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Parenting in the Kingdom

Christ Church on November 25, 2018

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Introduction

Parenting is one of the most difficult, important, and rewarding tasks in this life. Particularly in a community that has been taught about the importance of childrearing, this can add to the pressure, fear, and disappointment when things are not going as we had imagined. But raising children well is a grace of God; it is one of the gifts the Holy Spirit gives to those who ask.

The Text

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:1-4).

Children of the Kingdom

The Bible is clear that the children of believers are not future citizens of the Kingdom of God; they are presentcitizens of the Kingdom. “Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God” (Mk. 10:14). Even this command to children to obey their parents, alongside all the other commands “in the Lord,” implies that they have a role to play in the Lord(Eph. 6:1). The Psalmist famously sings,“Out of the mouth of babes and nursing infants You have ordained strength, because of Your enemies, that You may silence the enemy and the avenger” (Ps. 8:2). Jesus also makes it clear that the faith of little ones is the exemplar for adults: “Assuredly, I say to you, unless you are converted and become as little children, you will by no means enter the kingdom of heaven” (Matt. 18:3). Remember, David said, “But You are He who took Me out of the womb; You made Me trust while on My mother’s breasts. I was cast upon You from birth. From My mother’s womb You have been My God” (Ps. 22:9-10). Likewise, John the Baptist leaped for joy in Elizabeth’s womb (Lk. 1:41, 44). This is why Jesus gives such a stern warning: “… whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in Me to sin, it would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck, and he were drowned in the depth of the sea” (Matt. 18:6).

The Culture & Counsel of the Gospel

Literally, the words “training” and “admonition” mean “culture” and “counsel.” This goes all the way back to the instructions Moses gave Israel as they prepared to enter the Promised Land: “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and you shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates” (Dt. 6:7-9). We are to talk about God’s ways everywhere because His ways effect everything. To love the Lord with all we are is to love His lordship overall we are.

And we love His rule because it led to our deliverance: “When your son asks you in time to come, saying,`What is the meaning of the testimonies, the statutes, and the judgments which the LORD our God has commanded you?’ then you shall say to your son: `We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, and the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand… that He might bring us in, to give us the land of which He swore to our fathers’” (Dt. 6:20-24). The whole point of the law was to talk about God’s grace and freedom. The point of parenting is to celebrate God’s grace and freedom, and this means tonsof confession of sin and forgiveness. We are Christians: this means we know what to do with sin. So the tenor of our homes must be joy.

Teaching Obedience

The central task of parents is teaching obedience to God. We live in an arrogant and sentimental world that thinks it knows better than God’s Word. But young children must be taught from a young age to obey their parents. The same Psalmist who said he learned to trust God from his mother’s womb also said that he was conceived in sin (Ps. 51:2). Young children are not naturally inclined to obey, but they are designed to be taught God’s grace. “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him” (Prov. 22:15). In the ordinary course of things, when Christian parents faithfully seek to drive foolishness from their children through spanking, God blesses children with wise hearts. “The rod and rebuke give wisdom, but a child left to himself brings shame to his mother” (Prov. 29:15). This is why regular, prompt corporal discipline is loving: “He who spares his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him promptly” (Prov. 13:24). The rod, lovingly administered, is love, but the rod is not automatically love. Spanking in anger or frustration is not love; nor is it love to administer the rod long after an offense has been committed (worse the younger they are).

Related to all of this is the implied biblical advice: do not try to reason with young children. It doesn’t really matter how you feel inside, and feelings are often manipulative. Children must simply be required to obey right away, all the way, and cheerfully. They also don’t know how they should feelabout sin; discipline is teaching them how to feel.And every trip to the “wood shed” (or wherever) should be accompanied by prayer, forgiveness, and full reconciliation/restitution (as age appropriate). Some toddlers will require battles of the will, and parents must commit themselves to winning. Sometimes this will require stretches of hours, days, or a couple of weeks of intense focus (dads, take initiative). Don’t give up; the peaceable fruit of righteousness is worth it (Heb. 12:11).

Conclusion: As a Tender Father

While Scripture is clear that children must be taught to honor and obey father and mother, and therefore, mothers have significant responsibilities in the training up of children (Prov. 1:8), Paul clearly singles out fathers here, instructing them not to provoke their children to wrath but to train their children in the culture and counsel of the Lord. We live in a father-hungry world. None of our fathers were perfect, and some of our fathers failed significantly. Some of us are tempted to be harsh, and some of us are tempted to be indulgent. Some of us work too much, and some of us just don’t know how to relate well to our children.

So how can flawed men hope to be faithful fathers? The answer is that you must have a new father. The only good fathers in this world have a perfect Father in heaven. And His perfection is particularly evidenced in His pity: “For as the heavens are high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has He removed our transgressions from us. As a father pities his children, so the LORD pities those who fear Him. For He knows our frame; He remembers that we are dust” (Ps. 103:11-14). Do you pity your children? Are you a tender father? This is not sentimentalism; this is Christian love. You cannot bea tender father unless you have the Lord as your Tender Father. But this is only possible by the Spirit of adoption: “For you did not receive the spirit of bondage again to fear, but you received the Spirit of adoption by whom we cry out, “Abba, Father” (Rom. 8:15).

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Left-Handed Power

Christ Church on November 4, 2018

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Introduction

One of the results of rebelling against the Lordship of Jesus and His authority over all things is a humanistic obsession with power. When human societies reject the power of the cross as oppressive and tyrannical, the whole point is to create a void for fools to rush into. Under the Lordship of Jesus, all lawful authority is established, delegated, and therefore accountable to Christ. But when Christ is rejected, everything is up for grabs, and Christians are sometimes tempted, in the name of realism, to join one of the factions. But we are called to embrace the Lordship of Jesus, and His assignments in our lives, through embracing His example of left-handed power.

The Text

“Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward. For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully, For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God. 21For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps: Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously…” (1 Pet. 2:20-23)

Value Structures

Part of the problem we have with the commands of God is our flawed value system. We don’t value the things that God values and so His commands can seem strange. It would be a bit like suddenly arriving in a civilization where everyone scrupulously saved pennies but threw away all the quarters. It would seem backward and wasteful. But what if you grew up in that backward civilization and then suddenly arrived back in our present day? You might still have old habits of throwing quarters away and a strange attachment to pennies. This is what it’s like becoming a Christian. But in addition to the old man and the flesh striving with the Spirit and the new man, we have cultural norms and systems that reinforce various sins or virtues.

We see this throughout the passage: What are slaves to value? What are wives to value? What are husbands to value? The consistent pattern is to value what lookslike weakness, but which is actuallypower. The believing slave is to suffer injustice patiently by trusting “him that judgeth righteously” (1 Pet. 2:20-23) – this has the power to change lives (1 Pet. 2:24-25). The wife with a disobedient husband is to submit without a word, adorning her life with the beauty of holiness, trusting in God without fear (1 Pet. 3:1-6) – that she might winher husband – for this is “in the sight of God of great price” (1 Pet. 3:4). And husbands are to honor their wives as the weaker vessel, that their prayers might be answered(1 Pet. 3:7). A little further down, Peter says, “For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil” (1 Pet. 3:12). What is valuable? What is powerful? Patient trust in God.

No Guile in the Mouth

The central model for this left-handed power is Jesus, who suffered for us leaving us an example (1 Pet. 2:21). He of all people had the best excuses, the best argument for why everyone around Him was wrong and how they were all going down, but He did no sin, neither was any guilefound in His mouth (1 Pet. 2:22). What is guile? Guile is cunning, craftiness, wiliness, slyness, deviousness, plotting, duplicity, or treachery. On the one hand, Peter is likely emphasizing just how perfect Jesus was – He didn’t even sin with His mouth. But the point is also to point out the place every man or woman struggles: the mouth. “For we all stumble in many things. If anyone does not stumble in word, he is a perfect man, able also to bridle the whole body” (Jas. 3:2). And as Jesus insisted: For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matt. 12:34).And James again: “If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless” (Jas. 1:26). Putting all of this together, the first result of a changed heart will be a changed tongue/mouth. But there are plenty of people who think they are very religious who are setting whole forests on fire with their words (Jas. 3:6). Bitterness is a root that defiles many (Heb. 12:15).

Some Christians are straight up bitter and foul – cursing and complaining like verbal terrorists. If this is you, you are self-deceived, and your religion is useless. But most Christians are more self-aware and careful, but they can still be self-deceived. And this brings us back to the guile, which is closely related to the idea of dissembling. To dissemble is to conceal your true motives, feelings, or beliefs. When Jesus suffered unjustly, He was not dissembling. He was not pretending anything. He was not being crafty or duplicitous. His intentions and motives and plans were right out in the open for all to see. And this is the example for slaves, wives, husbands, for all Christians. Christian submission does not mean putting a brave face on it while freaking out inside, muttering threats under your breath, smiling in public while cursing in your heart, or passive-aggressive avoidance of conflict while pushing your agenda – all of that is guilein your mouth. And it is fundamentally not trusting God.

Trusting God Means Loving Him More

In Luke, Jesus says, “If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple” (Lk. 14:26). But remember that this is the same Jesus who affirmed the fifth commandment (Lk. 18:20) and condemned building campaigns that functioned as write-offs for financially supporting parents (Mk. 7:10-13). Clearly the point is that Jesus requires absolute loyalty. Love for Jesus must be ultimate, supreme. In Sheldon Vanauken’s book A Severe Mercy, he recounts what it felt like when his wife “Davy” became a Christian before him. He describes her going to church and bible studies without him feeling like “unfaithfulness.” Love for Jesus will sometimes appear dismissive, even hatefulof good gifts of God. Why? Because You love Jesus way more.

The biblical name for anything that feels threatened by Jesus is an idol. An idol need not be an actual statue or image. It can just as easily be an image in your head, a scene of happiness, desire for respect and leadership, a theological conviction, a longing for a certain job, church, spouse, sex, children, family, house, friendships, whatever. That’s still a graven image; it’s still an imaginedreality that you are placing your hopes in for your joy, happiness, pleasure, or success. But what if that is not God’s plan for your life? The point is not to have low expectations or do a soccer-flop of apathy. The point is true and complete submission. Do you love Jesus more than everything?

Conclusion

Left-handed power is God’s power working in history, through men, women, slaves, Christians who trust and obey Him in the midst of injustice, disobedience, weakness, trouble. And that trust is evident in their words that reflect honest, trusting hearts. There is no guile in their mouths because there is no guile in their hearts because they have new hearts. We love Jesus more than anything and anyone because He suffered for us, and now we have died to sin and by His stripes we are healed. We had gone astray, but He has brought us home. And so we trust Him with it all. He is watching. He is listening. And He will judge righteously.

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Marriage Tune-Up

Christ Church on October 28, 2018

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Introduction

Many of us are getting our houses and vehicles ready for winter weather, and so why not our marriages? It’s easy to fall into ruts and habits that just seem normal when in fact they are wearing on us and harming our families in ways we do not realize. Likewise, many poor habits leave us incredibly vulnerable when trials and difficulties hit. The question is not whether you will face trials, the only question is when. Will your marriage be ready when the storms come?

The Texts

“And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” Colossians 3:17-18

“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.” 1 Peter 3:7-9

Fellowship with One Another

John says that if we walk in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin (1 Jn. 1:7). This is not a magical thing, as John proceeds to explain that this has everything to do with regularly confessing our sins (1 Jn. 1:9). The flip side of this is regularly forgiving those who confess their sins to us (Mt. 18:21-22, Lk. 17:4). This is the secret of Christian fellowship in general and Christian marriage in particular. Doing everything in the name of the Lord Jesus and walking in such a way as to inherit a blessing are ways of describing Christian fellowship. Being a Christian doesn’t mean you don’t sin anymore. Being a Christian means you know what to do about sin. The difference between a clean house and messy house is that in the clean house they pick up. Confession of sin and forgiveness is like taking out the trash and doing the dishes. It’s what you do. For Christians to act shocked and befuddled when sin happens is like being surprised when the two year old drops a meat ball on the floor. That’s just what two year olds do. And remember, there’s no sin that you can’t make worse by denying it, trying to hide it, lying about it or blustering or blaming for it. Just confess it and forgive it quickly. Take out the trash. And remember, practice makes perfect. So what are you practicing?

Fellowship with God & One Another

Confession and forgiveness flow from fellowship with God (Eph. 4:32) and therefore they are prerequisites for enjoying fellowship with God: “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift” (Mt. 5:23-24). You cannot come into church to fellowship with God while being out of fellowship with other believers, especially your spouse. Paul says that when there are divisions within the church, whatever we’re doing with the bread and wine, it is not the Lord’s Supper (1 Cor. 11:18-20). Better to be 15 minutes late and actually participate in church than to arrive on-time to only pretend to. This is why Peter warns husbands to honor their wives that their prayers be not hindered (1 Pet. 3:7). It may be that Peter is saying that harsh husbands won’t know how to pray, but it seems more likely that Peter is saying that God will only listen to a man as well as he listens to his wife. The same principle should apply to any sort of fellowship gathering. Don’t pretend fellowship with others while being out of fellowship yourselves.

Fellowship & Difference

Understand deep in your bones the difference between being out of fellowship and not having the exact same opinion about everything. You must not go to bed angry at your spouse (or anyone for that matter) (Eph. 4:26), but sometimes you really do need to go to bed and get a full night’s sleep before you’ll be able to think and communicate your various convictions about which math curriculum is the most Reformed. Do not be threatened by differences of opinion or perspective. The glory of heterosexuality is the glory of difference. Some of our differences are sexual, some are personality, others are cultural or experiential. But marriage is signing up to live with someone different from you. This is a blessing if received in faith and obedience. So do not be threatened or alarmed at different perspectives. Husbands, honor your wives. Honor their opinions. Listen to their input. And wives, recognize that you signed up to follow this man’s lead. You must give your input respectfully and then, like Trumpkin, know the difference between giving counsel and taking orders.

Sweet Fellowship

Marriage should be full of sweet fellowship. Review the descriptions of Christian fellowship surrounding some of the particular commands for husbands and wives (Col. 3:12-14, 1 Pet. 3:8-9). A Christian marriage must not be characterized by bickering, arguing, raised voices, eye rolling, biting words, sarcasm, or frustration. A Christian marriage is singled out to represent Christ and His Bride. It is to be characterized by mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forbearing, forgiveness, love, like-mindedness, compassion, courtesy, and blessing. And if you say, well, we don’t argue in public (but your home is frequently a place of argument), that’s what we call hypocrisy. Your children can see the difference, and you are telling lies to them. You are telling lies about what matters, about what God sees, about what marriage is like. Not a few kids grow up in so-called Christian homes and want nothing to do with that sort of thing by the time they leave. A Christian marriage is becoming something of rarity (much to our shame). But a Christian marriage should be one of the most striking things for unbelievers to see: two different people who are strong and intelligent who deeply respect one another and love being with one another.

What You Signed Up For

Husbands, you signed up to learn how to love one woman well. This is what you are commanded to do. In order to do this you must be a student of your wife. This implies that you don’t understand her, and yet you must begin to. And very closely related to this, you must not grow bitter at her or resent her weaknesses but rather you must honor her, think highly of her, and speak graciously to her. The model for this kind of love is Jesus, and this means that studying your wife does not mean giving her everything she asks for. If Jesus gave us everything we asked for, we’d all be doomed. In this is love, not that we knew what we needed, but that God knew what we needed and sent His Son for our sins. Husbands, you must love your wives like that with joy.

Wives, your task is to submit to your own husbands and to let them love you like Christ loves the Church. Your temptation is to resent their faltering attempts to love you, rather than respecting the great difficulty it is to actually love you biblically. Recognize that there’s more than a little Hollywood in your hearts that you need to get rid of. While a real man imitating the real love of Christ is certainly courteous, it’s also deeply offensive to modern sensibilities. Do not look sideways at the other men or marriages. Look at your man and respect him in the Lord. The Lord gave you that man, and despite his weaknesses and sin, he is the one God has instructed to love you. Respect that. Honor that. And submit to him in the Lord with joy.

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Why Revoice is Wrong Voice (CRF)

Christ Church on September 25, 2018

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Introduction

This last summer, the Revoice Conference was hosted by Memorial Presbyterian Church in St. Louis, MO (PCA). The purpose of the conference as stated on the website is: “Supporting, encouraging, and empowering gay, lesbian, same-sex-attracted, and other gender and sexual minority Christians so they can flourish while observing the historic, Christian doctrine of marriage and sexuality.” Included in the talks was one workshop asking: What queer treasure will be brought into the New Jerusalem? Revoice and the related Gay Celibate Christian movement seek a way to identify with homosexual temptation while affirming the Bible’s teaching about homosexual practice and Christian marriage.

A Failure to Love Sexual Sinners

I want to frame my critique of this conference and the related ministries (Spiritual Friendship, Livingout dot org, etc) with a critique of the Bible-believing Church as a whole. But I need to state this point carefully. It is trendy to blame the conservative Church for not being loving enough, for forcing those who struggle with sexual sin underground or out of the church.

Revoice is one way to disobey God’s command to minister to sexual sinners, but in many ways, they are merely doing what much of the conservative church has done clumsily. That is, most modern conservative Christian churches fail to love sexual sinners by failing to preach the gospel and the full counsel of God to every sexual sin. I do not believe our sin has been in not being nice or kind or hospitable (though there are no doubt instances of that). Our sin has primarily been in cowardly silence and beating around the bush and embarrassment combined with a fumbling attempt to stay biblical.

But Jesus died a shameful death for shameful sin. If the human race has not committed abominations, then there was no need for Jesus to die a cursed death. And so, I do believe the Christian Church has failed to love sexual sinners, but it has done so primarily through a failure to name sin biblically, preach the gospel into every dark corner of human depravity, and to practice church discipline consistently. The church has not preached the gospel boldly to pornography, fornication, divorce, adultery – nor have we practiced consistent church discipline in these areas, and so we cannot be shocked when we fall down the next step of the staircase of sexual confusion.

Ten Failures of Revoice & the Gay Celibate Christian Movement

  1. Muddled and contradictory language throughout, starting with the mission statement. How do you empower sinful identities to flourish while observing the historic, Christian doctrines of marriage and sexuality? How do you empower sin to be holy? If the answer to that question is anything other than repentance, we’re in trouble. What other gender and sexual minorities would Revoice be willing to include? Would they say that they want to empower pedophiles? What about those tempted to bestiality? What about those tempted to incest? What pedophile treasure will be brought into the New Jerusalem? To ask the question is to answer it. But the Bible actually tells us: “For without [the city] are dogs, and sorcerers, and whoremongers, and murderers, and idolaters, and whosoever loveth and maketh a lie” (Rev. 22:15, cf. Dt. 23:18). Other examples of muddled language can be found in a recent “Church Audit” published on the Livingout dot org website: “Your church family meetings include people who could be labeled LGBTQI+/same-sex attracted.” The ambiguities are rampant. “Include?” “Could be labeled as?” What is that “plus sign?” Are they included forever in any way? Is Church discipline an “inclusive” practice? Another statement from the audit: “Church family members instinctively share meals, homes, holidays, festivals, money, children with others from different backgrounds and life situations to them.” Without clear distinctions, the muddle creates real awkwardness if not terrifying naivete. Are same-sex tempted men sharing homes together? Are parents being encouraged to share their children with pedophile-tempted adults?
  2. The assumption built into the Revoice mission statement and in most of the Gay but Celibate literature is that there is some way of identifying with these sins without actually practicing them. The assumption seems to be that there is something inherently good about the inclination/orientation that should be redeemed while rejecting the lifestyle. But this is like trying to affirm the seed while rejecting the plant. But Paul says, “Likewise reckon ye also yourselves to be dead indeed unto sin, but alive unto God through Jesus Christ our Lord” (Rom. 6:11). There is no suggestion or inference in Scripture that the impulse/temptation to sin carries within it something inherently good, something to be appreciated or celebrated. Sin is to be uprooted, completely mortified/killed (Col. 3:1ff). The impulse/temptation (inside us) to sin is a result of our fallen nature (Js. 1:14-15). Jesus was tempted in every way just as we are, but without sin – but his experience of temptation was only from the outside.
  3. These movements have a strong tendency to flatten out all sexual sin. E.g. “We are all sexually broken,” etc. But the Bible clearly teaches that some sexual sins are the result of previous sin. “The mouth of the strange women is a deep pit; he that is abhorred of the Lord shall fall therein” (Prov. 22:14). “Because that, when they knew God, they glorified him not as God, neither were thankful; but became vain in their imaginations, and their foolish heart was darkened. Professing themselves to be wise, they became fools, and changed the glory of the uncorruptible God into an image made like to corruptible man, and to birds, and fourfooted beasts, and creeping things. Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies between themselves…” (Rom. 1:21-24). Adultery is a judgment from God, and homosexuality is a judgment from God. There is a certain kind of hard-hearted rebellion that results in same-sex lust. It is true that all sexual sin equally deserves death and is therefore equally justified in the sight of God by the blood of Christ, but it is not true that all sexual sin is therefore equally vile or damaging. Some sexual sins are more unnatural, and therefore cause more damage in this world, requiring more sanctification/restitution to put right.
  4. Related, is the failure to name sexual sins biblically. “You shall not lie with a male, as with a woman: it is an abomination. Nor shall you mate with any animal, to defile yourself with it. It is perversion/confusion. Do not defile yourselves with any of these things; for by all these the nations are defiled, which I am casting out before you. For the land is defiled; therefore I visit the punishment of its iniquity upon it, and the land vomits out its inhabitants” (Lev. 18:22-25). “If a man lies with a male as he lies with with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death. Their blood shall be upon them… (Lev. 20:13-16). “There shall be no harlot of the daughters of Israel or a [male prostitute] of the sons of Israel. You shall not bring the wages of a harlot or the price of a dog [slang for male prostitute] to the house of the Lord your God for any vowed offering, for both of these are an abomination to the Lord your God” (Dt. 23:17-18). Putting these texts together with the prophets, particularly Jeremiah and Ezekiel, I conclude that abominations are the sort of sins that defile the land. They are particularly infectious and socially polluting, requiring God to swiftly judge whole nations (cf. Jer. 4:1, 6:15, 8:12, 32:34-36ff). Speaking of the New Jerusalem, John says, “But there shall by no means enter it anything that defiles, or causes an abomination or a lie, but only those who are written in the Lamb’s Book of Life” (Rev. 21:27). “For this reason, God gave them up to vile passions. For even their women exchanged the natural use for what is against nature. Likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust for one another, men with men committing what is shameful, and receiving in themselves the penalty of their error which was due. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a debased mind, to do those things which are not fitting…” (Rom. 1:26-28). The word for “vile” literally means “dishonorable,” and likewise, the word “shameful” is used in the Old Testament Septuagint to translate the word “nakedness” (e.g. Lev. 20) as well as unclean excrement (Dt. 23:13-14). Finally, as noted earlier, the Bible refers to homosexuals as “dogs,” highlighting the beastly nature of these acts. Naming is act of submission to God and a means of exercising godly authority in the world. If the Church would embrace it’s calling to rule over these sexual confusions, we must name them biblically.
  5. Revoice and related ministries fail to condemn the sin of effeminacy and softness: “Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with mankind, nor thieves… shall inherit the kingdom of God…” (1 Cor. 6:9-10). The queer will not inherit the Kingdom of Heaven. The word for “effeminate” is malakoi, and the word means “soft.” Robert Gagnon argues persuasively that this word does refer to passive partners in sodomy, but it can also include a man feminizing his appearance and manner. The only other use of the word in the New Testament is in the gospels where Jesus asks about John the Baptist and whether they would expect to find him in a king’s palace wearing “soft” clothes (Mt. 11:8, Lk. 7:25). Related, is the Bible’s prohibition against crossdressing: “A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the Lord your God” (Dt. 22:5). The synonymous word in Hebrew is rak which means soft, tender, or fainthearted (cf. Dt. 20:8, 2 Chron. 13:7). This is also why the Bible describes men who grow fainthearted in battle as acting like women (Is. 19:16, Jer. 51:30). The failure of men to embrace their glory to be strong, and to use their strength to do the good things God has assigned them and protect the weak is the sin of effeminacy.
  6. Revoice and similar ministries often fail to emphasize the fact that Christians are new creations in Christ, with sexed bodies given as specific gender assignments. “Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new” (2 Cor. 5:17). Some, like Sam Allberry, are eager to emphasize identity in Christ, yet sometimes, this “identity in Christ” effectively de-sexes individuals. But finding your identity in Christ means a sanctification of your created body and its attendant gendered assignments. Your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. If God created you with a male body, He has given you an assignment to live in this world as a man. If God gave you a female body, He has given you an assignment to live in this world as a woman. This means, to put it frankly, because of this binary sexed nature of human beings made in the image of God, all human interaction in this world is inherently heterosexual. There is only one obedient orientation and it is heterosexual. This affects everything from child-rearing to brother/sister relationships, to business and professional relationships to courting and marriage. And everything in between. Holding doors for women, being ready and willing to defend women and children, standing when a woman enters the room – these are ways we signal honor for the heterosexuality of the world. These are ways that the marriage bed is honored by all (Heb. 13:4). Being “in Christ” does not obliterate those good, creational differences and assignments. “There is neither male nor female in Christ” is speaking specifically about justification and the fact that all have an equal inheritance in Christ, but that fact that Paul can also say that women must not teach men or have authority over them but love the fruitfulness of childbearing because Adam was created first clearly indicates that these sexed creational realities have not been obliterated (1 Tim. 2). This also clearly indicates that there are only two sexes (Gen. 1:27, Mk. 10:6).
  7. Bad homosexual genealogies: what is the origin of homosexual desire? “For this cause God gave them up to vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: and likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another…” (Rom. 1:26-27) The origin of homosexual desire is a rejection of heterosexual desire. It is not a desire for same sex friendship. It is a rejection of what is embedded in nature. This desire may certainly be driven by deep hurts or abuses or loneliness. But the Bible gives no indication that there is some kind inherent gift or glory in not embracing the natural glory of being made male/female in the image of God and therefore oriented toward heterosexual marriage.
  8. Frequently, the space that these folks are seeking to carve out is found in the categories of celibacy, friendship, and singleness. I believe this is a pastoral noose and a burden that is too heavy for many to bear. First, in some of the Spiritual Friendship writings, there is reference to lifelong covenants, buying houses together, vacationing, and even raising children together as “just friends.” But this is just as foolish as a man and woman doing the same thing as “just friends.” God has made the world such that certain liturgies, rituals create a certain kind gravity. You can’t be “just friends.” And while it’s certainly possible for two men or two women to be “just friends” this needs to be done without practicing certain rituals/liturgies that signify marriage or romance. But some of the Revoice folks are actually saying that it’s perfectly fine to “date” your same-sex friends, snuggle on the couch, and hold hands. This is pure folly. Two dudes sharing an apartment together should live as men and avoid any appearance of effeminacy. But all of that folly is built on the assumption that many same-sex tempted Christians just won’t or shouldn’t get married. But this is contrary to the teaching of Scripture. “But I say to the unmarried and to the widows: it is good for them if they remain even as I am; but if they cannot exercise self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion (1 Cor. 7:8-9). What does it mean to “burn with passion?” I submit that it refers to anyone with any sort of ongoing, regular temptation to sexual sin. If you have any sort of temptation toward sexual sin, you ought to seek marriage. One of the common rejoinders to this is that Paul is clearly talking about heterosexually tempted people not homosexually tempted people. But this is to assume that the origin of homosexual temptation is fundamentally different that heterosexual temptation. But as we have seen, homosexual temptation is derived from a rejection of heterosexual orientation (Rom. 1). And interestingly, Paul describes homosexual lust as “burning” (Rom. 1:27). It’s a different Greek word, but it’s lexically synonymous. In Romans 1, it is clear that repentance for homosexual lust would be to return to the right and natural use of the sexes. And that is only expressed sexually in marriage. As Paul also says in 1 Cor. 7:5, marital sexual relations is one of the ways God protects His people from the temptations of Satan. None of this is an excuse for rushing into marriage imprudently, and it certainly remains a live possibility that some who seek marriage will not find a spouse. But in either case, we may confidently say that individuals who experience sexual temptation of any kind ought to be carefully pastored toward Christian marriage.
  9. One of the great failures of this movement is the frequent lack of distinction between reigning (justification) and remaining sin (sanctification). From the Livingout church audit: “No-one would be pressured into expecting or seeking any ‘healing’ or change that God has not promised any of us until the renewal of all things.” The rhetorical effect of this (whether intentional or not) is certainly to discourage expecting much healing. But the truth is that the gospels proclaim a marked deliverance from the power of reigning sin in every believer, while recognizing the ongoing battle with remaining sin (Rom. 6:11-12, Col. 3:1-4ff). This ambiguity is hardly surprising since many within the “Spiritual Friendship” movement are Roman Catholic. Roman Catholicism does not recognize the Protestant/biblical distinction between justification and sanctification. This is why Roman Catholicism (and Eastern Orthodoxy) have such a difficult time articulating a doctrine of eternal security by grace. It’s impossible not to feel the weight of sanctification as your necessary contribution to your salvation, especially when you believe that you lose your justification when you sin (according to the Catholic catechism). But the Bible teaches that justification means a radical new and permanent identity in Christ along with the destruction of the power of reigning sin, and from that firm rock of Christ, an all-out war against remaining sin commences with an absolutely sure victory in view because of the cross. It is a serious mistake for Protestants to make an alliance with Roman Catholics when it comes to proclaiming the gospel to those ensnared by sexual sin.
  10. Finally, one of the great errors of evangelicalism (for many decades) has been the assumption that experience with sin grants authority to speak on it. So adulterers or divorcees are sometimes granted authority to speak or even ordained as ministers because we think their experience in sin (and presumably repentance/forgiveness) somehow makes them understand those sins better. But this is not true at all. Jesus is our Great High Priest who sympathizes with us in our weakness. But He understands us better than anyone else precisely because He did not give into any sin. So too, those who remain firm and resist sin and preserved by God, are in a better position to lead and serve and teach the church than those burdened by temptations and past sins (Gal. 6:1, Lk. 7:41-42). While God is free to raise up the occasional Saul of Tarsus, and I would not automatically disqualify a man from office because of past homosexual temptation, our instinct should not be to grant authority to those who have fallen. They need our love, our care, true friendship, church discipline, but they do not need to be made authorities. But this is precisely what many of these men and women are clamoring for. Nate Collins, the founder of Revoice, spoke in his talk at this year’s conference about the idea that “LGBT Christians” were something like lonely prophetic voices calling the Church to faithfulness. But there is a massive difference between refugees of the world and apostles of the world. The former are welcome and the latter are not. The Christian Church must not submit to men and women who are struggling with these sins, or bow to their dominant narratives (e.g. they cannot be healed, many cannot marry, etc.). You do not turn the cancer ward over to the cancer patients. We certainly must listen to them, but they are not authorities on their sin. God and His Scriptures remain our perfect authority. Extreme patience and prudence should be practiced, but three (or fifteen) sad stories do not render Scripture incompetent to address our needs. God’s Word remains true and absolutely sufficient.

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Covenantal Contentment

Christ Church on September 23, 2018

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Introduction

Christians are called to contentment not merely because this is a good thing, but because it is a central component of joining God’s mission, of establishing His Kingdom here in this world, and learning to fight like Christians.

The Text

Paul is writing in a context of intense struggle in Philippi. There are enemies outside and there are challenges inside the Church, and Paul urges the Philippians to rejoice in all of it (Phil. 4:4). A Christian should be known for being calm and stable because they know that the Lord is present and near to them (Phil. 4:5). And therefore, we fight all anxiety through prayer: casting our cares on Christ, with thanksgiving (Phil. 4:6). When we pray like that, God’s promise is that His peace which passes all understanding will guard our hearts and minds through Christ (Phil. 4:7). This joyful resting in Christ is marked by a disciplined thought life: keeping a common place book of all the good things, true things, just things, lovely things, etc. (Phil. 4:8). This attentiveness should include imitating mature Christians like Paul – this is the path of God’s peace (Phil. 4:9). Finally, Paul models this joyful contentment by expressing his delight in the gift he recently received from the Philippians (Phil. 4:10). He was truly thankful but certainly not desperate for the gift because he had learned to be content in every situation because Christ strengthens him (Phil. 4:11-13).

Knowing God

Contentment in God requires that you actually know the God you are content in. Christian contentment is not contentment in whatever you imagine God to be like. You can say the word “contentment” a whole bunch, but if you are not resting in who God actually is, you are not actually learning Christian contentment. So, who is this God? He is the God who is set on taking this world from glory to glory. We see this beginning in the very first chapter of the Bible. God creates something good, and then He comes back the next day and restructures it and improves it (Gen. 1). If you had been there watching, you might have been tempted to urge God to stop. If the Light was good, why make the firmament or the sun, moon, and stars? If the dry ground and seas were good, why add animals and fish? What we see in the creation week is the beginning of God’s pattern of taking good things and making them better. This is the God we rejoice in and remain calm in. This is God is not far off. He is near.

The same pattern follows through the rest of Scripture, particularly in God’s covenantal dealings with His people. The covenant with Noah grows into the glory of the covenant with Abraham, and that glory grows into the covenant with Moses, and that glory grows into the covenant with David. The glory of the covenant with David grows into the glory of the covenant under Ezra and Nehemiah, and Christ is the culmination of all the covenants in the New Covenant. Paul says that when we see the gospel unfolding and culminating in Christ, we are being “changed into the same image from glory to glory” (2 Cor. 3:18). The whole Bible is the story of Christ: “Ought not Christ to have suffered these things, and to enter into his glory? And beginning at Moses and all the prophets, he expounded unto them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself” (Lk. 24:26-27). The center of Christian contentment is the cross of Jesus, in which God broke the best thing in order to make an even better one.

How Does Covenantal Contentment Pray?

Paul says that Christian contentment is learned through prayer (Phil. 4:6). The pattern for Christian prayer is laid out in the Lord’s Prayer: “Our Father” means that we approach God as the One who made us and cares for us. He is not detached or distant. “Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” means that we entrust our stories to His story. He has a plan that He is carrying out in this world that is wonderful, glorious, and all together lovely. His Kingdom and Will are taking this world (and us) from glory to glory. It’s in that context that we are invited to ask God for our daily bread. It’s actually pretty audacious of us to think that we know what we need, but God is our Father and He wants us to ask for what we think we need. But we are to do so first of all “with thanksgiving” (Phil. 4:6). This recognizes that what we have today is already from God’s hand, and whatever God gives for our daily bread is good. Nevertheless, we do want to be learning to pray in the will of God, toward the will of God. We want to pray, as far as we can help it, for those things that we see that would work toward the coming of Christ’s Kingdom. And this is why it is important that all of our requests include a spirit of surrender: yet not my will by Thy will be done (Lk. 22:42, Js. 4:15).

Militant Christian Contentment

Christian contentment is not apathetic, not stoic. Christian contentment, grounded in the mission of God, is militant. “And the God of peace will crush Satan under your feet shortly. The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you” (Rom. 16:20). It is not merely that it’s a nice thing to have God’s peace. It is the peace of God that crushes Satan under your feet. When we pray with contentment, the promise is that the peace of God, which passes all understanding will guard our hearts and minds (Phil. 4:7). The peace of God is our armor, our fortress. Paul says elsewhere that we need to wear the gospel of peace on our feet (Eph. 6:15). The peace of Christ is what takes us into battle. You cannot fully participate in the mission of God without the peace of God. This is because the conquest of the gospel is a mission of healing and restoration, not destruction. The gospel is very disruptive to the old world, the old man, the old systems of sin, death, and the devil. But it destroys that slavery, those strongholds in order to establish freedom, joy, and peace. And therefore, you cannot be a peacemaker if you are not already a fortress of peace and contentment. One of the greatest meditations on Christian contentment is The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment by the puritan pastor Jeremiah Burroughs, who preached this series of sermons in the middle of the English Civil War.

Conclusions

At the center of our text, Paul says to meditate on the true, honest, just, pure, and virtuous things. In fact, the word means to reckon or impute. It can simply mean to think about, but this is how the word is frequently used: Abraham believed God, and He reckoned it to him as righteousness (Rom. 4:22). Paul goes on: “Now it was not written for his sake alone that it was imputed to him, but also for us. It shall be imputed to us who believe in Him who raised up Jesus our Lord from the dead…” (Rom. 4:23-24). God imputes the righteousness of Christ to us who believe in Him, and if you understand that, you begin to imitate that, which is gospel war.

 

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