At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

My son, be wise, and make my heart glad, that I may answer him that reproacheth me.

Proverbs 27:11

The nervous system that transmits signals of shame, dishonor, kvelling pride, and so on, is a system that extends throughout the organism of the family. The Scriptures teach that there really is such a thing as family honor.

When a son does something shameful, his mother feels it deeply. When the rod is not applied judiciously, a child left to himself brings shame to his mother (Prov. 29:15). A son is fully capable of bringing shame and reproach to both his parents (Prov. 19:26).

So in this proverb, the father is rightly exhorting his son. Do right, be wise, and gladden my heart. Otherwise I might not have anything to say when my adversary comes up to me and throws the stupid behavior of a stupid son in my face.

A man is greatly blessed in his sons, but not in the raw number of them. Samuel would not have been more greatly blessed with five sons who took bribes instead of two. Aaron would not have been more greatly blessed with four sons who perished in fire from the Lord instead of two. David would not have been more greatly blessed if he had three sons rebel against his rule instead of just one. 

A man is blessed in his sons, when his quiver is full of them. A quiver holds arrows, and the quiver needs to be in the possession of and under the control of the warrior.

“Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them: They shall not be ashamed, But they shall speak with the enemies in the gate” (Psalm 127:5). 

He is contending with his adversaries in the city council, and his sons are there, and most importantly, his sons are on his side. They are standing behind him, shoulder to shoulder. On top of that, in line with our proverb here, they have not discredited their father’s cause through foolish and unwise behavior.  

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

As a mad man who casteth firebrands, arrows, and death, so is the man that deceiveth his neighbour, and saith, am not I in sport?

Proverbs 26:18–19

The plain meaning of this proverb is that there is a clear boundary when it comes to practical jokes. It is one thing to “deceive your neighbor” in order to arrange for that surprise retirement party at the office, and which everyone appreciates as soon as the surprise is sprung. It is quite another to make him believe that his car was stolen, only to discover that it is mounted on cinder blocks in his front yard, and filled with packing peanuts. When the victim of the joke is brought abreast of the situation (and victim is the right word to use), the perpetrators cannot defend themselves by saying, “Can’t you take a joke?”

But there are other applications as well. There are many situations where people indulge in what might be called kidding/not kidding comments. They say something that appears to have a clear subtext, one with a bit of malice or resentment in it, and then when called on it, appeal to the joke value. Say that a husband says that tubby wives are the best, and when this gives offense, he says that he was “only joking, sheesh.” This is not quite as much on the nose as the proverb describes because the nature of “deceiving your neighbor” varies. In a practical joke, the deception is part of the set-up to the joke, and here the deception lies in maintaining that the punch line was the joke, when actually the punch line was a thin veneer covering over a mean comment. 

However, the principle that the proverb points to is the same in both instances. Do not create some mayhem, and then try to clean up the damage with an appeal to humor.   

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

A prudent man foreseeth the evil, and hideth himself: But the simple pass on, and are punished.

Proverbs 22:3

This is one of those proverbs that requires us to say, after we have submitted to it, something like “yes, but on the other hand.” What do I mean?

First, let us consider the common sense wisdom that this proverb expresses. A thoughtful and prudent man thinks about the road ahead, and takes appropriate precautions. He watches his step. In the words of the proverb, he “hides himself.” He protect himself. He buffers for the future. The simpleton on the other hand, goes down the road whistling, hands in his pockets, and gets what is coming to him, good and hard. Thus far the proverb. 

Where does the yes but come in? Well, didn’t Jesus teach us that each day has enough trouble of its own? “Take therefore no thought for the morrow: for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof” (Matthew 6:34).

Take no thought for tomorrow, you prudent guy in Proverbs! And isn’t Jesus telling us to walk the path of the simpleton and fool, trusting God for the morrow?

Well, no. Jesus is talking about the man who, in the name of prudence, has all of the anxieties and worries of next week wrapped tight around his axle. And Proverbs is talking about the man who can’t be bothered with simple preparations because he is lazy. 

Take this another way. It is fine to make no preparations for tomorrow, provided you know what you are doing. It is fine to make preparations for tomorrow, provided you are doing it in obedience to the wisdom of Solomon, and not in obedience to your own carking worries. 

It is sinful to make no preparations for what everyone can see coming. It is sinful to make preparations for your tiny idol of anxiety, with triple bolts on the door. It all depends, in other words.

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

A gift in secret pacifieth anger: And a reward in the bosom strong wrath.

Proverbs 21:14

Here is a proverb that many Christians consider somewhat angular. We could just take it as a detached observation about how the world usually runs, but that seems inadequate. Like other proverbs, this seems aimed at directing our behavior. So is the Bible encouraging us to . . . give bribes?

But we have to make distinctions. It is obviously a sin for an official to take a bribe. That would mean that he was declining to do his duty unless someone sweetened the pot for him. But what if someone is giving a bribe to get an official to do his duty? 

So when it comes to taking a bribe, the testimony of Scripture is plain. Let’s start with a different proverb conjoined with other passages. 

“He who is greedy for gain troubles his own house, But he who hates bribes will live” (Proverbs 15:27). “And you shall take no bribe, for a bribe blinds the discerning and perverts the words of the righteous” (Exodus 23:8). “Surely oppression destroys a wise man’s reason, and a bribe debases the heart” (Ecclesiastes 7:7). “For I know your manifold transgressions and your mighty sins: Afflicting the just sand taking bribes; Diverting the poor from justice at the gate” (Amos 5:12).

These are all examples of men distorting justice in order to monetize their position for themselves. But let us say the situation is completely reversed. You are trying to get out of some kind of a hellhole of country, and the customs official is about to impound your daughter unless . . . and he looks at you meaningfully. A gift there would simply be to induce him to do what he ought to have done for free. It is not in the same category as the first scenario, which perverts justice.

At the same time, if you are a missionary to a country that runs on bribes, and it seems impossible to get anything official done without them, it is necessary to keep in the forefront of your mind the fact that this is one of the reforms that the Christian faith promises to bring—a system that does not have to be bribed and cajoled into doing right. And this means that you should seek to learn (from the more experienced missionaries) the various tricks that they have learned to enable them to avoid having to give bribes. This is needful because the system of bribes and bribery is a corrosive in that society, and the sooner it is gone the better.

It should also be mentioned that the proverb speaks of using the secret gift as a means of assuaging anger or wrath, and perhaps that is an indication for when a gift would be appropriate. If a greasy bureaucrat is just trying to make a little extra money, it might be best to stand your ground and say no. Just sit in his waiting room area. You have all afternoon.  

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.

Proverbs 21:19

Rather than live with a woman who refuses to be a sweetheart, a man would prefer to go live in the howling wilderness, and to deal with whatever he finds there.

There are two important things we can gather from this, but before getting to that, let us say something else first by way of qualification. I know that there are many wives who might get their hackles up over a proverb like this, and they might want to say that living with a contentious and angry man is not exactly a picnic either. This is exactly right, but even to raise the question reveals one of the more common errors of our generation. This proverb is not a slam against women or wives, but rather a rebuke of those women who are hard to deal with. It is not a claim that women generally are hard to deal with, and that the men are just great. Rather it is an acknowledgement that women can sin, and that it is very destructive when they sin in this way. It is a statement that women who sin are women who sin. You can’t say everything in every proverb, and there are plenty of other places in the book of Proverbs that itemize the foolish things that men do. Nevertheless, this one is about carping women.

So what can we glean from this proverb? The first thing is the importance of peace in the home. Not only so, but we see how important the peace of the home is to men. Men, taken as a class, want to stay out of conflict with their wives. They (usually) hate it. Rather than lead their wives and families the way they were instructed to do, they would rather retreat . . . to man caves, to hunting trips (in the wilderness), to poker night with the boys. Spending time with friends occasionally is of course just fine, but getting away from home is a problem.

The second thing is the nature of the problem. When you are in a wilderness, you can pitch a tent. You can build a fire. You can build an igloo. Even in a wilderness, it is possible to carve out a cozy spot. That cozy spot is in a wilderness, but it can still be a cozy spot. But when a man is dealing with a contentious and angry woman, there is no cozy spot. She is right in there with you. Unlike when you are in the wilderness, there is no place to go.

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