SERMON TEXT

Proverbs 12:18

INTRODUCTION

As human beings there are many things that differentiate us from the animals. First and foremost, we are made in the image of god. Our penchant for creativity and our desire to invent is derived from this. We make things, design things, prototype things, tweak, bend, and reassess. And we end up with something on our work bench or computer screen or cast iron skillet that didn’t exist the day before. We have flesh like the animals, but we also have a soul. We have been given a conscience, and an innate sense of our place in the universe. And I also think that most men are aware that our purpose in this life has something to do with each other. 

PART I – NEGATIVE TENDENCIES IN CONVERSATION

1. Complaining

Whether you go to school, work in a corporate environment, own your own business, or you’re a stay at home wife, you can always find common ground in a conversation by complaining about something or someone. Relating to one another is fundamental to relationships. We want people to celebrate our successes, empathize with our struggles, and feel sorry for our losses. But we as human beings are inclined to focus on the negative. 

1. Corrupt Speech

Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths.” I don’t think we as Christians have much difficulty discerning what is wholesome and what is unwholesome in our speech. The difficulty is restraining the tongue in the first place. For most people the latency between saying something stupid and realizing it was stupid is low. How we all wish we had the ability to instantly retract a statement said in haste. In many cases, saying nothing at all would be an improvement. 

1. Gossip

Proverbs 20:19 says, “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.” The ESV puts it this way, “Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets; therefore do not associate with a simple babbler.” Walter Winchell once said, “Gossip is the art of saying nothing, in a way that leaves practically nothing unsaid.” Again, there is subtlety here. God isn’t placing a cap on the amount of words we can use in a single day. Some people talk more, some people talk less. And talking about a person when they are not there is not inherently sinful either. The content of what we say is the issue. Does the information spread stop with you? Or, are you ground zero?

PART II – POSITIVE INTERSPERSIONS 

1. Listen and Build Up

We are to say only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. If our tongue has a tendency to be divisive, cutting, disrespectful, or full of lies, then getting it to do the opposite, encourage, complement, assist, inspire, teach. This is going to be an enormous undertaking, that will require discipline, hard work, rigor, restraint and most of all prayer. As much as we would like to saddle a wild horse and ride into the sunset, the reality is, it’s not going to co-operate until we take the time to break the horse.

1. Season with Salt

Matthew Henry said, “We are to make our conversation savory and palatable to others, so that it may be profitable to them.” We’ve all known the argumentative person who uses browbeating as a conversational cudgel. We know what it’s like to speak to someone who has no patience or is forceful. And if we don’t like it, what makes us think that the unbeliever will be attracted to it? We must be kind and gentle and loving.

1. Slow to Speak, Quick to Listen

Ecclesiastes 5 says, “Do not be quick with your mouth, do not be hasty in your heart to utter anything before God. God is in heaven and you are on earth, so let your words be few.” And from Proverbs 10, “Sin is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their tongues.” And from James 1, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Whatever your opinions are about Elon Musk, It cannot be denied that he is a dynamic figure on the world stage. One thing that I’ve noticed about him, is that when he is questioned in an interview, he often will not respond right away. Sometimes the pause is so long that it’s a bit awkward. But the silence communicates a few things. It says, “I’m thinking about your question. I’m thinking about the best way to phrase my answer, I’m thinking about the implications of my answer, and I’m more concerned about giving your question the attention it deserves than I am about not appearing socially awkward.

1. Address Each Other with Psalms, Hymns, and Spiritual Songs

I commend to you the practice of memorizing scripture, but I am also quite happy to say the obvious, some verses we should prioritize. I’m not saying don’t memorize Nehemiah, it’s the word of God too, but Paul specifically says, “Address one another with these songs.”

1. Be Gentle

Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” If you were to ask a Christian, “Who do you love the most?” The answer would be, “My wife, husband, my children, my parents.” And yet, the most vitriolic statements of anger and rage are often reserved for these relationships, the people you love the most.

CONCLUSION

As we draw to a close, I’d like to encourage you in one more aspect of Christian conversation. And that is, to initiate a conversation. There are families that are new to the area. Let’s reach out and make them feel welcome. Some of them have no family nearby. There was a time when we first moved here to Troy, there was no one out here and we went through periods of loneliness. We had no family and didn’t know anyone. If we went through it, maybe somebody else is going through it. If we see a new face on Sunday morning, let’s be sure to greet them. Send texts to your friends. Ask them how they’re doing. Let them know you’re praying for them. Call your mother. Facetime your sister. If you say you’re going to call someone back, do it. If you say you’ll text someone later, keep your word.

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