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The Duty of Forgiveness (Practical Christianity #5) (King’s Cross)
Christ Church on April 4, 2025
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That Which is of First Importance: The Forgiveness of Sins (Christ Church)

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1 CORINTHIANS 15:1-10

Moreover, brethren, I declare unto you the gospel which I preached unto you, which also ye have received, and wherein ye stand;

2 By which also ye are saved, if ye keep in memory what I preached unto you, unless ye have believed in vain.

3 For I delivered unto you first of all that which I also received, how that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures;

4 And that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures:

5 And that he was seen of Cephas, then of the twelve:

6 After that, he was seen of above five hundred brethren at once; of whom the greater part remain unto this present, but some are fallen asleep.

7 After that, he was seen of James; then of all the apostles.

8 And last of all he was seen of me also, as of one born out of due time.

9 For I am the least of the apostles, that am not meet to be called an apostle, because I persecuted the church of God.

10 But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.

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Forgiven Families (The Well-Pleased Father #4) (King’s Cross)

Lindsey Gardner on

Introduction

The oil of gladness that keeps the engine of fellowship running smoothly is forgiveness. The forgiveness of God in Christ is what motivates the forgiveness we extent to one another, as well as all the kindness and compassion.

Scripture is abundantly clear that those who call themselves Christians who will not forgive those who have wronged them, cannot be forgiven by God (e.g. Mt. 23ff). We pray this regularly: “forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.” This is not a “works righteousness,” as though we are trying to earn God’s forgiveness. It is rather the natural overflow of receiving God’s complete forgiveness.

The Text: “… Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamor, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. 4:29-32).

 

Summary of the Text

Going back to the creation of the world, words (and therefore attitudes) are powerful: God created the universe with His Word, and since people are made in the image of God, our words and thoughts have the power to build up or tear down (Eph. 4:29). The Spirit hovered over creation in the beginning and filled the builders and craftsmen of the tabernacle (e.g. Ex. 31:3ff), and ungracious speech grieves Him (Eph. 4:30). Corrupt and destructive words flow out of bitterness, wrath, and anger (Eph. 4:31). Our ministry of grace and edification is to be full of kindness, compassion, and forgiveness, all because the Father has forgiven us (Eph. 4:32). Just as the Father is building His Church into a temple by His Spirit, the Spirit is working in and through His people to build generational families that reflect His glory.

 

As You Have Been Forgiven

How does the Father forgive His people?

“As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Like as a father pitieth his children, so the LORD pitieth them that fear him” (Ps. 103:12-13).

“I, even I, am he that blotteth out thy transgressions for mine own sake, and will not remember thy sins” (Is. 43:25).

“Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? He retaineth not his anger forever, because he delighteth in mercy. He will turn again, He will have compassion upon us; He will subdue our iniquities; and Thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea” (Mic. 7:18-19).

“In whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins, according to the riches of His grace” (Eph. 1:7).

“To Him give all the prophets witness, that through His name whosoever believeth in Him shall receive remission of sins” (Acts 10:43).

“If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 Jn. 1:9).

 

Forgiveness is a Promise

Forgiveness is a promise not a feeling. This is the basis of God’s forgiveness: His covenant promises of forgiveness are sealed in the blood of Jesus. If you wait until you feel like forgiving, you are making your feelings the standard and bitterness can often develop. But all human forgiveness is simply agreeing that the blood of Jesus was shed for that sin and promising to consider it paid for.

This is why it is important to confess your sins to God first and receive His forgiveness before going to your neighbor. Your neighbor is not actually taking away your sin (only God can do that). Sometimes a confession is trying to get out of a mere human what only God can do. This is the difference between “getting something off your chest” and reconciliation.

This is also why it is a high-handed blasphemy to refuse to forgive your neighbor; it is insisting that the blood of Jesus is not good enough.

In a healthy family, the words “please forgive me” should be relatively common to hear, followed quickly by the promise: “I forgive you.” And Jesus insists that we must forgive seventy times seven for the same offense (Mt. 18:21-22). This is part of being compassionate and tender-hearted. If you are honest with your own heart, you know the way sin and evil creeps in. You know how much you have been forgiven. As Jesus says, whoever is forgiven little will love very little, but whoever knows they have been forgiven much, will love much (Lk. 7:47).

And wherever forgiveness has not yet been asked for, you ought to have forgiveness waiting and ready for them. As far as it depends upon you, there should be grace in your hearts.

 

Applications

Generational Grace: “Keeping mercy for thousands, forgiving iniquity and transgression and sin, and that will by no means clear the guilty; visiting the iniquity of the fathers upon the children, and upon the children’s children, unto the third and to the fourth generation” (Ex. 34:7).

One of the ways we need to practice generational mercy is upstream as well as downstream. This means parents need to make sure they are not harboring any bitterness or resentment toward their own parents or anyone. As you forgive those who have sinned against you, you are passing down mercy rather than guilt to your own children and grandchildren.

Practice Restoration: Love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Cor. 13:5). This is what we call “keeping short accounts.” As soon as sin happens, we want to be dealing with it as quickly as it happened (just like other spills and messes). Don’t let dark clouds hover over your kids (e.g. time outs, grounding, etc.). When discipline has occurred, make sure sin is confessed, forgiveness is extended, and fellowship is fully restored.

Sometimes you’ve practiced bitterness (or guilt), and those thoughts and feelings keep coming back. So have your gospel tennis racket ready to bat them away: Christ died for that. And in place of those old thoughts and words, put on gratitude, compassion, and kindness. Whatever is true, honorable, just, pure, lovely… meditate on those things, with the smiling pleasure of your Father at the center of all of it.

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Forgiveness & Your Feelings

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INTRODUCTION

The habit of modern man is to act based on his feelings, instead of action based on fact. The Disney catechism has worked its way deeply into our culture: follow your heart. We are the foolish man, building on the sands of emotion, instead of the rock of the Word. The pile of grievances swept under the cultural rug is getting quite obvious. Yet no one knows how to actually sweep out the grime, because no one feels like humbling themselves.

THE TEXT

Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy and beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye. And above all these things put on charity, which is the bond of perfectness. And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord. And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him (Colossians 3:12-17).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Paul instructs Christians to put on a particular disposition due to their standing as the elect of God (v12, Cf. Rom 13:4, Gal. 3:27); this disposition includes various attributes which are, to the carnal man, like drinking castor oil with a vinegar chaser. The disposition of the saints is to be one of patient mercy & humility (v12). By putting these virtues on, we are equipped to the action of forbearance and forgiveness of the quarrels we may have against another. Forgiveness is not a passive event which happens to you, it is an imperative. It puts a victim of offense as an actor in the restoration. This forgiveness is in imitation of Christ’s great forgiveness of the saints (v13).  Agape is like the jeweled clasp that holds all these virtues in place (v14), while the peace of God rules in our hearts individually and corporately. Our response to it all should be gratitude (v15).
We both put on Christ, and Christ dwells in us. His Word is to dwell in us richly. The fruit of His presence is made evident in  our teaching and admonishing of one another. This is done most poignantly in our biblically founded and faithful praise (v16). All of this should be done with grace in our hearts (v16). The whole  scope of Christian activity is be offered up entirely to God, through Christ, with thankfulness (v17).

THE SHIPWRECK OF TRAUMA-PEDDLERS

In the midst of a culture where apologies have been weaponized, both by faux-victims and by real perpetrators, a great deal of misunderstanding has arisen about what forgiveness is, and how it works. Trauma-peddlers are not interested in the fire of bitterness to be put out by the water of forgiveness. Cruel men are only interested in apologies as a means of preserving the brand. We must reject both approaches.
Scripture gives us a way out of the shipwreck of feelings, and onto the solid ground of truth. If you’ve been wronged, true harm has been done. Whether the harm is physical or verbal, emotional or financial Scripture equips us to handle the harm done to us with, as Paul puts it in our text, the peace of God ruling in our hearts.
Grace is in our hearts and so we sing one to another the songs of God. God’s peace rules our hearts, and so we forgive as He forgave us. Notice in the text that it is by God’s presence within us that enables us to the action of forgiveness. By resting in our justification before God through Christ we are enabled to go about the activity of objective reconciliation. This doesn’t dull our emotional state; rather it is by the Spirit’s governance within us that our emotions are strengthened, sharpened, and sweetened. Elsewhere, Paul instructs that true forgiveness is tied up with tenderheartedness (Eph. 4:32). A new heart, in other words, is absolutely necessary.

TRANSACTIONAL FORGIVENESS

When you’re wronged, Scripture gives a few routes to take. This text in Colossians sets forth one path plainly and implies the second. You can forbear the offense, covering a whole catalogue of sins (Cf. Pro. 10:12). The second path is to pursue the offense straight up the middle, seeking to address the wrong in order to extend forgiveness.
Again, forgiveness is a transaction, not a feeling. This is where many modern grief counselors, like blind guides of the blind, stagger off into the marshlands. Say in a quarrel with a spouse, friend, or coworker you utter a truly cruel insult to them. You’ve done objective harm, so by seeking forgiveness you are identifying the true guilt of your actions, along with the objective harm you did, and then seeking to restore what you harmed. The option for the victim is to either extend forgiveness and receive the restitution, or curl up into hardened shell of resentment.
This transactional aspect of biblical forgiveness removes relational restoration from the fluctuating realm of feelings and excuses and “sweep it under the rug” approaches. Biblical justice requires restitution (Ex. 22:12), ranging from double what was stolen (Ex. 22:7), to a fifth for lesser faults (Num. 5:7) to four-fold (Lk. 19:1-10). Did you gossip about someone? You need to seek their forgiveness as well as seek to restore the good name you tarnished. Did you lie? You need to come clean, then restore the harm done by your falsehood. This doesn’t just factor in material harm, but the harm from time-lost.

I DON’T FEEL LIKE FORGIVING

For the offended party, the last thing you may feel like doing is forgiving. True forgiveness isn’t dependent on the alignment of heavenly bodies, or hormones to balance, or enough time to pass. Put on Christ, and grace rules in you.
You get the forgiveness ready, from the heart, because your heart is under the authority of Another. It isn’t under the authority of what your feelings are doing. Furthermore, while extending forgiveness it’s lawful to lay out the clear damages needing restitution.
What is not an option is to say that you just won’t forgive. Jesus gives stern warnings to the unforgiving. You are insisting on receiving infinite kindness from God, and refusing to extend finite kindness to your brother.

AS GOD FORGAVE YOU

Once more, the virtues we are commanded to cultivate are all derivative. You don’t draw up forgiveness juice from the well of your own inward goodness. The well from which your forgiveness springs from is the same well that you have drunk from. The infinite ocean of God’s kindness to you through Christ.
See how God sees you. The Gospel draws open the shades, and allows you see the pristine view of God’s mercy toward you. God calls you elect, chosen. Through no deserving on your part. God calls you holy. God calls you beloved. None of it earned. None of it because you were on your best behavior. All of it freely given by the cross. Lay hold on the cross, and then forgive as God forgave you. Not because you feel like it, but because you have a new heart.

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Confession of Sin & Forgiveness

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INTRODUCTION

One very common problem that Christians have in their Christian lives is the problem of spiritual clutter. Many Christians don’t know what to do with various unresolved sins and problems, and so they do nothing. Over time these problems accumulate, and before long there is a real mess.

You have seen this phenomenon in various places, have you not? It happens in closets, it happens in your junk drawer, it happens in your home’s designated fright room, it happens at the back of your garage, it happens when your garden fills up with weeds, and so on. Why wouldn’t it happen in your spiritual life? It certainly will if you let it.

“Let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us” (Hebrews 12:1).

So one of the first things that Christians should learn is this. They need to learn to deal with the sin . . . of not really dealing with sin. If we are told to lay aside every weight, then it would be a sin not to. If we are told to deal with the sin that “so easily besets” us, then it would be a sin not to.

ON NOT KIDDING YOURSELF

So the first thing to realize is that confession of sin is an ongoing necessity. I described the problem as being one of spiritual clutter, but the thing about clutter is that you get used to it as it accumulates. You begin by thinking that perhaps your life is “a little untidy,” and then move on to excuse the fact that it looks like a bomb went off in your conscience, and by the end of the process your conscience looks and smells like a closet at the crazy cat lady’s house.

So ongoing and regular confession of sin is a necessity for everyone. What must you do if you want a garden filled with weeds? What you need to do is absolutely . . . nothing. Just let it ride.

We know that sin can accumulate in this way because of the way Scripture speaks of it. If we just go on in our own fashion, we will get used to how disheveled we are. But if we look into the looking glass of Scripture, we will there see our true condition. We don’t learn that true condition by means of morbid introspection—we learn our true condition through faithful and submissive Bible reading.

As James puts it:

“But whoso looketh into the perfect law of liberty, and continueth therein, he being not a forgetful hearer, but a doer of the work, this man shall be blessed in his deed” (James 1:25).

No one should ever simply assume that he is “doing fine” simply because the roof hasn’t fallen in yet.

“If thou, Lord, shouldest mark iniquities, O Lord, who shall stand?” (Psalm 130:3).

Scripture tells us our true condition.

“If they sin against thee, (for there is no man which sinneth not,) and thou be angry with them . . .” (2 Chronicles 6:36; Job 4:18-19)

And the apostle John sums it up.

“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us . . . If we say that we have not sinned, we make him a liar, and his word is not in us” (1 John 1:8, 10).

Suppose someone is learning how to do maintenance on his car, and he is told to change his air filter every 12 to 15,000 miles. Suppose he were to raise the earnest question of whether he still would have to do this if the filter hadn’t gotten dirty. The problem with this young man is that he doesn’t know what kind of a world he is living in.

WHAT TO DO

The way to deal with the effects of such accumulated guilt through sinning is by means of confession.

“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness” (1 John 1:9).

This is a glorious promise, so let us take a moment to consider it carefully. In this verse, we are described a certain way, and then we are to do something. In addition, God is described as being a certain way, and then He does something.

We are described as sinful (we cannot confess sins unless we actually have some). So we are described as sinful, and what we are told to do is confess. God is described as being faithful and just, and what He does is forgive our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness. We are sinful, and He is righteous. We do the confessing, and He does the cleansing.

So what is it to “to confess”? The Greek word that is rendered here as confess is homologeo, a very interesting compound word. The first part, homo, is the Greek for same. The logeo is a verb that means to speak. Consequently, homologeo means “to speak the same thing,” or putting it another way, to acknowledge.

If Scripture calls it a lie, and you call it mild prevarication, that is not confession. If Scripture calls it adultery, and you call it infatuation, that is not confession. If Scripture calls it theft, and you call it requisitioning, that is not confession. The reason it is not confession is that it is dishonest.

So the central issue in confession of sin is honesty.

“He that covereth his sins shall not prosper: But whoso confesseth and forsaketh them shall have mercy” (Proverbs 28:13).

A paraphrase of this therefore would be that people who are dishonest about the way they are living are people who will not flourish, who will not prosper. The alternative is what is promised to the honest—honest confession and honest forsaking results in mercy. This mercy means that God is blessing that man.

THE BLESSING OF FORGIVENESS

“Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile” (Psalm 32:1–2).

Forgiven transgression is the blessing of God. To have sin covered is the blessing of God. To not have iniquity imputed to you when it easily could have been imputed to you is the blessing of God.

But not that descriptor—“in whose spirit there is no guile.” Honesty before God is the ticket. And even there, remember that if God were to mark iniquities in our confessions no one could stand.

“My little children, these things write I unto you, that ye sin not. And if any man sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous: And he is the propitiation for our sins: and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world” (1 John 2:1–2).

This is why, at the end of the day, all our sins must be confessed in Jesus’ name.

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