Ephesians Archives - Page 14 of 17

Why Children Matter #1

Christ Church on November 3, 2013

Q&A

Introduction

A family is a divinely-ordained community. It is a set of defined relationships, with obligations and privileges assigned by God accordingly. It is not an arbitrary collection of individuals, and it is not something that we get to define. God created the family—it was not invented by us in the first place, and so we do not get to reinvent it. For this reason, parents must beware of treating the family as an “assemblage” that results from “techniques” developed by “experts.”

Young parents should therefore come to the Scriptures with a true hunger and openness. This is particularly true of those young parents who didn’t see a good model growing up—God is the God of new beginnings. He breaks the cycle, blessing to a thousand generations, and cutting off disasters after three or four. Be encouraged.

The Text

“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children” (Eph. 5:1, ESV ).

“The Lord thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with singing” (Zeph. 3:17 ).

Summary of the Text

The juxtaposition of these two passages is intended to make the foundational point that, as God treats us as His children, so also we, in imitating Him, must seek to be like Him in our treatment of our own children. As He deals with us, so also must we deal with our own children.

God has created us as reflective and imitative creatures. We become like what we worship. Idolaters do this (Ps. 115:4-8 ), and worshipers of the true God do it (2 Cor. 3:18 ). This is the way human beings are. There are few places where the ramifications of this are as important as they are in child-rearing.

In the Zephaniah passage, consider first that the Lord our God is mighty. You are much stronger than your children. But His might is deployed for the good of His people, for their salvation, and not for their suffocation. Your purpose is to be used as the instrument of your children’s salvation. You are not the ground of that salvation, but you are an appointed instrument. You obviously cannot be saving grace, but you are commanded to imitate it, and to facilitate it.

When the mighty God intervened to save, He did so at great cost to Himself. Jesus, when He took the loaf of bread that represented His broken body, He began by giving thanks. When Jesus went to the cross, He did so for the joy that was set before Him (Heb. 12:2 ). The sacrifices that you will make for your children should therefore be something you sing over. You are not just to sing when they are being adorable, asleep in the crib. Life is messier than that, and the whole thing should be met with a song. The delight we are imitating here is not “unrealistic.” It takes account of the world as it is, and rejoices still.

A Garden of Grace

When God created us, He placed us in a garden full of delights, and with just one prohibition in the middle of the garden. Nothing was prohibited out in the world, and only one thing was prohibited in the garden. A severe penalty was attached to that one prohibition, but then God saw to it that when the restriction was disobeyed by our first parents, the severest blow of retaliation would fall upon Himself. What kind of God is this?

So the environment of your home is grace. All that you have is theirs. There are standards within this—grace is not an amorphous, gelatinous mass. Grace has a backbone. Grace is a vertebrate. And yet when the standards are broken, the heaviest sacrifices in the work of restoration are made by the guardians of grace—not the enforcers of law, not the pointers of fingers, not the parental accusers, and not the quiver in the voice of parental self-pity.

A garden of grace can contain a tree of law. A garden of law cannot contain a tree of grace. Whatever you do, an attempted tree of grace there will turn into a tree of reward, a tree of merit, a tree of earnings.

Discipline as Structured Delight

We have a tendency—when in the grip of our own unguided wisdom—to get everything exactly backwards. We think that the gold sanctifies the temple (Matt. 23:17 ). We think that man was created so that there would be somebody around to keep the sabbath (Mark 2:27 ). We think that goat milk was created so that we would have something to cook the young goats in (Dt. 14:21 ).

But discipline is directed toward an end; it is teleological. And no discipline seems pleasant at the time, but the glory of discipline is found in the harvest (Heb. 12:11 ). Discipline and fruition occupy time, just like your children do. Bringing children up is not abstract bookkeeping, but is rather a story—from planting to harvest. Hardship in a story is grace. Hardship without a story is just pain.

Three L’s

When it comes to Christian living, there are three l’s to choose from. There is legalism, there is license, and there is liberty. In the home, legalism occurs when parents try to establish “traditional values” or a “disciplined atmosphere” on their own authority, or in their own name. Strictness becomes the central standard, and parental law is central. License happens when it turns out that legalism involves a lot of work, and there is not a very good return on it. And so parenting turns into a long stream of excuses and lame theories about the ineffectualness of spanking. If you have told 28 people this week that “he didn’t get his nap today,” then perhaps you should reevaluate.

Liberty is not some middle position between these two—it is another thing entirely. Liberty is stricter than legalism, and liberty is freer than license. Liberty—purchased for us by Christ on the cross—lines us up with how God made the world. None of our shifts or evasions can do that for us. The righteousness of liberty outdoes the Pharisees (Matt. 5:20 ), and the joy of liberty outdoes the libertine.

Why Children Matter

We will address this in much greater detail in the conclusion to this series, but it will be helpful for us to take a look at where we are going. Children matter because as creatures they bear the image of God, as sinners that image is defaced in them, and as saints that image is being restored in them.

By creating the human race in one fertile man and woman, God was declaring that His image was going to grow and mature over the course of generations. When we fell into sin, the curse of our loss was extended over generations. And now that the promised seed of the woman has come, we are given the opportunity to bring up our children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4 ). This is part of what it means to put off the old man, and to put on the new (Eph. 4:20-24 ). God is after a lineage.

Blessed with Every Blessing (Reformation Sunday 2013)

Joe Harby on October 27, 2013

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Introduction

Ephesians is Paul’s greatest work on the church, the body and bride of Christ. It was John Calvin’s favorite and F.F. Bruce regarded it as ‘the quintessence of Paulinism’ because it ‘in large measure sums up the leading themes of the Pauline letters, and sets forth the cosmic implications of Paul’s ministry to the Gentiles.’ Ephesians bears strong resemblance to Colossians and was likely written at the same time while Paul was in prison in Rome (Acts 28:30) and sent by the hand of Tychicus (Eph. 6:21-22; Col. 4:7-9). While the sufficiency of Christ’s work is central to Colossians, Ephesians is dedicated to Paul’s message that God’s new society, the Church, is a manifestation of the cosmic reconciliation and unity of Christ’s work proclaimed in the gospel. This is why Paul always moves from the indicative to the imperative, rooting what we are called to do in the firm ground of what Christ has already done. The very structure of Ephesians proclaims the God-centeredness of Paul’s theology

The Gift of the Father (vs.1-6)

The Father gives every blessing that belongs to the Spirit in the person of His beloved Son. To speak of the Father as the source of every blessing is to immediately draw attention to the procession and work of the Son and the Spirit. They are the glory of the Father ( John 17:6-10, 20-24). The Father gives every blessing that belongs to the Spirit in the person of His beloved Son. To speak of the Father as the source of every blessing is to immediately draw attention to the procession and work of the Son and the Spirit. They are the glory of the Father ( John 17:6-10, 20-24). The Father’s gift of Himself to His Son and to those who are “in Him” through the gift of the Spirit is His glory. This brings Jesus’ words to his disciples into sharp focus: “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.” Why is it glorious to give our lives away? Because we bear the image of the One whose glory is to be perfectly generous with His life. Notice how election and predestination are grounded in the Father’s generosity: (vs. 4) He chose us to be holy and blameless, (vs. 5) He predestined us for adoption as sons, and both are to the praise of his glorious grace (vs. 6).

Reconciled by the Son (vs. 7-12)

The purpose of the Father’s gift of every blessing is headed toward an ultimate goal: The summing up of all things in Christ. Not only are redemption and the forgiveness of sins given to us in Christ, but He is the revelation and fulfillment of the Father’s plan to sum up/reconcile all things in Him whether on earth or in heaven. Since our first parents sin in Genesis, death has meant that everything falls apart: Our relationships, our loves, our bodies, our work, and our world. This is what the exile of death means. Yeats captures this futility well: “Turning and turning in the widening gyre / The falcon cannot hear the falconer; / Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold; / Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world, / The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere / The ceremony of innocence is drowned.” The mystery of his will (vs. 9), which has now been made known to us, is the Father’s kind intention to “sum up” and put right all of the separation, alienation, and exile of our sin. But in order for that to take place, Jesus had to be pulled apart that we might be healed (Is. 53:5). Colossians 1:19-22 brings all of these elements together: “For in him all the fullness of God was pleased to dwell, and through him to reconcile to himself all things, whether on earth or in heaven, making peace by the blood of his cross. And you, who once were alienated and hostile in mind, doing evil deeds, he has now reconciled in his body of flesh by his death, in order to present you holy and blameless and above reproach before him.”

Sealed by the Spirit (vs. 13-14)

The first sign of this cosmic reconciliation is the gift of the Spirit who comes as a seal and a pledge of Christ’s work. In the Greco-Roman world a seal was a mark of ownership that implied a promise of protection. A master would brand his possessions with his seal to protect them from theft. In the OT, God places a sign on his people to distinguish them as His possession and protect them from destruction (Ezek. 9:4-6). In the same way, the Spirit is given to mark us as God’s inheritance (vs. 11) and to give us confidence that nothing can separate us from him (Rom. 8:31-39). At the same time, the Spirit is also a pledge or guarantee of our inheritance. He is the “down payment” who gives us a foretaste of the New Creation (2 Cor. 5:17) and who is the promise that we will obtain full possession of it.

Freedom and the Reformation

The mind-blowing truth of this opening section of Ephesians is that God has chosen us as His inheritance and He has given Himself to us as our inheritance. The freeness of God’s gift by which we are chosen, called, justified, sanctified and glorified (Rom. 8:28-30) is the gift of God Himself. All of it is found in Christ and all of it is a gift of free grace (Eph. 2:8-10). That’s the good news of the Gospel and the heart of the Reformation. Martin Luther beautifully expresses in The Freedom of the Christian Man:

“Christ, that rich and pious husband, takes as a wife a needy and impious harlot, redeeming her from all her evils, and supplying her with all his good things. It is impossible now that her sins should destroy her, since they have been laid upon Christ and swallowed up in Him, and since she has in her husband Christ a righteousness which she may claim as her own, and which she can set up with confidence against all her sins, against death and hell, saying: “If I have sinned, my Christ, in whom I believe, has not sinned; all mine is His, and all His is mine;” as it is written, “My beloved is mine, and I am his. (Cant. ii. 16.) This is what Paul says: “Thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ;” victory over sin and death.”

The free and generous work of the three persons of the Trinity is the sole basis for our justification, our sanctification and the certainty of our glorification. It is the ground of our confidence (Heb. 10:19) and our boasting (1 Cor. 1:31), and as Luther noted, our freedom (Gal. 5:13). We must cherish it and defend it against all attacks (Gal. 5:1).

Gospel Presence III: The Armor of God

Joe Harby on April 14, 2013

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In Christ

You have heard it pointed out that, even though it is important to have Jesus in your heart, the New Testament speaks more often of us being in Jesus. And the book of Ephesians easily illustrates this point, where, in six short chapters, the phrase “in Jesus” or “in Christ” or some equivalent is used over thirty times. Clearly Paul wanted us to understand this very important concept. We are in Jesus. But we need to keep in mind this emphasis on being in Christ as we read the rest of the book.

Chapter One: The Body

Paul starts right off with a strong focus on our position in Christ. Everything is happening in Christ. But he is in the heavenly places. How can any of this be any good to us, when he is so far from us? Paul tells us that there was a mystery that God planned from the beginning, that at the right time God would gather all things together by bringing them into Jesus. This happened at the incarnation, when God the Son became a man and took on a body. By taking on a body and becoming our brother, he united himself to us (Heb. 2:11).

Chapter Two and Three: The Mystery

Remember that Paul said the incarnation was a mystery, which God had planned from the beginning as a way of bringing together heaven and earth. Before the coming of Jesus, the way to God was only hinted at through the temple sacrifices. And so all of the worship of God, all the laws and regulations of the Old Testament, stressed the distance between God and man. One of the ways that this was illustrated was by the separation between Israel and the Gentiles. But this distance was destroyed by Jesus. In particular, the distance between Jew and Gentile, between heaven and earth, was destroyed by a body. And that body is the mystery that the world has been waiting for (3:3-6). So the reconciliation of Jew to Gentile was a sub-mystery, a junior mystery, which was intended to show us all the larger mystery, the great mystery of the reconciliation of God and man in Jesus.

Chapter Four and Five: Body Life

Ephesians 4 is about unity, one body (4:4-6). This is the one body of Jesus – which doesn’t just represent, but actually, through the mystery of the Gospel, is the meeting point of God and man, meaning it is our redemption. It is where we are reconciled to God. This is all a profound theological point. But it is also a very practical point. Paul teaches that if we are the body of Christ, then we need to act like it.

Corporate life and gifts (4:11-13, cf. 1 Cor. 12). Notice that this is all to serve the one body of Christ and that it is leading us to become one perfect man. Who is that perfect man? Christ. We are growing up into this man. We think of the new man individually. And we all have to do this as individuals. But the new man that we are putting on is something that is done in this corporate community. We are putting on the man that God is making out of the church, the man who has been being described throughout this book.

This all means that you don’t grow in sanctification on your lonesome. You grow corporately as the Gospel shapes you. And you get shaped in community. In all the relationships that Paul describes here – your marriage (5:22-33), your job (6:5-9), your parents and your kids (6:1-4), your fellow Christians (those you share a baptism with 4:1-6), the officers of the church (4:11-16).

Chapter Six: The Aristea of God

And notice the last thing that Paul tells this body, this new man, to do (6:10-20). We usually read this passage as individuals. But Paul is speaking about arming this corporate body, this new man – the church militant. When we read this as individuals, we set our sights too low. We think of putting on the armor of God as a matter of being diligent about our quiet times. But Paul is talking about us as the body of Christ being on the march here in Moscow.

We are the presence of Christ here in Moscow. We are the presence of this mystery, the Gospel, here on the Palouse. And the way we live out our marriages, our friendships, our relationships with our employers and employees – this is the presence of Christ here, the aroma of life. And each of these relationships is an opportunity to advance his kingdom here, to put on the armor of God as a collective body and to declare this mystery to the watching world.

Mechanics of Fatherhood (Father Hunger 8)

Joe Harby on May 6, 2012

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Introduction

In this series, we have been emphasizing the gospel of free forgiveness, and we have also noted that God is the kind of Father we want to become. This means that perfect love casts out fear—we are liberated by the blood of Christ to a life of imitation. Always remember that being precedes doing, and that what we are called to believe (really believe) is the foundation of what we are called to do. A Christian pulpit must always proclaim Jesus, but also always remember that Jesus has hands and feet. Not only that, but they are pierced hands and feet, sacrificial hands and feet. We are called to imitate Him. In that spirit then, as we come now to the conclusion . . .

The Texts

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” (Col. 3:21).

Summary of the Text

Putting these two texts together, we see two basic realities. The first is that fathers are called to not provoke their children to anger because that would result in the children being discouraged in their Christian walk. Christian fathers can have that effect. The second is that fathers are to provide a life of nurture and admonition, which consists of a full and robust Christian upbringing.

Twenty-One Words for Fathers

As we consider 21 principles for fathers to remember, you will see that we have touched on some of them already. But here they all are in one place. These are the mechanics of fatherhood . . .

Love Jesus Christ, and express that love by worshiping His Father in the power of the Spirit, and do this as a gathered family on the Lord’s Day. Worship is a big deal. God honors those who honor Him (1 Sam. 2:30).
Love your children by loving their mother. Love their mother by loving her children. This is the central way the gospel will be proclaimed in your home (Eph. 5:25).
Teach them to love the standard, which is not the same thing as merely requiring them to conform to the standard (for a time). This is a function of heart loyalty (Prov. 23:26), and you teach them to love the standard (and to be loyal to you) by loving the standard yourself (and being loyal to them).
Your garden of yes should have a tree of no in it, and not the other way around (Gen. 2:16). God is not a skinflint, and you should not paint Him as being one. In Christ, all the promises are yes and amen (2 Cor. 1:20). Resemble the God you serve.
Give them the Torah, not the Talmud (Matt. 22:40). The law of God is simple to understand, and can be easily summarized. If your house rules are convoluted and Byzantine, then you have a problem. I well remember my father’s summary of what was expected of us—“no disobedience, no lying, and no disrespecting your mother.” See? Life is good.
Acknowledge your children all need to be converted (Eph. 2:3), but do not do this with unequal weights and measures. If you apply impossible standards to your children, you are causing them to stumble. Beware of millstones as you bring them to Christ (Matt. 18:6).
Listen to them. They are people. It is possible to converse with them (Prov. 18:13).
Their food, shelter, and clothing take precedence over your toys (Ex. 21:10).
Remember their frame (Ps. 103:14). Don’t skip naps, keep them up until 11:30, withhold a real dinner, and then paddle them for falling apart. Someone should paddle you for pulling them apart.
Eat together and not just as refueling measure. This is how families become companions. The liberality that results in table fellowship is a big deal in Scripture (Prov. 11:25), so why withhold it from your family? If half your meals are eaten over the sink, then take stock of your situation.
Respect your sons and love your daughters (Eph. 5: 33, 25). They are different, and those differences should be honored. This obviously does not mean you don’t have to love your sons or respect your daughters, but it does tell you which way to lean.
Tell stories together. Listen to stories together. The gospel is a story (1 Cor. 15:3ff), and we come to know one another truly as we come to know the genre. By telling stories you come to realize that you are in one.
Provide your children with a Christian education (Eph. 6:4). And it must be a true education, filled with life and laughter. The classroom is not a cauldron (Dt. 14:21).
You should want a home full of Scripture, a home full of joy, a home full of music (Eph. 5:19; Col. 3:16). Godly child-rearing is Spirit-filled, and it cannot be Spirit-filled without becoming a musical.
Give your children quantity time, and don’t try to sub in the guilt salve of so-called “quality time” (Dt. 6:4-9).
Discipline should be a gift, not a grabbing. If you are retaliating against your children, then the whole thing isself-serving (Gal. 6:1).
Discipline should be judicious, and not an occasion for you to jump to conclusions (Prov. 18:17). Sometimes kids can invite the injustice, and they bear the weight of it if they do, but fathers should fight to maintain justice in the home. Playing favorites with your children, incidentally, invites such injustice.
The pain of discipline should be acute, not chronic. The Bible says that discipline should be painful (Heb. 12:11), but not the pain of a dull ache week after week. Heartache is not discipline.
The point of discipline is restored fellowship (Heb. 12:11), not retribution. There is a difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline is correction, and can cease when correction is accomplished. You don’t make all your children spend the same amount of time in the tub for the sake of “equality.”
Divided discipline is dangerous. Father and mother are in this together. Scripture requires them to be honored together (Ex. 20:12), and so they should work together. Don’t allow your children to apply the tactic of “divide and conquer.”
Prepare them for independence (Gen. 2:24). Do not make the mistake of indulging sin when it is little and cute, and then trying to crack down on it later, when things start to look more serious.

And again, remember that Jesus is always the point.

Honoring Fathers (Father Hunger 7)

Joe Harby on April 29, 2012

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Introduction

Human flourishing depends in large measure on the faithfulness and happiness of families, and this depends, in its turn, on the honor rendered to the parents by the children. This is, the apostle Paul tells us, the first commandment with a promise. The promise originally applied to the land of Canaan, as it was spoken here at Sinai. The apostle Paul speaks the same words from the heavenly Mt. Zion, and he says that the words of promise apply to the entire earth—whether Ephesus, or New York, or Beijing. So what does it mean?

The Texts

“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Ex. 20:12).

“Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth” (Eph. 6:2-3).

Summary of the Texts

The Ten Words given at Mt. Sinai are God’s summary of His entire law, just as the two greatest commandments (love God and love your neighbor) are a summary. The Ten Word summarize the whole, and the Two Words summarize the ten.

Honor must be shown, and it must be shown to both father and mother (Ex. 20:12). The reason that is given is so that those who show this honor might have a long life in the land that God was giving them (v. 12). This was spoken to Jewish children at Mt. Sinai. Centuries later, the apostle repeats the command, only this time to Gentile children in Ephesus (Eph. 6:2). He points out that the command is the first one with a promise (v. 2), and he reiterates the promise—extending it to the whole earth. We are no longer limited to the land of Canaan, but this promise now applies to any place where Christians might live.

A Brief Word to Mothers

There are two things that need to be said as an aside to mothers. First, you may have noticed that the text this morning is just as insistent upon the honoring of mothers as it is of fathers. So why this long series on father hunger? The answer has to do with how men and women sin differently, about which more in a minute. It is not that mothers are unimportant, or that a series of messages for them would be out of place. A doctor might talk to you for a long time about the importance of Vitamin D, and you should not conclude from this talk that he hates Vitamin E. We can’t talk about everything all the time, and in our generation, in this moment, we need a particular focus on fathers, a particular word to fathers.

But while we are here, the second thing is that women can’t compensate for father hunger by being more motherly. Women are gravity, and men are centrifugal force. Women cluster, and men escape. Women overcommit and men under commit. Women are soft and men are hard. This is why we don’t have a comparable phenomenon like “mother hunger.”We have mother troubles—frequently—but it is a different ball game. If men under engage and women over engage, they can both key off the sins of the other sex, which then makes them double down in their own problems.

Tangible Honor

As we consider this, always remember that honor must start in the heart, but if it ends there, it isn’t honor. Honor must be expressed through words, symbols, actions, or gestures. Honor is among the most incarnational of the virtues. It must have feet and hands.

Teaching the Showing of Honor

A father can teach and lead his children in how to show him honor, and the first thing to recognize is that this must be done because he seeks the blessing for his children that this command promises. He doesn’t need the honor himself, he is not being an honor-hound. He is seeking the blessing of having the kind of children who show honor, along with the subsequent blessings that come from that. If the father is being a needy bucket, and he demands honor in order to fill up his internal ache, then he will suffocate his children with intolerable demands. There is a kind of seeking honor that is destructive (John 5:44).

The first rule of teaching something is that you must demonstrate that you know how to do it yourself. You teach your children to honor you by showing them how you honor their grandparents. If your parents are alive, show them in real time. If your parents are deceased, then honor them in the telling of stories. All of you fathers have fathers. Model what you would like your children to grow up into.

Showing Honor

Small children show honor through cheerful obedience (Eph. 6:1-4). Not only must children obey, but they must do so “as unto the Lord.”This means that obedience must be quick, it must be heart-felt, it must be cheerful, it must be immediate. How would you respond if Jesus Himself asked you to do whatever it is? You might be tempted to say that Jesus would never ask you to stay inside on a Saturday morning to clean your bedroom . . . oh, but He did.

The duty of obedience passes as children grow, but the duty of honor never does. The Lord Jesus teaches us that grown children with financial resources have a duty to honor their parents that way (Mark 7:10-13).

Honor Knits Generations Together

We are disciples of Jesus in the first instance. He tells us that we have to hate father and mother (Luke 14:26), and the account in Matthew explains this as not loving father or mother more than we love Jesus Christ (Matt. 10:37). If we love Jesus Christ above all things, then we are in fellowship with the source of all the love in the universe. If we refuse to do so, then it doesn’t matter what we make into our idol, we are not in fellowship with the source of all love. And if we are not in fellowship with that love, then even if you idolize your father, he will be get less honor, respect, and love than if he were number two.

So we are called to Christian honor, honor rendered as part of our discipleship. This is not honor rendered blindly in a tribal, patriarchal way. As intelligent honor, it is used by God to knit each generation to the next one.