INTRODUCTION
The title of this series of messages refers to child discipline. We have come to the point where we need to define that word discipline. What do we mean by it? The English word is descended from the Latin disciplina, which refers to a course of instruction, learning, or knowledge. Discipline is necessarily teleological, meaning that it is directed toward a particular end, that end being graduation, or completion, or maturity. The discipline is both positive and negative. The positive would include being given the harder work of fourth grade, not as punishment, but rather as a reward for having done so well in third grade. The negative aspect would be getting held back from recess for having squirreled around too much during class. But both the negative and positive are aiming at the same goal. The positive inculcates, and the negative corrects. It is important not to confound discipline and punishment. Punishment simply has justice in view, while discipline has correction in view.
THE TEXT
“Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil” (Ecclesiastes 8:11).
“And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Pet. 1:5–8; cf. Rom. 5:3-5).
SUMMARY OF THE TEXT
Our two texts are related to the two aspects of discipline, negative and positive. This text from Ecclesiastes has the duties of the civil magistrate in view, but the principles involved in it are directly applicable to the management of the home. There are three principles. The sentence must be consistent, in that this verse is true all the time, and should be remember all the time. Second, it needs to be effective (it is a sentence). And last, it needs to be prompt—no delays or postponements. Without this approach, life in the home will tend to slide toward moral disorder.
Peter describes growth in virtue, which is the point of all godly child rearing. Now Christian virtue has to be grounded on the bedrock of grace, meaning that virtue is no substitute for gospel. Jesus died and rose for the wretched, and virtue is a downstream effect of sanctification. But with that said, you start with faith, and supplement it with virtue (2 Pet. 1:5), and the next layer puts knowledge on top of that virtue (v. 5). When the knowledge has dried, add temperance (v. 6). The next two coats are patience and godliness (v. 6). But this is not the end of it. Put brotherly kindness on top of the godliness, and love on top of that (v. 7).
THAT WORD TELEOLOGY
I used the word teleology a moment ago. This simply means that there is a point to the whole thing. It is directed toward a certain outcome. When we are not thinking like Christians, we are tempted to treat any suffering we encounter as being pointless. “How could there be a point when we don’t understand the point?”
The point is maturity, that being a maturity in Christ. We are exhorted to be mature in our understanding (1 Cor. 14:20). But we are living in the midst of a full-scale revolt against maturity, with the result that we have sought to infantilize an entire generation. We have in a great measure succeeded, and we see signs of this kind of arrested development everywhere.
So the contrast between a Christian community bringing up boys and girls in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and the outside world should not be understood simply as one wanting to have “good little boys and girls” while the other group allows them to be naughty. The situation is not static. Everyone, like it or not, is growing up into something. You are either growing up into Christ, or you are growing up into Gollum—diseased, malicious, and infantile.
A FATAL SUBSTITUTION
People do not just abandon the obvious good of maturity all at one go. Such a folly must be accomplished in stages. The early American ethos used to emphasize character—honesty (Prov. 20:10), a work ethic (Prov. 26:16), competence (Prov. 22:29). But by gradual stages, we have come to substitute personality instead of character—and we have various ways of talking about how we despise the results: all hat and no cattle, all foam and no beer, all sizzle and no steak.
But in the last generation or so, we have managed to make the whole thing far worse. It used to be that the personality-monger, all teeth and handshakes, and a glossy prospectus, would at least do her thing to you in person. But now she can be an Instagram “influencer” run through three different filters, and with her real life as hollow as a jug.
Character is built in the difficulties. Character grows when you are out in the rain, picking up rocks. Personality grows (or thinks it does) when it is being flattered, stroked, cajoled, and otherwise lied to. So if you are not preparing your children to identify and fight all those lies that the world is dedicated to telling, you are simply preparing one more tasty morsel for the world to devour and digest. If you want your daughters to grow up to be mothers in Israel, then you should not be content when they are acting like they have just enough squirrel brains to download the next Taylor Swift song. If you want your sons to grow up to be valiant in battle, you had better not coddle them when they complain to mom about how math hurts their feelings.
Adulthood is when you become what you have been becoming all along.
BY WHAT STANDARD?
The task set before every Christian is to grow up into Christ. Christ is the standard. He is the standard for men and women, and for every boy and every girl. This is the path we must run; this is the only curriculum. Our covenant children are in second grade, and their parents are in junior high. The grandparents are in high school, and have started to think about graduation. But this is a school where all the upper grades are called to help out the lower grades.
“That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ” (Ephesians 4:14–15).