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Equality & Hierarchy (Biblical Marriage Basics #2) [King’s Cross]

Christ Church on September 25, 2022

INTRODUCTION

The submission of a woman to her own husband in the Lord is considered more and more foreign in our modern world, but it is the clear teaching of Scripture and will be a mark of Christian civilization to the end of the world.

THE TEXT

“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord” (Eph. 5:22).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

While there is a general submission, a general deference and honor in the fear of God between all Christians, including husbands and wives, there is a particular submission required of wives to their own husbands. This submission of a wife is to her own husband only and not to men in general. Finally, this instruction is given with Christ over it all, limiting it and blessing it.

EQUALITY & HIERARCHY

One of the basic truths that biblically thinking Christians must get their heads and hearts around is the fact that God created the world with both equality and hierarchy at work. These are not contradictions. In fact, this dual reality in the world reflects an analogous dual reality in the Triune God. The Bible clearly teaches that the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are equally God and equal in glory and power and majesty; this is what theologians call the ontological Trinity. And at the same time, the persons of the Trinity have different roles: The Father begets, and the Son is begotten, and the Spirit proceeds from the Father and the Son. This difference or hierarchy in God is reflected in what theologians call the economic Trinity, the workings of the persons of the Trinity in history: the Father speaks and sends, the Son is spoken and is sent, and the Spirit hovers, inspires, fills, and enlivens.

In an analogous way, human society reflects both equality and hierarchy. Male and female share the image of God equally, and there is natural hierarchy in different ways: Men are required to use their strength to sacrificially lead, provide, and protect both generally and specifically. And women are to use their strength and wisdom to cultivate life and beauty in return. When men stayed aboard the Titanic, giving women seats on the lifeboats, equality and hierarchy were at work. All bore the image of God equally, and men exercised their glory in laying their lives down, and women exercised their glory by allowing themselves to be protected. The same is true in our manners and customs of standing when a woman walks into a room, holding doors, opening doors, speaking with deference and honor, etc. Therefore, when the Bible commands wives to submit to their own husbands, this is not demeaning in the slightest. An equal is submitting to an equal with joy makes their respective glories shine.

HER OWN HUSBAND

We do not believe in arranged marriages, since the Biblical pattern from earliest times included asking the woman herself if she agreed to the marriage (Gen. 24:58). And so we teach that a woman is free to accept or reject a man’s offer, with no questions asked, since the stakes really are high. Do you want to submit to this man for the rest of your life? The feminists howl and shriek that any woman would agree to this, since they much prefer women submitting to corporate bosses, judges, and politicians. But the Bible teaches that if a woman freely chooses to submit to one man, she certainly may, and she is thereby free of the claims of all others. And this really should be an incredibly freeing thing. A woman may serve her family in many different ways inside the home or outside the home, but she fundamentally answers to one man, not many. In a world of many possible interests, hobbies, vocations, or preferences, a woman’s submission to her own husband means that she is set free to be oriented to that one man. His mission, his vocation, his interests and preferences are to be her big picture plan. This does not at all obliterate her individual interests, gifts, or preferences, but God requires her to submit those to his.

IN THE LORD JESUS

Wherever Scripture requires obedience and submission, it always qualifies the command with “in the Lord” (Eph. 6:1), “as to Christ” (Eph. 6:5), or “as to the Lord” (Col. 3:23), or similar language. This is because Jesus is the only absolute and ultimate Lord. He is Lord of all. And this means that every earthly, human authority (or lord) has a Lord. This is why we call Jesus the Lord of lords (and King of kings) or Master of masters. All true earthly authority is therefore delegated and limited by the Lord Jesus. Civil magistrates have true authority that is delegated to them by the Lord Jesus for a particular task. Pastors and elders must give an account for their care of those entrusted to them (Heb. 13:7, 17). Parents have true authority over their children, but neither is it absolute or exhaustive (Eph. 6:1). And husbands have authority from Jesus to lead and love their wives well (Eph. 5:22ff).

This means that a woman should see Jesus standing behind her husband (and all inferiors can think similarly of their superiors). The specific assignment given by Jesus to husbands is to provide for the spiritual and physical well-being of their wives (Eph. 5:25-29). Under that general command, a wife must gladly submit to that leadership which is directly obedient to Jesus. When a husband leads his wife to go to church, read the Bible, practice confession of sin and forgiveness, tithe, hospitality, etc., a woman must obey. He is merely following orders. You submit to Him in the Lord, because He is submitting to his Lord in that leadership. A wife must also submit to her husband in those areas of Christian freedom and wisdom. There is freedom in where you will live, what job you will take, where/when you will vacation, style of house or car, or favorite foods or colors. A Christian woman should feel free to give her respectful input and feedback and counsel, but she should also be fully prepared to submit gladly to his decisions there. And let us underline gladly, since it is in the Lord. If the Lord has given you this man, and he is not leading you away from Christ, then you must trust the Lord. And of course, if your husband begins attempting to lead you away from Christ or into sexual or financial ruin, biblical submission cheerfully and respectfully confronts, subverts, and refuses, just like the Egyptian midwives with Pharaoh, like Rahab and the spies, and Abigail with Nabal.

CONCLUSION

It is a glory when a Christian woman submits to her own husband in the Lord. It is a glory to the woman and a glory to her husband, but it is also a glory to Christ. As we see elsewhere, it pictures the submission of Christ, and is therefore altogether lovely (1 Pet. 2:21, 3:1-6).

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By Faith We Obey

Christ Church on September 18, 2022

THE TEXT

“By faith Abraham, when he was called to go out into a place which he should after receive for an inheritance, obeyed; and he went out, not knowing whither he went. By faith he sojourned in the land of promise, as in a strange country, dwelling in tabernacles with Isaac and Jacob, the heirs with him of the same promise: For he looked for a city which hath foundations, whose builder and maker is God. Through faith also Sara herself received strength to conceive seed, and was delivered of a child when she was past age, because she judged him faithful who had promised. Therefore sprang there even of one, and him as good as dead, so many as the stars of the sky in multitude, and as the sand which is by the sea shore innumerable . . .” (Heb. 11:8–16).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Abraham obeyed God by faith (v. 8). And his obedience left him a sojourner in what was both a strange county and a promised land (v. 9). As he dwelt in tents, he looked to a well-founded city which was built by no man (v. 10). Abraham’s wife received strength to conceive a child when she was long past childbearing years. And this strength came to her through faith (v. 11). The result of this faith was children innumerable like the sand by the Pacific Ocean (v. 12) . . .

THE OBEDIENCE OF FAITH

An old Southern Presbyterian once said that the gospel is always crucified between two thieves, legalism on the one hand and lawlessness on the other. Likewise, you have one Christian who says he is all about faith and another who says he is all about obedience. All of this could be solved if we would just remember that old hymn, “Trust and Obey.” The text says that it was by faith that Abraham obeyed. You cannot have the latter without the former and you cannot have the former without the latter.

THE CITY TO WHICH WE LOOK

God told Abraham to go to place on earth. And God told him that he would give him a particular place on earth. Now Abraham obviously gave some attention to the land of Canaan. He walked in that land for some amount of time. But as he did so, he looked for a city with foundations.

STRENGTH THROUGH FAITH

A central theme in this text is not only that faith and obedience are closely linked. It is that faith is the only way to obey. Sarah was long past childbearing years. She simply couldn’t become pregnant. We have here something similar to Joshua before the people of Israel. The people say, “We will serve the Lord.” And Joshua replies, “You cannot serve the Lord.” Abraham was “as good as dead.” And Sarah herself was ninety years old. Where did the strength come from? God. And how did it come? “Through faith Sara herself received strength to conceive.”

SPRINGING STARS

God does not merely work good things in the world. He works wonders. From Abraham there sprang “so many as the stars of the sky in multitude.” And all of this from one man. Christ feeds five thousand with but five loaves and two fish. And God moves mountains with faith the size of a mustard seed.

DYING IN FAITHN

We are still near the entry in the Hebrews 11 hall of faith. After Abraham and Sara come Isaac, Jacob, Joseph, Moses, Rahab, Samson, and many more. Yet all of these died in faith not having received the promises but having genuinely embraced them. In verse 40 of this chapter we hear the reason, “God having provided some better thing for us, that they without us should not be made perfect.” Faith, then, is not merely an individual enterprise. We are, after all, children of our father Abraham. We are a covenant people, who look to the promises together and will be made perfect together. The covenant in which we find ourselves is always kept by faith.

Living in the New Covenant, we have received more of the promises than our fellow saints in the Old. The seed of the woman has come. The foundations of that city, the prophets and apostles that is, have been laid. The cornerstone himself has come. We are centuries into the building project of that heavenly city. And yet, we, like those who have gone before us, will die in faith. And we must die in faith. And though we die, yet shall we live. For we have believed in the one who is the resurrection and the life.

GOD IS NOT ASHAMED

The hallmark of those in this hall of faith is that God is not ashamed to be called their God. He has publicized his grace toward us long ago in our father Abraham, saying, “I will be God to you and to your seed after you in their generations.” He has placed his sign on us in baptism. He sets us apart from the world by feeding us bread and wine. And he has not left us without a home and without children.

Jesus says in Mark 10:29, “Verily I say unto you, there is no man that hath left house, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or children, or lands, for my sake, and the gospel’s, but he shall receive an hundredfold now in this time, houses, and brethren, and sisters, and mothers, and children, and lands, with persecutions; and in the world to come eternal life.”

These promises from our Lord were true for Abraham, the man of faith. And they are true for all of his children. So trust God and look around. You can already see God pouring out blessing upon you a hundredfold. As you take in what God is already doing for you and yours now, go on desiring an even better country. For we must go on walking (that is, we must go on obeying). And we walk by faith, not by sight (2 Corinthians 5:7).

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The Fear of the Lord (Biblical Marriage Basics #1) [King’s Cross]

Christ Church on September 18, 2022

INTRODUCTION

As we begin a series on biblical marriage basics, we begin with two primary characteristics that are often missing from marriages: gratitude and the fear of the Lord. These are characteristics that may seem opposed to one another, but if we understand the gospel rightly, they actually go quite well together.

Consider this series review for those of you who are married, and preparation for those of you preparing for marriage. You will not make much progress in Christian marriage unless you are deeply grateful to God and you fear Him.

THE TEXT

“Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ; submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God” (Eph. 5:20-21).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

As Paul exhorts the Ephesians to love one another, He identifies the heart of that love as deep and constant gratitude to God for all things, in the name of Jesus (Eph. 5:20). We give thanks to God for all things in the name of Jesus because He is the Lord Christ, the Messiah King of all things. This is also why we submit to one another in the fear of God: we are all subjects of the King (Eph. 5:21).

SOVEREIGN GRACE & PEACE

This kind of gratitude only makes sense in a world that God rules exhaustively (Eph. 1:11). Those who do not want God to be sovereign over all things are ultimately saying that there are certain things you don’t have to give thanks to God for since He didn’t do them. And this is because the sinful heart of man is always looking for some angle to take credit for (Eph. 2:9). But if we are required to give thanks to God always and for everything, then God is ultimately responsible for all things.

Does this mean giving thanks for evil? We must not condone or praise evil at all, but if even evil is under God’s sovereign rule (and it is), then yes, we must give thanks for how God even bends and governs evil to conform to His plan. Scripture says that Herod and Pontius Pilate and the Gentiles and the people of Israel conspired against the Lord and His Christ “to do whatsoever thy hand and thy counsel determined before to be done” (Acts 4:27-28). Do we thank God for the Cross – the site of the most wicked act in the history of the world? Then we can and we must respond like Job to horrific hardship: the Lord gives, the Lord takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord (Job 1:21). And if this is the case in general, then it most certainly is the case specifically when it comes to your family, your marriage, your spouse. Give thanks for all of it, always. Make lists of all the good things and meditate on those things (Phil. 4:8). Gratitude is the plow that breaks up the hard soil of hard hearts. Gratitude is what allows you to see the big picture clearly. This is how God’s peace rules and guards our hearts and minds (Phil. 4:7-9).

SUBMITTING IN THE FEAR OF GOD

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom (Prov. 1). It was the fear of God that drove Abraham to obediently take his son up the mountain to sacrifice him (Gen. 22:12). When Jacob made covenant with Laban, he swore by God, whom he called the “Fear of Isaac,” his father (Gen. 31:53). The midwives feared God and did not obey the Pharaoh’s wicked decree to expose the Hebrew baby boys (Ex. 1:21). Joshua charged Israel to fear God and serve Him in sincerity and truth and put away their idols (Josh. 24:14).

You cannot have a biblically healthy marriage apart from the fear of the Lord. You cannot have wisdom without the fear of the Lord. You will not be able to be obedient, keep your covenant vows, stand up to evil, or put away your idols if you do not fear the Lord.

The fear of the Lord teaches you to honor others rightly (1 Pet. 2:17). Husbands and wives are first of all fellow image-bearers (Gen. 1:28) and secondly, they are co-heirs of the grace of life (1 Pet. 3:7). In Christ, husband and wife are brother and sister, and there must be a deep reverence for one another in the fear of the Lord (Eph. 5:21). When God calls two Christians together, He is calling them to follow Him together. When God calls two Christians together, He is saying that they will be most equipped to serve Him together. In the first instance, your assignment is to submit to Christ, fear the Lord, and therefore, in Christ, there certainly is a mutual submission as you follow Christ together.

APPLICATIONS

There is a kind of egalitarianism that camps out on this verse about mutual submission wrongly, but there is also a kind of pigheaded patriarchalism that completely ignores it. We want to be Biblical Christians, and this means that we want to embrace this verse and obey it and all of the ones the follow it. We believe in mutual submission in the fear of God and in the headship of husbands and the submission of wives in the Lord. Deal with it.

This mutual deference and kindness flows directly out of the gospel of grace. Christ is Lord of all because He was crucified for our sins and rose from the dead. The resolution of Paul that He is persuaded that nothing can separate us from the love of God and that in all things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us – that all things must work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose – that is only possible if Christ is Lord of all things, if all things serve Him (Rom. 8). But if all things serve Him, then we must give thanks for all things, all the time, and tremble before His majesty.

And some of that majesty is particularly revealed in your spouse, in your marriage. So give thanks there; tremble before the Lord there.

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Justice, Liberty, & Love

Christ Church on September 11, 2022

INTRODUCTION

At first glance it may appear to us that justice, liberty, and love are three very distinct topics. But if we examine them in light of Scripture and a biblical worldview, we will discover that they are all addressing the same thing. Every virtue, every grace, is a manifestation of the gracious gift of the singular holiness of God. The integrated Christian life is therefore all of a piece.

THE TEXT

“For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another. This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. . .” (Galatians 5:13–23).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Paul begins by telling the Galatians that they have been called to liberty (v. 13). He immediately moves to tell them that they are not to use that liberty in the cause of self-indulgence (v. 13). Instead of serving the flesh, they are called to use their liberty to serve one another in love (v. 14). Why is this? Because the entire law is fulfilled in one phrase, which is to love your neighbor as yourself (v. 14). Paul is citing the second greatest commandment, identified as such by Jesus (Matt. 22:30), and which is taken from Lev. 19:18. But if instead of loving, they bite and devour each other, they need to take care that they don’t eat each other up (v. 15) . The thing that will enable them to avoid fulfilling these fleshly desires is what Paul calls walking in the Spirit (v. 16). The flesh and the Spirit are fundamentally at odds with one another, which prevents them from doing what they wanted to do (v. v. 17). But if they walk in the Spirit, they will not be under the condemnation of the law (v. 18). The works of the flesh are obvious (v. 19), and Paul then works through a litany of uncleanness (vv. 19-21). They range from all manner of sexual impurity and self-indulgence to thoughts of hostility and accusation. People who are like this are not going to inherit the kingdom (v. 21). The fruit of the Spirit, by way of contrast, is a unified whole of goodness—love, joy, peace, and so on. Or put another way, justice, liberty, and love (vv. 22-23).

AND SUCH LIKE

Scripture frequently gives us lists of virtues and vices. These lists should be taken with that phrase “and such like” kept in the front of our minds. The lists vary in their details, but the aroma coming off all of them is always the same.

Christian graces are described by Peter here (2 Pet. 1:5-8). Paul uses the language of fruit here in our text, but he also describes the fruit of the light in Eph. 5:9. And then in Romans 5:3-5, we see the same thing again.

Lists of clustered corruptions work the same way. Paul gives us one list in Romans (Rom. 1:29-32). And then he gives another list to the Corinthians (1 Cor. 6:9-10). And we have the list in our text. The lists never map on to one another exactly, but they all have the same kind of thing in common. It is as though a gifted writer was writing a series of articles on seedy dive bars around the country. They would all have the same feel, and the alleys behind them would all smell like urine.

This is why James tells us that if we break the law at just one point, we are guilty of breaking all of it (Jas. 2:10). The law of God is not a series of French pane windows, but is rather a plate glass window. It doesn’t matter that much where you put the hole—the window is broken. The law of God is personal, and is as unified as the character of the God it reflects. And lawlessness, the way of the flesh, is the anti-God frame of mind, and so it also is unified in that antipathy.

WHAT LIBERTY IS

Paul says in our text that we have been set free, we have been set at liberty. Now a popular (and wrongheaded) definition of liberty thinks it means doing as you like, whatever the consequences. But Paul here says that liberty is being set free to do as you ought.

Doing as you want is the way of the flesh, and it is characterized by two things. The first is that the flesh grabs at what it wants, and the second is that it accuses others for grabbing for what they want. Now when we grab, we wrong others by taking what is lawfully theirs. And when we have an accusative spirit, we wrong others by not following the scriptural requirements of due process. And what is due process? It is hearing both sides of story (Prov. 18:17). If the story is denied, it is requiring independent confirmation (Dt. 17:6). It is allowing the accused to face his accuser (Dt. 19:16)—no anonymous accusations. And if you are reading about anything on the Internet, all these standards go triple. It is to handle a matter justly, which is an outworking of love, which is how you are use your liberty.

TWO WORLDS

In a world ruled by the flesh, as Paul makes very plain here, you cannot have liberty, you cannot have justice, and you cannot have love.  As well try to grow orchids above the Colorado tree line. And this is why the plan to achieve greater liberty for Americans by opening the floodgates of porn, by legalizing pot, by telling everybody to give absolute free rein to their feelings, by urging all the drones to live on handouts, and encouraging all narcissists to live inside their own heads, was a plan that was singularly ill-fated. An indulgent society hates liberty, hates justice, and hates love. All the “liberties” they want you to have are liberties that can be indulged in a six by eight prison cell.

The way of the Spirit establishes form and freedom together. Form without freedom is despotism and tyranny. Nobody wants that. But freedom without form falls apart. What is the sense of freeing a locomotive from its tracks, putting it in the middle of a marsh, and telling it to go wherever it wants?

REFORMATION AND REVIVAL

And this is why the deliverance of our country is not going to happen apart from a great movement of the Spirit. Unless a people are cleansed of their guilt, liberated from their lusts, and empowered to do what is right by their neighbor, they cannot live as a free people. As we are seeing around us, they cannot even value the idea of a free society. They want the slavery, they want the malice, they want the injustice.

So go back to the two lists in our text. The works of the flesh are manifest. The fruit of the Spirit, as we all recognize, is equally obvious. Now take the cover off your heart. Which list is more descriptive of what you see in there? If it is a cauldron of seething lusts, as it is in the case of many, turn to Christ. He is the Savior, and He can save to the uttermost.

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Justice, Liberty, & Love (CCD)

Christ Church on September 11, 2022

THE TEXT

“For, brethren, ye have been called unto liberty; only use not liberty for an occasion to the flesh, but by love serve one another. For all the law is fulfilled in one word, even in this; Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. But if ye bite and devour one another, take heed that ye be not consumed one of another. This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh: and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would. But if ye be led of the Spirit, ye are not under the law. . .” (Galatians 5:13–23).

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