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Launching Teenagers (To You & Your Children #3)

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INTRODUCTION

The goal of parenting is not merely that our children would submit to the standard, but rather that they would love the standard (Dt. 6:5-7). Our goal is not merely that their faith would survive intact or that they would avoid various moral hazards. Our goal is that they would rise up with us and do damage to the Kingdom of darkness, that they would be hazards to unbelief and immorality. We want to raise dangerous kids – children that hate the darkness even more than us, love Jesus even more than us, and drive the Devil and all his works further off the field.

THE TEXT

“Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows: for so he giveth his beloved sleep. Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is hisreward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man; so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: they shall not be ashamed, but they shall speak with the enemies in the gate.” (Psalm 127)

SPEAKING WITH ENEMIES IN THE GATE

The end of this Psalm implies something about how God builds houses and guards cities: He gives children that understand the mission and join us in the work (Ps. 127:5, 1). Parenting in faith (versus fear/anxiety) means looking for that fruit expectantly and encouraging it and praising it as it emerges. As children finish their elementary and middle school years, there should be less artificial consequences, more real-life consequences (e.g. chores, restitution, etc.), and more and more dialogue about everything. This means that you need to shift your tone from one of gracious authority to a tone of friendship and counsel. The goal is that your children will speak with your enemies in the gates as your peer, and you are the one primarily responsible that they be prepared to do that.

There are many warnings in Scripture about the power of words: death and life are in the power of the tongue (Prov. 18:21). Sharp words are like a dagger, but the tongue of the wise gives good health (Prov. 12:18). A wholesome tongue is a tree of life (Prov. 15:4). This applies to all people, but the way spouses talk to one another and parents to their children is potent, especially when you disagree with them or they have sinned or made some mistake. Remember also, that you are helping them prepare for their own marriages and families, so focus on loving your daughters and respecting your sons in your words, affection, and loyalty. The irony is that a certain kind of critical harping (about “high” standards) often tempts children to join the enemy, while respectful dialogue and patient, friendly sparing prepares them to speak with the enemy.

GIVING FREEDOM

Remember that the plan is for your children to leave your home, and therefore, sometime in high school you should tell your son/daughter that they are free to do whatever they want in the Lord. The goal is for them to act like adults while they are still in your home, so that if/when they run into challenges/trouble, you are right there to help before they leave. And when sin/folly occurs, resist the temptation to overreact or clamp down. Treat them the way you would want to be treated; try to remember what you were like at that age. Maybe think about how you would talk to another teenager who needs help; your teenagers should get your best version. And think about accountability in the same way: offer it, encourage it, and only insist on it, if God requires it. Related to all of this: pick your battles carefully. Way better to stay in fellowship and let some things go than to overzealously drive your children away.

BOYS & GIRLS ARE DIFFERENT (PT. 2)

Sexual temptations that face teenagers generally incline boys to desire and girls desire to be desired. This is because God made women to be the glory of man (Gen. 2:23, 1 Cor. 11:7). There is nothing sinful about noticing this, but honoring the marriage bed means not allowing lust to contaminate your mind or emotions. Chastity means not giving or taking physically or emotionally what God has not blessed. While this certainly means that men must pursue covenant fidelity, particularly with their eyes (Job 31:1), it must also be pointed out that women must pursue covenant fidelity, particularly with their emotions (Song 2:7, 3:5). Practically, parents should talk about the glory of marriage and children from the earliest days, allowing for no foolish talk of “crushes” or “who likes who” or dating before marriage is an actual possibility. More on this next week.

CONCLUSION: WHEN YOU HAVEN’T DONE IT RIGHT

When you haven’t been doing it right, the answer is to confess your sins and repent as much as you can (Js. 5:16). But begin by confessing your sin to God, seeking His forgiveness, and praying for His grace to repent and lead your family back into the light (Job 1:5). Don’t try to turn the whole thing on a dime. Talk to your spouse, and make sure you’re on the same page first. Make sure there aren’t any outstanding disagreements, grudges, or offenses between you. Then pray hard together for some time about talking with your kids.

If your children are still relatively young (elementary years), confess your sins to them, and tell them that you are going to begin obeying God by requiring joyful, prompt obedience (Eph. 6:1). Maybe pick the top 1-2 things that need work, do 1-2 weeks of practice, and then enforce it. If there are 15 things that are wrong, just start with the top ones, don’t try to tackle everything at once. God is patient with us, and often small steps of repentance have a way of multiplying and clearing up other areas.

If your children are in middle school or high school (or even grown and gone), and you haven’t been faithful, you should sit them down (or call), explain what you haven’t done right, ask their forgiveness, and then tell them that you want to begin doing what is right. You should make it plain that you will not try to force their obedience but that you will strive to honor Jesus. Ask them if they are willing to join you. Make a plan together for how you will establish new patterns of life. Keep the gospel at the center. Jesus turns the hearts of fathers and children.

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Postmillennialism for Such a Time as This

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INTRODUCTION

It would not be surprising for someone to look around at the present state of things and ask the cheery Postmillennialist, “Oh, so you think things are getting better, do you?” Many things could be said in reply. But the chief response would be, “Yes, there are giants in the land. They are very big. Too big to miss.” We are with David selecting stones by faith. We are with Esther going before the king given the bad news that Haman wants to destroy us.

You can find us alongside Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego, not bowing to false gods, knowing we will soon take a fire bath; the Son of God will be with us in the flames. We are with Israel in Egypt right up against the Red Sea before it moves out of the way—”And Moses said unto the people, Fear yet not, stand still and see the salvation of the LORD” (Exodus 14:13). Why are we cheerful, confident, and laboring in a time like this? Well, the battle belongs to the LORD and we have seen this story before.

THE TEXT

Psalm 110

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

David says that the LORD said to his Lord, “Sit thou at my right hand until I make thine enemies thy footstool” (v. 1). Jesus cites this verse when tying the Pharisees up in knots, establishing that he is David’s Lord who will soon ascend to heaven and sit down at the right hand of the LORD. He will remain there until all of his enemies are placed beneath His feet (v. 1).

Even so, while seated there, the LORD will send the rod of his strength out of Zion. He will rule on earth from heaven (v. 2). This can be accomplished because this seated Christ will have people on earth who offer themselves freely in the day of His power (v. 3). The earthly reign of Christ through His people is not something up for grabs for the LORD has sworn that Christ is a priest forever after the order of Melchizedek (v. 4). Kings will be struck through by Him, kings over the whole wide earth (v. 5-6). He will not break off His pursuit of the fleeing enemy. He will drink from the brook by the way and rise up to advance His reign (v. 7).

THE MILLENNIUM

Generally speaking, there are three views of the “thousand years” John speaks of in Revelation 20:1-6. Premillennialism teaches that Christ will return to earth and then comes an unprecedented “thousand years” of blessing for the church. Amillennialism teaches that Revelation 20 speaks to the spiritual or heavenly reign of Christ now resulting in the parallel growth of good and evil. Postmillennialism teaches that the millennium is a present reality for Christians now, as Christ reigns on earth from heaven; and Christ will return at the end of the millennium once the knowledge of the Lord covers the earth as the waters cover the sea.

The rule and reign of Christ announced in Psalm 110 is something we are in the midst of. Kings are falling all around us. We offer ourselves freely in the day of his power. And when the conquest of Christ has reached the ends of the earth, He will stand up from His throne, and return bodily.

HEAVEN AND EARTH

How you conceive of the interplay between heaven and earth is more important than it may first appear. Christ our Head is seated in heaven and we are his body on earth. Christ is our Great High Priest in heaven, in the true tent. And we are a kingdom of priests, as was promised in the Mosaic Covenant, who announce good news on earth saying, “Be reconciled to God.”

The Amillennialist position can be charged with leaving Christ’s reign up in heaven and neglecting the kingdom of God coming on earth. When Postmillennialism goes wrong, it could begin to neglect heaven in the attempt to see the kingdom come on earth. The goal is to live in the flesh by faith. As the old phrase puts it, we must be in the world but not of the world; we must be in the world and of the heaven. Our prayer is not, “Thy kingdom come in heaven as it is on earth.” It is, “Thy kingdom come on earth as it is in heaven,” and that prayer is addressed to our Father in heaven.

DOMINION

Postmillennialism highlights the need for Christians to do Christianity and not merely think it. It has a special place for blisters and callouses. One temptation we want to avoid is living in the cloud, where all of our music, documents, and text messages are stored. As Christ approached his Calvary—Tomb—Mount of Olives Exodus, He prayed to the Father saying, “Now I am no more in the world, but these are in the world, and I come to thee” (John 17:11). He went on, “I pray not that thou shouldest take them out of the world” (John 17:15).

As John Newton was making his way to glory he said, “I am still in the land of the dying; I shall be in the land of the living soon.” That day will come for us all. But while we remain in the land of the dying, we must die well. While in this body, we use it, spend it, lose it for Christ and His kingdom.

THE MELCHIZEDEKIAN PRIEST

The only way to spend and be spent for Christ is to come to Christ. We want to fill the earth and subdue it, pressing the crown rights of King Jesus into the four corners of the earth. And the only way to get there is to look by faith to one spot, the place where the Priest offered Himself as the sacrifice.

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Unto You I Lift Up My Eyes (King’s Cross)

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THE TEXT

 Unto You I lift up my eyes,
O You who dwell in the heavens.
2 Behold, as the eyes of servants look to the hand of their masters,
As the eyes of a maid to the hand of her mistress,
So our eyes look to the Lord our God,
Until He has mercy on us.

3 Have mercy on us, O Lord, have mercy on us!
For we are exceedingly filled with contempt.
4 Our soul is exceedingly filled
With the scorn of those who are at ease,
With the contempt of the proud (Ps. 123).

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Thirst for God (CCD)

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INTRODUCTION

This is a beloved Psalm which demonstrates the maturing faith of David in his later years and trials. This Psalm is vivid. Surprising. It is memorable, and it is a wonderfully balm to the aching heart.

THE TEXT

A Psalm of David, when he was in the wilderness of Judah. O God, thou art my God; early will I seek thee: my soul thirsteth for thee, my flesh longeth for thee in a dry and thirsty land, where no water is; To see thy power and thy glory, so as I have seen thee in the sanctuary. Because thy lovingkindness is better than life, my lips shall praise thee. Thus will I bless thee while I live: I will lift up my hands in thy name. My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness; and my mouth shall praise thee with joyful lips: When I remember thee upon my bed, and meditate on thee in the night watches. Because thou hast been my help, therefore in the shadow of thy wings will I rejoice. My soul followeth hard after thee: thy right hand upholdeth me. But those that seek my soul, to destroy it, shall go into the lower parts of the earth. They shall fall by the sword: they shall be a portion for foxes. But the king shall rejoice in God; every one that sweareth by him shall glory: but the mouth of them that speak lies shall be stopped.
Psalm 63:1-11

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

This is a Psalm for the wilderness. Despite physical deprivation, David longs for God with both his soul & body (v1). His longing centers on seeing God’s power & glory as displayed in the sanctuary (v2). Because God’s lovingkindness is superior to life itself, praise will arise from David’s parched lips (v3). Though physically feeble, his arms will be raised in praise (v4).
His inner man will be strengthened, as with hearty victuals, and his lips will break forth in praise as after a delicious covenant meal (v5); this all will be the case even when upon his desert bed during the midnight watch (v6). Meditating upon God’s past deliverances secures a present peace to rest under the shadow of Jehovah’s wings (v7, Cf. Rt. 2:12).
Despite being hunted by his enemies, David hunts after God and he sees that even in this it is God’s right hand which holds him up (v8). Then David turns to his companions and rouses them to courage & loyalty. Those pursuing him for destruction would themselves be destroyed (v9). Either the sword or the desert scavengers would be their demise (v10). King David would remain joyful in God, and those who would share in that glory must renew their vows of fealty to David (v11). However, any traitors will meet with a sudden end, their lying lips will be stopped (v11).

IN FAMINE OR FEAST

David provides a sharp contrast to his ancestors here. Whereas Israel’s wilderness wanderings were marked by complaining, fear of foes, compromise with idolaters, pining for Egypts leeks & onions. Here David longs for “my God.” This is the beating heart of the evangelical faith. To call God your God is the sum of true piety.
Notice the orientation of David’s longing. He longs for God, as a night-watcher for the dawn, like a desert plant sends forth its tendrils to reach the smallest droplet of moisture, like a parched & famished man searches for food & drink. But this longing has a reference point: the power and glory of God. But David is more specific than that, it is God’s power & glory as displayed in the Sanctuary of saints which fills David’s mind.
God, of course, is not confined to the tabernacle. So, although there is great glory in the congregation of saints, true piety is sustained even in times of dryness, exile, and misery. It is false piety which deludes itself into thinking it can sustain spiritual life apart from the glory of God in the midst of His people, or if it thinks that mere emotional enthusiasm is enough to sustain Christian vibrancy. Individualism and mere enthusiasm are insufficient to sustain the spiritual life of the saint.

DELIGHTING IN GOD

In our emotionally stunted age, in many respects we must relearn how to feel. On one hand there is a tendency towards embracing emotional expressiveness as emotional maturity. But it is the one who has their emotions well in hand who truly has maturity. On the other hand, the stoic approach treats any emotional feeling with suspicion.

This and many other Psalms are full of godly emotions. This sets before us how to feel rightly about God. Many well-meaning Christians try to manufacture what they perceive to be vibrant “holy feelings”. Conferences. Summer camps. The right combination of books. Trying to obtain the right posture during their morning devotionals so that the Angel Choirs are forced to break forth in the Hallelujah Chorus. All of this is missing the focal point of our piety: God is your God.

You don’t have to persuade a starving man of his hunger. Nor do you awake each morning panicked with concern that maybe you’re not hungry enough for breakfast. By being human, you are in need of God. You need Him in your rising, sleeping, in the glory of the congregation, in the sorrow of the desert. You need Him more than life, more than breath, more than food, or water, or sunshine.

This is just the way things are. Spiritually maturity does not mean the deadening of emotions, it means the ripening of them. It means to aim for the object of those desires not the feeling of desire itself. Immature emotions are like a toddler trying to the hold fourteen leashes of untrained Great Danes after a cat runs by. By delighting in God for His own sake, and despite your circumstances, your emotions are brought to heel.

MORE THAN LIFE

But God is your God because His lovingkindness has been great towards you. Indeed, until you see that God’s hesed has been great towards you, you will chase after this life as if it is the point. But David says otherwise.

The Lord’s lovingkindness is better than “lives”. In other words, group together all variety of lives which could be lived––monarchs, drunkards, business tycoons, desert monks, those who live to a ripe old age and those who are cut off in childhood. The Lord’s tender mercy to you is better than any of them whether individually or in totality. His lovingkindness is like a strong hand beneath you. You seek hard after God, all to discover that God’s lovingkindness holds steadfast to you.

LET LIARS DIE

A striking thing about the Psalms is that they don’t follow the grooves of our nice and tidy sensibilities of what “godly emotions” should look like. This is particularly evident in this Psalm. Here is glorious lines of David rejoicing in the Lord. Here are glorious metaphors. And then, instead of a sweet ending, we have the clamor of threats and the swearing of oaths.

True longing for God fits us for battle with our enemies. While you remain on earth, your worship of the Living God is not intended to end with the sweet sighings of romantics. Rather, setting your affections of Christ above (Col. 3:1-5) is how you bring about the downfall of those hunting you down.

They shall fall by the sword. They shall be left to be devoured by desert beasts. Because God is your God. David resolves, as the lawful head of Israel, to rejoice in God. He then summons those with him to either join the cause or fall in silence.

You are beset with enemies. Both inward and outward. What is that to you? God is your God. Have you been feeling parched spiritually? Go to your God, both here amongst His people and in the solitary night watches. Seek after God, and find, that all along, at every turn, it is He who has sought after you, and will deliver you from all your enemies.

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Herod (Profiles in Christmas #2)

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THE TEXT

Psalm 2

HEROD THE GREAT

The story begins with Herod the Great in Matthew 2. Herod, who is not really Jewish, is appointed King of the Jews in 40 BC. He is famous for his building projects, but even more so for his blood-thirsty greed. Herod dies in 4 BC and his kingdom is divided between three sons.
Herod has at least 10 wives, the more important are listed here.

Mariamne 1 – Is married for her family connections. She has several children, but her first son is Aristobulus, who Herod kills in 7 BC.
Mariamne 2 – Is the daughter of one of the High Priests. She has Herod Phillip, who is the unfortunate first husband of Herodias.
Doris – Herod’s first wife, who is let go. She has Antipater, killed by Herod in 4 BC.

Malthace – A Samaritan woman who has Antipas and Archelaus. They take over Galilee and Judea respectively after Herod’s death.
Cleopatra (of Jerusalem) – She has Phillip the tetrarch who takes over Herod’s northern lands after his death.

HEROD ANTIPAS

The curses on unfaithfulness last for three to four generations and we see them do this with Herod. Herod’s kingdom was divided between three sons. One of whom we hear about in the Gospel of Mark (Mark 6:14-29). We meet this same Herod a little bit later in the Book of Luke as Pontius Pilate learns that Jesus was from Galilee (Luke 23:6-12).

HEROD AGRIPPA

Antipas later has his kingdom stripped from him and his territory is given to Herod Agrippa, his nephew and the son of Aristobulus, Mariamne’s son killed by Herod the Great in 7 BC. We first hear from Agrippa in Acts 12

DRUSILLA, BERNICE, AND AGRIPPA II

Herod Agrippa had three children who we hear more from later on. In Acts 24:24 we run into Drusilla, Agrippa’s daughter, Herod the Great’s great grand daughter. Paul is handed over to Festus who needs help writing the charges against Paul and requests the aid of Agrippa, the previous Agrippa’s son. This new Agrippa shows up with Bernice, Acts 25 & 26, his sister and hears Paul out. Agrippa, though rattled by Paul’s testimony, remains hard hearted and helps Festus send Paul off to Ceasar (Nero) where he eventually will be martyred.

CONCLUSION

Herod’s story offers us a perfect example of what the conflict between the seed of the woman and the seed of the serpent really looks like. This story is going on all around us right now, but must be seen with the eye of faith.

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