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Biblical Child Discipline in an Age of Therapeutic Goo #2

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INTRODUCTION

In order to work through a series of messages on parenting, it is necessary to pay some attention to the parents. The parents are the ones doing the work, and the quality of the participle (parenting) is going to be dependent on the quality of the source. If the parent is foolish, so will the parenting be. If the parent is dictatorial, so will the parenting be. If the parent is wise, so will the parenting be. So rather than turning immediately to the interactions between parent and child, it is necessary to look first at the relationship between parent and God. 

THE TEXT

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith” (Rom. 12:1–3). 

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Every Christian, regardless of their station, needs to present their bodies (and whatever their bodies do) as a living sacrifice to God. Your bed is an altar, your car is an altar, your chair at the dinner table is an altar, and from that place, all day long, you present your body and whatever your body is doing as a sacrifice to God (v. 1). This would include speaking to your children, and disciplining them. What you do here needs to be acceptable to God, and a reasonable act of worship. We are created as conforming creatures, and so it is not a matter of whether we will conform to a pattern, but rather which pattern we will conform to. Paul says here that it is not to be the pattern assigned by the world (v. 2), but rather that we be transformed through the renewal of the mind, conforming to the entire goodness of the will of God (v. 2). And then we come to the place where we see how it all plays out. It plays out in what we think of ourselves. Do not think of yourself more highly than you should (v. 3), but rather to think of yourselves in a God-given and sensible (sophroneo) way (v. 3).

THREE KINDS OF PARENTS

Parents are assigned the rule of their children. Children are instructed, for example, to obey their parents (Eph. 6:1). They are told that they must honor their parents (Eph. 6:2). They are told that their responsibilities to their parents do change over time, but some sort of responsibility is always there (Mark 7:10-11). We can see if we put all this together that parents are assigned the rule of their children as they grow. This being the case, we can divide parents into the three broad categories of rulers that we find in Scripture. 

A ruler can be foolish and indulgent (Prov. 25:5). A ruler can be foolish and dictatorial (Ecc. 4:13). And a ruler can be wise and prudent (Prov. 20:26). Bringing this down into the micro-kingdom of the home, parents can be indulgent, parents can be tyrannical, and parents can be authoritative. In the nature of the case, the wise parents will be humble, and therefore not that sure about how wise they are being. The dictatorial parent thinks he is simply being firm, and the indulgent parent thinks she is simply being kind. But no one should think of themselves more highly than they should. 

And remember our propensity to guard against the sin we are least likely to fall into. The indulgent parent is all on his guard against tyranny, and the tyrannical father is being very careful to not be too soft. Remember this observation from Screwtape: “The game is to have them all running about with fire extinguishers when there is a flood, and all crowding to that side of the boat which is already nearly gunwale under.”

WHY NOT ASK?

At this point it is easy to throw up your hands in mock despair, and lament the fact that this is so hard to figure out. But perhaps the problem is not that it is too hard to figure out, but rather that we are too hard to want to figure it out. Lewis again:

“It is no good passing this over with some vague, general · admission such as ‘Of course, I know I have my faults.’ It is important to realize that there is some really fatal flaw in you: something which gives the others just that same feeling of despair which their flaws give you . . . But why, you ask, don’t the others tell me? Believe me, they have tried to tell you over and over again, and you just couldn’t ‘take it’ . . . And even the faults you do know you don’t know fully. You say, ‘I admit I lost my temper last night’; but the others know that you’re always doing it, that you are a bad-tempered person” (The Trouble With X). 

Why not ask? First, ask God to reveal where you actually are on this map. Are you indulgent? Are you harsh? Are you kind and wise? “Search me, O God, and know my heart: Try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23–24). And then, having humbled yourself this way, ask one further thing from God. Ask Him to speak to through your family and friends. Then go to them and tell them to please be straight with you. If they are critical, you promise not to get angry or to go weird on them. “Would you describe me as an indulgent parent, a harsh parent, or a wise and kind parent?” Do not do this with one person and then go put their opinion in the bank. Ask 5 to 10 people, and see if you start to notice a pattern. 

LOVE IS

As you evaluate the “parenting” that is going on in your home, do not attempt to tinker with the fruit. All the attention should be given to the tree.

“Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.” (Matthew 7:17–18). 

And if the examination brings you to a point of humiliation and regret, take it as God’s kindness to you. “Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: And let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head” (Psalm 141:5). Do not despair, and do not drop your name into that glorious passage in 1 Cor. 13, in order to overwhelm yourself with a sense of your sinfulness. No . . . put Christ’s name in there, and use that passage to look to Him. 

“Christ suffereth long, and is kind; Christ envieth not; Christ vaunteth not Himself, is not puffed up, doth not behave Himself unseemly, seeketh not His own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4–7). 

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What Grace Looks Like (The Continuing Adventures of Jesus #25) (KC)

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INTRODUCTION

The decision of the Jerusalem Council illustrates a principle that Christians have always struggled with: grace has a backbone. True grace really is radically free, and because it is so free, it is potent and transformative. Grace welcomes and instructs. Grace rests and works. 

The Text: “And after they had held their peace, James answered, saying, Men and brethren, hearken unto me: Simeon hath declared how God at the first did visit the Gentiles…” (Acts 15:13-35)

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

After Peter, Barnabas, and Paul had given their testimonies, James speaks as the leader of the council and affirms Peter’s account (Acts 15:13-14). James says that this agrees with the prophecy of Amos that the tabernacle of David will be rebuilt so that the Gentiles may worship the Lord with the Jews – which was God’s plan from the beginning (Acts 15:15-18). 

So James proposes that a letter be written to the Gentiles in Antioch not to be troubled with obligation to the whole Mosaic law but only be asked to abstain from idols, fornication, and from strangled meat and blood (Acts 15:19-21). This decision was pleasing to the whole council, two men were chosen to accompany Paul and Barnabas and the letter back to Antioch, and the letter clarified that the Jerusalem church had not sent the men who had stirred up the trouble (Acts 15:22-29). They returned to Antioch, read the letter, and everything was explained, and it was all very encouraging to everyone (Acts 15:30-35).  

THE TABERNACLE OF DAVID

James appeals to the “prophets” (plural) but cites Amos who foretold the restoration of David’s tabernacle (Amos 9:11-12). Remember, this was the temporary tent that David erected where the ark was kept on Mount Zion (1 Chron. 15:1, cf. 11:5). Later, Solomon moved the ark from that tent to the temple (2 Chron. 5:2). So why does David’s tabernacle become the symbol of the salvation of the Gentiles? 

First, David’s tent was particularly marked by an explosion of musical instruments and choirs, and they were described like sacrifices and priestly service (1 Chron. 16:5-6, 23:5ff, 25:1ff). In the New Covenant, bloody sacrifice that in part pointed to the division of Jews and Gentiles, was replaced by sacrifices of praise for all the nations. 

Second, David’s tent had an unusual number of Gentiles associated with it: the ark had resided for about a hundred years in Abinadab’s house (who was most likely a Gentile) and then in Obed-Edom’s house (another Gentile) who was likely adopted into the Levites to minister before the Lord in David’s tent (cf. 1 Chron. 13:7-14, 15:15-24, 16:5). 

Finally, there may be some allusion to the Feast of Tabernacles, an annual Israelite feast in tents commemorating how God brought them out of Egypt through the wilderness in tents (Lev. 23:34-43). And that fear specifically included widows, orphans, and strangers, so that they would remember God’s grace (Dt. 16:12-15). Tents reminded Israel of hospitality. 

THE DECREE ITSELF

It might seem strange for Peter and James to emphasize the fact that Gentiles need not keep the Jewish laws to be saved but then to issue some instructions. This is admittedly a heavily debated passage, but it seems best to see these instructions as helpful training wheels for learning to walk in the liberty of Christ. The eternal law of God is not burdensome at all; it is the perfect expression of His love (1 Jn. 5:3). For those who are led by the Spirit, it is as though there is no law – not because they are lawless, but because the Spirit makes righteousness a perfectly natural joy (Gal. 5:22-23). Remember the preamble of the Ten Commandments is all grace: “I am the Lord your God who bought you out of Egypt…” (Ex. 20:2). 

The basic injunctions are to keep away from all idolatry, sexual immorality, and food offered to idols, and remember, in the ancient world these things tended to be all tangled together (cf. 1 Cor. 6, 8). As Paul says elsewhere, idols are not real and the food offered to them is not inherently unclean, but people who fear them are weak and should be protected (1 Cor. 8) and those still enslaved to them should not be encouraged in idolatry (1 Cor. 10:27-28). In that fear, it’s possible to have fellowship with demons (1 Cor. 10:20). Putting all of this together, the idolatry and sexual immorality are permanent instructions aimed at the particular temptations of Gentiles, while the food instructions are particular applications aimed at the practical challenges of practicing hospitality in mixed (Jew/Gentile) churches. 

APPLICATIONS

The gospel is an open invitation to all men to come and worship the Lord Jesus. He is the Son of David, and He was crucified for our sins and rose from the dead and ascended the heavenly Mt. Zion, where His grace is available to all who believe. As the nations come, we want to hold both of these things together: all is grace and grace loves holiness. But it loves holiness with grace and not with a snarl.

One way we can illustrate this is the distinction we sometimes make between refugees from the world and evangelists for the world. The former are most welcome, the latter are not. Unbelievers are most welcome to come hungry for grace, complete with pink hair and tattoos and Biden bumper stickers. But we don’t want them coming as evangelists for their paganism. And the same thing goes for the folks who think Trump is Jesus.  

Grace wants to walk in the light. Grace is not apathetic. Grace wants to obey. Grace wants to help others grow in grace. And grace is wise. Grace starts in the heart but doesn’t stop there. This is what grace looks like.

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Man As He Ought to Be (The Inescapable Story of Jesus #6b) (CCD)

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INTRODUCTION

Mark has just told us of a king serving the head of a righteous man on a feasting dish at a royal banquet. Now he contrasts that king with a King who brings His people into green pastures and beside still waters to give them an abundant feast. The contrast could not be more stark.

THE TEXT

And the people saw them departing, and many knew him, and ran afoot thither out of all cities, and outwent them, and came together unto him.And Jesus, when he came out, saw much people, and was moved with compassion toward them, because they were as sheep not having a shepherd: and he began to teach them many things. […]

Mark 6:33ff

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

The disciples have returned from their mission, and Jesus takes them across the Galilee waters for reprieve in a private (literally wilderness) place (vv30-32). But the multitudes will not be left behind, and race to the other side, meeting Jesus as He arrives (vv33-34); He takes compassion upon them as a shepherd-less flock, and His compassion is demonstrated in His teaching them (v34). Dusk begins to descend and the disciples advise Jesus to send the multitudes away to get their own food (vv35-36). But Jesus has come to feast (2:15-19), and so He tells His disciples to get bread for the multitude, but they demonstrate the smallness of their faith by missing the point; they imagined that they must produce a vast sum of money to purchase enough bread (v37). Jesus is not deterred by the amount needed, for He is the Sower of the Word, and where the soil is fertile it will be a 30, 60, and 100-fold harvest. He asks how much bread they have, and they have 5 loaves and 2 fish, a loaf for each thousand (vs38, 44). Jesus commands the disciples to arrange the multitude into ranks of hundreds and fifties upon the green springtime grass (vv39-40). Mark gives us a prefiguring of the events of Christ’s Last Supper (Mk. 14:22): blessing, breaking, and giving the bread (v41). The multitude of five thousand men feast until filled, while the leftovers fill twelve baskets (vv42-44).

Mark doesn’t tarry at this scene but whisks us off once more, and straightway Jesus instructs the disciples to cross the Sea, dismisses the multitude, and heads off to pray alone––another hint at the events of His passion (vv45-46). But while still on the land He sees the disciples battling the choppy Galilee sea at the darkest hour of the night (according to Roman reckoning), and walks out to their rescue (vv47-48); but instead of His coming being a reassurance, they are terrified that He is a death angel. So He comes into their ship with tidings of good cheer which dispels fear, and at His coming the adversarial winds cease (vv49-51a). The disciples are in slack-jawed awe once more, and Mark tells us it is because they still hadn’t learned the lesson Jesus has been patiently teaching them in the parable of the Sower and now in the feeding of the five thousand (vv51b-52).

As they come ashore once more, this time in the area of Gennesaret, Jesus’ identity is straightway recognized. Like wildfire, people rush to bring their sick unto Him for healing, setting up healing stations in the marketplace in the towns and villages where they heard Jesus was heading. What had happened to the woman with 12 years of internal bleeding had clearly become widely known, and the sick were given hope that merely touching the tassel of Christ’s garment would bring healing; this, in fact, is precisely what Jesus allows: all who touched Him were, in Mark’s words, made whole (vv53-56).

A FEAST IN GREEN PASTURES

Mark’s narrative is like an incoming tide. Each new wave brings the water level higher. In our text, there is a repetition and expansion of earlier events and anticipation of greater––yet to be revealed––glories. Mark has told us a number of times of people responding to Jesus with awe, wonder, fear, bafflement, and even terror. Mark doesn’t want you to get comfortable with a Jesus that can fit in the palm of your hand. He is leading up to the crescendo, where Jesus will send out His disciples into all the world, and He would ascend as Lord to the Father’s right hand. But His ascension would not mean the termination of His work in the world. Mark tells us that as the disciples went forth, and preached every where, Jesus the Lord worked with them (Mk. 16:20).

Jesus told us that He was a Sower of the Word, and that where the seed of his Word lands in good, receptive soil, it produces a graciously abundant harvest of bread in seed form. That story was followed by Jesus crossing the waters to cast a demon army into the sea (a callback to the Hebrews’ Red Sea crossing under Moses). Here Jesus takes His disciples through the sea again, but this time a multitude of Israelites follow him, and Mark uses martial language to describe their seating. Once more, Mark wants the Exodus story on our mind. One commentary notes that when God led Israel out of Egypt by the way of the Red Sea they “went up harnessed” (Ex. 13:18), literally “by rows of five.” At Jethro’s counsel, Moses constituted the twelve tribes into representative divisions of thousands, hundreds, fifties and tens (Ex. 18:25). When Israel was in the wilderness, Yahweh fed them bread from heaven.

The disciples struggled with the Parable of the Sower, and now Jesus retells it with a visual demonstration of it. He is the Son of God revealing God unto the sons of Men. In Him is abundant life. Jesus sows five loaf-seeds and it becomes a thousandfold harvest of bread. In Him is bread and plenty for a cleansed Israel. Notice that the first few chapters of Mark have focused on Jesus calling and cleansing Israel. Now, a theme that started almost imperceptibly (Simon’s mother is healed in order to prepare a meal) is too big to ignore. The twelve leftover baskets make the same point as the Parable of the Sower, but the disciples still don’t quite see it. Jesus came to feast with a cleansed Israel.

UPON THE WATERS ONCE MORE

Jesus walking upon the water is often taken as a demonstration of His divine power. But God has always been revealing His power and Godhead in both the created order and by the writings of the Holy Prophets. But, Jesus in this wondrous act of walking upon water demonstrates Himself to be Israel’s long-awaited Messiah.

God put Adam in a Garden to dress and keep it and gave him the entire earth as the domain for him to subdue. Jesus compresses an entire agricultural season into an evening, and then tames the windswept sea (Ps. 8:6-8). Jesus is what Adam ought to have been. The earth is Lord’s and the fullness thereof. Therefore, Jesus is making way for man to be restored to our high office of lords of the earth under God our Creator, with Him as the High King over all other kings. But we must not miss the pathway. The way to this new life which Jesus is bringing into the world is found in the words He speaks to the disciples: “Be of good cheer: it is I; be not afraid.”

MADE WHOLE

Jesus safely brings the disciples through the sea once more, for He is the true Man, exercising dominion over land and sea. Mark gives us one last wonderful parallel with the Red Sea crossing. As Moses led them toward Sinai they came to the bitter waters of Marah, and many fell ill. Moses healed those foul waters with a tree. Now, this Greater Moses is revealed to be Jehovah Rapha, the Lord our healer. All who come to Him He makes whole.

Why? Because He came to cleanse and came to feast. Jesus calls you to come to Him in faith, and be clothed in His righteousness. This is what your baptism is. And then He invites all the earth to this table. And lest you think there won’t be enough for you, Jesus, in His Word, makes a point to tell you: there were twelve baskets of leftovers.

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