Christ Church

Loving Little Ones #2

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Introduction
We have considered the fact that child nurture, if it is to be healthy, has to occur in a particular kind of soil—and that is the soil of grace, mercy, and kindness. This is not indulgence or relativism, but rather is the only real basis for bringing up children who will love and worship God. You want children who love what you love, including your God.

The Text
“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).

Overview
The children of the church at Ephesus have just been reminded of their duty to obey their parents (v. 1), and the reason given is that of the fifth commandment (v. 2)—the first command that God gave that had a promise attached to it (v. 3). Paul takes the promise that had originally applied to Israelite children in the land, and he applies it to Gentile children in the earth. He then turns to the duties of the father, and says two things—the first is that fathers need to take care that they don’t provoke their children, and they need to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (v. 4). In brief, they are to bring up their children in the Lord. But what does this mean?

Your Child In Adam
It has been God’s good pleasure to renovate the human race in Christ without making us move out. In other words, the fact that we as believers deal daily with the rubble caused by the collapse of the first Adam does not mean that the work of the last Adam is not in progress. Here is some of the rubble that we have to deal with. “Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him” (Prov. 22:15). Every believer has to deal with remaining sin. Because of Christ, inner sin is not reigning sin, but it is remaining. “For which cause we faint not; but though our outward man perish, yet the inward man is renewed day by day” (2 Cor. 4:16). Those who believe in infant baptism, or God’s covenant promises for our children, must never allow this to deteriorate into a covenantal presumption. Whenever covenant presumption settles in, one of the first things that happens is a blithe disregard of that rattlesnake Adam called your ego.

The common evangelical paradigm holds that evangelical conversion is chronological only. “In 2005, I used to be that way, and now in 2008 I am this way.” This is certainly true of those who were converted from a life of rebellion, but what does this paradigm do for kids who have grown up in the Church? The word conversion means “to turn.” For those who actually have lived in rebellion, they must turn from that, obviously. But this is not the only turning that we are called to do. Jesus said to take up your cross daily (Luke 9:23), and this certainly includes those who have been in covenant with God their entire lives. Those who have been in covenant their whole lives simply have more days in which they are called to do this.Every Christian—even Christians who have grown up in the Church, especially Christians who have grown up in the Church—must turn from sin daily, must turn away from that remaining Adamic substratum daily. Jesus said to take up your cross daily (Luke 9:23), and this certainly includes those who have been in covenant with God their entire lives. Those who have been in covenant their whole lives simply have more days in which they are called to do this.

Every disciple needs to mortify his members which are still on the earth (Col. 3:5). Little disciples simply need help with this from their parents, that’s all.

Your Child In Christ
In our texts, fathers were told to bring their children up in the Lord. They are not told to bring them to the Lord. The child’s covenant status with God is simply assumed—but as we just noted, this is not the same thing as assuming covenant faithfulness. Given this, the task of Christian parents is to teach your children faith, not doubts.The task of Christian parents is to teach your children faith, not doubts. The question is not whether Christ and sin are inconsistent—of course they are inconsistent. The question rather is which way we reason.

Do we say, “You just sinned. That is inconsistent with life in Christ. I wonder if you are really in Christ.” This is to catechize your child in doubts. Or do we say, “Son, you are in Christ, and this sin is inconsistent with that life. That is why your mother and I are going to help you to deal with the sin.” This is to catechize your child in faith. If Christ and sin are inconsistent in your children’s lives, and they are, then banish the sin instead of banishing Christ. And of course, if you say, “You’re baptized. It’s all good. Don’t worry about it,” you are catechizing them in presumption.

Coming to Worship
When we come to worship, the entire service is geared to be edifying to the entire congregation. Not one person here gets everything out of the service that they could—not even close. So why would we exclude little ones until they can get as much out of it as we do? This helps to create the temptation of them not wanting to join us at all. We tell children that if they grow up to be big and strong, we will then give them some food. When they keel over and die of starvation, we congratulate ourselves on not having wasted any food on them—because they were obviously going to die anyway. This is simply perverse.

No adult at your dinner table turns to a toddler in a high chair and demands to know why he, the toddler, is not eating as much as the adult is. We are nourished according to our capacity. It is the same here. God knows our frame.

When you bring your children before the Lord, you need to settle this in your own mind and heart. You need to carefully teach them that they are welcome to everything here that they can reach. This would include, but not be limited to, the low notes of the psalms, the high notes of the hymns, the central point of the sermon, some incidental point in the sermon, the Apostles’ Creed, the corporate amen, the lifting of the hands, and partaking of the bread and wine. Have you noticed that parents who bring their children for baptism promise to treat them, not only as their natural son or daughter, but also as a brother or sister.

Bringing up your children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord means that you teach them this: “You are in. Let me instruct you further on what it means to be in. Let me model it for you, and teach you how to be faithfully in.” But, we worry, suppose a child grows up to reject all this. What do we do then? We do the same thing we would do with an adult who is baptized and who then falls away. Life in Christ and life in sin cannot be harmonized.

This worship service is the center of our lives, and consequently it ought to be the center of your child’s life. And by center, we do not mean the “central arduous duty,” but rather the central delight.

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Loving Little Ones #1

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Introduction
The duties of a godly parent are profound and challenging. This is particularly the case when you are dealing with little ones who cannot explain anything to you. They don’t know their own heart, and they could not tell you about if they did. We have to get our guidance from Scripture. And like everything else, parenting is completely dependent on the grace of God—but on this subject, it should be immediately obvious to us that we are dependent on the grace of God. But when that grace is operative, what does it look like?

The Texts
“If ye fulfil the royal law according to the scripture, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself, ye do well” (James 2:8). “Then said he unto the disciples, It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones” (Luke 17:1-2).

Overview
The context of James’ injunction is interesting. He has just been talking about a biblical refusal to show partiality between rich and poor. And after this statement in our text, he moves on to give a general statement about heart attitudes. “For he shall have judgment without mercy, that hath shewed no mercy; and mercy rejoiceth against judgment” (v. 13). My particular point here is not the larger social point that James is making, but rather the attitudes that drive it, and what those attitudes look like in the microcosm of the home. In the home, who are the rich and who are the poor? Who is the establishment, and who are the ruled? Who has control of the courts and who does not? And can it be said of parents generally that they love mercy, and that mercy triumphs over judgment? In the passage from Luke, Jesus warns against stumbling or offending little ones. He attaches one of the most dire warnings in the Bible to this caution (v. 2). Jesus said a lot of things about children that are routinely ignored today, just as the first disciples tended to ignore them. When we stumble or offend little ones, we are not letting mercy triumph over judgment.

Delight
Parents should always desire to be like God in their relationship to their children. But when we think this, we gravitate to what we think or assume God is like instead of gravitating to what God reveals Himself to be like. Here is the fundamental attitude. “The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing” (Zep. 3:17). “If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children: how much more shall your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to them that ask him?” (Luke 11:13). Parents who are “evil” frequently are better to their kids than parents who think they are being good by imitating a Cosmic Slavedriver. Delight in your children. Be crazy about them. Don’t hold back. They are cuter than everybody else’s. Parents should always desire to be like God in their relationship to their children.

The Structure of the Garden
But you must take care to structure your delight. When God placed Adam and Eve in the Garden, He gave them, in principle, the run of the world. There was one thing, and one thing only, that was off limits, and that was one tree in the middle of the Garden. What does this tell you about God’s sense of proportion? Which way does He lean?

You are trying to imitate God, not some federal regulatory agency. Keep life simple. Keep the rules simple and easy to memorize. Don’t keep changing them, and don’t multiply opportunities for disobedience. God had one rule in the Garden, and ten rules at Sinai. The rest of the Old Testament are commentary on those ten rules, which can actually be reduced to two—love God and love your neighbor. I recall vividly the three rules in my father’s house when I was growing up—no disobedience, no lying, and no disrespecting your mother. This is the spirit of Scripture.

Make sure there is always a boundary (delight is not indulgence; delight has a backbone), and carefully police that boundary. But don’t multiply boundaries. Don’t multiply opportunities for disobedience. “Come here. Put on your coat. Put that down. Find your boots. I thought I said to come here!” Reduce the number of commands you issue by about 90%, and then enforce all those commands. Don’t exasperate your children (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21). Remember their frame. “Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame; he remembereth that we are dust” (Ps. 103:13-14).

Discipline That Delights
Yeah, but when does the hammer fall? Doesn’t there have to be moral order in the home? Don’t we have to have the rule of law around here? Depending on what you mean by putting it this way, probably not. A parent who disciplines effectively is refusing to allow his child to make himself unlovely. “I love you too much to let you do that to yourself.” Discipline is corrective, and it is applied for the sake of the one receiving it. It is not punitive, and it is not rendered for the sake of the one giving it.

When you are spanking a child, you are either being selfish or you are being selfless—one or the other. You are doing it because you are exasperated, frustrated, beside yourself, and frazzled, or you are doing it as a fragrant offering to the God of your fathers. An ungodly sentiment can be roughly categorized as, “Take that, you little swine,” and a godly sentiment as, “In the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost.” What does Scripture say? “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted” (Gal. 6:1). When you are highly motivated to discipline your kids, you are not qualified. When you are qualified, you don’t feel like it.

Discipline, rightly understood, is not an exception to the rule of delight mentioned earlier, it is a principal expression of it. “If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons” (Heb. 12:7-8). Refusal to discipline (with the right attitude) is a form of disowning a child. Refusal to discipline (again, with the right attitude) is a form of hatred. “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes” (Prov. 13:24).

All who love, discipline. But it does not follow from this that all who discipline, love. A child must grow up in, be surrounded by, and be nourished in, the love of God revealed for His people in the Word Incarnate and the Word revealed. This is the context in which godly child-rearing occurs, and, outside of which it cannot occur.

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Friendship Evangelism

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Introduction:
For various reasons, evangelism is a difficult subject for many Reformed Christians. Some die-hard Calvinists may have glanced at the title of this message—friendship evangelism—and asked, “What’s evangelism?” Or, if they are really die-hard Calvinists, perhaps they asked, “What’s friendship?” But this attitude is not what the Bible teaches, not what the tradition of the Reformed faith teaches, and it is not what we have sought to practice in this congregation.

The Text:
“No man, when he hath lighted a candle, putteth it in a secret place, neither under a bushel, but on a candlestick, that they which come in may see the light. The light of the body is the eye: therefore when thine eye is single, thy whole body also is full of light; but when thine eye is evil, thy body also is full of darkness. Take heed therefore that the light which is in thee be not darkness. If thy whole body therefore be full of light, having no part dark, the whole shall be full of light, as when the bright shining of a candle doth give thee light. And as he spake, a certain Pharisee besought him to dine with him: and he went in, and sat down to meat” (Luke 11:33-37).

Overview:
Jesus teaches us that when we turn on the lights, we do not do this in order to hide it away (v. 33). You don’t keep a light bulb burning in a back room of the basement—not on purpose anyway. Now Jesus says that we do this so that “they which come in may see the light” (v. 33). Now there are many places in Scripture where a “shining of the light” refers to what we call contact evangelism, but this is not one of them. When someone stands up in the town square and preaches the gospel, he is shining the light, but by a different means than is in view here. Jesus moves from a mention of lighting a candle to the cryptic statement that “the light of the body is the eye” (v. 34). If your eye is single, your whole body is full of light. If your eye is evil, your whole body is full of darkness. This business about the eye was a Jewish idiom, referring to generosity and stinginess respectively. But be careful—there are people in darkness who think they are in light (v. 35). They think they are hanging from the ceiling when they are in fact under a bushel. All of these are connected—eye, body, room. Jesus then was invited to share a meal with a Pharisee, and He did so (v. 37).

Clearing Some Debris:
Contact evangelism is the equivalent of an evangelistic cold call. If a person is gifted and called to this, it is wonderful. Friendship evangelism is far more organic and does not depend in any way on anything like calling, ordination, or giftedness—Jesus is presupposing here that this experience will be shared by all His faithful followers. It is commonly called friendship evangelism, but we could call it light of the eye evangelism.

But not all that calls itself friendship evangelism is. Friendship evangelism is something other than friendly evangelism. Scripture say to let your love be without hypocrisy. You don’t want to invite a nonbeliever over because you have a product line you’d like to show him. Under such circumstances, the nonbeliever would right feel abused. This is not friendship evangelism, but rather pretence evangelism. Friendly marketing evangelism is not friendship evangelism.

At the same time, be aware that true friendship with nonbelievers will always hit a sticking point. If you had the best relationship in the world with your mother, how could you be complete friends with someone who despised her? But the impediment needs to be that problem, and not your personal grievance that he is not letting you “complete a sale.”

Also remember a few common pitfalls — take heed to your own walk with God. First, evangelism is a two-way street, and sometimes the world recruits people from the Church better than we recruit people from the world. So you want to be an evangelist to the rich, evangelist to the bar crowd, evangelist to attractive, single women on campus? You can only export what you have, and if your spiritual life is a mess, then that is what you will take on the road. Second, evangelism is not what many assume. Many Christians really don’t want to be struggling spiritually, and they view evangelism as a means of grace. They feel like “real Christians” if they are sharing their faith. But sharing your faith is not an assigned means for propping up your faith. And last, evangelism is not so that you can become an ecclesiastical Billy the Kid, just another gunslinger with notches on your Bible.

A Woven Life:
Our postmodern world wants you to think of everything as a collage, with everything arranged by juxtaposition only. The juxtaposition does get an “effect”—you have your church people, biology class people, work people, and so on. Your life and your worldview is a pastiche, a hodge-podge, and not a Charles Hodge-Podge either. Owen Barfield said that what C.S. Lewis thought about everything was implicit in what he said about anything. The biblical worldview is woven. An integrated Christian life should be woven together in who you are. This means that when talking with anybody about anything, you will find yourself talking about Christ—and you will get to Christ without changing the subject.

What do I mean by juxtaposition? “What’s your major? Who do you think is going to take the Super Bowl?” And then you grab the spiritual discussion by the ears and haul it in. “Aaa! Too soon, too soon!” There is an old blues song—“never make your move too soon.” Don’t lug it in unless it is part of who you are. If everything is connected, soon is fine. If everything is disconnected, two years of friendship won’t make it any easier. If we really understand the Godness of God in everything, we can’t answer five honest questions in a row without it all coming down to Christ naturally.

Now for the Surprise:
What is the common theme that ties everything together? What is the integrative tie? It is your relationship to your material possessions, to your money. “And I say unto you, Make to yourselves friends of the mammon of unrighteousness; that, when ye fail, they may receive you into everlasting habitations” (Luke 16:9). Use ungodly mammon to make friends for yourselves, friends who will then receive you in heaven.

We see the same thing in our text. Jesus said that if your eye is light (if you are generous), your whole body will be full of light. He then said if your whole body is full of light, then it will be the candle that should give light to the room. And the well-lit room is the one where people can see well enough to ask questions. The room is lit so that those who come in might see it.

Now everything rides on this. Friendship evangelism rests upon generosity, sacrifice, kindness, openness, hospitality, goodness, and open-handedness. That is to be the texture of your life, and non-believers are welcome to come along with you. In short, is your evangelism giving or taking? Are you a benefactor or a salesman?

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