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What is Family For? (Part 1)

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Introduction

This week and next week we will look at what the Bible says about what the family is for in order to better understand why God calls us to different tasks aimed at the same goal.

The Text

8 For the man is not of the woman: but the woman of the man.9 Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.10 For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.11 Nevertheless neither is the man without the woman, neither the woman without the man, in the Lord.12 For as the woman is of the man, even so is the man also by the woman; but all things of God (1 Cor. 11:8-12).

Summary of the Text

In a somewhat challenging passage, Paul reminds the Corinthians that the creation details are important and significant, not arbitrary or ambivalent. The first woman was created fromman, and this is because woman was created forman (1 Cor. 11:9). Paul reasons from the order of creation to a telos or purpose of creation. Paul says that this is why a woman ought to have authority on her head (1 Cor. 11:10), especially in the context of worship and public prayer (1 Cor. 11:4-5). This is so significant that it in some way even reaches up to the angels (1 Cor. 11:10). At the same time, none of this can be taken to mean that man is independent of woman, as though only she needs the man. No, both need each other (1 Cor. 11:11). In fact, don’t take the “from” language in a sloppy way because every man after Adam literally came froma woman. And besides all of that, all things are fromGod (1 Cor. 11:12).

Because of the Angels

Riffing off of C.R. Wiley’s new book The Household and the War for the Cosmos, the Bible says that getting sex and marriage right has cosmic significance. This is implied at the beginning of our passage where Paul writes, “But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God” (1 Cor. 11:3). Paul insists that the order (or structure) of male and female in this world is constantly referring to Christ and God. To mess with male and female is already to attempt to mess with God and His Christ. We’ve been reminded of this many times when considering the fact that man (both male and female) is made in the image of God. Since rebel man cannot actually strike at the Infinite God, he strikes at His image – he burns the image in effigy, like some kind of blasphemous voodoo doll. But here Paul presses the point further: the blasphemy is not merely in the disfiguring and dismembering of image bearers themselves, but it is also in the attempted deconstruction of the orderof the sexes in marriage, in worship, and in the public square. To defy the orderis to defy Christ and God.

But it isn’t only that. Paul says that this order is even significant in some way because of the angels. Without pretending to understand fully what Paul had in mind with that phrase, we should understand that Paul is making a cosmicclaim. He is arguing that the order of man and woman and Christ and God is not an extraneous matter, but it reaches up and out into the fabric of the universe. While we have been trained to think of molecules and atoms as the fabric of the universe, a more biblical understanding recognizes that God’s Word is what ultimately holds all things together (Heb. 1:3), and the angels are His messengers, who carry out His word (Ps. 103:20), sparks of fire intimately involved in all of creation, fulfilling His will (Ps. 104:4). This is why in the Bible angels are associated with the stars (Jdg. 5:20, Job 38:7, Lk. 2:13, Rev. 22:16), and star-angels can be seen in this sense as having something to say/do with the births and lives and callings of people (Job 3:9, Mt. 2:2-20). Our lives are intertwined with the angels (Ps. 8:5).

All Fatherhood is Named

In another place, Paul again gestures at the cosmic significance of the family when he writes, “For this reason I bow my knees to the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, from whom the whole family [lit. all fatherhood] in heaven and earth is named, that He would grant you, according to the riches of his glory, to be strengthened with might through His Spirit in the inner man…” (Eph. 3:14-16). As with angels and stars, moderns are frequently ignorant of the Biblical and cosmic meaning of naming. But going back to the original creation week, when God spoke and called the universe into being, He did so by calling it by name, and when He began to teach Adam what it meant to be made in His image, He taught him to imitate that creativity in the task of namingthe animals (Gen. 1-2). Naming in the Bible goes closely together with calling. To be called by God is frequently to be named by God with that calling (e.g. Gen. 17:5, 15, Mt. 1:21, Lk. 1:13-17). While we are not God, our words are still powerful like God’s words (e.g. Ps. 42:10, Prov. 25:15, Js. 3:5-6). So all fatherhood finds its meaning and purpose in the Eternal Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, and this is how God grants strength in the inner man. Knowing the Father through His only Son is an invitation to put roots down, to know who your people are, to know what your nameis, to know what you and your family are for, to build a strong family.

What Are Families For?

“Then God blessed them, and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it; have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (Gen. 1:28). A great deal of our confusion is related to the fact that we don’t understand what family/marriage/home is for. The word “economics” is from two Greek words “home” and “law.” So literally, an “economy” is the “law of the house” or we might say the “order of the home.” An economy is literally the way a household is organized. A household economy includes what is being produced, what supplies are needed, and who performs what tasks. And therefore, there must be a clear chain of command. We do not generally bat an eye at the idea of a boss having authority and giving instructions and pointed feedback to employees. But this is frequently because we have a great deal of reverence for money and market success. But if you don’t think that the family-economy is doing anything terribly important then you might think the man being the head of his wife seems arbitrary and tyrannical – like some roommate being appointed “head” of all the roommates. But if you see how high the stakes are, that we are participating in cosmic realities, then you are likely to appreciate the need for clear roles. But you might still wonder: businesses have services they provide or goods they produce. What are families for? The answer is they make people.

Conclusion

People are the most valuable resource in all of creation because they bear the image of the Eternal God. Lewis says somewhere that we have never had any dealings with a mere mortal. Everyone we come in contact with is either in the process of becoming a creature that we would be tempted to worship or to recoil from in utter horror. People are immortals. For two people to become one flesh, and create new people is to participate in something beyond reckoning: immortal souls are coming into existence and being fashioned for eternal destinies.

So the stakes are really high if we get this wrong. But on the flip side, to submit to God’s design for man and woman and family is to cut with the grain of the stars. It is to even honor the angels in some mysterious way. It is to participate in something that reaches all the way up to God in heaven, which is why it is such a threat to all the old systems of sin and unbelief. But none of this is automatic. Our families participate in that glory in the only way there is to the Father, which is through the Son. This is good news for every kind of household there is. We make people biologicallythrough the one flesh union of husband and wife, but we make people for everlasting glory and productivity through the gospel, by knowing the Father through Jesus His Son.

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A Ladder Up to Heaven

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Introduction

A distinguishing feature of the Christian faith is that we proclaim the assurance of salvation. Christians aren’t left guessing if God hears their prayers. We aren’t crossing our fingers wishing that our God will be gracious to us. The saints of God aren’t cowering in the corner wondering what sort of mood God is in today. No. Those who are born again are as certain of their standing with God and His love to them as they are that the sun will rise tomorrow.

The Text

“The day following Jesus would go forth into Galilee, and findeth Philip, and saith unto him, Follow me. Now Philip was of Bethsaida, the city of Andrew and Peter. Philip findeth Nathanael, and saith unto him, We have found him, of whom Moses in the law, and the prophets, did write, Jesus of Nazareth, the son of Joseph. And Nathanael said unto him, Can there any good thing come out of Nazareth? Philip saith unto him, Come and see. Jesus saw Nathanael coming to him, and saith of him, Behold an Israelite indeed, in whom is no guile! Nathanael saith unto him, Whence knowest thou me? Jesus answered and said unto him, Before that Philip called thee, when thou wast under the fig tree, I saw thee. Nathanael answered and saith unto him, Rabbi, thou art the Son of God; thou art the King of Israel. Jesus answered and said unto him, Because I said unto thee, I saw thee under the fig tree, believest thou? thou shalt see greater things than these. And he saith unto him, Verily, verily, I say unto you, Hereafter ye shall see heaven open, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of man” (John 1:43-51).

Summary of the Text

After renaming Simon to Cephas (or Peter)––which means a stone (v.42), we have the unornamented call of Philip (v.43), what his hometown was (v.44), and his first act as a disciple: fetching Nathanael (v.45). Philip goes to find Nathanael, tells him that they’ve found the Messiah which Moses and the prophets foretold: a one Jesus of Nazareth (v.45).

Nathanael is dubious something as good as the Messiah could come out of Nazareth, but at Philip’s insistence, comes anyway (v.46). When Jesus sees Nathanael coming, He makes a (seemingly) odd pronouncement about Nathanael (v.47). The prophetic declaration strikes home, and Nathanael is left dumbfounded at Jesus’ discernment (cf. Is. 11:2-3), and asks, “What gives?!” To which Jesus reveals that He saw what Nathanael was up to before Philip even called him: being a true Israelite (under a fig tree) (v.48, cf. Mic. 4:4).
This is enough to persuade Nathanael of Jesus’ Messiahship (v.49). Jesus affirms his faith, and then reveals that greater things shall be seen by Nathanael (v.50). Jesus then describes those greater things by referencing a story about the patriarch Jacob, and a vision he had once seen (v.51, cf. Gen. 28).

The Name-Changer

The reference to Jacob’s ladder––the open heaven with angels ascending and descending––is a curious allusion, that is well worth pursuing. To recap that story, remember that the patriarch was leaving the promised land of Canaan not on sweet terms, but in a self-inflicted exile, fleeing from Esau. On his way, he stops for the night, takes a stone for a pillow, and while sleeping, sees a vision (which is what Jesus is alluding to in our text). When Jacob awakens, he declares, “Truly, God is in this place.” He sets up his stone pillow as a pillar, then changes the name of that place from Luz to Bethel––the house of God.

Years later, right before he returns to the Promised Land––as a great host––he wrestles with God at Peniel (Gen. 32), and God declares that his name is going to be changed. A few chapters later––in the closing scenes of Jacob’s story––we see that he has returned to Bethel, and there God renews the Abrahamic covenant with Jacob, and renames him: Israel (Gen. 35:9-15). After God appears to Jacob, He “goes up/ascends” from him.

So, why does John recount this interaction with Nathanael? First, remember the preceding context of this section. Jesus has been changing names: Simon to Peter (a stone). In other words, Jesus sets up a stone, like Jacob had done long ago. Jesus tells Nathanael that he is not a Jacob, but an Israelite (the only time someone is called an Israelite in John’s gospel).

Nathanael declares Jesus to be, “Rabbi, Son of God, King of Israel;” but Jesus quickly “renames” himself: “son of man.” As one more layer to the “name-changing” going on in this passage, John is the only Gospel writer to refer to Nathanael; whereas the synoptic gospels refer to him as Bartholomew. In other words, Jesus is a name-changer. But only a father has the right to name someone, and only God has the right to rename someone.

“He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches; To him that overcometh will I give to eat of the hidden manna, and will give him a white stone, and in the stone a new name written, which no man knoweth saving he that receiveth it (Rev. 2:17).”
“Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named (Eph 3:15).”

The human race is full of Adamsons. But our family is under the judgement and wrath of God. Our family is in exile from the garden. We forfeited the deed to it back in Eden. We are cut off from heaven, and thus our lot is hell. Who will bring us back to God?

The Great Divorce

But the fact that Jesus is a name-changer is not the only feature in this passage. Name-changing is a divine prerogative, but a far off god is no good for sinners. What John is drawing our attention to is the tension between Christ’s divinity, and His humanity. Henry Law once well-stated: “[The vision of the ladder] shows Jesus, in the miracle of His person—man, without ceasing to be God—God, without scorning to be man.”

Jesus has come to be the one, sent by the Father, to change our names. He has come to adopt us into God’s family. Nathanael is dead on when he sees in Jesus a true Rabbi, a true priest, a true King (v.49). He is a faithful Israelite, who has longed for the promised salvation. But Jesus makes it plain that the way in which He will fulfill those offices is by uniting earth back to heaven.
In Eden there was, what C.S. Lewis called, a great divorce. We were cut off from God and from grace. In order to return, the debt must be repaid, and it must be paid by a son of Adam, a Son of man. While Nathanael was persuaded to believe because of Jesus’ prophetical declaration, Jesus expands the smallness of Nathanael’s vision. Jesus has come to suffer as one of us, but as God to rise from the dead. Or as the Belgic Confession puts it, “true God in order to conquer death by His power, and true man that he might die for us in the weakness of his flesh.”

In Jesus Christ we have a true Son of Man, who is also the Son of God. The great marvel which Nathanael would see is that reunion of heaven and earth in Christ. Our prayers, in the name of Jesus, ascend up to heaven. The blessings of His grace and mercy descend unto us.

Babel tried to build a tower into heaven, and they were denied. Heaven was closed. But in Jacob’s ladder it is God Himself who sets up a tower into an open heaven. Jesus tells us He’s the only way back to God. He says, “I am that ladder.” And that ladder is your assurance of prayers heard and salvation received. For those who look to Jesus, He brings your prayers and tears to God, and He brings down all of God’s grace, goodness, and promises to you. Nathanael, indeed, saw great things.

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Saved from My Righteousness

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A Radical Conversion

If Jesus retold the Parable of the Pharisee and Tax Collector, who would be the characters today? The Pharisee could be a student at the classical Christian school or a successful business man or a very industrious housewife––the defining trait is someone who trusts in their own righteousness. The apostle Paul fit the description of parable’s Pharisee and he had quite a bit that he could put his trust in––his parents, his history, his education, his career success, his spiritual zeal. Paul summed up all of this as “my own righteousness” (Phil. 3:9).Then Paul had a radical conversion, but not the kind of conversion we often think of. Paul was saved from his own righteousness. In Philippians 3, Paul tells about the great discovery that he can and must abandon all his self-righteousness because he gained that which is so much more excellent and valuable in Christ Jesus––who saves him from his self-righteousness.

Beware of Confidence in the Flesh (Phil. 1:1-3)

Paul sets the context of the whole discussion in Philippians 3:1, “Finally, my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. For me to write the same things to you is not tedious, but for you it is safe.” What will prevent Christians rejoicing in the Lord? The very real danger of your righteousness. And so in verse 2 Paul warns, “Beware of dogs, beware of evil workers, beware of the mutilation!” Paul is warning about Judaizers––Jewish Christians who accepted Jesus as the Christ but then required that the way to follow Christ was to obey the Jewish ceremonial law. Judaizers would say, “Alright Gentiles, if you want to be a Christian, then you must become a Jew and keep all the Jewish Law. And first up, circumcision.” They make salvation dependent on Christ plus some of your work. Christ pluscircumcision. Christ plusthe Law. Christ plusthis work of the flesh. But this is anti-gospel, a perversion of the gospel. Salvation is Christ plus nothing. (Gal. 2:16).

Confidence in the Flesh (vs. 4-6)

Paul knows all about having confidence in the flesh. Paul’s been there, done, that, and got the “confidence in the flesh” tee-shirt. And so he goes on a confidence in the flesh rant in verses 4-6, “We have no confidence in the flesh, thoughI also might have confidence in the flesh. If anyone else thinks he may have confidence in the flesh, I more so…” Paul had an armful of accomplishments and accolades and privileges he could hold up and show off. Paul is like the older brother in the Parable of the Prodigal Son or, alternatively titled, “The Parable of the Self-Righteous Son––who didn’t enjoy any of his dad’s gifts and his brothers celebration because his arms were so full of his own self-righteousness, and he had a bad attitude.”

Lose Everything to Gain Christ (vs. 7-11)

What does Paul do with all of this confidence in the flesh? Verse 7, “But what things were gain for me, these things I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ” (vs. 7-8). All the gain that he had––benefits of his birth, privileges from his parents, his promising career as a Pharisee––he counts them as loss. Why? Because he has found something so much more extremely valuable––the supremacy, the excellency of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. In comparison to Christ and his perfect righteousness, everything once prized and privileged seems a cheap imitation.  It like realizing you prized soccer trophy from the U-6 season is not real gold but spray painted plastic––worthless.

But for Paul, these old confidences are not merely shown be be worthless compared to Christ, they are now revoltingto him. He scoops up all his old confidence, walks outside and throws them in hedog-do garbage can. Paul came to understand that his self-righteousness has no profit and zero ability to actually make him righteous before God. So his aim is “That I may knowHim and the power of His resurrection, and the fellowship of his sufferings, being conformed to his death, if by any means, I may attain to the resurrection from the dead” (vs. 10-11)

Joy of Losing All Self-Righteousness

What does this passage mean for us? How do we apply it? Consider who you are if Jesus told a parable. Are you the self-righteous Pharisee? Are you the tax collector who really was sinful? The sullen older brother? Or the rebellious younger brother? All of these have different stories but the same need––Christ and his righteousness.  Paul has discovered the great joy of losing all his attempts at self-righteousness because he has gained Christ. This is really good news. Your response should be what Paul told us to do at the beginning––Rejoice in the Lord. There’s really relief and joy in discovering you can lose and must lose all self-righteousness––because Jesus is your righteousness.

But what is the alternative? Rejoice in yourself. From my experience, there’s not much joy in self-righteousness. If anything, self-righteousness is a cruel master. Either you will be arrogant or you will despair. Arrogant like the Pharisee who prayed aloud “thank God that I’m so much better than all of these other sinners.” Or you despair under such a crushing burden of righteousness that you can never achieve.

So what should you do if you are the Pharisee or the older brother? Humble yourself like that tax collector and pray “God, have mercy on me a sinner.” Return to your Father like the young son. And rejoice that Jesus is your righteousness.

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Change and Spiritual Growth in Biblical Counseling

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Text

“For no good tree bears bad fruit, nor again does a bad tree bear good fruit, for each tree is known by its own fruit. For figs are not gathered from thorn bushes, nor are grapes picked from a bramble bush. The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks.  (Lk 6:43-45)

Introduction

When we talk about counseling, we’re talking about change. Sometimes it involves change of mind, sometimes it involves change of behavior, and sometimes it involves both at the same time. But change is only good if you know what you are changing from and what you are changing to.

Created for Glory

The Bible is clear that God does what he does for his glory. It is all about him. If he were a person, this would be the most arrogant thing a person could say. But God is not a man, he is God. Everything that happens, creation, animals, plants, men, life, death, and anything else you can think of exists and continues to exist for God’s glory. The Bible tells us that even sin happens for God’s glory (Rom. 9:8-24). What this means is that we also were created for God’s glory.

What brings God glory? One definition I’ve heard that has always helped in my understanding is that glory means fame. When we make God famous he is glorified. We bring him glory by making him famous. We make him famous by living according to his word, talking about him, walking with him, becoming like him, and by pleasing him in all that we do, think, feel, and say. Everything brings God glory.

Our goal, therefore, is to get on board with God’s program and do everything in our power to bring him glory. To do this we need to constantly re-think every thought, action, emotion, and impulse we have ever had and bring it under the Lordship of Jesus Christ. As the Westminster Shorter Catechism says, we glorify God and enjoy him forever.

First Things First

With this in mind we need to take a moment to discuss what we mean by spiritual. Usually we contrast spiritual with worldly and what we mean by that is ethereal versus material. Sometimes we mean other world versus what we can see feel and smell around us. We separate God and the things of God from ourselves and the things related to humanity. This is a very vertical distinction. I would like to consider another way. Spiritualshould be contrasted with worldly or natural (1 Cor. 2:12-14), but what we should mean by this is that obedient as opposed to rebellious. In other words, the Bible says that we live and move and have our being in Jesus Christ (Acts 17:28). It also says that in him all things hold together (Col. 1:17). This means that the distinction between spiritual and worldly is a horizontal difference, not a vertical one. We are being spiritual if we are bringing honor and glory to God. We are being worldly if we are being rebellious against God and his son.

Spiritual Growth

Understanding spiritual in these terms changes whatever we thought spiritual growth was all about. If we thought it meant more spiritual, or more in touch with the other world, more ethereal or something sort of spacy and distant, we had it wrong. If we mean more in tune with the Spirit’s leading, in other words more obedient and in touch with the things of God and the ways of God and the thoughts of God and those ramifications for life and the kingdom, then we are on the right track.

Spiritual growth only happens as we act on our Biblical beliefs. If we submit ourselves to the Lordship of Jesus we grow in grace and the knowledge of the Son of God (2 Pet. 3:18). The Spirit of God works in us to change us into the likeness of Christ. If we are in rebellion against him, we are not growing spiritually at all. Spiritual growth means we are becoming more like Jesus. It does not mean we are more spiritual in the sense the pagans mean it.

As This Relates to Counseling

What this means for Biblical Counselors is that our goal, to make every man mature in Christ, is real spiritual work. We are coming along side others to help them learn to walk with God more consistently, more effectively, more like Jesus, and to bring others along with them. God gave ministers to the church to train the people to do the works of service (Eph. 4:10). He commanded all of us to make disciples of every nation (Mt. 28:19). A disciple is someone who follows Jesus and learns to be like him. Our goal as Biblical Counselors is to help others become disciples of Jesus and to help disciples be more like Jesus. In the process God will be working in them to change their hearts and minds to be more like Christ. And thus bring glory to God.

Two Directions at Once

Biblical change happens as we recognize those areas of our lives that are not being offered up to Jesus Christ as something that brings him glory. We want glory for ourselves and so we clutch and grab. We steal, envy, lust, grumble, complain, and are angry because we can’t have what God has not given us, or because we cannot capitalize on what God has given us. This is sin. But sin has a blinding effect on us. It causes us to not be able to see what it is we are doing. God has an answer, however. God sends the Holy Spirit to us to reveal our hearts to us and he sends fellow Christians to us to help us see our shortcomings, failures and rebellion. He points out our sin to us. This is the first task of the Biblical Counselor; to help the counselee see and understand his heart the way God sees and understands his heart.

Once a person realizes that the problems he is having in life are directly related to the fact that he has erected idols in his heart to distract him from submitting to God, and he realizes that he wants to get rid of those idols, he needs to confess his rebellion and let God forgive and cleanse him from his sin. Remember, we began this lecture with glory, but idols steal God’s glory. So, he hates them with a holy passion and so should we.

But wait, there’s more. In addition to confessing his sin, the counselee needs to endeavor to replace living the wrong way with living the right way. We call this change, repentance, a changing of the mind (of heart) from doing it wrong to doing it right.

This is the other half of Biblical counseling; to help people learn to live the right way with God and fellow men. Christians are constantly repenting; turning away from sin and to God. Christians turn from doing it our way, to doing it God’s way. We are going two directions at once, away and toward.

Progressive Sanctification

On one hand this talk has been all about glory and change. On the other hand, in a very sneaky way, what I’ve been talking about has been what theologians call progressive sanctification. Sanctification means to be made holy. The Bible tells us that in Christ, God has made us holy (Heb 10:10). We are holy because of what Jesus did for us on the Cross. Another way of saying holy is to say, “sanctified,” “set apart,” “elect,” “sacred,” or even “special.” In this sense, we have been made holy. We are already holy. But the Bible tells us that while we are already holy, we are also being made holy (Heb 10:14). We are living out our holiness. In a sense we are proving, by our lives, what God has already declared (Jn 14:15).

What this looks like is us doing things; obeying, loving, acting, etc. It might, at times look like we are trying to earn our holiness, but if we are trying to earn it, we’ve got it all wrong. Christians live out what God has declared because God declared it and it is true. But as we live out what God has given to us, God works in us to make us like Christ (Eph 4:11-16). And so, we have not only been declared to be holy, we are also becoming holy. We call this process progressive sanctification.

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