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How to Be a Christian Kid #3
Christ Church on November 5, 2023
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How to Be a Christian Kid #2

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INTRODUCTION

As we examine the Scriptures on this topic, we find that the central duty that Christian offspring have is the duty of honor. This honor has different manifestations depending on the time of life, but there is always honor at the center. And this means, in its turn, that learning how to be a Christian kid means learning how to honor. 

THE TEXT

“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12). 

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Our text is the fifth commandment, first given to the Israelites at Mount Sinai in Arabia (Ex. 20:12). The commandment is repeated again in the second giving of the law, near the end of the forty years in the wilderness. In this second giving of the fifth commandment, the language is a little more expansive. “Honour thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Deuteronomy 5:16). This version refers back to Sinai, and it promises a good quality of life, not just a long life. 

When Paul quotes this commandment in Ephesians 6, he is referring to the form of it in Deuteronomy because he includes “that it may go well with thee.” He calls it the first commandment with a promise. As came out in discussion with one of you, the word for first is protos. This can mean first in a sequence, but it cannot be the meaning here—the second and third commandments also contain promises. The word protos can also mean chief, or preeminent, or best, or principal. In Luke 15:12, the robe that is brought out for the returning prodigal is the best robe, and the word used is protos. And so this fifth commandment is the chief commandment with a promise. It is the key to many of God’s intended covenant blessings for us.  

TWO STAGES OF HONOR

Scripture requires that children honor their parents, and this is a commandment that does not diminish in force as you grow older. The honor is rendered differently according to your time of life, but it does not 

When you are a dependent child, your honor is demonstrated fundamentally through obedience (Eph. 6:1). The word for obey means to heed, or to listen. So Paul says, “children, obey,” and the reason they are to obey follows in the very next verse, which is Paul’s reference to the fifth commandment. More on this in a moment. 

When you are grown up, what then? How do grown children show honor to their parents? They are to do it through practical financial support.

“For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death: But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free. And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother; Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye” (Mark 7:10–13). 

So when children are little, living at home, and mom and dad are paying the bills, the appropriate response is simply obedience. And after children are grown and independent, they are not independent of the obligation to honor, which they render by means of practical support. This is a design feature. It is how things are supposed to be.

WHAT THIS OBEDIENCE LOOKS LIKE

So if you are dependent on your parents, you are to honor them through obedience. And remember that the commandment includes your mother. Sons, you are to obey your mothers. “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother” (Proverbs 1:8; 6:20). This is the one part of your life where the patriarchy does not apply.

There are three elements to this that I would point out. 

The first is that you are to do what you are told. “But what think ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work to day in my vineyard. He answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented, and went. And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I go, sir: and went not. Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you” (Matthew 21:28–31). 

 The second is that you are to accept the discipline they apply to you. “Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?” (Hebrews 12:9). 

The third is that you are to learn how to work hard. A lazy son is one who brings shame to his parents, and it your task to bring honor to them, not shame.  “He that gathereth in summer is a wise son: But he that sleepeth in harvest is a son that causeth shame” (Proverbs 10:5). “He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, Is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach” (Proverbs 19:26).

If you do these three things as a child, you will be in a good position to do what you are called to do as an adult child. 

DOUBLE PORTION

Scripture teaches that the oldest son, even if he is the son of a less-favored wife, is to receive a double portion of the inheritance. This was because he had the primary responsibility for caring for his parents as they aged. “But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his” (Deuteronomy 21:17).

But this is a cycle. Parents lay up for children, so that the children have the wherewithal to care for them . . . and then some. “Behold, the third time I am ready to come to you; and I will not be burdensome to you: for I seek not yours, but you: for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children” (2 Corinthians 12:14). A righteous man should receive from his parents and be willing to care for them, and also to leave an inheritance for his grandchildren. “A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children: And the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just” (Proverbs 13:22). 

But life is messy, and there are times when the oldest son is unable or unwilling to do what he is called to do. What then? The rest of the family is still involved. “If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed” (1 Timothy 5:16).

“But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God” (1 Timothy 5:4, NKJV). 

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8, NKJV). 

THE GOD WHO BLESSES THROUGH CHRIST

When confronted with our responsibility to treat this commandment as the chief commandment with a promise, if we try to shy away from it all as somehow “unrealistic,” we need to confront our own unbelief. This is the chief commandment with a promise, and so our reluctance is unbelief in Christ. “For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us.” (2 Corinthians 1:20). If all the promises are amen in Him, then how not the chief of the promises?

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How to Be a Christian Kid #1

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INTRODUCTION

“Growing up Christian” is a process that revolves around a relationship between people. In most cases, you have the parents on the one hand, and you have the child or the children on the other. And, as the Scriptures plainly teach, growing up Christian is a cooperative effort. It is something that the parents are actively engaged in doing, but it is also something that calls for godly and intelligent responses from the child. And so it is that we are going to spend a few Sundays on how to be a Christian kid. 

THE TEXT

“Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right” (Proverbs 20:11). 

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

We will begin with the obvious meaning of this passage, which is that even children are to be considered moral agents. While we do need to make some adjustments for age, a fact recognized by Scripture in the use of that word even—“even a child”—the fact remains that young children live in a moral universe. There is an up and a down. There is a right and a wrong. There is purity and impurity. Even a child is known by his actions. His actions can be pure or impure, and his actions can be right or wrong. And this being the case, at bottom, there can be love for God and His ways, or a distaste for Him and His ways. Even a child is attracted or repelled.

THE FIRST DISTINCTION

If we are going to talk about being a Christian kid, as we are, the very first thing to do is define what that means. What do we mean by Christian? We are dealing with two senses of the word here.

The first sense has to do with the fact that, like it or not, you are part of the visible church. You are baptized. And when you were baptized, it was in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. You are in the church. You are a member of the covenant. That is the first sense. You are a Christian in the same way that you are not a Muslim, and not a Buddhist. You are being brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). But to put it crudely, you are a Christian here because someone brought you here, and you didn’t really have a choice. And when you were baptized, right here, we all stood up and said, “and you, still, know nothing of it.” Nobody asked your permission.

And this brings to our minds what Corrie ten Boom once said, which was that “a mouse born in a biscuit box isn’t a biscuit.” This has a good point to it, and it is one we should always remember, but it is still a tad simplistic. A traitor born in America isn’t an American . . . ah, but he is. That’s what makes him a traitor. A husband who cheats on his wife isn’t a husband . . . ah, but he is. That’s what makes him unfaithful. 

So the second sense of the word has to do with whether your heart is right before God. Are your loyalties in the right place? It was possible, for example, to be a Jew in the sense of not being a Buddhist, and yet still to not be a true Jew. A true Jew was one who was one inwardly, who had been circumcised in the heart, by the Spirit (Rom. 2:28-29).

Now, since everybody we are talking about (in this message) is in the covenant, in the visible church, how are we supposed to tell the difference? So, just to be clear, as a Christian kid, you are not required to have a convulsive religious experience, in which you hear all the angels singing, and your mother cannot even approach your bedroom because it is suffused with a numinous and golden glow. And if that ever did happen, she would probably pound on the door and say, “Honey, stop it! We’re Reformed.”  

EVEN A CHILD

So when we are evaluating the actions of a child, we should make sure to use the biblical weights and measures. And when you are evaluating your own actions, as a child, you should be doing the same thing. Don’t measure with the wrong yardstick.  

If someone is truly converted to God, this shows up in their thinking and actions. We do not produce such fruit in order to become the fruit tree, but if we have been transformed into a fruit tree, then there is going to be fruit. Make sure you get this in the right order. First the tree, then the fruit, and then the fruit inspection. This being the case, what should you be looking for? The problem with morbid self-examination is not that people check their own hearts (2 Cor. 13:5). That by itself is a good thing to do. The problem with morbid self-examination is that it uses standards of evaluation that are entirely made up—e.g. “I must not be a true Christian because I was tempted to sin once.”

LOYALTY AT THE CENTER

So let me ask you a few questions in three basic areas. 

The first is this. Do you love Jesus Christ? Are you loyal to Him? “Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory” (1 Peter 1:8). In short, what do you make of Jesus Christ? What do you think of Him? His name is on you—what do you make of that? Is that what you want?

The second has to do with your attitude toward Scripture. Are you hungry to hear about the things of God? “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby” (1 Peter 2:2). When you were born physically, you were born hungry. That is a good sign of life—a desire for food. When the people were first converted at Pentecost, they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching (Acts 2:42).

And last, do you love and honor your folks? This is a command from God, and it is a command with a promise. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1–3). Notice that he says more than that you should simply do this. He says you are to do it “in the Lord.” We will have more to say about this passage in the remaining messages.

You are a Christian kid. You are part of this body. Moreover, you are an essential part of this body. It is our desire to have all of you, as part of this body, to be a healthy part of it, and not a neglected or diseased part of it. And as part of the body, it all goes back to your relationship to the Head, who is Christ.

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