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Discipline as Genuine Love (Biblical Child Discipline in an Age of Therapeutic Goo #5)


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INTRODUCTION

In our message last Lord’s Day, we defined what we mean by the word discipline. Our subject this week is “discipline as genuine love,” and so it is important to begin with a definition of love. What does it mean to love God, and what does it mean to love our neighbor? These are the two great commandments, and so we should know what they summon us to.

To love someone is to treat someone lawfully from the heart. To love God is to do what He calls us to do, and to do it from the heart. Nowhere does Scripture identify love with our emotional “feels,” that approach being an error that is currently destroying millions. At the same time, we are called to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Dt. 6:4-9; Mark 12:30), and this would certainly include our “feels.” But this simply means that our emotions must be obedient, along with the rest of our being. But obeying commands is not the same thing as issuing commands. 

So loving God means doing what He says to do, from the heart. “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15). And His commandments include bringing up our children in the nurture and admonition, applying physical correction when necessary, and providing loving instruction all the time. 

THE TEXT

“He that spareth his rod hateth his son: But he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes” (Proverbs 13:24). 

“And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, my son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? 10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness” (Hebrews 12:5–10). 

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Words like love and hate are to be defined by the Scriptures, and not by our emotional frame of mind. There are sentiments that we would call kind, or loving, or tender, but which are toxic by the standard of the Word. A man might mix up a batch of cyanide or arsenic, and it does not much matter how much emotional sugar was put into the recipe.

And so Proverbs defines hatred of a son—a form of disowning a son—as withholding the rod. But when we think of all the people who withhold this form of correction, what is it that motivates them? Is it what we normally call “hate?” No, it would be what we would normally call sentimentalism or, in its true colors, hatred.

The Hebrews passage teaches us something similar. One of our assurances of our adoption as sons is the fact that God chastens us. He doesn’t spank the neighbor kids, but rather His own (vv. 5-6). We should endure chastening, knowing it to be a mark of sonship (v. 7). If you don’t receive this kind of correction, then that is a sign that you are a bastard, and no legitimate heir (v. 8). If we revere our earthly fathers who do this, then how much more should we do the same with the Father of spirits (v. 9)? Our earthly fathers did it with temporal goals in view, but God has our holiness in mind (v. 10). Notice that while the goals may differ, the process of discipline is the same. 

THE COLD CONCRETE OF COVENANT

The illustration here is aimed at the relationship between parents and children, but it actually applies to all your relationships. But settle it in your minds first with regard to your marriage, and the children God has blessed you with. 

You build your household the same way you build a house. Go down into your basement and look at the concrete walls. They are hard, cold, straight, and gray. There is no warmth to them at all. And because there is no warmth there, it is possible to have warmth elsewhere. Now go upstairs and look at the living room—pillows on the sofa, curtains, soft carpet, pictures on the wall. The surroundings there are truly pleasant. But the only reason anything is pleasant is because the concrete is where the concrete is, and the living room stuff is in the living room. Roll up the carpet, gather the cushions, throw on the sofa, and try to erect a stud wall on it. It will be the wobbliest thing in the world, and this explains why your family interactions are so full of so much unedifying drama. 

THE GREATEST ACT OF LOVE

What was the greatest act of love ever rendered by a human being? The answer to that question has to be the love that Christ showed for us when He laid down His life as a sacrifice for sin—doing this when we were still in rebellion, still in our sins. “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). This was the greatest act of love ever, and it is the template for measuring every other act of love (Eph. 5:25) .

And yet, Christ didn’t feel like it. “Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me” (Matthew 26:38). And on the basis of what He felt, He prayed earnestly in the Garden of Gethsemene—asking His Father three times if the cup could pass from Him. “And he left them, and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words” (Matthew 26:44). And so He obeyed the will of His Father, from the heart, and He did so for the joy that was set before Him. The joy was not behind Him, pushing, but there before Him, beckoning—the way a field of grain beckons a farmer doing the hard work of plowing the field months before (Heb. 12:11).

“Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not” (1 John 3:1). 

The love we experience in our salvation is a triune love. God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son (John 3:16). Everything the Son sees the Father doing, He also does, love included. “As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love” (John 15:9). And the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit (Rom. 5:5). The persons of the Godhead always work together in harmonious unity. 

So there was love in the assignment of the mission, there was love in the execution of the mission, and love in the application of the mission. It began with love, and it ends with love, but there was agony in the middle. Our Savior was no sentimentalist, and neither should you be.

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The Wisdom of God (The Continuing Adventures of Jesus #27) (KC)

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INTRODUCTION

The wisdom of God is foolishness to man, and we must understand deep in our bones that one of the central missions of God in the history of the world is to destroy the wisdom of man (1 Cor. 1:19). This doesn’t mean that we cannot grow in God’s wisdom, but it means that we must be incredibly skeptical of human wisdom. The goal of the history of the world is that no flesh would glory in His presence but that all would glory in Him (1 Cor. 1:29-31).

This wisdom is on display in Paul’s circumcision of Timothy, and in his obedience to the Holy Spirit leading him to the Philippian riverside to preach to a few Jewish women. 

The Text: “Then came he to Derbe and Lystra: and behold, a certain disciple was there, named Timotheus, the son of a certain woman, which was a Jewess, and believed; but his father was a Greek…” (Acts 16:1-5)

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

After parting ways with Barnabas, Paul and Silas began visiting the cities from the first missionary journey, coming first to Derbe, where Paul and Barnabas had ended that first trip, where Paul recovered after being stoned in Lystra (Acts 16:1, 14:20-21). This time in Derbe, Paul recruited Timothy to join them, whose mother was a believing Jew but whose father was a Gentile, and so Paul had Timothy circumcised to prevent giving offence (Acts 16:2-3). 

Together, they visited and encouraged the churches in Phrygia, delivering the decision of the Jerusalem council, before heading north and then west to the coast by the leading of the Spirit (Acts 16:4-7). There in Troas, Paul saw a vision of a man from Macedonia calling for help, and Luke apparently joined them, as they sailed to northern Greece and came to the chief imperial city Philippi (Acts 16:8-12). On the Sabbath, since there were apparently not enough Jewish men to form a synagogue, they went down to the river side where Jewish women gathered for prayers, and God opened the heart of a woman named Lydia to believe the gospel, she and her household were baptized, and she invited the missionaries to lodge with her (Acts 16:13-15).

CIRCUMSISING TIMOTHY

At first, this might seem confusing for Paul to circumcise Timothy, but this is a glorious illustration of gospel wisdom. Remember, prior to this, Paul had worked closely with Titus, a Greek, and had specifically resisted the implication that he needed to be circumcised (Gal. 2:3). And now, the Jerusalem Council has just explicitly ruled that circumcision is not necessary for Christians (Acts 15), and he’s reporting that to the churches and then the first thing Paul does is circumcise Timothy (Acts 16:3). A reasonable person might ask: What is up with that? The answer is in Galatians: “For brethren, ye have been called to liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another” (Gal. 5:13). Paul was willing to sacrifice his freedom to avoid giving offense in order to help build up new Christians into maturity (cf. Rom. 15:2, 1 Cor. 8:1). But when people began demanding circumcision, Paul drew a fierce line, and called that a “yoke of bondage,” and being in one of his more winsome moods, wrote that he wished those who made that kind of trouble would castrate themselves (Gal. 5:1-3, 12). 

But this decision with Timothy really is remarkable. This goes against everything in our flesh. And no doubt, a bunch of the “based bros” would have snickered amongst themselves and said things like “Ok, boomer,” as though Paul was losing his edge. But far from it: this was Paul demonstrating that he understood the wisdom of the gospel. And underline this point: he didn’t have to do it. And circumcision was no little, painless thing. Paul was willing, happy even, to lay down freedom and comfort for the sake of avoiding offense. It was only at the point where a preference was turned into a mandate, that Paul absolutely refused. This wisdom applies to drinking alcohol, dietary preferences, educational methods, health care decisions, and liturgical details, among others.

THE GOD WHO CLOSES DOORS AND OPENS HEARTS

The Holy Spirit is cited several times in this passage: not allowing them to go further into Asia or Bithynia (Acts 16:6-7) and He is implied in the vision of the man from Macedonia (Acts 16:9). John Calvin points out that it might have felt like a significant let down to have ended up in Philippi after such a fruitful ministry in Asia Minor and for there to be no synagogue to preach in, only a group of Jewish women gathering for prayer at a river side. But undaunted, they preach the gospel, and the Lord opened Lydia’s heart (Acts 16:14). We are not apostles and we are not ordinarily led with the same kind of direct instructions or visions, but we do have the Spirit’s authoritative word in the Bible and we have witnessed the same powerful miracle every time someone comes to faith in Christ. It really is incredible that the Lord of Universe is so dedicated to using human means: the Spirit directs Paul and Paul preaches, and God opens hearts. But the reason is so that we will understand more profoundly His wisdom and His glory, and our foolishness and weakness.  

APPLICATIONS

So much here is about wisdom: when to defer, when to change course, and following the Spirit. We need wisdom, and James says that we should ask since God gives wisdom generously to those who ask in faith (Js. 1:5-6). Later, James contrasts the meekness of wisdom from above with the carnal wisdom that is full of bitter envying (Js. 3:13-17). So this is the fruit of the kind of wisdom you actually have versus what you might think you have.

Wisdom is not esoteric mysticism. It is not irrational or pure luck. Wisdom is the skill or art of living well in obedience to God for the edification of His people (cf. Ex. 35:30-36:2). Edification means “building up.” God gave His Spirit of wisdom to Bezalel for the construction of the tabernacle, and the Spirit has now been poured out for the construction of the Church (1 Cor. 3). Edification is not doing whatever seems best to us or even what anyone prefers. Edification is growing in holiness. We are artisans working on God’s house, for the salvation of the world, which seems kind of silly if you think about it. And the principle means that God is using is the preaching of Christ crucified for sinners.

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The Nature of True Discipline (Biblical Child Discipline in an Age of Therapeutic Goo #4)

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INTRODUCTION

The title of this series of messages refers to child discipline. We have come to the point where we need to define that word discipline. What do we mean by it? The English word is descended from the Latin disciplina, which refers to a course of instruction, learning, or knowledge. Discipline is necessarily teleological, meaning that it is directed toward a particular end, that end being graduation, or completion, or maturity. The discipline is both positive and negative. The positive would include being given the harder work of fourth grade, not as punishment, but rather as a reward for having done so well in third grade. The negative aspect would be getting held back from recess for having squirreled around too much during class. But both the negative and positive are aiming at the same goal. The positive inculcates, and the negative corrects. It is important not to confound discipline and punishment. Punishment simply has justice in view, while discipline has correction in view.  

THE TEXT

“Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil” (Ecclesiastes 8:11).

“And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Pet. 1:5–8; cf. Rom. 5:3-5).  

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Our two texts are related to the two aspects of discipline, negative and positive. This text from Ecclesiastes has the duties of the civil magistrate in view, but the principles involved in it are directly applicable to the management of the home. There are three principles. The sentence must be consistent, in that this verse is true all the time, and should be remember all the time. Second, it needs to be effective (it is a sentence). And last, it needs to be prompt—no delays or postponements. Without this approach, life in the home will tend to slide toward moral disorder. 

Peter describes growth in virtue, which is the point of all godly child rearing. Now Christian virtue has to be grounded on the bedrock of grace, meaning that virtue is no substitute for gospel. Jesus died and rose for the wretched, and virtue is a downstream effect of sanctification. But with that said, you start with faith, and supplement it with virtue (2 Pet. 1:5), and the next layer puts knowledge on top of that virtue (v. 5). When the knowledge has dried, add temperance (v. 6). The next two coats are patience and godliness (v. 6). But this is not the end of it. Put brotherly kindness on top of the godliness, and love on top of that (v. 7). 

THAT WORD TELEOLOGY

I used the word teleology a moment ago. This simply means that there is a point to the whole thing. It is directed toward a certain outcome. When we are not thinking like Christians, we are tempted to treat any suffering we encounter as being pointless. “How could there be a point when we don’t understand the point?”

The point is maturity, that being a maturity in Christ. We are exhorted to be mature in our understanding (1 Cor. 14:20). But we are living in the midst of a full-scale revolt against maturity, with the result that we have sought to infantilize an entire generation. We have in a great measure succeeded, and we see signs of this kind of arrested development everywhere. 

So the contrast between a Christian community bringing up boys and girls in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and the outside world should not be understood simply as one wanting to have “good little boys and girls” while the other group allows them to be naughty. The situation is not static. Everyone, like it or not, is growing up into something. You are either growing up into Christ, or you are growing up into Gollum—diseased, malicious, and infantile. 

A FATAL SUBSTITUTION

People do not just abandon the obvious good of maturity all at one go. Such a folly must be accomplished in stages. The early American ethos used to emphasize character—honesty (Prov. 20:10), a work ethic (Prov. 26:16), competence (Prov. 22:29). But by gradual stages, we have come to substitute personality instead of character—and we have various ways of talking about how we despise the results: all hat and no cattle, all foam and no beer, all sizzle and no steak. 

But in the last generation or so, we have managed to make the whole thing far worse. It used to be that the personality-monger, all teeth and handshakes, and a glossy prospectus, would at least do her thing to you in person. But now she can be an Instagram “influencer” run through three different filters, and with her real life as hollow as a jug.

Character is built in the difficulties. Character grows when you are out in the rain, picking up rocks. Personality grows (or thinks it does) when it is being flattered, stroked, cajoled, and otherwise lied to. So if you are not preparing your children to identify and fight all those lies that the world is dedicated to telling, you are simply preparing one more tasty morsel for the world to devour and digest. If you want your daughters to grow up to be mothers in Israel, then you should not be content when they are acting like they have just enough squirrel brains to download the next Taylor Swift song. If you want your sons to grow up to be valiant in battle, you had better not coddle them when they complain to mom about how math hurts their feelings.  

Adulthood is when you become what you have been becoming all along.     

BY WHAT STANDARD?

The task set before every Christian is to grow up into Christ. Christ is the standard. He is the standard for men and women, and for every boy and every girl. This is the path we must run; this is the only curriculum. Our covenant children are in second grade, and their parents are in junior high. The grandparents are in high school, and have started to think about graduation. But this is a school where all the upper grades are called to help out the lower grades. 

“That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ” (Ephesians 4:14–15). 

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Convulsions & Antifragile Maturity (The Continuing Adventures of Jesus #26) (KC)

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INTRODUCTION

We live in world full of petty divisions and many foolish alliances. Maturity means growing up into a deep commitment to the truth as well as being able to tell the difference between gnats and camels. Unity at all costs will always lead to compromise, and certain wooden ideologies create brittle men and communities. We are seeking to build an anti-fragile like-mindedness, full of resilient, joyful saints, loyal to Christ and their people.  

The Text: “And some days after Paul said unto Barnabas, Let us go again and visit our brethren in every city where we have preached the word of the Lord and see how they do…” Acts 15:36-41

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

After some time in Antioch following the decision of the Jerusalem Council, Paul proposed to Barnabas that they revisit the churches from their previous missionary journey (Acts 15:36). Barnabas insisted on taking John Mark with them, but Paul disagreed since John Mark had left them on their last journey (Acts 15:37-38, cf. 13:13). Remember that Barnabas was known as the “son of encouragement” (Acts 4:36) who had initially brought Paul to the apostles after his conversion (Acts 9:27). Barnabas was sent by the apostles in Jerusalem to encourage Paul’s ministry, and the two of them had led the first major missionary journey (Acts 11:22-30, 13:2) and stood together against the Judaizers who said Gentiles had to be circumcised to be saved (Acts 15:2). In other words, Paul and Barnabas had been very close, but the disagreement over John Mark was so sharp that Paul and Barnabas separated, with Paul taking Silas and Barnabas taking John Mark (Acts 15:39-41).  

WHO WAS JOHN MARK?

John Mark was related to Barnabas and probably his nephew (Col. 4:10). This likely explains at least some of Barnabas’s strong feelings about the matter. After some time serving with Barnabas, Mark later became an apprentice under the Apostle Peter (1 Pet. 5:13), under whose authority, Mark wrote his gospel. It seems likely that Mark was the rich young ruler that Jesus instructed to sell everything, since he adds, “Jesus beholding him loved him” (Mk. 10:21), and he may be the young man who ran away naked from the Garden when Jesus was arrested, since Mark is the only gospel to mention it (Mk. 14:51-52). Mark fits the rich young ruler description when Peter shows up at his mother’s house after breaking out of jail – a large enough house to gather in, with servants (and suggests great piety since this was during a fierce persecution, Acts 12:12). At the end of Paul’s life, imprisoned in Rome, he asked for Mark, “for he is profitable to me for the ministry” (2 Tim. 4:11).

MISSION MATURITY

So what do we make of this sharp disagreement? Well, Paul certainly had a point: John Mark did apparently flake on the first missionary journey (Acts 13:13). We are not given any information about why he left. Maybe he had very good reasons; maybe he couldn’t take the heat. Paul felt so strongly about this, he believed it was worth dividing over. Given the rest of his ministry and the fact that the church commended Paul and Silas, I am inclined to side with Paul (Acts 15:40). 

Nevertheless, Paul’s conviction was not personal animosity but a matter of ministry focus (Col. 4:10, 2 Tim. 4:11). Many Christians allow compassion and sympathy to trump duty and truth. Given the threats they faced, Paul was not crazy to want a strong missionary team. Churches, businesses, and nations sometimes need to make similar decisions, which need not be a permanent appraisal of character or gifts. This is what we may call “mission maturity.” What do we need right now to be faithful? Not knowing Barnabas’s arguments, he may have been too soft, or he may have believed that he had certain familial duties that trumped Paul’s convictions. No doubt this was a hard moment, but all the indications are that both men remained faithful to God, refused to be bitter or resentful, and the mission carried on. It is possible to disagree, go separate ways, and remain in fellowship, even if we might note that it appears Paul chose the path of greater blessing.

APPLICATIONS

The word for the “sharp disagreement” is the word “paroxusmos,” which is where we get the English word “paroxysm” meaning “convulsion” or “outburst.” The only other use of the word in the New Testament is Heb. 10:24: “And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works.” Our fierce pursuit of Christ and the missions He has assigned to us (family, church, business, community), ought to be calculated to apply godly pressure on those around us to love and obey Christ more. 

In this case, the division actually did result in more love and good works: Barnabas continued discipling Mark, which apparently ultimately resulted in Mark serving Peter and writing a gospel and becoming very useful to the Kingdom. Paul ended up taking Silas with him and they had an incredibly fruitful ministry together. And this doesn’t always mean that “everybody was right in their own way;” it just means that not every disagreement, division, or mistake is fatal. Good men sharpen one another (Prov. 27:17). 

Sometimes the kindest thing you can do is fire a fellow believer, so they can find the right job, so that you can provide that job to the right person. Sometimes you give an honest, mixed review/reference for an employee or business. Sometimes, faithful correction or rebuke is not received well at first. Sometimes church discipline is true love, handing a hardened sinner over to Satan so they may be saved and protecting the sheep (1 Cor. 5:5). 

Christians are commanded to preserve the unity we have in Christ (Eph. 4:3-6), but there is another kind of unity we are required to pursue (Eph. 4:13-16). This means that as far as it depends upon us, we want to be in fellowship with all who have the Spirit, who are part of the body, who confess the Triune God. But fellowship is not the same thing as agreeing about everything or being able to work closely together. As we grow up into the fullness of Christ, we must work at holding these things together. Different missions require different kinds of unity. And the grace of God in Christ holds us all together.

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Empathy and the Clowns (Biblical Child Discipline in an Age of Therapeutic Goo #3)

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INTRODUCTION

Many Christian parents are aware of the fact that the outside world is hostile to our faith, and as a consequence is hostile to the approach we must take in bringing our children up in that faith. We are usually aware of the fact of the hostility, but we are frequently unaware of the root of that hostility. What it is that is necessitating such a radical clash? Why is it that everything seems to have come unstuck?

THE TEXT

“Therefore be imitators of God as dear children” (Ephesians 5:1, NKJV). 

“Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame; He remembereth that we are dust” (Psalm 103:13–14). 

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

One of the central ways that children learn is through imitation. This is natural and is built into the very fabric of the created order. Because God has adopted us as His children, we have been brought into the family and household of God (John 1:13; Eph. 2:19). In our first text (Eph. 5:1), we are told to imitate God as His dearly beloved children. Now we know that, in the very nature of the case, we can never duplicate what God is and does. But we are nevertheless commanded to imitate it. Our imitation of Him should naturally carry over into how we care for our own children. He has children, and we should imitate Him in how He treats them. 

Our second text provides us with one point where such imitation will be most fruitful (Ps. 103:13-14). A good father pities his children, and God is just like this also. He too pities His children, showing tender care to those who fear Him. He knows and understands our frame. He is fully aware of our frailty. He remembers that we are but dust. And in just the same way, good and godly parents are sympathetically aware of their children’s frame. Godly parents have sympathy. 

SYMPATHY & EMPATHY

So I used the word sympathy just now, and we must begin distinguishing it from the therapeutic uses of empathy. The word sympathy is of ancient use, and it means to “feel together with.” We have a sympathetic high priest in the Lord Jesus, for example. “For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling [sympatheo] of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). And we as Christians are commanded to be sympathetic: “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion [sympathes] one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous” (1 Peter 3:8). 

But the word empathy is of relatively recent coinage, and it is used in two ways. One is the man-in-the-street approach, which simply uses empathy as a synonym for sympathy. That’s okay, no bones were broken, and we shouldn’t freak out about it. 

However the other use of empathy is the use that is currently destroying Western Civilization, and is filled with toxic hatred of all that is good. As you are bringing your children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, this is the central threat that your children will face. This is what you must protect them from. It is the central danger.

This is empathy as it is being employed by the therapeutic professionals, and their use has worked its way into our laws, our customs, our HR departments, the media, and our courts. Empathy demands that we feel with others without making any judgments about them or their behavior whatever. Their feelings are to be considered paramount, and no questions asked. And if you do not provide this unconditional empathy, on demand, it must be because you are a hater. 

Here is how we may distinguish the two concepts. If a man is drowning in the river, and as he floats by, you throw him a rope, while remaining firmly on the bank yourself, that’s sympathy. If a man is drowning in the river, and as he floats by, you take a header in alongside him so that you might drown together with him, that’s empathy. The difference lies in this—with sympathy, there is an objective solution outside of, and independent of, the person’s feelings. With empathy, those feelings are the only reality that may be considered.  

WHAT THE TRUE DANGER IS

For the sake of clarity, let us call this sort of toxic empathy untethered empathy. But this raises a question. The pathos, the feeling that the person has, is untethered from what? The answer comes at us forcefully, and with the hard and bitter logic of the outer darkness. Feelings, in this understanding, are untethered from absolutely everything else.

This therapeutic heresy, which has insisted on this radical emotional autonomy, has resulted in absolutely incoherent phrases like “my truth.” The demand to untether this way has been a demand, in effect, to “make reality optional.” And it was not long after that when the focus of that coercion shifted and became “make such denials of reality mandatory.” This is the foundation that the pronoun madness rests upon. This is the cornerstone of all the transgender confusion. Take this disordered empathy away, and clown world disappears. Remove the fuel and the fire goes out.  

GRACIOUS TETHERING

What clown world in its lusts is seeking to detach us from—the fixed nature of absolutes—we as believers must be doggedly intent on embracing. “I cling to Your testimonies; O Lord, do not put me to shame!” (Psalm 119:31). The key word there is cling. All the things the worldlings are jettisoning, we must tether ourselves to. And what is that? Perhaps the word tether is too weak. How about weld?

God is the immutable one. God is a rock and His works are perfect (Dt. 32:4). “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning” (James 1:17). Second, His Word reflects the constancy of His character. “The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: But the word of our God shall stand for ever” (Isaiah 40:8). And third, the objective world reflects the character of God as well. “You who laid the foundations of the earth, so that it should not be moved forever” (Psalm 104:5). God created nature such that it has a nature. 

And this is why your child’s feelings must be taught to obey God, to obey His Word, and to obey His world. This is why we must obey our chromosomes. This is why we must disobey the pronoun madness.

If you are distraught in the course of bringing up children in this bedlam, and you have come to see empathy as a ravening monster, which it is, take heart. Your rescuer, your savior, your deliverer from this monster is sympathy. “For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with [sympathy for] our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). Always remember you have Christ.

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