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Anger

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Anger

Proverbs 22:24-25, “Make no friendship with an angry man, and with a furious man do not go, lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul.”

Proverbs 14:29, “He who is slow to wrath has great understanding, but he who is impulsive exalts folly.”

Hot Noses

What a good picture of anger – a hotness in the face. Something doesn’t go your way, seems to be unfair, seems not the way you want it to be, not the way that it should be, and you get hot in the face, and (according to Prov. 14:29) you get stupid.

Notice what this heat in the face is inspired by – some perception of injustice.

Two Kinds of Anger

This means that it is possible for anger to be right and godly. And it is possible for us to be consumed by an ungodly anger.

God is capable of great, righteous anger (Rom. 1:18, 9:22)

But then there is man’s anger (Gen. 4:3-8)

Other great moments in the anger of men –

Jonah 3:10-4:5. “And it got hot.”

Luke 15:28. “But he was angry and would not go in . . .”

Wrath of Man v. Wrath of God

So we see God getting angry with a perfect and righteous and holy anger. And then we see men getting sinfully angry, trying to justify their anger as right and good. James contrasts these two kinds of anger – James. 1:19-20.

First, we tell ourselves that a terrible injustice has been committed and that is what has provoked our anger.

Second, we tell ourselves that our anger, the heat of our outrage, is itself the solution to the problem.

Anger Damage

Rather than bring about correction, anger damages the situation. Anger also makes us incapable of letting go. When it is held on to and you refuse to let it go, it becomes bitterness.

Dealing with Anger

So how do we deal with the anger that rages in our hearts? First, we have to understand the difference between the anger of God and the anger of men (Rom. 12:17-19). Once you have a proper perspective, you will find yourself able to name your sin. Then once you’ve identified it, confess it. Now that you’re ready to be done sulking under the gourd tree, go into the party for heaven’s sakes. God didn’t appoint you to wrath, he appointed you to salvation (1 Thes. 5:9).

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Huguenot Hustle (State of the Church 2018 #5)

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Introduction

According to Scripture, a spiritual man is one who walks in step with the Spirit in this material world (Gal. 5:16). A spiritual man is not an ethereal man, or a wispy man, or a semi-transparent man. A spiritual man is never a worldly man (1 John 2:15), but he most certainly is a down-to-earth man. While there have been people who were so heavenly-minded they were no earthly good, it generally runs the other way. The people who have done the most earthly good have often been the most heavenly-minded. How could deep and intelligent love for ultimate wisdom incapacitate a person?

The Text

“Seest thou a man diligent in his business? He shall stand before kings; He shall not stand before mean men” (Prov. 22:29).

“Do you see a man skillful in his work? He will stand before kings; he will not stand before obscure men” (Prov. 22:29, ESV).

Summary of the Text

The Bible teaches us that cream rises. This is not because cream has anything to boast of, but rather because of how God created and governs His world. We can plant and water, but God is the one who gives the increase (1 Cor. 3:6-7).

The point is to seek the blessings of being cream, and then secondarily, after that, seeking the blessing that comes to cream. And of course, having received such blessings, we are to boast —but we are only to boast in the Lord (1 Cor. 1:31; 2 Cor. 10:17). What do you have that you did not receive as a gift? And if as a gift, then why do you boast as though it were not a gift (1 Cor. 4:7)?

So it is a gift from God to excel in your work. It is another gift from God to reap the benefits of excelling in your work. Though they usually go together (but not always), the two must not be confused, and the order of the two must not be reversed.

Vocation

One of the great accomplishments of the Reformation was the restoration of the idea of calling or vocation in every lawful endeavor. This abolished the old sacred/secular hierarchy, where it was assumed that if you were really sold out for Jesus you would be in a nunnery, or some other place that was equally high-minded. Being a merchant was kind of a tragic necessity, but somebody had to tithe.

Unfortunately, this medieval mistake is creeping back in, having made great inroads in the evangelical world. What do people who are “sold out for Jesus” do now? We call it “full time Christian work.” But what other kind is there? According to this unhappy assumption, if you don’t enlist in the Navy Seals for Jesus (NSJ), then you can always go into architecture, where you try to pay down some of the guilt for being such a partial Christian by giving donations to the real Christians.

But the doctrine of God’s sovereignty, and Christ’s universal lordship over all things, means that we need to put down this idea for good. If you are a faithful Christian, walking in the will of God, then God is advancing the kingdom of His Son through your film-editing, back-hoe operating, diaper-changing, book writing, music composing, lawn mowing, classroom teaching, study-group organizing, and sermon preparing. All of it is in the palm of God’s hand. Remember—all of Christ for all of life.

Not Kidding Yourself

But in all of these endeavors, the biblical pattern is clear. First the planting, then the harvest (1 Cor. 3:6). First the race, then the medals ceremony (1 Cor. 9:24). First the cross, then the crown (1 Cor. 9:25). First the death, then the resurrection (Rom. 6:4).

“For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith” (Rom. 12:3).

Because we live in a flattering age, too many Christians have come to think that successful entrepreneurship is their birthright, and all they have to do is be energetic enough to scoop up the rewards. And we try to sanctify the attitude that James describes as evil boasting, and we try to sanctify it with “the will of God.”

“Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain: Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away. For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that” (James 4:13–15).

Peace and Purity

When you are engaged, as we are, in seeking to build true Christian community, the first thing that will happen is that an economy will start to take shape. And this means, in its turn, that disputes will arise. Most of the gnarly disputes will be about business or finances. This is borne out in my experience, and in line with the survey we recently sent out to you all.

Test your heart first. When you are thinking about a business opportunity with another member of the church, ask yourself this question first. If your first thought is that because so-and-so is a fellow kirker he might cut you a deal, then I would plead with you as your pastor to go do business with the pagans. You’ll fit in better there. Go buy it in Spokane. That’s how you can maintain the peace and purity of the church. How many Christians think something like this? “Ooo—he has that little fish in his window. I think I’ll add 10% to whatever he invoices. He’s a brother.”

And when the attitude is right, there is only one more thing I would ask you to include. Too many Christians think that regeneration, or good intentions, or having a nice personality will somehow make your memory perfect, or will prevent you from getting hit by a truck. So suppose you get hit by that truck, and your heirs and your partners’ heirs are all trying to figure out what that handshake fifteen years ago meant. Write it down. This does not make you suspicious and unloving. God loves us perfectly, and He still wrote it down.

Christ or Mammon

If you give yourselves to the pursuit of Mammon, it will do nothing but suck you dry. If Christ gives Himself to you, and you surrender yourself in response, the opposite thing happens. “He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water” (John 7:38).

“The liberal soul shall be made fat: And he that watereth shall be watered also himself” (Prov. 11:25).

This spirit of grace and generosity does not take Mammon out of your hands, but it most certainly takes you out of Mammon’s hands. And while Mammon remains a snake, the Lord promised that we could handle serpents without harm (Mark 16:18). But apart from the sovereign grace of God, you cannot keep money from doing what money always does.

But Christ—in whose hands you are—can keep money from doing what money always does. What is impossible for man is always possible with God. But this only happens if the crucified and risen Lord is Lord of your bank account.

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Decluttering Your Marriage #2

Ben Zornes on

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Introduction:
In the message last week, we addressed how the problem of how pride and a lack of self-reflection compounds the problem of cluttered relationships. In this message we are going to focus on practical steps that will help you get things picked up, and will help you keep it that way. As things stand now, you are contemplating moving to the Swiss Alps to start your own signature ministry—you could call it Debris.

The Text:
“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: But whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy” (Prov. 28:13).

Summary of the Text:
The text contains an overt teaching about confession and the blessing of God. But there is also an unstated assumption about time which we can make explicit in paraphrase. “He who covers his sins for any length of time shall not prosper for that length of time. But whoever confesses and forsakes them immediately shall have mercy immediately” (Prov. 28:13).
This is one of those things that you might think goes without saying. And it does go without saying in any area where the prideful heart of man is not messing with us. Suppose you burned yourself, and a doctor gave you some ointment for the burn. He said, “Put this on.” Would you ask, “Should I start applying it next August? Or perhaps after the first of the year?” No. You got burned now, and so you put on the ointment now. Stop covering up your sins now and receive the blessed prosperity of God now.
One more thing, since we are talking about “covering sins.” Sins must be covered. It is not a bad impulse to want to cover them. They are shameful, and cry out for a covering. Our own lame efforts to cover them with lies, bluster, and moralistic furniture polish are not wrong because they cover, but rather because they don’t. The only thing that really covers sin is the blood of our great High Priest. Every other way of dealing with sin has to be done constantly, repetitively, over and again. And like the woman with that discharge in the gospels, the more the doctors treated her the worse it got. When we cover, the problem is that we can’t. But knowing the need for the covering is not the problem.

A Tale of Two Houses:
Those of you who have gone through my pre-marriage counseling have almost certainly heard this illustration. But given the nature of the world, I give it to you again with no apologies.

Imagine two families living side-by-side. They are good friends, the husbands work at the same company, they drive the same kind of minivan, and they have the same number of kids. The only visible difference between the homes is that one of them is apparently spotless and the other one is knee-deep in clutter.

Now life happens in both of them. And the kind of life that happens is at least comparable. The same number of tee-shirts get put on in the morning and taken off at night. The same number of shoes are worn. The same number of breakfast bowls are used. The difference between the two homes is not the rate at which things get dirty. The difference between the homes is the rate at which things get clean. In the clean home, the philosophy is “it must be done, so let’s do it now.” In the cluttered home, the philosophy is “let’s postpone this until it is bad enough to be thrown into the fright room.”

This is a parable. Your marriage is one of those houses. Which one is it?

Why Not Now?
The Bible tells us to confess our faults to one another (Jas. 5:16). This is something that should characterize life generally, but it is most obvious when done in the home. And when people refuse to do this in the home that is also glaringly obvious. Something just spilled. Wipe it up now. Something just go knocked over. Pick it up now. Something just got dirty. Rinse it out and put it in the dishwasher now.

What this is about is the confession of your own faults, period. You can confess other people’s sins all day long, and your joy still doesn’t come back. And if confess your own sin, but you are doing it only to “prime the pump” of their confession, and then you get mad because they didn’t take the hint, it should hardly be a news flash that you are doing it wrong. And if you wrap up a barbed accusation in the thin filmy gauze of an inadequate confession, this is also a problem. “I am sorry for being mildly annoyed at your egregious behavior just now.” When you confess, confess as though you are the only person in the history of the world who ever did anything wrong. You know theologically that this is not the case, but your emotions need the practice anyhow.

A Few Rules of Thumb:
We all need reminders to help us “do it now.” When Nancy and I were first married (or engaged, I forget), we agreed on some basic rules that would govern our behavior in this respect. And if you were to ask me for one bit of advice on marriage and one only, this is what it would be. Keep short accounts. Pay it down now. Rinse it now.

This is what you do when you get out of fellowship. And by “out of fellowship,” I mean annoyed, irritated, bent, frosted, angry, ruffled, agitated—with the barbs directed at the other. You have such an episode, the kind that we called “bumps.” And a bump is not a simple difference of opinion.

1. When you have had a bump, do not separate, do not part company.
2. When you have had a bump, do not let anybody into your home.
3. When you have had a bump, do not go into anybody else’s home.
4. When you have had a bump in the presence of others, use your pre-arranged hand signal.

Remember the Relationships:
These are not the rules that “nice” people follow. These are just simple reminders for sinners to pick up after themselves. And to constantly remember that apart from Jesus Christ, there is no way to pick up after yourself. He is the third party in your marriage relationship, and so do not treat Him as an abstract principle. What do you want the aroma of your home to be? You want people to walk in and feel like Christ is there.

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The Covenant Home #4

Joe Harby on

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INTRODUCTION:

We should recall that a firm understanding of the husband’s federal responsibilities does not diminish in any way a woman’s personal responsibility to be a godly wife, but rather provides a firm foundation for her.

THE TEXT:

“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones” (Prov. 12:4).

A TRUE HELP NEEDED:

Many women tend to assume that their intentions are the measurement of what they have contributed to a marriage. Because God created them to be a help to their husbands, they have every intention of being a help. But help is measured by the Word of God, and not by a woman’s intentions. We might be reminded of C.S. Lewis’ observation of a particular kind of women, i.e. the kind of woman who lived for “others.” You could tell who the “others” were by their hunted expression.

If this causes panic, do not address it by coming to your husband and asking, “Am I help to you? Really?” In a congregation this size, it is safe to say that some of you are not a help, but rather a nuisance. e live in a sinful world, and sin gets into marriages. If this concerns you, then look to the mirror of the Word. You may be able to manipulate your husband with your tears, but the Word remains constant. This is obviously not a sentimental approach to marriage, but it may help if what is needed is true repentance.

A WOMAN TO BE PRAISED:

First, a godly woman knows how to respect her husband. When God requires
our respective duties of us, he does not require that women love their husbands. Of course as Christians we are all to love our neighbors, which includes a woman’s husband. But when Scripture tells wives to focus on particular duties, what is mentioned to wives is respect, and not love. In Titus 2:3-5, the older women are told to teach the younger women to be “husband-lovers,” which should be rendered as “into husbands.” The word for love refers to a warm affection.

Second, a godly woman manages her home well—“. . . that they admonish the young women to . . . be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed” (Titus 2:3-5). “She watches over the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness” Prov. 31:27). A godly wife has

managerial responsibilities and must develop and cultivate managerial skills. She is the

executive officer of the home.

Third, a godly woman is mistress of her tongue—“She opens her mouth with wisdom, and on her tongue is the law of kindness” (Prov. 31:26). Many women tear their homes apart with their niggling, whining, complaining, resentful comments, carping, and criticizing. hen those in your household think of your words, does the phrase “law of kindness” come to mind?

Next, a godly woman is sexually responsive: “I am my beloved’s, and his desire is toward me” (Song of Songs 7:10). A woman should be a locked garden, which no one may approach but her husband. But the woman should not be a safe, one who changes the combination every other day or so. Women who are difficult to approach sexually are women who want their husbands to wander. This does not give him any right to wander, but we all have enough temptations already.

Fifth, a godly woman shops wisely and well. Her husband must provide her with the wherewithal. When he has done so, “she brings her food from afar” (Prov. 31:14). Shopping for groceries and clothing is not her entertainment; it is her vocational responsibility. Some women are good at it, while others are wasteful.

After this, a godly woman is a good cook— “She also rises while it is yet night, and provides food for her household . . .” (Prov. 31:15). As the executive of the home, she is aware of the importance of good food.

Seventh, a godly woman is theologically educated—“Let a woman learn . . . (1 Tim. 2:11 ). We sometimes wrongly emphasize that women should learn in all submission. The

point is that Paul requires them to learn, and to do so in a certain way.

Eighth, a godly woman respects masculine leadership—“Let your women keep silent in the churches, for they are not permitted to speak; but they are to be submissive, as the law also says. And if they want to learn something, let them ask their own husbands at home; for it is shameful for women to speak in church” (1Cor. 14:34-35; cf. 1 Tim. 2:11-15; Prov. 31:20). In our time, it is particularly important for women to resist the lies of feminism as dangerous heresy.

But ninth, a godly woman s involved in the mission of the Church—“And I urge you also, true companion, help these women who labored with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and the rest of my fellow workers, whose names are in the Book of Life” (Phil. 4:3; cf. Rom. 16:1; Acts 18:26). Those who say that evangelism is for the men, or that Bible studies are, or apologetics, don’t get it.

Tenth, a godly woman dresses nicely—“Her clothing s fine linen and purple” (Prov.

31:22). Modesty and decorum do not require dressing in a mattress sack. And with all the

references to perfume in the Song, a woman should take care to smell good.

Eleventh, a godly woman honors her husband with her hair—“For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man” (1 Cor. 11:7). A godly woman should know her hair is a daily sermon on how her husband is doing.

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The Covenant Home 3: Sketch of a Godly Husband

Joe Harby on

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Introduction

Our sketch of a godly husband is not to be based upon a particular set of cultural assumptions, or on certain notions created by the false elevation of certain personality types. As with everything, we must turn to the Word of God for guidance.

The Text

“An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones” (Prov. 12:4).

A Man’s Caliber

We should begin by noting that a husband should love Jesus Christ above all—“If anyone comes to Me and does not hate his father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and his own life also, he cannot be My disciple” (Luke 14:26). In the parallel passage in Matthew 10, Jesus uses the expression “loves more than me.” But here in Luke, He includes wives in the list. A man who loves his wife more than Jesus Christ cannot be Christ’s disciple. And if he is not Christ’s disciple, he will not be the kind of husband he ought to be. In other words, a wife with good sense will deeply desire to be second on the list of her husband’s priorities. In this sense, a wife who is loved as “number two” will receive a lot more sacrificial love than if she were number one.

Second, a husband must be a man, not a boy—“And I looked, and arose and said to the nobles, to the leaders, and to the rest of the people, ‘Do not be afraid of them. Remember the Lord, great and awesome, and fight for your brethren, your sons, your daughters, your wives, and your houses’” (Neh. 4:14). But in order to qualify for the fight, God required maturity of males. “Take a census of all the congregation of the children of Israel, by their families, by their fathers’ houses, according to the number of names, every male individually, from twenty years old and above—all who are able to go to war in Israel” (Num. 1:2-3). In a church where marriage is valued highly, boys should want to be married before they sire ready to be married.

In order for this to happen, a husband needs to have been prepared —marriage is a help to vocation (1 Cor. 11:8-9). A man not prepared for vocation is not prepared for marriage.

The Way a Man Stands

A godly husband assumes masculine responsibility —a man must come into marriage understanding what it is, and where he stands in the relation he is establishing. In short, the vows should be in line with the teaching of federal husbandry, and he should understand the nature of the vows he makes. He enters into marriage fully expecting to exercise leadership. He knows how to make a decision.

A godly husband is monogamous to the bone—it is not good that man be alone, and God created one woman to fix the problem (Gen. 2:18). The creation order shows God’s design for marriage. The relation of Christ and the church shows God’s design for marriage (Eph. 5:21-33). The Bible requires Christian leaders to be monogamous (1 Tim. 3:2), and they are set before the church as examples (Heb. 13:7, 17). This obviously excludes adultery and lust, but it also excludes snide comparative comments.

A godly husband is tribal—this means that he thinks in terms of his ancestors and descendants. The Ten Commandments promise blessings to a thousand generations (Ex. 20:5). Godly men pursue God’s blessings. “Now Jabez was more honorable than his brothers, and his mother called his name Jabez, saying, ‘Because I bore him in pain.’ And Jabez called on the God of Israel saying, ‘Oh, that You would bless me indeed, and enlarge my territory, that Your hand would be with me, and that You would keep me from evil, that I may not cause pain!’ So God granted him what he requested” (1 Chron. 4:9- 10). He does not think in terms of raw accumulation, of collecting trophies. And he does not boast in putting on his armor as though he is taking it off.

A godly husband is industrious—this standard of industry is not determined by the union. It affects more than whether he does an adequate job “at work.” He does not sit for endless hours, staring slack-jawed at the tube. He is not a slug at home.

A godly husband provides food and clothing—in the Old Testament law, God placed a certain restriction on polygamy. A man could not steal certain things from his first wife by taking a second. We see the essential things God requires a man to provide for his wife. “If he takes another wife, he shall not diminish her food, her clothing, and her marriage rights” (Ex. 21:10).

A godly husband is sexually attentive—this is not the same as being sexually selfish. “Nevertheless, because of sexual immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband” (1 Cor. 7:2). He understands his wife and what she desires. He listens, and is thoughtful.

A godly husband is courageous—in Neh. 4:14, we saw the duty which men who are husbands and fathers have to fight to protect their homes. We have drifted into a mentality which seeks to find defense in unattached boys. We use eighteen-year-old boys as cannon fodder. But in the biblical mentality, a society goes to war, represented in it.

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