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How to Raise Christian Kids

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INTRODUCTION

We have had a couple of sermons on how to be a Christian kid as of late. And this sermon is designed to stay in a similar vein while coming at the matter from the opposite end. The kids among us need to know that they are Christian kids and what to do about that. Likewise, parents need to know their kids are Christians and how to raise them as such.

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Ephesians 6:4

Paul tells fathers that they must not provoke their children to anger. Instead, they must go in the other direct entirely. That direction involves them raising their children in both nurture and admonition. But not just any nurture and admonition: the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

KNOW 

The first thing necessary in order to raise children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is to know that they are in it. That word “in” is an important preposition. It refers to location. Where are your kids, Christians? Well, they are in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. They are not outside of it. They are not strangers, aliens, and exiles. Paul does not address them as such. This truth, however, of the insider status of the Christian’s children is not without controversy in our times. So, we need to examine the covenantal foundations of such a claim.

When God covenanted to Abraham in Genesis 17:7, He did only swear an oath of eternal life to the man Abraham. He also swore this oath to his household: “And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and to thy seed after thee.” God wanted His sworn oath to Abraham and his children to be so plain, He established a sign of that covenant: “This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised. And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you” (Genesis 17:10-11).

If we were to ask Abraham, “When God covenanted to be God to you and to bless you, were your children included as members of that covenant promise?” His answer would clearly be, “Why yes, indeed, they were.”

So it is with us, who are children of Abraham. As Paul says, our children are holy (1 Corinthians 7:14). They have been set apart into the realm of the holy people of God.

FAITH

What are we to do given this kind covenant grace of God? That is a good question, and the answer is quite plain: We are to believe His promise. We are the just ones. And the just shall live by faith. Examples of this parental faith abound.

Consider Job, who sacrificed for his children. He did so by faith, looking for the blessing of God on his household. Then, there is Joshua, who announced, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” This was not Joshua presuming upon God, as if he assumed God would do something for him and his household that God had not promised. No, Joshua had a promise. And it was not a special and individual promise that God made only to Joshua. Joshua was living by faith in the covenant promises God made to his father Abraham and his seed. We see that this covenant promise extends to Gentiles in the new covenant as Paul and Silas declared to the Philippian jailer, “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved, and thy house” (Acts 16:31).

This is the faith we exercise in covenant baptism vows when asked, ” Do you trust in God’s covenant promises on his/her behalf, and do you look in faith to the Lord Jesus Christ for his/her salvation, as you do for your own?

This faith in God’s promises must continually be exercised. We do not only exercise it once. And for this reason, we must have the fuel for this faith, namely the word of God.

RAISE

It has been wisely said, “We are saved by faith alone, but the faith that saves is never alone.” So it is with raising Christian kids. Imagine James stepping in at this point and saying, “Show me your parenting faith without works, and I will show you my parenting faith by my paddling of the hind parts.”

There are three directives embedded in the call to raise children in the Lord. First, fathers must not provoke their children to wrath. Quite simply, don’t frustrate them. Don’t be a wet blanket on their joy. This kind of thing happens when fathers forget the covenant promise God has made to them and their household. 

Second, fathers must raise children in the nurture of the Lord. This means that fathers must nourish their children, teach them, show them the way. If you don’t feed them, they will be hungry. This takes time and effort, and grace abounding. So this is when you look to God for the manifestation of that glorious promise that God will “turn the hearts of fathers to the children, and the heart of children to their fathers” (Malachi 4:6).

Third, fathers must raise children in the admonition of the Lord. That means that fathers must correct their children. They must not only teach them what to do. But they must teach them what not to do, what to avoid. 

All of this teaching and correction must not be the father’s, although he is the one who must do it. But the training itself must be the Lord’s. This we can do because He has set His face toward them to bless them to a thousand generations.

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Honesty, Cheating, & Lies (Workbench of Practical Christianity) (King’s Cross)

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INTRODUCTION

Satan is the “father of lies,” and this why those under his sway speak lies and murder with their words and deeds (Jn. 8:44). This is also why Christians are frequently attacked here by the Devil, just like the woman in the Garden in the beginning. The fundamental lie is about the goodness of God and His Word. But if we repudiate that lie, we will hate all other lies and love the truth. 

The Text: “Wherefore putting away lying, speak every man truth with his neighbor: for we are members of one another” (Eph. 4:25). 

WSC Q. 77 What is required in the Ninth Commandment? The ninth commandment requireth the maintaining and promoting of truth between man and man, and of our own and our neighbors’ good name, especially in witness-bearing.

WSC Q. 78 What is forbidden in the ninth commandment? The ninth commandment forbiddeth whatsoever is prejudicial to truth, or injurious to our own or our neighbor’s good name. 

Heidelberg. Q 112 What is required in the ninth commandment? That I do not bear false witness against anyone, twist anyone’s words, be a gossip or a slanderer, or condemn anyone lightly without a hearing. Rather I am required to avoid, under penalty of God’s wrath, all lying and deceit as the works of the devil himself. In judicial and all other matters I am to love the truth, and to speak and confess it honestly. Indeed, insofar as I am able, I am to defend and promote my neighbor’s good name.

INTENTIONS & CONTEXT MATTERS

Whenever we come to this subject there are Christians with overly tender consciences tempted to think that if they told someone it was raining outside one time (because they thought it was) and then they went outside and it wasn’t, they’ve lied. But we really do need to make distinctions between lying and being mistaken (which we should be ready and willing to correct as necessary), as well as the difference between intending to deceive (lying) and intending to give the necessary information. Related, context and relationships matter: you do not owe strangers the same amount of information as you do your parents or spouse. “A prudent man conceals knowledge, but the heart of fools proclaims folly” (Prov. 12:23). Your conscience should not ordinarily be troubled if you did not read all of the fine print of the user agreement, and you clicked “I have read and understand…” The intentions of everyone involved is to communicate that you are liable for certain standards, and you understand that. 

CHEATING

Cheating is actually a form of stealing and lying. In school settings, you are passing yourself or your work off as an accurate representation. But if you copied the answers from an answer key, looked over a classmate’s shoulder, or told your teacher you finished the reading that you didn’t really finish, then you are lying and attempting to get credit, praise, and promotion that you don’t deserve. In work settings, cheating may consist of lying about your work or work hours, or you may lie by breaking your word, your contracts, or your promises. There are many warnings in Scripture about making vows/promises, and here we should be particularly careful about promising to do things that we really aren’t sure we can fulfill, including to our own family. The righteous man “swears to his own hurt and does not change” (Ps. 15:4). 

FLATTERY VS. ETIQUETTE

Sometimes empty promises are a form of flattery, which is another form of lying and cheating. It is attempting to win respect/friendship through false complements, empty promises, or ignoring real problems. Speaking the truth to one another, as members of one another, means that we must love our neighbor as ourselves, not using others for what they can do for you. And here, we should make a distinction between good etiquette and flattery. Thanking someone for dinner need not mean it was your favorite meal ever, and again, it is kindness not to say everything that comes into your head and love covers a multitude of sins (1 Pet. 4:8). But this must not be an excuse for not addressing sin or addressing weakness or ignorance (Gal. 6:1). 

RASH JUDGEMENTS/GOSSIP/SLANDER

While the ninth commandment certainly applies to judicial situations, this also includes the court of public opinion. The Bible teaches that a good name is worth more than great riches (Prov. 22:1), and the duty of honesty requires the protection of our own name as well as the good name and reputation of our neighbors. This means we must be very reluctant to receive negative reports about our neighbors’ marriage, parents, kids, business dealings, or even those of our enemies. Of course this does not prohibit seeking help from those who can actually provide it, and this does not prohibit giving feedback on public matters like quality of work. 

SELF-ACCUSATION

Thomas Vincent points out that the prohibition against lying includes to and about ourselves: “in accusing ourselves in that wherein we are not guilty, and denying the gifts and graces which God hath given us, endeavoring to lessen our esteem, that thereby we might be numbered amongst those from whom we are through grace redeemed.” This also includes “unnecessary and imprudent discovery of all real infirmities, unto the scorn of the wicked and ungodly.”

Satan is the father of lies and the accuser, and he loves to accuse sinners with real and false accusations. The answer to every accusation is the cross of Christ, whereby we have been crucified with Christ and all of our sins completely paid for (Gal. 2:20). We must not listen to or give any credence to lies that say otherwise. If God says you are forgiven, and you have confessed to anyone you have sinned against, then do not give lies the time of day. 

CONCLUSION: HONESTY & AUTHORITY/TESTIMONY

Jesus Christ is the authoritative Truth made flesh. He is the true Word of God, and by His death and resurrection, He has been given the name that is above every name. In Him, we have that honest name and therefore, our good name reflects His good name. We should want our reputations in the community to be something like “honest as a kirker.”

If Christians have lost a great deal of authority in our modern world, we should look nowhere else but here: we rejected God’s true and authoritative word for many lies, and in turn, we have told and embraced many lies. But God’s Word is the truth (Jn. 17:17), and that truth sets us free.

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Mystery of the Church (CCD)

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Ephesians 1:3-10

“Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us in the heavenly realms with every spiritual blessing in Christ. 4 For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love 5 he[a] predestined us for adoption to sonship[b] through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— 6 to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. 7 In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace 8 that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, 9 he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, 10 to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.”

Perspectives

Understanding Ephesians well means understanding the context from which it was written, the ears that were prepared to receive it, and what the Spirit would teach us today.  So let us understand what Ephesians is within the body of Scripture, we will study what it meant to those that received it, and we will get down into the weeds on a couple of texts to understand what we should learn today.  This book is chock full of rich theology delivered at fire-hose rates.  One hardly has time to absorb the first verse before the next truth is slammed down on top of it.

Context

Ephesians was likely written while Paul was a prisoner in Rome around 60 AD (Eph 3:1, 4:1, 6:20) and intended potentially for other churches in the area.  Among his other letters Ephesians does not address specific heresy or error but instead mingles the high theology of the church with the nitty-gritty of daily life.  Or maybe it isn’t mingling, it is highly intentional.  Remember who Paul was, his context as an author and apostle to come from a card-carrying Pharisee to God’s apostle to the Gentiles. *

Outline

Ephesians is really a two part book, part one is where we will focus today, part two might be for a later sermon!  Chapters 1-3 describe the mystery of the church developed sequentially from Paul’s statement of purpose, found in chapter 1:10 to an eloquently presented foundation on which to understand the earthly role of the church as well as the cosmic and “eternal” 3:11 role of the church.

To God’s work to reconcile sinners to himself 1:18-2:10

To Christ’s work uniting Jews and Gentiles 2:11-22

To the icing on top, that this work is a mystery that required revelation.

Note that this section of Ephesians falls between two of Paul’s prayers 1:15 and 3:14.  The first prayer highlights his wish for the Ephesians to have understanding of the hope, the richness, and the power of God in salvation.  The second prayer is a consecration and benediction to this new creation of God, bigger than a family or race.  Paul’s prayer specifically ask from God that from his infinite strength that we might be strengthened in our faith in Christ.  And when we have been strengthened, that we receive power to comprehend (and apply) the love of Christ.

This is the commission of the Church, to bring to a world the Power of God through the Love of Christ.  And that is why we preach all of Christ, for all of Moscow, for all of life, for eternity!  Amen

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Love & Respect (Biblical Marriage Basics #9)

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INTRODUCTION

As we conclude this marriage series, we finish with the apostles’ review of the central duties of husbands and wives. And as we do so, we should recall the cosmic ramifications and nuclear potential in well-ordered marriages. If marriage is one of the central reflections of the New World that Christ is ushering into existence through His love of His Bride and her growing glory, and if marriage is that place where new, immortal souls are being brought into existence under God’s blessing, then the stakes are high and love and respect are not just extraneous courtesies, but central protocols for a thriving home, church, and nation.

THE TEXT

“Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband” (Eph. 5:33).

LOVE & RESPECT

When God commands pastors to feed God’s sheep, it is a reasonable inference that the sheep need to be fed (1 Pet. 5:2). Likewise, when God commands husbands to love their wives and wives to respect their husbands, it is a reasonable inference to assume that these are particular things each one needs. As Douglas Wilson likes to say, men run on diesel, women on unleaded. And if you know anything about that metaphor, you should also know that it will not go well to mix them up. It is not wrong for a man to respect his wife or a wife to love her husband, but it is wrong to knowingly neglect that which God has specifically commanded.

Part of the challenge here is that everyone tends to give what they want, and since a woman wants to be loved, she tends to give love, and since a man wants to be respected, he tends to give respect. And this is definitely one of those places where a great deal of faith is needed because obedience to these commands frequently doesn’t make sense to the spouse commanded to give it. But obedience is always better than sacrifice (1 Sam. 15:22), and disobedience is a form of a witchcraft, trying to trick blessing out of our preferences or methods (1 Sam. 15:23).

WHAT IS LOVE?

Love is obedient, sacrificial protection and provision that results in security, beauty, and glory. “Herein is love, not that we loved God, but that He loved us, and sent His Son to be the propitiation for our sins” (1 Jn. 5:10). C.S. Lewis says somewhere that women tend to think of love as taking trouble for someone else, while men tend to think of love as not giving trouble to someone else. This can be helpful for interpreting one another, but “taking trouble” really is closer to the biblical pattern of sacrifice.

We should underline that Christ-like love includes drawing near as Christ has done in the Incarnation – husbands must “dwell” with their wives in an understanding way (1 Pet. 3:7). Christ-like love communicates (particularly affection, security, attraction) – just as Christ has done through His Word and ministry.  Christ-like love expresses sympathy and compassion – just as Christ sympathizes with us in our weakness as our High Priest (Heb. 4:15). This covenant love is an overarching commitment to be gracious, a resolute orientation of kindness, even while leading or correcting, even in the face of opposition.

WHAT IS RESPECT?

Respect is obedient, sacrificial honor, submission, and obedience that results in wisdom, strength, and glory. A wife is instructed to adorn herself with the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit that trusts in God and obeys her husband, calling him “lord” or “master” just as Sara obeyed Abraham (1 Pet. 3:5-6). Part of the reason why even many Christian wives have difficulty with the command to respect their husbands is because they do not actually think of their husbands as a true authority. There are so many jokes about who the “boss” is and to be fair, so many cowardly men, that to speak of the true authority of a husband seems almost strange or foreign. While no woman is required to marry any particular man, when she does, she is voluntarily placing herself under his authority. The husband is the head of his wife, as Christ is the head of the Church (Eph. 5:23).

Respect is full of esteem, praise, and admiration for achievements, strengths, and abilities. Respect is shown through speaking highly of him, honoring his preferences, cheerfully obeying his decisions, gracious serving his needs, and the thoughtful adorning of body and home. A wife ought to give thought to how she can best arrange the home, meals, schedules, and her own adornment in a way to bless her husband and his needs or preferences, not merely what she prefers.

CONCLUSION

The Bible does not teach that husbands should love their wives if they have been acting particularly loveable. Nor does it teach that wives should respect their husbands if they have been acting particularly respectable. No, the logic of the gospel takes personal initiative. Christ loved us when we were unlovely, and Christ submitted to authorities that were acting unjustly when we were among the unrighteous. And He did both in order to overcome evil with good. Christ-like love efficaciously bestows loveliness. And Christ-like respect and submission efficaciously bestows honor and respectability.

The stakes really are high. It is no accident that when our enemies sought to undermine the influence of Christianity in our land, they went for the jugular: marriage and marital fidelity. Marriage is the nucleus of society; it is the nuclear power of a culture. We are currently living in the nuclear fallout of splitting the marriage atom and pretending that all is well. But Christ was crucified because the curse of our rebellion is that bad, and the promise is that all who look to Him in faith will be healed, the curses of all disobedience taken away. “If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us and cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 Jn. 1:9).

While this doesn’t mean that the consequences of sin are automatically eradicated, the blessing of Christ is the promise of His favor in whatever circumstances we are in. This blessing is what gives us courage to love and respect in obedience, whether it makes sense to us or not, whether it looks like it’s working or not. If we have the blessing of God, we have everything we need.

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