INTRODUCTION
Our culture has descended into such sexual debauchery, it is sometimes difficult for us to understand the intense trial that Joseph faced in the unexpected pregnancy of his betrothed wife. It was a scandalous betrayal with potentially massive repercussions for his reputation and livelihood, but like his ancient namesake, he was patient and judicious, and God blessed him immensely, leaving us a faithful example to follow.
The Text: “Now the birth of Jesus Christ was on this wise: When as his mother Mary was espoused to Joseph, before they came together, she was found with child of the Holy Ghost…” (Mt. 1:18-25).
SUMMARY OF THE TEXT
Betrothal was a legally binding contract in the ancient world that required a divorce to break, but it was still prior to the marriage consummation. So when Mary was found pregnant, Joseph, being a just man, determined to divorce Mary but to do so quietly in order to minimize her punishment and shame (Mt. 1:18-19). It was while he was carefully contemplating this action that the angel of the Lord appeared to him and informed him that Mary’s story was true, and the son she was carrying was the Messiah, to fulfill the prophecy of Isaiah (Mt. 1:20-23). So, at great risk to his own livelihood and reputation, Joseph obeyed the Lord and went through with the marriage, but did not consummate the marriage until after she had given birth, and indicated his wholehearted, obedient faith by naming his adopted son Jesus (Mt. 1:24-25).
THE LAW OF BETROTHED VIRGINS
In the law, it was required that a woman present herself honestly to a potential husband, and if she was presented as a virgin, but later found to have not been, her husband was free to divorce her and she could be liable to the death penalty (Dt. 24:1, 22:20-21). This is because marriage is the building block of all human society: if there is not honesty and loyalty there, you will not have it anywhere. This is why adultery also carried a possible death penalty, as might a betrothed woman sleeping with another man, if she did not “cry out” to indicate her unwillingness (Dt. 22:23).
In this case, Scripture says that Joseph was a “just man,” which means that he was aware of the law of God and committed to obeying it. When Mary came to him pregnant, perhaps trying to explain that it wasn’t what it looked like, Joseph would likely have believed that Mary had in fact slept with another man. By being inclined to divorce Mary quietly, he was choosing the minimum penalty, not charging her publicly with the crime that it appeared she had committed. While it doesn’t appear that the Jews were ordinarily allowed to enforce death penalties under Roman rule (Jn. 18:31, although Acts 7), there would at least have been severe social and religious repercussions, affecting livelihoods (e.g. Dt. 22:21, Jn. 8).
WHILE HE THOUGHT ON THESE THINGS
The justice of Joseph is also illustrated in his immediate response to these things. He is thoughtful and gracious to a woman who has apparently betrayed him and brought massive scandal upon him. In the ancient world, a betrothal was a legally binding contract because there was often a great deal of business that needed to be completed as part of a marriage: lands or houses sold or purchased, major vocational and economic matters settled, etc.
It’s likely that Joseph was not only tempted to be broken hearted, but he may have been in a position to lose a lot financially and vocationally. And if he only divorced her quietly, without publicly charging her with adultery, then he would have still taken a loss. In the face of a massive disappointment, crisis, and potential public scandal, Joseph was thoughtful (Mt. 1:20). He didn’t fly off the handle or blow up. He didn’t make a snap or rash decision.
You might be wondering why he wasn’t considering just marrying Mary. It’s likely that wasn’t a good option because A. He had no idea who the father was and what kind of scandal or trouble that would bring and B. If it was obvious that the baby wasn’t his, it could appear to some that he had actually prostituted his wife, potentially bringing even more shame and scandal on both of them and their families and their people.
While he thought on these things, inclined to divorce his “adulterous” betrothed wife quietly, he received a word from the angel of the Lord in a dream (Mt. 1:20). And the word he received was not exactly the kind of word that made everything better. It certainly exonerated Mary from any crime, but all the same potential scandal and reputational matters remained. It wasn’t exactly a story that would be helpful to most people, at least initially. Which is why the angel’s primary command is: “fear not.” The assignment was not really easier, but it was clear.
APPLICATIONS
God does not ordinarily send messages by angels in dreams. But notice that if He does, He will speak clearly. God does not “chirp and mutter” like pagan wizards (Is. 8:19). “To the law and to the testimony: if they speak not according to this word, it is because there is no light in them” (Is. 8:20). And Jesus is a greater Word than all the angels (Heb. 1). The Word of God is a lamp for our feet and light to our path. The law of God tells us what to do.
Joseph was a just man, and a model for this obedience. In a world blown about by suspicions, accusations, manipulation, hurt, rage, and real betrayal, imitate the thoughtful obedience of Joseph. The assignment may not be easy, but Scripture is clear. Be patient, kind, forgiving, and just. Be faithful to your marriage vows; honor the marriage bed; love purity. And if something immoral has happened, “cry out” (Dt. 22:23-27).
The First Christmas was a real scandal, a trial, a massive interruption in the plans of Joseph and Mary. It wasn’t like anyone expected, and it did not come like a gentle sunrise. It came more like a storm. We face interruptions and major disappointments too. And the temptations to anger and fear are significant. But those are the responses of idolatry. They assume that God is not in control, and they assume that your anger and fear are up to the challenge. But you are a lousy god, and your anger and fear only make things worse. When you are tempted in these ways, consider praying the Lord’s Prayer: meditate on the fact that you have a faithful Father in Heaven: honor Him and His Kingdom and His will and His provision and His grace.
And you can do this because Jesus was born to save His people from their sins.