INTRODUCTION
This morning, we’re going to talk about envy. This is one of the most subtle and unrecognized sins that we face as Christians. Envy gets into everything, and it’s like a cancer of the soul. Proverbs 14:30 says “Envy makes the bones rot.” And when it takes root, it overpowers us. “Who can stand before envy?”
1 SAMUEL 18
6 As they were coming home, when David returned from striking down the Philistine, the women came out of all the cities of Israel, singing and dancing, to meet King Saul, with tambourines, with songs of joy, and with musical instruments. 7 And the women sang to one another as they celebrated,
“Saul has struck down his thousands, and David his ten thousands.”
8 And Saul was very angry, and this saying displeased him. He said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed thousands, and what more can he have but the kingdom?” 9 And Saul eyed David from that day on.
DEFINITIONS
Envy is a feeling of unhappiness at the blessing and fortune of others. Jealousy is oriented toward what we possess; envy is oriented toward the possessions of others. Covetousness is an overweening desire for that which is not yours. It’s wanting something so much it makes you fussy. Envy is similar to pride in that they’re both rooted in the same self-will and selfish ambition. Pride looks down on those below with smug and satisfied arrogance. Envy looks at those above with chafing hatred. Rivalry is competition that is rooted in a proud and envious assessment of your own abilities and the abilities of others. Resentment is a simmering bitterness at some perceived injustice. Malice is the suppressed hatred that plots and takes pleasure in the downfall of another.
DAVID AND SAUL
We pick up the story immediately after David has killed Goliath. When the army returns to Jerusalem, the women come out of the city “to meet King Saul” (18:8). However, their song celebrates the accomplishments of both Saul and David. What’s more, their song elevates the young warrior over the great king: “Saul has slain his thousands, but David his ten thousands.” These accolades provoke the king to envy. Saul fixates on the comparison between himself and David. This is Saul’s party, and he is being overshadowed by David.
Saul’s envy begets rivalry in his heart. In v. 9, we’re told that Saul “eyed David from that day on.” He gives David the sidelong glance and begins to try to elbow him out. This rivalry is rooted in resentment, as Saul grows bitter at the perceived injustice of the comparison. Envy, rivalry, and resentment open the door to greater demonic influence, as a harmful spirit rushes upon Saul and he begins to maliciously hope for David’s downfall.
These are the many faces of envy. When Saul first sees David’s success, he takes him into his home (18:2), and sets him over the men of war (18:5). Then when envy is awakened, he grows erratic and tries to pin David to the wall with a spear. When David evades him, he grows fearful of him and sends him out of his house (18:13). When God continues to bless David, Saul stands in fearful awe of him (18:15). Then he begins to flatter David, offering him his daughter, while secretly plotting in his mind (18:17).
When David shows his humility (18:18), Saul withdraws the offer, but continues to plot. Saul brings others into the mix, using them to flatter David with lies about the king’s delight. When David again displays his humility (18:23), Saul’s plots escalate and he offers to accept 100 Philistine foreskins instead of a bride-price, in order to get rid of David (18:25). When David succeeds, Saul brings his hatred and malice into the open, telling his son and his servants that they should kill David (19:1).
HOW ENVY WORKS
First, envy follows success. What provokes envy in Saul is God’s hand of blessing on David. Envy follows success with a hungry eye, incessantly asking questions like “What about me?” or “Why not me?”
Second, envy operates close to home. It attacks our closest relationships first. We tend to envy those who are close at hand, who are like us, and who care about the same things that we do. As one author put it, “There is no disappointment so numbing…as someone no better than you achieving more.”
Saul’s envy is awakened when he brings David into his own house (18:2). For us, envy rears its ugly head when a friend or peer makes better grades, has more friends, is more likeable, receives a promotion, is given more opportunities, is given better opportunities, is better-looking, a better parent, more educated, more gifted, more popular, more intelligent, more esteemed, or more successful.
Third, envy involves mimetic desire. It’s a corrupted form of imitation. Imagine a room full of toy animals and a small child in the middle happily playing with a black horse. A second child walks into the room. Which toy does the second child want?
Now, before the second child came in, the first child could have happily put the black horse down in order to play with the brown cow. But now, he won’t. Why? The second child has also become a model leading to the tug-of-war experienced by every parent in the history of the world.
And this triangular desire is not just a feature of toddlers. It explains why two roommates will wreck a long friendship competing for the attention of the same girl. It explains why two co-workers will destroy a long partnership over a big client. It explains advertising, branding, and the willingness of people to pretend to enjoy things that they hate because someone that they admire enjoys it. It explains why a king who craves the esteem of his people would try to pin a young hero to the wall because he heard some women sing a song.
TESTING FOR ENVY
So how do we test for envy? We compare ourselves to Saul and Jonathan. Jonathan had every reason to fear and envy and compete with David. But Jonathan doesn’t resent David’s success. Jonathan recognizes the blessing of God on David, and Jonathan simply wants to be near him. He receives God’s blessing to David as a blessing to himself. In fact, later in 23:17, Jonathan says to David, “You shall be king over Israel and I shall be next to you.”
This is the test: How do you respond to the blessing and success of others? Do you murmur and gossip about it, or do you celebrate with them? Are you filled with gratitude, or carping rivalry? When it comes to the success and fruitfulness of others, are you their biggest fan or their biggest critic?
Husbands and wives, is there any resentment in your heart because you’re comparing the difficulty of your calling to the difficulty of your spouse’s? “I have the pressures of the home and the pressures of my job; she just has to worry about the house.” “My husband has done ten dishes, but I have done a thousand dishes.”
Unmarried folks, when your friend gets a girlfriend or boyfriend, or gets engaged, or gets married, are you genuinely happy for them? Young people, how do you respond when your friends and siblings are blessed by God? When they make the team or get an award or have lots of friends, do you rejoice for them? Or do you eye them with resentment and displeasure?
Moms, what is your reaction when someone else’s child succeeds? Are you constantly eyeing other moms like Saul eyed David, feeling anger and displeasure when God blesses their parenting efforts?
Men, how do you react when someone else gets a promotion at work? If you were the general in Saul’s army who was replaced by the young shepherd kid from Bethlehem, what would your reaction be? Would you throw your whole weight behind him? Or would you undermine his authority and leadership every chance you got?
THE CROSS OF CHRIST, THE GRACE OF GOD, AND GRATITUDE
The only way to destroy envy is through the cross of Jesus Christ. The blood of Christ alone cleanses us from the sins of envy and rivalry and resentment and malice. Jesus died to set us free from these chains of envy. You must trust in him alone for forgiveness and to meet all your needs.
Paul says “By the grace of God I am what I am” (1 Cor 15:10). Grace is what defines us. Grace is what makes us who and what we are. And God knows how to distribute his grace; he’s good and wise and wants nothing but good for you.
Because we are defined by the grace of God, we can give thanks always and for everything. Because we know that God has given us his Son Jesus and will one day give us all things, even now we can be filled with gratitude for all of his good gifts to us. Grateful people do not envy. Thank God for specific things that he has given to you, and then thank him for what he gives to other people. This is a true sign of a new heart: when you look at what God gives to other people (and not to you) and say “Thank you Lord, because you have been so kind to them and so kind to me.”
This is what the cross of Jesus does. This is what the grace of God does. May he do it for all of us.