At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

“The heart knoweth his own bitterness; And a stranger doth not intermeddle with his joy” (KJV).

“The heart knows its own bitterness, and a stranger does not share its joy” (NKJV).

Proverbs 14:10

Whenever we encounter difficulties, one of our perennial temptations is to complain that others simply “do not know what it is like.” This is very true, as this proverb attests, but it is also beside the point. It is self-evident from the very fact of our individuality. If we knew what it was like to be somebody else, we would be that person. 

We can learn sympathy, of course, but when we sympathize we are reasoning by analogy, and what we grasp of the other person’s affliction is usually just a rough approximation.

The proverb tells us that our troubles are our own, and that our joys are our own. Inside each individual is a black box, and other people don’t have any access to it. We know, of course, that this does not include God, who knows and searches all hearts exhaustively. In fact, God knows our hearts better than we do. But the same thing cannot be said of others.

One of the reasons that our “rough approximations” of how others are suffering can be way off is that pain thresholds vary. Internal emotional resources vary. Think of it as a cash flow problem. A poor man who only has five dollars is going to be distressed by a ten dollar invoice. A rich man wouldn’t care about that at all—pocket change. He can be tempted to look on the poor man’s distress with contempt because “ten dollars is nothing to get worked up about.” Well, yes, for you. And the poor man can look with contempt at the rich man, assuming that it is not possible for him to have any troubles at all because he has a million dollars. But it never occurs to him that a man with a million dollars might be required to pay someone 1.2 million dollars. Big planes can also crash. No one outside knows the bitterness of a man’s heart.

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

“Smite a scorner, and the simple will beware: And reprove one that hath understanding, and he will understand knowledge.”

Proverbs 19:25

There are two different paths to knowledge outlined here—one for the person who does not know, and the other for the person who already has some level of understanding.

The first is the simple person who learns through second-hand consequences. The scorner has a brass forehead, and rushes headlong into trouble. That kind of person has to be corrected with a blow. This does not necessarily teach him anything, but it can be successful in stopping him. But the fact that it does not teach him does not make it a worthless exercise. His circumstances can still serve as a cautionary tale. The simple person does not have a brass forehead, and doesn’t understand much. But he does understand that he does not want to go through what is happening to the scorner. So you strike the scoffer, and the simple learn wisdom. So (for example) parents should realize that when they spank one child, they are actually teaching all of them. 

The other kind of learning comes through reproof. If you reprove someone who already has understanding, his understanding grows and increases—he will understand knowledge. This is a knowledge that comes less violently than in the first circumstance. There is sometimes a temptation to not reprove some who obviously has some level of knowledge. It is easy to assume that they will “boo doubt figure it out themselves.” But the Scriptures encourage us to reprove the knowledgable. We are not to do this randomly “just because,” but when it is called for, a reproof of such a person is truly valuable. 

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

“A slothful man hideth his hand in his bosom, and will not so much as bring it to his mouth again” (KJV).
“A lazy man buries his hand in the bowl, and will not so much as bring it to his mouth again” (ESV).

Proverbs 19:24

The book of Proverbs famously takes a dim view of laziness. Just as good luck often attends the person who hustles while he waits, so in a similar fashion bad luck follows a lazy person around. The ball often bounces in exactly the wrong direction. But these are the external misfortunes that afflict the lazy person.

This proverb is addressing something distinctly different. This is where the lazy person has the thing he needs right there with him, but his laziness trips him up. He wants to eat, and the food is right there in the bowl in front of him, but he is too overcome with weariness to lift it to his mouth. We have a similar proverb in English, where it is said of a lazy fellow that it could be raining porridge and he would have forgotten his bowl. Even when a little effort would yield disproportionate results, the lazy man is unwilling to rise to that minimal effort. It hurts his feelings to think about it.

The proverb is obviously using overstatement, as with the other English proverb that someone was lazier than Ludlum’s dog, who would lean his head against the wall to bark. We have probably never met someone who is so lazy that he literally found his fork intolerably heavy. But there are people who come close. 

Why do people like this exist? The proverb is likely not directed at the lazy people themselves, who would be too lazy to read the book of Proverbs. The proverb is best aimed at those industrious people who feel sorry for lazy people, and who subsidize and enable the problem.  

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

“The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; And it is his glory to pass over a transgression.”

Proverbs 19:11

One of the temptations that comes to upright people is the temptation to notice everything. Because such a person has high standards for himself, he notices when others fall short of the high standards. And from noticing to commenting is but a short step.

This is one of those places where it is necessary to repent of what we thought were our “virtues.” Too often a person with particular standards feels like he is compromising if he just “lets something go.”

But Scripture teaches us that there are many occasions where “letting it go” is the right thing to do. “And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins” (1 Peter 4:8). This is not something that can happen once in blue moon—if there is a multitude of sins, then the occasions for overlooking them will be a multitude of occasions. And the person who does this is described by Peter as one who has fervent love. This is not a compromising Christian, just the opposite. 

This proverb tells us that overlooking a slight, or a wrong, or a transgression is not just okay. It is called a glory when a man of discretion does this. This means that when we really want to talk to someone about their faults, we are probably not in any spiritual shape to do so. And even if we manage to get through it without sinning, we are not taking the higher road, the road that Scripture here describes as glorious.

There are of course times when sin must be confronted. We are given instructions about church discipline for a reason. But it appears from the teaching of Scripture generally that the wise man is going to do a lot more covering than confronting. This is a lesson that goes down hard.

And incidentally (or not so incidentally), covering does not mean accumulating resentments. The covering erases the slights. 

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

“He that turneth away his ear from hearing the law, even his prayer shall be abomination.”

Proverbs 28:9

The great Puritan Richard Sibbes once addressed the question of why God at times does not hear our prayers. The answer is straightforward. Why should God listen to us when we refuse to listen to Him?

That is the import of this proverb. If a man turns away from listening to what God has revealed to us in His law, then why on earth would God heed that man’s prayers. The relationship between man and God must be a reciprocal one—a mutual relationship between persons. Otherwise the word “God” simply represents a warehouse where a sinner wants to come and get things when he wants them.

In the first chapter of Proverbs, Wisdom cries out at the gates of the city. She says that if simpletons and fools accept her reproof, then she will pour out her spirit on them. She will make her words known to them (Prov. 1:23).  

“Because I have called, and ye refused; I have stretched out my hand, and no man regarded; But ye have set at nought all my counsel, and would none of my reproof:” (Proverbs 1:24–25). So why should Wisdom listen to us when we refuse to listen to wisdom?

The men in Malachi wondered why God refused to accept their sacrifices and offerings. They covered the altar of the Lord with tears, wondering why He no longer regarded their offering (Mal. 2:13). Why? Because the Lord was a witness to how they had treated their wives, clean contrary to what the Lord required of them. “If you don’t listen to me,” God in effect says, “why should I listen to you?”

The standard is straightforward, and not that hard to understand. “If I regard iniquity in my heart, The Lord will not hear me” (Psalm 66:18).

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