Christ Church

The Covenant Home #7: Sketch of Godly Parents

Joe Harby on

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INTRODUCTION:

When we consider what parents should look like, what first comes to our mind’s eye? Our tendency is to rush to some sort of a “works orientation,” and not to rest in faith.

THE TEXTS:

“For I am not ashamed of the gospel of Christ, for it is the power of God to salvation for everyone who believes, for the Jew first and also for the Greek. For in it the righteousness of God is revealedfrom faith to faith; as it is written, ‘The just shall live by faith’” (Rom. 1:16-17 ).

“Therefore know that the Lord your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercyfor a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments” (Dt. 7:9).

“Then they said to Him, ‘What shall we do, that we may work the works of God?’ Jesus answered and said to them, ‘This is the work of God, that you believe in Him whom He sent’” (John 6:28-29).

THE SKETCH:

Godly parents are characterized by their faith—which means they are confident, trusting, quiet, and serene. Of course godly parents exhibit good “work,” but it is the fruit of their faith. Their works exceed the righteousness of the Pharisees, but they would not dream of trusting in those works. Paul tells us in Philippians to work out our salvation, but God is at work in us both to will and to do for His good pleasure (Phil. 2:12). We are to work out what God works in. In the work of parenting, we are to work out what God works in. And nothing else.

The heart of godly parenting is therefore faith, and it is faith from beginning to end.

THE WAY IT WORKS:

The human race is divided in two categories—covenant keepers and covenant breakers. Now when we make this division, we immediately tend to assume that the covenant keepers do so on the basis of their works. But covenants with God are kept in only one way—by faith from first to last. Trusting in works is how we break the covenant.

Now in the covenant of salvation, God has been kind enough to promise you your children. You do not appropriate this promise through what you might do—although if you have appropriated it by faith, then that will affect what you do.

Consider the parallel challenge of promises for answered prayer: “Therefore I say unto you, What things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them” (Mark 11:24). These promises are not obtained from a vending machine, but the promises do mean something.

BASIC QUESTIONS:

First, covenant blessings are promised to whom?—God gives the promise to a thousand generations to those who keep his covenant. There are two aspects—those who are in covenant, and those who keep covenant.

Second, what do we do?—But what do we do to keep His covenant? What good things can we do? This brings us back to the words of Christ in John 6. This is the work of God . . . that you believe.

Third, real faith is the kind that gives way to constant believing—The trust and belief which we exhibit toward God is not a sporadic or momentary thing. This is what we see in the passage from Romans 1. The just shall live by faith.

Fourth, where does faith arise?—the Bible teaches that faith comes from hearing the Word of God. In the ministry of the Word, you hear God’s promises, and if the Holy Spirit gives you ears to hear that Word, then you will hear.

Fifth, what are we to believe?—we are to believe the Word of God, all of it, and with regard to this subject, you are to trust God at His word with regard to your children, and their children after them.

Sixth, when are we to believe?—as with other aspects of our lives, time and history matter. You cannot believe God’s promises for the salvation of a child if that child has already died in rebellion. This is another way of saying that there is a time of opportunity, and such a thing as too late. Now if a child is grown up and in rebellion as a direct result of how the child was brought up, God may still show grace and mercy. Pray that He does. But this grace would not be in ordinary fulfillment of covenant promises to covenant parents.

But the Question of Sovereignty Nags:

When parents panic, one of the questions they might ask is, “What if my children are not elect?” This question can be asked both by those who accept the doctrine of election, and those who do not, and who ask the question in order to illustrate a problem with it.
So remember the doctrine of means and ends—God does not ordain things willy-nilly. A good order and purpose attends all that He does.

Second, we all understand the principle elsewhere —if we consider the subject of evangelism, we understand that God is the final cause of everything, but that He ordains

the use of instrumental (secondary) causes to accomplish His purposes.

Third, we should simply apply this to our children—trusting God to keep His Word does not contradict His sovereignty. How could it? He made the promise as an expression of His sovereignty.

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The Covenant Home #5: The Federal Family

Joe Harby on

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INTRODUCTION:

We have already seen that marriages are covenant entities. This is no less true of the fruit of such covenant unions. The family is not established by custom, or by legislation. The family is established and defined by the Word of God alone.

THE TEXT:

And his sons would go and feast in their houses, each on his appointed day, and would send and invite their three sisters to eat and drink with them. So it was, when the days of feasting had run their course, that Job would send and sanctify them, and he would rise early in the morning and offer burnt offerings according to the number of them all. For Job said, “It may be that my sons have sinned and cursed God in their hearts.” Thus Job did regularly (Job 1:4-5).

THE ISSUE:

In this text, Job does not offer sacrifices because of a feeling of guilt, or to cover for his parental failures. This practice of his is actually described as an example of his righteousness. He does this because he knew the nature of his responsibility. But notice how far he extends his responsibilities. He stands before God on account of what any of his children might have done in their hearts. Job is not a man to make excuses.

COVENANT THINKING:

Parents frequently struggle with the issues surrounding personal responsibility because the individualism of our age has taught them to think of responsibility in either/or terms instead of both/and. But parental responsibility and the responsibility of children are not to be understood as two billiard balls which cannot occupy the same place.

We tend to think, “Either he is responsible or I am.” Or sometimes we divide the responsibility—50/50, or 70/30. But it must always, we think, add up to 100. But covenants are historical and hierarchical. Responsibility of this kind does not divide, but multiplies and ascends.

Certain key principles are essential in order to come to understand this.

This is preserving personhood—the assumption of covenant responsibility by parents does not diminish the personal responsibility of each child for everything he does and thinks; rather, it strengthens it. Beware the false dichotomy between individualism and “patriarchalism.”

It is not condemning, but liberating—as Job considered the situation, his assumption of responsibility meant that he knew exactly what he was supposed to do. This thing is hard, but not difficult. It is simple to understand, which is good, because it is hard to do. Swallow your pride, which is hard to get down, and then stand up and do a very simple thing.

We see in this the point of unity—apart from this covenantal thinking, adversarial thinking develops in the family.”

You are over there, and I am over here, and we each have our perspective.” Covenantal thinking is the biblical basis for being able to say we.

We understand the sacrifices—Job offered animal sacrifices because he lived prior to the coming of Christ. We plead the sacrifice of Christ to accompany our prayer, but the content of our prayers taking responsibility should be the same as his.

APPLICATIONS:

Every doctrine lives as it is applied, and no other way.

Obedience—this is simply a question of having an obedient mind. This is not a technique, it is a mind of wisdom. Wisdom is not canned; responsibility cannot be freeze-dried. Distinguish application from mindless conformity.

Decision-making—after a decision is made, then the entire family can say, for example, that “we are doing thus and such.” This is only possible because “we decided to do it.” The fact that the decision was made through the covenant head does not affect that unity. If my head decides to go somewhere, my feet go too.

Before the Lord—but the best place to put these truths into practice is in your prayer life. Notice that Job did not use his covenantal understanding as a foundation for nagging. He did not show up at the kids’ places, saying, “Now you all know how responsible I
feel . . .” He sacrifices before the Lord, and stands before the Lord.

Anti-covenantal, pietistic thinking works this way: “I caught my son using porn. That’s not how we taught him. He should know better. How could he .. .?” Covenantal thinking works this way: “Father, it looks as though lust has a foothold in our home. We come before You in the name of Jesus to confess our fault in this.”

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