At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

A gift in secret pacifieth anger: And a reward in the bosom strong wrath.

Proverbs 21:14

Here is a proverb that many Christians consider somewhat angular. We could just take it as a detached observation about how the world usually runs, but that seems inadequate. Like other proverbs, this seems aimed at directing our behavior. So is the Bible encouraging us to . . . give bribes?

But we have to make distinctions. It is obviously a sin for an official to take a bribe. That would mean that he was declining to do his duty unless someone sweetened the pot for him. But what if someone is giving a bribe to get an official to do his duty? 

So when it comes to taking a bribe, the testimony of Scripture is plain. Let’s start with a different proverb conjoined with other passages. 

“He who is greedy for gain troubles his own house, But he who hates bribes will live” (Proverbs 15:27). “And you shall take no bribe, for a bribe blinds the discerning and perverts the words of the righteous” (Exodus 23:8). “Surely oppression destroys a wise man’s reason, and a bribe debases the heart” (Ecclesiastes 7:7). “For I know your manifold transgressions and your mighty sins: Afflicting the just sand taking bribes; Diverting the poor from justice at the gate” (Amos 5:12).

These are all examples of men distorting justice in order to monetize their position for themselves. But let us say the situation is completely reversed. You are trying to get out of some kind of a hellhole of country, and the customs official is about to impound your daughter unless . . . and he looks at you meaningfully. A gift there would simply be to induce him to do what he ought to have done for free. It is not in the same category as the first scenario, which perverts justice.

At the same time, if you are a missionary to a country that runs on bribes, and it seems impossible to get anything official done without them, it is necessary to keep in the forefront of your mind the fact that this is one of the reforms that the Christian faith promises to bring—a system that does not have to be bribed and cajoled into doing right. And this means that you should seek to learn (from the more experienced missionaries) the various tricks that they have learned to enable them to avoid having to give bribes. This is needful because the system of bribes and bribery is a corrosive in that society, and the sooner it is gone the better.

It should also be mentioned that the proverb speaks of using the secret gift as a means of assuaging anger or wrath, and perhaps that is an indication for when a gift would be appropriate. If a greasy bureaucrat is just trying to make a little extra money, it might be best to stand your ground and say no. Just sit in his waiting room area. You have all afternoon.  

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

Proverbs 21:19

Rather than live with a woman who refuses to be a sweetheart, a man would prefer to go live in the howling wilderness, and to deal with whatever he finds there.

There are two important things we can gather from this, but before getting to that, let us say something else first by way of qualification. I know that there are many wives who might get their hackles up over a proverb like this, and they might want to say that living with a contentious and angry man is not exactly a picnic either. This is exactly right, but even to raise the question reveals one of the more common errors of our generation. This proverb is not a slam against women or wives, but rather a rebuke of those women who are hard to deal with. It is not a claim that women generally are hard to deal with, and that the men are just great. Rather it is an acknowledgement that women can sin, and that it is very destructive when they sin in this way. It is a statement that women who sin are women who sin. You can’t say everything in every proverb, and there are plenty of other places in the book of Proverbs that itemize the foolish things that men do. Nevertheless, this one is about carping women.

So what can we glean from this proverb? The first thing is the importance of peace in the home. Not only so, but we see how important the peace of the home is to men. Men, taken as a class, want to stay out of conflict with their wives. They (usually) hate it. Rather than lead their wives and families the way they were instructed to do, they would rather retreat . . . to man caves, to hunting trips (in the wilderness), to poker night with the boys. Spending time with friends occasionally is of course just fine, but getting away from home is a problem.

The second thing is the nature of the problem. When you are in a wilderness, you can pitch a tent. You can build a fire. You can build an igloo. Even in a wilderness, it is possible to carve out a cozy spot. That cozy spot is in a wilderness, but it can still be a cozy spot. But when a man is dealing with a contentious and angry woman, there is no cozy spot. She is right in there with you. Unlike when you are in the wilderness, there is no place to go.

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

An high look, and a proud heart, and the plowing of the wicked, is sin.

Proverbs 21:4

This proverb cuts to the heart of all ethical evaluations. The rightness or wrongness of any particular act cannot really be measured from the outside in. In other words, an action might be innocent in itself, that is to say, unobjectionable as a discrete action, and yet be evil for two reasons—because of its context and because of its intent.

This proverb is talking about intent, as identified by the first half of the proverb. A high or haughty look demonstrates a snooty or supercilious spirit, and a proud heart is, well, proud. Arrogant. Conceited. Puffed up. These attitudes contaminate an otherwise unobjectionable action, which would be the plowing. Plowing in itself is good, honest work, and it is commended in Scripture over against sleeping in, or watching television all day. 

But when someone plows all day because of envious competition with an older brother, or because a lust for riches has him by the throat, or because the owner of the field left the country for a couple of years and his neighbor thought to steal a crop or two from him, then the intent is all wrong, and contaminates this otherwise honest work.

The last example shows how bad intent can drive otherwise honest work into the context of sin. Because his intent was to get the produce off land that was not his, he wound up stealing from his neighbor.

High morale for a crew is a good thing in itself, but not on a pirate ship. Skilled seamanship is a good thing, not with a pirate crew. Dauntless courage is a good thing, but not when you are a pirate. 

And a moment’s reflection should reveal that the only thing that can drive good actions into bad contexts would be the self-willed nature of sin and pride.

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: But every fool will be meddling.

Proverbs 20:3

There is a principle here that has applications in multiple directions. We necessarily look out at the world with our own eyes, and cannot do anything differently. We must look at the world through our own eyes. That’s why God gave them to us.

Problems arise when we do not recognize the limitations involved. Problems arise when we do not realize the need that we all have to see the back of our head. And that requires reliance on the wisdom of Scripture (which is a looking glass—Jas. 1:23), and the fellowship of the saints, who can help you see things that you can’t see (Matt. 7:1-5). In order for this process to work rightly, we all must recognize that we all have the propensity to the disobedience of looking out for our own interests. “Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others” (Phil. 2:4). Paul reminds the Philippians that Timothy was not like that (Phil.2:20-21). This is basic Golden Rule stuff. You can’t obey the Golden Rule if you don’t know how to step into someone else’s way of looking at the world. 

In this proverb, the buyer doesn’t see how hypocritical he is being. When he is negotiating the purchase with the seller, all he can talk about is what a bag of rags the object is, and how it is astonishing that he, a sophisticated shopper, would even deign to look at such garbage. Then, having bought it, and when he is safely around the corner, he wants everyone to know that he clearly knows how to spot value. In short, he is talking in contradictory ways, and does not see how two-faced he is being.

It all depends upon which side of the bread the butter is on. It all depends on whose ox is being gored. The greenness of the grass depends on which side of the fence you are on. We have many ways of pointing at this phenomenon. Upton Sinclair captured the problem when he said, “It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it.”

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

It is an honour for a man to cease from strife: But every fool will be meddling.

Proverbs 20:3

A lot of wisdom is crammed into this short proverb. First we are told that walking away from a fight can be honorable. The reason many men quarrel or fight or contend is that they believe that it is necessarily dishonorable not to. They think that a masculine response has to confront every insult or slight, and yet we are told here that it can be honorable to just walk away.

We are taught this elsewhere in Proverbs.

“The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult.” (Proverbs 12:16, ESV).

The AV has “covereth shame” here, meaning that the prudent man is carrying the shame of the man who insults. The insulting one is the shamed one. He disgraces himself by his behavior, and the prudent man overlooks it.

At the same time, there are times when a man’s office and responsibility are all tied up in the insult, and when that happens, a prudent man draws a firm line. “These things speak, and exhort, and rebuke with all authority. Let no man despise thee” (Titus 2:15).

There is a stark difference between running away from a conflict like a coward, and stepping away from a conflict like a judicious Christian man. It is our responsibility to know and practice the different. There is a difference between getting beat up and turning the other cheek, in other words.

The second half of the proverb is also instructive. While it is honorable for a man to step away from strife, there is another kind of man who meddles. He is a fool. He doesn’t have strife on his hands yet, but he is going to in a minute. 

The wise man knows what makes strife go away, and the fool does not know what makes it come.

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