Family

How to Be a Christian Kid #3

Christ Church on November 5, 2023

INTRODUCTION

One of the best ways for a Christian child to honor his father and mother is to surpass them. If a child outgrows his parents in love for Christ, in knowledge of the Bible, and in a true grasp of what the gospel is all about, no one who truly loves God can begrudge it. And there is a paradox involved in it. One of the best ways to surpass your parents is to make sure you look up to them. The first will be last, and the last first.

THE TEXT

“Give ear, O my people, to my law: Incline your ears to the words of my mouth. I will open my mouth in a parable: I will utter dark sayings of old: Which we have heard and known, and our fathers have told us. We will not hide them from their children, shewing to the generation to come the praises of the Lord, and his strength, and his wonderful works that he hath done. For he established a testimony in Jacob, and appointed a law in Israel, which he commanded our fathers, that they should make them known to their children: That the generation to come might know them, even the children which should be born; Who should arise and declare them to their children: That they might set their hope in God, and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments: And might not be as their fathers, a stubborn and rebellious generation; A generation that set not their heart aright, and whose spirit was not stedfast with God” (Psalm 78:1–8).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

This psalm contains much that we could consider, but I would like to draw out one basic lesson from the first eight verses. This passage outlines for us how a younger generation might surpass their parents in spiritual maturity. Asaph begins by exhorting the people to listen to the words of his mouth (v. 1). The next verse is cited by Matthew (Matt. 13:35) as an explanation for why Jesus taught in parables. Here is it “dark sayings of old,” and in Matthew it is things “kept secret from the foundation of the world.” Whatever else this is, it is big. The people have heard and known about them (on the surface at least) because their fathers told them (v. 3), and the sayings will be passed on to the generation to come (v. 4). What will be passed on? The answer is the praises of the Lord, His strength, and His wonderful works (v. 5). A testimony was established in Jacob, and a law in Israel, which was a command to “our fathers” (v. 5), that they might teach their children (v. 5). This was so that the next generation would know, and in turn instruct their children (v. 6). To what end? That they might hope in God, not forget the works of God, and keep His commandments (v. 7). This would have the good effect of enabling them to not be like their fathers—stubborn, rebellious, wobbly, and with a spirit that was not steadfast (v. 8).

In sum, the fathers hand down the memory of God’s mighty works so that their children might learn to not be like them. Honor your parents. Respect them. Look up to them. Listen to them. And do not imitate their frailties and sins.

NO HUMAN AUTHORITY IS ABSOLUTE

The Bible teaches us that human authorities are true authorities. They have been given this position by God. This is true of civic authorities (Rom. 13:1-7), it is true of church leaders (Heb. 13:7, 17), and it is true of parents (Dt. 5:16). God has established these three institutions directly, and He commands us to honor them all.

At the same time, Scripture also teaches us that this is a fallen world, and so it has to be recognized that no human authority is absolute. There are times when all these authorities must be disobeyed and disregarded. Their authority is not absolute. This is true of civic authorities (Acts 5:29), it is true of church authorities (3 John 9), and it is true of family authority (1 Sam. 25:25). And this means, children, that your parents do not have the authority to require you to sin, and they do not have the authority to require you to be silent about their sin against you or your siblings (e.g. if there is real abuse). Of course, check your motives before resisting. But how do you do that? One of the best ways is to be as obedient as possible in all the areas where there is no conflict between your family culture and Scripture.

HOLDING YOU TO YOUR BAPTISM

The fact that you are still young does not set aside the requirements of Christian discipleship. When the apostle Paul wrote the book of Ephesians, he wrote to all the different kinds of members. He wrote to husbands and wives. He wrote to slave owners. He wrote to slaves. And he wrote to kids. You are part of this. It is not the case that you are not called to be diligent Christians only after you get to a certain height or weight. The name of Christ is on you now.

You are not old enough to have long-established habits of reading the Scriptures and praying to God. That might seem like a disadvantage, but if you flip it around it means you have the great advantage of establishing these habits while the concrete is still wet. You are in the same position that Timothy was in. “And that from a child thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation through faith which is in Christ Jesus” (2 Timothy 3:15). The word for child here is brephos, which would be better translated as infant. Timothy heard the Scriptures from infancy.

But as you do, make sure you grasp the inner logic. Make sure you learn the secret that was hidden from the foundation of the world. “The secret of the Lord is with them that fear him; And he will shew them his covenant” (Psalm 25:14).

BRING IT ALL BACK AROUND

In the sixth chapter of John, the Lord Jesus has an encounter with the people that illustrates how the dark sayings of old both hid and transmitted a knowledge of God. Jesus saw that the people were going to make Him a king by force (John 6:15), and so He evaded them. They tracked Him down at Capernaum, and Jesus said they were as interested as they were because “they did eat of the loaves, and were filled” (v. 26). Don’t labor for that kind of food, but rather for the food that lasts forever, Jesus said (v. 27). They asked Him what they should do in order to work the works of God (v. 28). Jesus told them that they should believe on the one who was sent (v. 29). The people replied by asking for a sign, quoting our psalm as they did so (Ps. 78:24). And Jesus said that Moses did give them bread from Heaven, but what they really needed was the true bread from Heaven (vv. 32-35). And He was that true bread.

How to Raise Christian Kids

Christ Church on October 29, 2023

INTRODUCTION

We have had a couple of sermons on how to be a Christian kid as of late. And this sermon is designed to stay in a similar vein while coming at the matter from the opposite end. The kids among us need to know that they are Christian kids and what to do about that. Likewise, parents need to know their kids are Christians and how to raise them as such.

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Ephesians 6:4

Paul tells fathers that they must not provoke their children to anger. Instead, they must go in the other direct entirely. That direction involves them raising their children in both nurture and admonition. But not just any nurture and admonition: the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

KNOW

The first thing necessary in order to raise children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord is to know that they are in it. That word “in” is an important preposition. It refers to location. Where are your kids, Christians? Well, they are in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. They are not outside of it. They are not strangers, aliens, and exiles. Paul does not address them as such. This truth, however, of the insider status of the Christian’s children is not without controversy in our times. So, we need to examine the covenantal foundations of such a claim.

When God covenanted to Abraham in Genesis 17:7, He did only swear an oath of eternal life to the man Abraham. He also swore this oath to his household: “And I will establish my covenant between me and thee and thy seed after thee in their generations for an everlasting covenant, to be a God unto thee, and to thy seed after thee.” God wanted His sworn oath to Abraham and his children to be so plain, He established a sign of that covenant: “This is my covenant, which ye shall keep, between me and you and thy seed after thee; Every man child among you shall be circumcised. And ye shall circumcise the flesh of your foreskin; and it shall be a token of the covenant betwixt me and you” (Genesis 17:10-11).

If we were to ask Abraham, “When God covenanted to be God to you and to bless you, were your children included as members of that covenant promise?” His answer would clearly be, “Why yes, indeed, they were.”

So it is with us, who are children of Abraham. As Paul says, our children are holy (1 Corinthians 7:14). They have been set apart into the realm of the holy people of God.

FAITH

What are we to do given this kind covenant grace of God? That is a good question, and the answer is quite plain: We are to believe His promise. We are the just ones. And the just shall live by faith. Examples of this parental faith abound.

Consider Job, who sacrificed for his children. He did so by faith, looking for the blessing of God on his household. Then, there is Joshua, who announced, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” This was not Joshua presuming upon God, as if he assumed God would do something for him and his household that God had not promised. No, Joshua had a promise. And it was not a special and individual promise that God made only to Joshua. Joshua was living by faith in the covenant promises God made to his father Abraham and his seed. We see that this covenant promise extends to Gentiles in the new covenant as Paul and Silas declared to the Philippian jailer, “Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved, and thy house” (Acts 16:31).

This is the faith we exercise in covenant baptism vows when asked, ” Do you trust in God’s covenant promises on his/her behalf, and do you look in faith to the Lord Jesus Christ for his/her salvation, as you do for your own?

This faith in God’s promises must continually be exercised. We do not only exercise it once. And for this reason, we must have the fuel for this faith, namely the word of God.

RAISE

It has been wisely said, “We are saved by faith alone, but the faith that saves is never alone.” So it is with raising Christian kids. Imagine James stepping in at this point and saying, “Show me your parenting faith without works, and I will show you my parenting faith by my paddling of the hind parts.”

There are three directives embedded in the call to raise children in the Lord. First, fathers must not provoke their children to wrath. Quite simply, don’t frustrate them. Don’t be a wet blanket on their joy. This kind of thing happens when fathers forget the covenant promise God has made to them and their household.

Second, fathers must raise children in the nurture of the Lord. This means that fathers must nourish their children, teach them, show them the way. If you don’t feed them, they will be hungry. This takes time and effort, and grace abounding. So this is when you look to God for the manifestation of that glorious promise that God will “turn the hearts of fathers to the children, and the heart of children to their fathers” (Malachi 4:6).

Third, fathers must raise children in the admonition of the Lord. That means that fathers must correct their children. They must not only teach them what to do. But they must teach them what not to do, what to avoid.

All of this teaching and correction must not be the father’s, although he is the one who must do it. But the training itself must be the Lord’s. This we can do because He has set His face toward them to bless them to a thousand generations.

The Nations are Clean (The Continuing Adventures of Jesus #16) (King’s Cross)

Christ Church on August 13, 2023

INTRODUCTION

In many ways, this passage is the hinge of the book of Acts. The whole book describes the continuing work of Jesus, and just as He promised, the goal is a mission from Jerusalem to the ends of the earth. Everything has been pointing to this: all the languages at Pentecost, Stephen’s message that God is not bound to one place, the conversion of the Samaritans, the baptism of the Ethiopian, the conversion of Saul, and now we come to Peter’s vision.

But while Jesus had clearly sent the apostles out to preach the gospel and disciple the nations, it had not yet been made clear that this meant that the Gentile nations could remain Gentile nations without converting to Judaism and still be full members of the household of God. Here, God declares the unclean nations to be clean. This means the nations can come to God. And since Jesus is Lord of the nations, this means that they will come.

The Text: “There was a certain man in Caesarea called Cornelius, a centurion of the band called the Italian band, a devout man, and one that feared God with all his house, which gave much alms to the people, and prayed to God always…” (Acts 10:1-20)

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Luke emphasizes the faithful devotion of this Roman soldier, as does the angel who appears to him (Acts 10:1-4). The angel does not give Cornelius the plan, but he does give him instructions for finding out the plan from Simon Peter, which Cornelius then explains to his servants and a devout soldier in his house (Acts 10:5-8).

While they are on their way, Peter is in prayer on the rooftop and sees a vision of a great sheet being let down from heaven to earth, full of all kinds of ceremonially unclean animals (Acts 10:9-12). The Lord spoke to Peter by name, inviting him to “kill and eat,” and when he declined, the voice insisted by saying that what God has made clean, do not call common/unclean – and this happened three times (Acts 10:13-16). Then, while Peter was puzzling over the vision, the men from Cornelius arrived at the house asking for him, and the Spirit ordered Peter to go with them, doubting nothing (Acts 10:17-20).

WITH ALL HIS HOUSE (OBEDIENCE)

Nations are built out of families and households, and the kind of nation you get depends on the kind of households that make it up. Family is the building block of human society. You cannot have virtuous society apart from virtuous families. You cannot have faithful leaders who fear God and hate covetousness and all lies, if you do not have many families led by such men.

Not only was Cornelius a devout man, but he led his whole household in this piety (Acts 10:2, 4, 7). It seems all the more remarkable given the notorious reputation of Roman soldiers for often being brutal, rapacious idolaters. Here was a man who likely risked his job, his reputation, and his fortune in worshiping the God of the Jews. While all is grace, the angel of God specifically notes the obedient devotion of Cornelius in prayers and alms as noticed by God (Acts 10:4). Obedience put Cornelius in the path of God’s plan and blessing.

We are saved by grace, but we are saved for good works that God prepared for us to walk in, and God loves to reward the good works He prepared for us. We earn nothing, but like a faithful Father, God blesses obedience. Honoring father and mother is the first commandment with a blessing (Eph. 6:2-3). In a difficult marriage, a godly woman seeks the attention of God by her gentle and quiet spirit (1 Pet. 3:4). A godly man takes responsibility for his household and is particularly zealous to remain in fellowship with God and one another (Josh. 24:15, Job 1:5). We are not often given the whole plan, but we are given instructions for finding out the plan. Daily obedience in our families puts us in the path of God’s plan and blessing.

WHAT GOD HAS MADE CLEAN

The clean/unclean laws were part of the schoolmaster-law to lead Israel to Christ (Gal. 3:24, 4:2). It taught Israel to pay attention to what they ate, what they touched, who they had fellowship with in order to teach them that sin has infected everything and if it is not cleansed, it is infectious and it will only spread to everything. And you cannot appear before God in that unclean state. But when Christ came, Israel graduated from that schoolmaster and came into maturity, where the real clean and unclean distinctions must now be made not between different kinds of animals or people, but between sin and righteousness (2 Cor. 6:14-18). Sin is what destroys our fellowship, but we have fellowship with God and one another as we are cleansed by the blood of Christ, confessing our sins to God and one another (1 Jn. 1:7-9).

Food and drink are central signs of our fellowship, and everything is sanctified by the Word of God and thanksgiving (1 Tim 4:3-5). So we must not destroy fellowship for the sake of food and drink (Rom. 14:19-21). This can be done through a pharisaical strictness, demanding of others what God does not require. Or this can be done through pharisaical laxness, not requiring of others what God does require. Demanding that others cater to your food fads or preferences and making fellowship difficult is disobedience to this principle: rise and eat. And parents must not let children become little food tyrants or become tyrants themselves. Those with scruples about alcohol may not bind the consciences of others, but in our community, it is far more likely for drinking to become an occasion for harm. Honor God and love your neighbor.

CONCLUSION: LORD OF THE NATIONS

The vision that Peter saw means that the nations are clean. The nations do not have to become Jewish in order to come to God. Russians, Japanese, Somalis, and Americans may come to the Father, through faith in Jesus Christ. The Church is therefore a multinational body from every tribe and tongue, but the nations still bring their own unique treasures into the Kingdom: people still live in tribes and speak different languages (Rev. 7:9, 21:24).

This cuts against fleshly prejudice and fleshly uniformity. And the best way to learn this dance is by building devout households that stay in fellowship and are ready to obey. Love and serve those closest to you first, beginning with the neighbors in your own house, working your way out from there, including your nation. And in this way, all of the nations will come to Christ.

The Glory of Parenthood

Christ Church on June 5, 2022

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INTRODUCTION

The word “glory” means heavy, and so it is, but then when you receive the glory of God, you find that you can- not imagine it any other way. The yoke of Christ is light and only gets lighter, but the burden of the world, the flesh, and the devil is crushing. The gift of children and parenthood is heavy, but it is heavy like a table full of food, like a basket full of fresh fruit.

THE TEXTS

“…and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him: and lo a voice from heaven, saying, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (Mt. 3:16-17).
“…though he were a Son, yet learned he obedience by the things which he suffered…” (Heb. 5:7-9).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXTS

God the Father is the perfect Father and Jesus is the perfect Son, and yet we see here at least two principles that we can apply in our families. The first is the glory of parenthood and the parent/child relationship. While the Trinity is certainly a mystery, and the Father and the Son are one God in a way that parents and children are not, our covenantal union with our children is a true analogous union. And if God the Father was right to proclaim His love for His Son, and His pleasure in His Son, how much more so is it important for us to do so in a fallen world? And the fact that the Spirit descends at the same moment, highlights the glory of that love and pleasure. Second, in Hebrews, we see that even the perfect Son learned obedience through the things He suffered. Adam was cut open before he met Eve and there was a dragon in the Garden, before any sin entered the world. If Jesus endured discipline to learn obedience, how much more must our children, if we want them to come into His glory?

OBJECTIVITY OF THE COVENANT

The world loves to talk about “unconditional love,” but there is no coherent foundation for that notion in an evolutionary worldview. If you are in charge of making your own world, your own meaning, your own happi- ness, your own identity, then nothing is fixed, nothing is given (including family). This is the goal of the Leftist revolution of the last 60 years: seeking to redefine human life, marriage, gender, and therefore, parenthood, but this means that if the Federal Government is now the final arbiter of what any of these things mean, it is functionally also claiming to be the judge of what a family is, what parents are, and whether a child actually belongs to certain parents or not. Always remember that a rejection of God’s authority is the first move in vy- ing for His job. It is not whether there will be a god; but which god will it be.

The true and living God has created the world with fixed realities, and one of those is the covenantal nature of all things. All things are objectively in a covenantal relationship with God. You do not get created by God and then exist in a neutral space, with the universe waiting breathlessly to see whether you “consent” to reality. Even if most Christians reject that radical version of existentialism, there has still been a strain of it in modern evangelicalism, where we put all the emphasis on “deciding” for Christ. But Christ is risen from the dead, and our children are “holy” to God (1 Cor. 7:14). Paul does not say that the Ephesian parents should wait and see whether their children want to be Christians before bringing them up in the nurture and admonition of the

Lord (Eph. 6:4). We are not waiting to see if they “consent” to Christ, any more than we wait around to see if they consent to food or air or love. It is absolutely true that they must embrace all of these good gifts, including a personal, vibrant faith in Jesus, but they are objectively members of the covenant by baptism. You do not wait to see if they choose to be your children or members of your family, and neither does God. So the question is: can you look down at your son or daughter right now and say the same words the Father said of His Son? And do those words echo in Heaven? You must, and they do, by faith alone in the Father, Son, and Spirit.

SOME BASICS OF DISCIPLINE

Hebrews says that the Lord chastens and scourges every son that He receives, and therefore, if you are not chastened, then you are bastards and not sons (Heb. 12:5-8). Discipline is how parents prove that their children belong to them, and when they discipline their children in the Lord, they are also proving that they belong to Jesus. The Bible clearly teaches that the opposite is also true: failure to discipline is a form of hatred and therefore a false gospel (Prov. 13:24). Hebrews also says that this discipline must be painful, and it must yield the peaceable fruit of righteousness (Heb. 12:11). The particular requirement of the Bible is the use of a rod of discipline: “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him” (Prov. 22:15). “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you strike him with a rod, he will not die. If you strike him with the rod, you will save his soul from Sheol” (Prov. 23:13-14). The rod is not the only tool in a parent’s tool- box, but it is an important one. All discipline must be done calmly, cheerfully, and with biblical justice. Another basic principle of parenting is that it is easier to teach and train the younger they are: “Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Prov. 22:6).

Parenting should consist of lots of joyful teaching and training and practice. Think of yourselves as coaches: lots of praise, lots of drills, show them how to do it, run it again. The rod is particularly for acts of defiance, refusal to obey when you are sure they know exactly what you are requiring and know how to do it. Many children will give you at least one good battle (sometimes multiple battles), and parents are required by God to win because God commands our children to obey their parents so that they may be blessed (Eph. 6:1-3).

CONCLUSION

Zephaniah 3:17 says: “The Lord your God is in your midst; the Mighty One will save. He will rejoice over you with great joy; He will quiet you with His love. He will rejoice over you with singing.” The prophet says that when God comes, He comes singing. But He doesn’t just come singing, He comes singing a song of rejoicing, a song of celebration. But this is the mind-blowing thing: it’s a song of rejoicing over sinful people. And this is exactly what happened in Jesus.

The song is boisterous, flamboyant, abundant, and loud. It’s like a father standing on a table in a public place, announcing his love and joy over his family. It’s so loud and joyful and embarrassing and wonderful. And this is how God determined to save the world. He determined to save the world through singing a sea shanty, a rollicking bar tune, with fiddles and drums and dancing over His Son in the water, on the cross, and now at His right hand. He is still singing, and the words go like this: free grace, free grace, free grace. And that’s our glory.

The Glory of Marriage (King’s Cross Church)

Christ Church on May 29, 2022

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INTRODUCTION

As we have noted previously, sinful humanity hates God, and therefore since it cannot actually strike God, it strikes His image wherever it can be found. This is why there is such vehemence against men and women, and this is why the covenant of marriage has been a central target. The Christian response to all of these attacks should be to double down, recognizing the potency of being joyful men and women and honoring marriage in particular.

THE TEXT

“This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband” (Eph. 5:32-33).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

This is the summary of what Paul has just said in more detail: a husband is to love his wife like Christ loved the church, and a wife is to respect and submit to her own husband as the church submits to Christ in all things (Eph. 5:22-24). The particular picture given is that of a head and body (Eph. 5:23), and that image is applied in the command to husbands to love their wives as their own bodies (Eph. 5:28-29). This is because “we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones” (Eph. 5:30). And all of this is based on the biblical teaching that when a man and woman marry, they become one flesh (Eph. 5:31).

HEAD & BODY

One of the key concepts that couples have to continually lean into is covenant. We say this word a lot, but what we mean is the notion of responsibility. Individualists can only think of personal guilt, but it turns out that individualism is already a form of abdication (“am I my brother’s keeper?” Gen. 4:9). We are not mere BBs rolling around in this world; we are individuals united in various covenants (family, church, nation) and covenant-like relationships (schools, businesses, and other associations). In each of these covenants, there are leaders and members. And the thing to note here is that leaders are responsible for what takes place in the organization.

Authority flows to those who take responsibility, but it flees those who abdicate and blame. This is what it means to be the “head.” Responsibility doesn’t mean personal guilt in every instance, but responsibility does mean gladly owning the challenges and problems personally. If you’re the ship captain, not every action on board the ship is done by you, but you’re responsible for it all. Jesus took responsibility for His bride, and this is the model for all leaders, especially husbands. Jesus wasn’t personally guilty of any of our sin, but He gladly took covenantal responsibility for it.

UNIFIED FRONT

One of the central signs of this covenantal thinking and living is driven by the pronoun “we.” As that great Christian calendar verse says, “As for me and my household, we will serve the Lord” (Josh. 24:15). There is all kinds of room for discussion, different perspectives, and dialogue, but when the husband makes the final decision, the husband and wife must own the decision together, saying, “we decided…,” “our decision…,” “our position…” regardless of whose idea it was. This is the case even when a husband fails to make a decision. Abdication is a decision. This unity is particularly important when there were different preferences and when the decision doesn’t go well. If the husband takes his wife’s counsel and it goes badly, the husband must insist that it was his decision, and not waffle or let it fall on his wife at all. And if the wife submits to her husband’s poor decision, she must not go along with it with a bad attitude or half-heartedly, and if it does go badly, she must not say, “see, I told you so,” or worse, tell her friends, “yeah, that wasn’t mydecision.”

In Prince Caspian, Trumpkin the dwarf volunteers to go on a dangerous mission that he argued against, and Caspian asks, “But I thought you didn’t believe in the Horn, Trumpkin.” And he replies, “No more I do, your Majesty. But what’s that got to do with it? … You are my King. I know the difference between giving advice and taking orders. You’ve had my advice, and now it’s the time for orders.” This is covenant loyalty. Nothing corrodes loyalty and friendship like blaming one another for decisions or talking about your disagreements with others. A husband and wife must be on the same team and present a united front to their kids and the world because they have been made one flesh and because Christ is faithful to His Church. This doesn’t eliminate the need for occasional outside counsel or input, but that should be done as a team, unless it is a true crisis or emergency.

CONFESSION OF SIN & FORGIVENESS

The joy of the Lord is the oil of gladness, and that oil is what keeps all the moving parts in a marriage running smoothly. If there is regular friction, hurt feelings, passive-aggressive criticism, and arguments, you can bet that there is a backlog of sin, bitterness, and resentment. And that means you are not walking in the joy of the Lord. You’re not walking in the light, and you keep tripping over past sins, guilt, and failure. The only way back into the light and joy is through confession of sin, first before God and then to those you have wronged (1 Jn. 1:4-10).

It’s very important that you get right with God first and foremost because if you only confess to your spouse, you will functionally be trying to get from your spouse what only God can give. Fundamentally, when we confess and forgive one another on the horizontal plane, we are only echoing or “amen-ing” what God has already accomplished on the vertical plane. But if you’re not right with God, your apologies can be pure manipulation. We confess because we have confessed to God, and we forgive because God has forgiven. This is how you can have Christian joy regardless of how anyone around you is doing or responding. Both husband and wife must do this individually, but it is the particular responsibility of the husband to take responsibility for his marriage on his knees.

CONCLUSION

We love because He loved us first. We forgive because He forgave us first. We take responsibility because Christ took responsibility for us. He was perfectly innocent, and He became sin for us. He was a spotless lamb, and God laid on Him the iniquity of us all. All of this means that every marriage is a picture of the gospel, a revelation, a mystery of Christ and His Church. The only question is whether it is an accurate picture, a faithful picture, a good picture or not.

Every human marriage falls short of the glory of God, but it is the glory of God to heal and restore. Where sin has abounded, grace abounds still more. This is not only the grace of confession and forgiveness; it is also the grace of repentance, the grace of change, the grace of loyalty, the grace of humility and taking responsibility.