At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)
“Debate thy cause with thy neighbour himself; And discover not a secret to another: Lest he that heareth it put thee to shame, and thine infamy turn not away”
Proverbs 25:9-10
“Debate your case with your neighbor, and do not disclose the secret to another; Lest he who hears it expose your shame, and your reputation be ruined”
Proverbs 25:9-10
This is a proverb that warns us about that dangers of talking out of school. If you have a dispute someone, your neighbor, say, this text says that you should go to him directly. Deal with him, the one with whom you differ.
While you are doing this, Scripture says, deal with him alone. Do not play to the nickel seats. Do not canvas the surrounding population to see what they think. In short, do not be political.
The assumption made here by the Word of God is that if word of your behavior gets out, it will be seen for what it is—disgraceful. When a problem arises, one of the ways you can identify the responsible people in the situation is by looking closely at how they handle the situation with others. Apart from the merits of the dispute, are they handling the manner of the dispute responsibly?
It is important not to let the dispute spread any more broadly than it needs to. There are many who like to style themselves as peacemakers when they are actually agitators. Say that someone comes to the pastor with “a concern.” You know, one of those. They talk about it for a while, and when the pastor fails to give satisfaction, what should we conclude when the person then says something like, “You know, there are many others who feel the same way that I do . . .”
To which the pastor should say, “Ah, I see. You’ve been talking to a lot of people about this then?”
That’s not peacemaking, and it truly is disgraceful.