Christ Church

Marriage Tune-Up

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Introduction

Many of us are getting our houses and vehicles ready for winter weather, and so why not our marriages? It’s easy to fall into ruts and habits that just seem normal when in fact they are wearing on us and harming our families in ways we do not realize. Likewise, many poor habits leave us incredibly vulnerable when trials and difficulties hit. The question is not whether you will face trials, the only question is when. Will your marriage be ready when the storms come?

The Texts

“And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him. Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as it is fit in the Lord.” Colossians 3:17-18

“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered. Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous: Not rendering evil for evil, or railing for railing: but contrariwise blessing; knowing that ye are thereunto called, that ye should inherit a blessing.” 1 Peter 3:7-9

Fellowship with One Another

John says that if we walk in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus cleanses us from all sin (1 Jn. 1:7). This is not a magical thing, as John proceeds to explain that this has everything to do with regularly confessing our sins (1 Jn. 1:9). The flip side of this is regularly forgiving those who confess their sins to us (Mt. 18:21-22, Lk. 17:4). This is the secret of Christian fellowship in general and Christian marriage in particular. Doing everything in the name of the Lord Jesus and walking in such a way as to inherit a blessing are ways of describing Christian fellowship. Being a Christian doesn’t mean you don’t sin anymore. Being a Christian means you know what to do about sin. The difference between a clean house and messy house is that in the clean house they pick up. Confession of sin and forgiveness is like taking out the trash and doing the dishes. It’s what you do. For Christians to act shocked and befuddled when sin happens is like being surprised when the two year old drops a meat ball on the floor. That’s just what two year olds do. And remember, there’s no sin that you can’t make worse by denying it, trying to hide it, lying about it or blustering or blaming for it. Just confess it and forgive it quickly. Take out the trash. And remember, practice makes perfect. So what are you practicing?

Fellowship with God & One Another

Confession and forgiveness flow from fellowship with God (Eph. 4:32) and therefore they are prerequisites for enjoying fellowship with God: “Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift” (Mt. 5:23-24). You cannot come into church to fellowship with God while being out of fellowship with other believers, especially your spouse. Paul says that when there are divisions within the church, whatever we’re doing with the bread and wine, it is not the Lord’s Supper (1 Cor. 11:18-20). Better to be 15 minutes late and actually participate in church than to arrive on-time to only pretend to. This is why Peter warns husbands to honor their wives that their prayers be not hindered (1 Pet. 3:7). It may be that Peter is saying that harsh husbands won’t know how to pray, but it seems more likely that Peter is saying that God will only listen to a man as well as he listens to his wife. The same principle should apply to any sort of fellowship gathering. Don’t pretend fellowship with others while being out of fellowship yourselves.

Fellowship & Difference

Understand deep in your bones the difference between being out of fellowship and not having the exact same opinion about everything. You must not go to bed angry at your spouse (or anyone for that matter) (Eph. 4:26), but sometimes you really do need to go to bed and get a full night’s sleep before you’ll be able to think and communicate your various convictions about which math curriculum is the most Reformed. Do not be threatened by differences of opinion or perspective. The glory of heterosexuality is the glory of difference. Some of our differences are sexual, some are personality, others are cultural or experiential. But marriage is signing up to live with someone different from you. This is a blessing if received in faith and obedience. So do not be threatened or alarmed at different perspectives. Husbands, honor your wives. Honor their opinions. Listen to their input. And wives, recognize that you signed up to follow this man’s lead. You must give your input respectfully and then, like Trumpkin, know the difference between giving counsel and taking orders.

Sweet Fellowship

Marriage should be full of sweet fellowship. Review the descriptions of Christian fellowship surrounding some of the particular commands for husbands and wives (Col. 3:12-14, 1 Pet. 3:8-9). A Christian marriage must not be characterized by bickering, arguing, raised voices, eye rolling, biting words, sarcasm, or frustration. A Christian marriage is singled out to represent Christ and His Bride. It is to be characterized by mercy, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, forbearing, forgiveness, love, like-mindedness, compassion, courtesy, and blessing. And if you say, well, we don’t argue in public (but your home is frequently a place of argument), that’s what we call hypocrisy. Your children can see the difference, and you are telling lies to them. You are telling lies about what matters, about what God sees, about what marriage is like. Not a few kids grow up in so-called Christian homes and want nothing to do with that sort of thing by the time they leave. A Christian marriage is becoming something of rarity (much to our shame). But a Christian marriage should be one of the most striking things for unbelievers to see: two different people who are strong and intelligent who deeply respect one another and love being with one another.

What You Signed Up For

Husbands, you signed up to learn how to love one woman well. This is what you are commanded to do. In order to do this you must be a student of your wife. This implies that you don’t understand her, and yet you must begin to. And very closely related to this, you must not grow bitter at her or resent her weaknesses but rather you must honor her, think highly of her, and speak graciously to her. The model for this kind of love is Jesus, and this means that studying your wife does not mean giving her everything she asks for. If Jesus gave us everything we asked for, we’d all be doomed. In this is love, not that we knew what we needed, but that God knew what we needed and sent His Son for our sins. Husbands, you must love your wives like that with joy.

Wives, your task is to submit to your own husbands and to let them love you like Christ loves the Church. Your temptation is to resent their faltering attempts to love you, rather than respecting the great difficulty it is to actually love you biblically. Recognize that there’s more than a little Hollywood in your hearts that you need to get rid of. While a real man imitating the real love of Christ is certainly courteous, it’s also deeply offensive to modern sensibilities. Do not look sideways at the other men or marriages. Look at your man and respect him in the Lord. The Lord gave you that man, and despite his weaknesses and sin, he is the one God has instructed to love you. Respect that. Honor that. And submit to him in the Lord with joy.

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Honest With God: Growth in Grace

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Introduction

We are considering the two components of growth in grace. The first is getting rid of impediments to that growth, which is a necessary thing—but preliminary. The second thing is actual growth in grace. This growth in grace is a form of life, and like all life it requires food. Our spiritual life in Christ must be nourished as much as our physical lives require nourishment.

The Text

“Elect according to the foreknowledge of God the Father, through sanctification of the Spirit, unto obedience and sprinkling of the blood of Jesus Christ: Grace unto you, and peace, be multiplied” (1 Peter 1:2).

“And with great power gave the apostles witness of the resurrection of the Lord Jesus: and great grace was upon them all” (Acts 4:33).

Summary of the Text

We must always remember that the Christian life cannot be reduced to a series of techniques. It is not a thing you can tinker with. In all of the epistles, we receive the benediction of grace and peace. In most of the epistles we receive this grace and peace from God the Father and the Lord Jesus Christ. The Spirit is usually not mentioned (although He is here in this passage). Why is that? I am following Jonathan Edwards in this, believing that this is because the grace and peace is the Holy Spirit. And so the pious wish that grace and peace be multiplied can be translated into personal terms. This too is related to honesty.

And as we see in the passage from Acts, when God visits a congregation in reformation and revival, He is poured out on everyone—and not just on the religious professionals. Sometimes it comes to the religious professionals last. One time in the nineteenth century, in Cornwall, a man named William Haslam was preaching a sermon entitled “What Think Ye of Christ.” During the sermon he was convicted of his own dry Pharisaism, and the Holy Spirit came on him. Another local minister who happened to be present stood up and shouted, “the Parson is converted!” And so we should yearn for the statement from Acts to be true of us as well—and great grace was upon them all.

Another Brief Word

As we strive for engagement with the means of grace, we want to make sure that we do not take what was said last week about the reality of remaining sin to discourage us. What is the point? As Christians we are called to the mortification of sin, and there are three kinds of mortification. The first is one that all true Christians have experienced—God has transformed our weed patch into a garden. “And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts.” (Gal. 5:24). The second is what all backslidden Christians are called to. “Mortify therefore your members which are upon the earth; fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, and covetousness, which is idolatry” (Col. 3:5). The tense of mortify here indicates that it is to be an “over and done” action. You are digging up big weeds from your garden. You are not permitted to “phase out” the big weeds. The third kind of mortification is daily and ongoing. “For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live” (Rom. 8:13). This is tending the garden also, but it is the gardener going out every morning at 5 am to pull weeds. And you always find something.

Worship

The last thing I would want to do is upbraid you over not worshiping the Lord when the only reason I could speak to you is that you are here. But I do want to remind you of the importance of weekly worship. “Not forsaking the assembling of ourselves together, as the manner of some is; but exhorting one another: and so much the more, as ye see the day approaching” (Heb. 10:25).

This is not a lecture, and you are not coming here for mere data. This is a covenant renewal service, and you are coming here to be strengthened, edified and built up. “For thou verily givest thanks well, but the other is not edified” (1 Cor. 14:17). Paul is constantly after edification. The worship service is a construction zone. There should be spiritual sawdust all over the place. The word for edified there is oikodomeo, a compound word meaning to put the roof on the house. Mark a difference between an emotional blessing, say where you get choked up, say, and edification, where you come out of the service with a wall knocked out and a load of two-by-fours on the lawn.

And remember that the service culminates in the Lord’s Supper, where all the blessings of the entire service (the music, the readings, the preaching) are sealed for us. The relationship between the sermon and the sacrament is not that of paired items that complement each other, like wine and cheese, or ham and eggs. Rather the relationship of preaching (and the whole service) is like cooking and the Lord’s Supper is like . . .  eating. Services with great preaching and no sacrament are like watching celebrity chefs on television. Services with little mini-sermons (for all the mini-Christians) and Big Eucharist are like some kind of raw foods thing. Here’s your bag of carrots.

Read the Word

We are Christians who worship God the Father through the Word. As people of the Word, we are people of the Word. We are to be steeped in the Scriptures. Our lives are to marinate in it.

Consider what the Word says about our relationship to the Word. “And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart” (Deut. 6:6). The king was required to copy out God’s law by hand for himself (Dt. 17:18-19). He was to have this Word so that he might learn to fear God. “Thy word have I hid in mine heart, that I might not sin against thee” (Ps. 119:11). Indeed, for a robust understanding of the role of Scripture, meditate on all of Psalm 119. “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby” (1 Pet. 2:2). When the Spirit was poured out on the day of Pentecost, one of the results was that the people dedicated themselves to the apostles teaching (Acts 2:42).

This is why, incidentally, the Bible Reading Challenge has been such a good thing. Read the Word.

And Pray

The prayers we offer up together on the Lord’s Day are the prayers of this congregation. They are not meant to replace your own prayers. Rather, they help to train and shape your prayers.

“Pray without ceasing” (1 Thess. 5:17). “Brethren, pray for us” (1 Thess. 5:25). “Is any among you afflicted? let him pray. Is any merry? let him sing psalms” (Jas. 5:13).

For many Christians, private prayer is a great trouble spot. So let me conclude with two bits of counsel on learning how to pray. First, don’t be too proud to learn how to pray by learning to pray the Lord’s Prayer. Let Jesus teach you. That’s what that prayer is for. And second, start taking risks by asking for specific things. That way you will know if the prayer is answered, right?

And don’t forget to offer it all in the name of Jesus.

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God’s Sure Promises

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The Text: 2 Peter 1:1-4

 

1. Peter’s Confidence

“And so we have the prophetic word confirmed, which you do well to heed as a light that shines in a dark place, until the day dawns and the morning star rises in your hearts” ( 2 Peter 1:19).

2. Sense of Urgency

“knowing that shortly I must put off my tent, just as our Lord Jesus Christ showed me”  (2 Peter 1:14)

3. What is coming shortly?

 

New Heaven and New Earth

“For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth;

And the former shall not be remembered or come to mind.

But be glad and rejoice forever in what I create;

For behold, I create Jerusalem as a rejoicing,

And her people a joy.  Isaiah 65:25

 

End of the Age

But he who endures to the end shall be saved.  And this gospel of the kingdom will be preached in all the world as a witness to all the nations, and then the end will come.  Matthew 24:14

 

The Day of the Lord

But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night, in which the heavens will pass away with a great noise, and the elements will melt with fervent heat; both the earth and the works that are in it will be burned up.  2 Peter 3:10

 

4. What is Peter’s exhortation based on this urgency?

“For I know their works and their thoughts. It shall be that I will gather all nations and tongues; and they shall come and see My glory.  I will set a sign among them; and those among them who escape I will send to the nations: to Tarshish and Pul and Lud, who draw the bow, and Tubal and Javan, to the coastlands afar off who have not heard My fame nor seen My glory. And they shall declare My glory among the Gentiles.  Then they shall bring all your brethren for an offering to the Lord out of all nations, on horses and in chariots and in litters, on mules and on camels, to My holy mountain Jerusalem,” says the Lord, “as the children of Israel bring an offering in a clean vessel into the house of the Lord.  And I will also take some of them for priests and Levites,” says the Lord.  Isaiah 66:18-21

 

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The Shepherd: Humble and Glorious

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Text: 1 Peter 5:1-14

Introduction

As Peter has done throughout the letter, he calls Christians to look to Christ, to be like Christ, to act like Christ. In this final chapter, he does this again, and we are to be like Jesus the Shepherd––humble and glorious. To imitate the Shepherd, Peter gives two primary exhortations. The elders are to shepherd the flock of God (vs. 1-4), and the flock of God is to resist the devil who is a roaring lion (vs. 8-9). How are church leaders to shepherd the flock and how is the flock to resist this lion? The answer lies in the middle verses, “Humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time” (vs. 6). As the church follows our Chief Shepherd, we follow him both into his humility and into his glory.

Shepherd the Flock (vs. 1-4)

Peter first exhorts the elders as a fellow elder to shepherd the flock of God like the Chief Shepherd Jesus. Peter has received a special commission from Jesus to shepherd his people and now relays this same commission to the elders of the churches in Pontus, Galatia, Cappadoceia, Asia, Bithynia, Moscow.

Peter lists three negatives and three positives for how elders are to oversee the flock of God. 1) Not by compulsion (forced or fearful), but willingly. 2) Not for dishonest gain (greedy), but eagerly. 3) Not lording your authority over others like normal rulers (might makes right), but being an example like the Chief Shepherd.

How did Jesus treat his flock? “Behold the LORD God shall  come with a strong hand and his arm shall rule for him…He will feed his flock like a shepherd; he will gather the lambs with his arm, and carry them in his bosom, and gently lead those who are with young” (Isaiah 40:10-11). Jesus not only cares for his sheep but he fights against all who may harm his sheep (Ez. 34). Ezekiel charged the spiritual leaders of his day of being false shepherds who, instead of providing food for the sheep, ate the sheep for their own food, and wore their wool. A true leader puts himself in between his people and the danger. “I am the good Shepherd,” Jesus said, “The good Shepherd gives himself for his sheep” (Jn. 10:11). Peter now turns to the flock and exhorts them to be shepherded like this.

Humble and Exalted (vs. 5-7)

“Likewise you younger people, submit yourselves to the elders.” An elder is one in authority and an elder is one under authority. If the sheep are not obeying the under-shepherds, then these shepherds need to look whether they are obeying their Chief Shepherd. Are you modeling humble submission?

Yes, everyone should be submissive to one another and be clothed with humility. This humility is a good thing because God opposes those who are not clothed with humility but gives grace to the humble. Is there anything more catastrophic than the omnipotent God opposing you? “Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God that he may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon him, for he cares for you.” You humble yourself at the rim of the Grand Canyon or under the arms of the Milky Way galaxy or when you rightly contemplate God. Humility sees that God is God, and I am not. Humble yourselves under the hand of God, so that His hand may exalt you. We don’t humble ourselves for humility’s sake, but so that we can be given glory. God tells us how to achieve glory, and it’s through humility. Will you trust God and his humble way to glory?

Resist the Lion (vs. 8-9)

Peter gives a sobering caution––there’s a man-eating lion prowling your city. Though you may not see the lion, you hear him roaring. You may not see the devil, but you see the carcasses of his victims. And so be sober, be vigilant, resist the lion––you flock of sheep.

But what hope do sheep have against a lion? Only a humble faith. Resist the roaring lion, steadfast in the faith. James adds, “Resist the Devil and he will flee from you” (Js. 4:7). A young boy straight from the sheep pasture challenged a roaring giant and remained steadfast in his faith (1 Sam. 17:37). David had the humility to not look to his own strength or Goliath’s but to the Lord’s. He knew that the battle is the Lord’s, and so was steadfast. You may look like a boy versus a giant or a sheep against a lion, but that’s the story God loves to tell.

To Him be Glory and Dominion (vs. 10-11)

What was Jesus doing in his suffering and death on the cross? He was resisting! He was breaking the teeth of the lion, casting down the giant, crushing the head of the serpent, conquering the devil. In humble submission, he triumphed. The Shepherd became as a lamb to save his flock so that his sheep could have a Shepherd’s strength. Believe this. Humble yourself to this glorious truth. Remain steadfast in your faith.

What happens when you do? “The God of all grace, who called us into his eternal glory by Christ Jesus after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strengthen and settle you. To Him be the glory and dominion forever and ever. Amen.”

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God’s Math

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Sermon Text: 1 Peter 4:12-19

The Problem of Pain is a well known booklet written by C. S. Lewis making the argument for why a good God would allow pain in His universe.  One aspect of his argument is our culture’s confusion between kindness and love.  We prize kindness with the view that we would prefer a God with more of a benign “grandfatherly” kindness over a father’s disciplinary love.  The difference is mainly one of outcome.  The former is seen as just watching over us to keep us content and happy, the latter is focused on making us good using whatever means are necessary to achieve that benefit.  Lewis in his chapter on God’s Divine Goodness puts it this way:

“When we want to be something other than the thing God wants us to be, we must be wanting what, in fact, will not make us happy.”

Given how much Peter deals with existing and anticipated suffering in his letters, approaching this with the right calculus is extremely important.  I’ve labeled it using God’s new math.

How was Peter qualified to teach on this subject?

From verse 15, what is the one way that we are not supposed to suffer?

What Fiery Trial is Peter referencing in verse 12?

What is the timing of Peter’s letter?

How does Nero fit in?

What was the nature of the suffering/persecution? 

What does “his glory revealed” mean in verse 13?

What time stamp does Jesus give his disciples in Luke 9:23-27 and Matthew 16:24-28 related to his coming glory?

How does this coming in glory relate to Jesus’ prophecy in Matthew 24?

How was God’s glory revealed in the judgement of Pharaoh?

What is the connection between Christ’s suffering and our own in verses 13, 14, and 16?

What did Jesus accomplish in His suffering?

What is necessary if the Father is going to successfully make us like Jesus?

How are we to process God’s judgment starting with us in verses 17-19? 

Who actually goes first: us or God?

Who is clearly in control of our suffering?

What is the role of the church in the midst of persecution?

How does God’s Math apply to us in our time?

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