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Real Forgiveness

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INTRODUCTION

Everyone knows that the Christian faith revolves around the forgiveness of sins. But because there is a gospel logic involved in it that eludes every form of carnal reasoning, we have to be careful to understand what is actually involved. What is real forgiveness?

THE TEXT

“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. 4:31–32).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

There are two ways of conducting life together. One of them is the enemy of life together, and the other is the true friend of life together. One drives us apart and the other knits us together.

The first is the way is the way of keeping score, with the intention of winning. It is the way of bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander and malice (v. 31). This all sounds pretty bad, but we have to remember that all these plug-uglies travel under an alias. They call themselves righteousness, and have a deep commitment to being right. This approach makes koinonia community impossible.

The alternative is kindness and tenderheartedness. And the way that kindness and tenderheartedness “live out” is by forgiving one another, and doing so in exactly the same way that God has forgiven us for the sake of Jesus Christ (v. 32).

WHAT FORGIVENESS IS NOT

We often feel like we are asking God for His forgiveness when what we are really doing is asking Him to accept our excuses. And because we know that we are to forgive as we were forgiven, as per our text, we often seek to forgive others by agreeing beforehand to accept their excuses, when possible. But (unlike ourselves) they had better have a good one.

Our problem is that, when living together with other sinners, we frequently run smack into what can only be called inexcusable. And because it is inexcusable, our scheme with the excuses cannot work.

Forgiveness deals with sin. And sin, by its very nature, is inexcusable. But what is inexcusable is not (thank the Lord) unforgivable.

PARDON ME AND FORGIVE ME

If you accidentally back into someone during fellowship hour, and make them spill their coffee, you naturally say pardon me, or please excuse me. By this you mean to say that you did what you did to them in a way that was entirely unintentional. They respond accordingly—don’t mention it. No problem. The accident was an accident, and it was therefore excusable.

But suppose you looked across the fellowship hall, and there saw your enemy, as pleased with himself as a conceited Pharisee could be, and so you lowered your shoulder and ran straight into him, knocking him clean over. Under such circumstances, the only reason you would say “pardon me” would be if you had decided to taunt him after bowling him over. In this case, your behavior is inexcusable.

That doesn’t mean that nothing can be done about it. The inexcusable is not the same kind of thing as the unforgivable.

A MIXED BAG

But there is another category. What if we don’t have something that is purely wicked or purely accidental? Suppose it is a mixed bag.

Yes, you snapped at the kids, but it was at the end of two days of migraine headache. Yes, you said some things to your wife that were rude and thoughtless, but she was the one who started the argument, and would not let it go, not even after you had asked her to. You had asked her three times. Yes, you sent an email to your boss that you regret sending, but it was 2 in the morning, and the beer you had made you careless.

There are extenuating circumstances, in other words. But we should all remember two things about this. The first is that we will tend to stretch our legitimate excuse part to cover over our sin part. But the only thing that can actually cover sin is the blood of Jesus Christ. When apologizing, we lead with the excuse. “Bob, sorry about yesterday. I had a long day, and I didn’t really mean what I said.” And Bob often responds in kind (because he wants to play the same game when he needs to). “Oh, well, because you didn’t mean it, forget about it.” In other words, because the “you” who said those things was not the real you, he can let it go.

The second problem is that we want our excuses to be way stretchier than our neighbor’s excuses. But as C.S. Lewis pointed out one time, the chances are excellent that our neighbor’s excuses are way better than we tend to believe. And it is also true that our excuses are way lamer than we think they are. When we handicap the competition between us and our fellow Christians, we are not nearly as objective as we think we are. 

A VARIATION OF THE GOLDEN RULE

The basic Christian response is to forgive as we have been forgiven. In our text, the apostle Paul is simply repeating what the Lord taught us when He taught us to pray. Every time we pray the Lord’s Prayer, we ask Him to forgive us as we forgive others. The way many Christians live, the room actually ought to become much quieter when we get to that part.

“Lord, please doubt the sincerity of my repentance the way I doubt his. Lord, dismiss my excuses with a wave of your hand the way I dismiss his excuses. Lord, keep a hidden tally so that if I sin in this area again, You can bring everything up again, and throw it in my face, the way I do with him. Amen.”

The Golden Rule teaches us that we should do for others what we wish they would do for us. This is in the same spirit, but there is a higher level of danger in it. Here we are asking God to treat us the way we treat our brother. If I give my brother an orange, he might give me an apple. But if I give my brother a stone when he asked for bread, and then I ask God to treat me in the same way, I may find out the stone is one that will crush me. God can give me a much bigger stone than my brother ever could.

BY GRACE ALONE

But how is this consistent with salvation by grace alone? “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt. 6:14–15). If you refuse to forgive your brother, you are not failing to earn your salvation. If you refuse to forgive your brother, you are revealing to the world that you have no understanding of what salvation by grace through faith actually is. Remember that Christ is all.

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More Than Just Forgiveness

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The Text

“Therefore is the kingdom of heaven likened unto a certain king, which would take account of his servants.24 And when he had begun to reckon, one was brought unto him, which owed him ten thousand talents.25 But forasmuch as he had not to pay, his lord commanded him to be sold, and his wife, and children, and all that he had, and payment to be made.26 The servant therefore fell down, and worshipped him, saying, Lord, have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.27 Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.28 But the same servant went out, and found one of his fellowservants, which owed him an hundred pence: and he laid hands on him, and took him by the throat, saying, Pay me that thou owest.29 And his fellowservant fell down at his feet, and besought him, saying, Have patience with me, and I will pay thee all.30 And he would not: but went and cast him into prison, till he should pay the debt.31 So when his fellowservants saw what was done, they were very sorry, and came and told unto their lord all that was done.32 Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:33 Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?34 And his lord was wroth, and delivered him to the tormentors, till he should pay all that was due unto him.35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses” (Mt. 18:23–35).

Introduction

Certain people have the uncanny ability to drive you crazy. It’s tempting to box them out of our lives, so we won’t have to deal with their antics. Forgiving someone again & again is an unappealing course of action as it means they’ve offended you again & again. However, there’s someone you’re very good at forgiving & treating with great delicacy even though they’re a good-for-nuthin’ scoundrel. That someone? Yourself!

Summary of the Text

After teaching on the process for progressively rebuking a brother who has sinned against you (Mt. 18:15-20), Peter raises the question of how many times should an offending brother be forgiven…“seven times (v.21)?” Jesus’ response shows that keeping a scorecard of your brother’s offenses is contrary to the true spirit of forgiveness. The number he gives is clearly meant to indicate that you’re to forgive your brother regardless of the number of times he offends (v.22).  These numbers hearken back to the vengeance protections against Cain & Lamech (cf. Gen. 4:15 & 23-24).
Jesus illustrates with a parable in three scenes. The first episode is that of a king taking account & forgiving a servant who begged for clemency; even though he owed an insurmountable debt of 10,000 talents (vs.23-27). It would take 20 years for a day-laborer to earn 1 talent. Thus, this servant owed the equivalent of 200,000 years of labor. We’re talking billions of dollars. The second episode sees this same servant hunting down a fellow-servant who owed him 100 days’ wages––not a negligible amount. The forgiven servant refuses to forgive his fellow-servant who was indebted to him. He throws him into prison until the debt is repaid (vs.28-30).
In the third episode, this news travels back to the king who––in great wrath––rebukes the pitiless servant, reverses his decision, & turns him over to tormentors until his debt is paid in full (vs. 31-34). Jesus’ concludes this parable by warning that His Father will do likewise unto those who do not––from the heart––forgive their brother (v. 35).

The Root of Our Forgiveness

We learn from this parable, that the Father, expects His forgiveness to be imitated. Paul’s epistles repeat this:
Ephesians 4:32 
Be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
Colossians 3:12-13
Put on therefore, as the elect of God, holy & beloved, bowels of mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; Forbearing one another, & forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
The root of our forbearance (i.e. patience) & forgiveness of each other is rooted in the Gospel of Christ’s forgiveness of us. The implication in the parable is that our debt to God can’t be “worked off.” Our only hope is gracious forgiveness.
The “imitative” quality of our earthly forgiveness carries boulder-sized ramifications. Imitating God’s forgiveness means that an unbeliever is incapable of truly forgiving as they are unable to imitate God without the new birth. It also means that a child of God who refuses to forgive is going to be all tied up in knots because they have clearly not grasped how great a debt God has forgiven them.

A Variety of Pseudo-Forgiveness

While we must hold one doctrine firmly––that our salvation is secure––we must hear the profound warning which Christ attaches to unforgiveness.
Matthew 6:12, 14-15
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. […] For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
As one fellow once shrewdly pointed out: “Refusal to forgive is a decision for vengeance.” Since our forgiveness is imitative of Christ’s forgiveness, unforgiveness indicates a lack of grasping what the Father has done for you. Man always connives to avoid God’s clear command for seeking & giving forgiveness. Christ’s warning about unforgiveness should make us wary of “wild-flowers of forgiveness” that look pretty from a distance, but are, in fact, destructive weeds.
First, modern psychology treats forgiveness therapeutically. You endeavor to drudge up forgiveness-feelings in order to feel better about yourself. In this approach, reconciliation is of no concern. Along this vein, we often think we need to search for forgiveness feelings before forgiving. Biblically, forgiveness is a promise, an act of the will to “remember not” (cf. Ps. 79:8). Forgetting is passive, whereas “remembering not” is active.
A second imposter is the common apology. “I’m sorry” is different from “I was wrong, please forgive me.” Apologizing is offering a defense not seeking forgiveness.
Sweeping things under the rug is a third pseudo-forgiveness. This is just loveless apathy. If you truly would imitate Christ, you must not let things slide, but address them for the sake of the relationship. In fact, this opens to us operate in the realm of objective truth rather than subjective feelings. Ken Sande summarizes this well, “Forgiveness is not excusing. Forgiveness is the exact opposite of excusing. The very fact that forgiveness is needed & granted indicates that what someone did was wrong & inexcusable.”

A Glory Beyond Forgiveness

Forgiveness is not an end in & of itself; it is a means unto something far grander. The arc of all history shows that God’s aim in redeeming mankind is more than merely forgiving him for his crimes in Eden; God is preparing a Garden City whose glory outshines the sun. God is restoring what was lost in Eden, but in an incomprehensibly glorified way.
In our earthly relationships, this means that merely forgiving the offense is not the end goal. A restored & glorified relationship is the goal. In essence, forgiveness is a means to a more glorious marriage, friendship, relationship, society.
All the various weeds of pseudo-forgiveness––which are all of the genus known as bitterness––will quickly overshadow & strangle the fruits of grace. Thus, keeping short accounts with your fellow-servants is vital for the health of the garden of your life. Bitterness would turn your garden into an eyesore. Redemptive grace takes your garden & glorifies it into a full-fledged farm with a gourmet restaurant.
When we forgive the 100 pence our brother owes us, our imitation of what God has forgiven us is on display. In this way, you not only enjoy the blessings of a restored relationships & clear consciences; you also enjoy the great privilege of displaying to the onlooking world the reconciliation found in the Gospel: God the Father reconciling Himself with fallen man through Christ. We mustn’t forget: our overarching aim––in forgiving our brother––is glorifying God.

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The Politics of Sin Forgiven

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Introduction

What do Christians do when the world around them seems to be coming apart? We wait on God, our salvation, and we think and live in light of His promises. And in particular, we think and live in light of His promises to forgive our sins and the sins of the world.

The prophet Micah ministered in the southern kingdom of Judah towards the end of the 8th Century B.C. He ministered during the reigns of Jotham, Ahaz, and Hezekiah (Mic. 1:1) when the northern kingdom of Israel/Samaria fell to the Assyrians in 722 BC (2 Kings 17). In other words, Micah was watching the disintegration of his nation. Despite the deep darkness in his day, his prophecy is full of light and hope for us.

The Text

“Woe is me! for I am as when they have gathered the summer fruits, as the grapegleanings of the vintage: there is no cluster to eat: my soul desired the firstripe fruit. The good man is perished out of the earth: and there is none upright among men: they all lie in wait for blood; they hunt every man his brother with a net… He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea…” (Mic. 1-9, 18-20)

Summary of the Text

Our passage opens with Micah’s cry of woe. The previous chapter has just finished God’s declaration of severe judgment (6:10-16), and here Micah cries out for the sin of his people (7:1). All the good men are gone, and everyone hunts one another with nets and takes bribes (7:2-3). The best men are briars and thorn hedges, and no one can trust anyone, not even friends, spouses, or family (7:4-6). But Micah’s response is a striking confidence: “Therefore, I will look unto the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation: my God will hear me” (7:7). Micah warns his enemy not to rejoice when he falls because he will surely rise, and even in the darkness God will be his light (7:8). Micah acknowledges that there will be consequences for his personal sin, but God will plead for him and deliver him and bring him back out into the light (7:9). Micah goes on to describe how God will judge the nations and care for his people through all the turmoil (7:10-17). The prophet closes asking who is like our God, and it’s striking that he is particularly astonished by His mercy, the way He pardons sin and passes by the transgression of His people (7:18). Despite all the turmoil, Micah is sure that God will turn again and have compassion on His people; He will defeat our sin and cast it into the depths of the sea (7:19). This is certain because God promised this mercy to Abraham (7:20).

Is There A God?

Is Micah’s response to the evil of his day reasonable? Is it reasonable and rational to respond to such pervasive corruption by saying you will wait on God (Mic. 7:7)? The answer to these questions illustrates why the existence of God really is a watershed issue. If there is no God, then eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die. If there is no God, then morality is just a construct, and might makes right. Everything is survival of the fittest, grab what you can get. And morals are just temporary, utilitarian tactics for the cowardly. If there is such a thing as justice, then there must of necessity be a standard of justice. And for it to be real justice, that standard must be fixed from day to day, from generation to generation, and apply to everyone the same. Whenever anyone says something is “wrong,” they are making a claim to morality. This is why we must be constantly asking a most crucial question: By what standard? Why? You cannot claim that something is good, right, wrong, evil, or unjust if you have banished all absolute standards. If there is a God, there is a fixed standard. If not, to Hell with morality.

The Real Problem

The reason we don’t want a standard, an eternal, fixed law is because every man knows that the same law that will condemn evil out there in the world will also ultimately point its sharp end back at us. “Now we know that what things soever the law saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God” (Rom. 3:19). This is what Micah acknowledges having rehearsed the wickedness of his nation: “I will bear the indignation of the Lord, because I have sinned against him, until he plead my cause, and execute judgment for me” (7:9). So what will it be? Do we want justice or not?

The Politics of the Accuser

The city of man functions on the power of accusation. The best peace and community man can muster on his own is the “fellowship” of the standoff. We take hostages in the form of dirt on one another, and have guns pointed at one another with silent agreements (or not so silent) not to fire, if the others won’t. This happens in families, marriages, businesses, and nations. But this isn’t peace, this isn’t fellowship, this is a cold war, with every move scrutinized and studied. But the power of accusation is guilt and fear. People know they are guilty, they know they have dirt, and they are paralyzed by the fear of exposure, blame, and shame, so they play along. Satan is the Accuser, and this is the power he uses over the guilty (Heb. 2:14-15).

Conclusion

This is why when Jesus began His healing ministry He identified the deeper, more fundamental problem as sin. When the men let down their paralyzed friend through the roof, the first thing Jesus said was, “Son, your sins are forgiven” (Mk. 2:5, Lk. 5:20), which may have seemed a bit anticlimactic at first. And when Jesus finally did heal the man, it was to prove that He had the authority to forgive sins (Mk. 2:10-11, Lk. 5:24). To the extent that individuals, families, and nations are paralyzed with fear, violence, hatred, the answer is the same. They need their sins forgiven. If our sins are forgiven then the Satanic hostage game of accusation is over.

And what is the one thing our God is known for? Despite all the cries of misogyny and injustice and cruelty, everyone knows that our God is known for His mercy. From the beginning, He has covered the sins of people with grace. He pardons iniquity; He passes by our transgressions. He delights in mercy. So this is the message that we need to hear, the message proclaimed to our families and neighbors and nation: Jesus Christ the Righteous is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only, but also for the sins of the whole world (1 Jn. 2:1-2). He has defeated our sins, trampling them underfoot, by the blood of His cross, and they have been cast to the bottom of the sea (Mic. 7:19). This is the only path to peace in our lives or in our land. This is our light even when we sit in darkness, and it is our sure hope that the Lord will bring us out into the light.

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Mechanics of Forgiveness

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Introduction

Every time we say the Apostles’ Creed, we confess that we believe in the forgiveness of sins. This is reasonable we might think—isn’t forgiveness of sin the entire point? Yes, it is the entire point, but it is also part of the point that this forgiveness is entirely grace, and must never be considered an entitlement. It is not something we deserve. And remembering this is tougher than it looks.

The Text

“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. 4:32). 

Summary of the Text

Forgiveness proceeds from a certain disposition. It flows out of a particular kind of character, a certain kind of heart. That disposition is one of kindness. The one who would forgive must be tenderhearted, and the word that is translated as tenderhearted here is actually telling us that our forgiveness must be visceral—from the viscera, from the gut. The requirement is then given, which is that we must forgive one another, going back and forth. The assumption is that life in covenant community will require this kind of thing, which further means that pride of face is out. Not only so, but a constant critical spirit is also out. Paul then requires us to be imitative in our forgiveness. We are to imitate God’s forgiveness of us through Christ in how we forgive one another. And this in its turn provides a key to help us understand one of the difficulties that arises with those who take forgiveness seriously.

The Forgiveness Transaction

When someone has wronged someone else, they have not just transgressed or broken a rule. They have also incurred an obligation, a debt (Matt. 6:12). And, as we all know, debts must be paid. Now when a sin is committed, the sin by itself may be the thing that has to be paid off, or it might be the “sin + damages” that has to be dealt with.

Suppose you get in a quarrel with someone, and in the heat of your temper you call them an insulting name. When you go to put this right, the debt that you owe is the obligation you carry to seek that person’s forgiveness. “Will you please forgive me for calling you that name?”

But if you called them that name, and then deliberately broke something of theirs in your anger, you now have two things to do. The first is to seek forgiveness, as in the first scenario, and the second is to make restitution (Ex. 22:12). And when you make restitution, you should add at least 20% to the value of whatever it was (Num. 5:7).

The Transaction Part

In order for forgiveness proper to have occurred, it is necessary for the offender to seek forgiveness, and for the one who was wronged to extend it. If someone steals your car, you can’t really run down the road after them yelling that you forgive them. The transaction is not happening. And if the offender truly repents, but the other person refuses to forgive, then reconciliation between them is impossible. It takes two for the transaction to happen.

When everything is running smoothly, here is the nature of the transaction. The one seeking forgiveness acknowledges his wrong, and does so without pointing to all the extenuating circumstances. In doing this, he is asking the wronged party to make a promise, and the promise sought is that he will not, on a personal level, hold the offense against the one who committed it. When the one extending forgiveness does so, when he says I forgive you, he is in fact making that promise. I italicized the word personal above because the one forgiving may have other responsibilities that must take the misbehavior into account (as a boss, spouse, elder, etc.)

Now if someone makes that promise, and then, in a subsequent quarrel, resurrects the old offense, what he is doing is breaking his promise. And that is a new sin, requiring him to seek forgiveness. “I promised you that I wouldn’t throw that episode in your teeth, and here I just did. I broke my word. Please forgive me.”

And Not a Patch Job Either

There is a stark difference between seeking forgiveness, and trying to round up acceptance of your excuses. In the same way, it is often easier for us to accept an offender’s excuses than it is to forgive him. Forgiveness presupposes genuine, deliberate wrong. And we want to say, “I can’t forgive that. He did it on purpose.” But actually, that is the only time you can forgive. There is a stark difference between an inexcusable sin and an unforgiveable one. All of them are inexcusable.

And because we live in a tumblesome world, it is often the case that our actions and our motives are mixed. In other words, perhaps a portion of it was excusable, while the rest of it was not. As C.S. Lewis points out, when dealing with others, we tend to amplify the excusable parts of our own behavior and minimize the inexcusable parts. And when it comes to the faults of the other person, we do the reverse.

But in this Christ requires of us absolutely honest weights and measures. We are required to have the same standard for ourselves that we have for others (Matt. 7:1-2). 

But How . . .?

The dilemma I referred to earlier is caused by an offender who refuses to acknowledge what he or she did—or worse, does in an ongoing fashion. How can you give when someone has not asked for it?

We have to break this into two portions. According to our text, what is the basis of our own forgiveness before God? God forgives us, it says, “for Christ’s sake.” But what Christ did was accomplished two thousand years before you acknowledged your sin, two thousand years before you committed it, and on top of it all, two thousand years before you were born. Everything about your forgiveness was settled, with the exception of your experience of it.

That leads to the second part. We experience the forgiveness of God when the subjective burden of our guilt is removed, and removed forever. This is when the transaction happens.

So we are to imitate that. Say that someone has wronged you, and has not repented of it. Can you forgive them? Yes. Can they experience that forgiveness? No. Think of it this way. You take the forgiveness that you have determined to give to them the moment they ask for it, make sure it is packed well, put it in a box, and wrap it up in gift wrap. You have special place for it, near the door, and you watch the driveway the way the father in the parable of the prodigal son watched the road.

The transaction has not happened, but you are on tiptoe, wanting it to happen.

As God in Christ forgave us.

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Despising the Shame

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Introduction

In a recent article entitled, Shame Storm, a writer chronicles how true and false accusations of wrong doing combined with the internet and social media have mixed together to create storms of shame: One person commented on a situation, “I think nobody has quite figured out what should happen in cases like his, where you have been legally acquitted but you are still judged as undesirable in public opinion, and how far that should go, how long that should last.” The author continues: “No one has yet figured out what rules should govern the new frontiers of public shaming that the Internet has opened… Shame is now both global and permanent, to a degree unprecedented in human history. No more moving to the next town to escape your bad name. However far you go and however long you wait, your disgrace is only ever a Google search away.”

We live in a world that has become shameful– literally, we have done shameful things, we feel shame, we are afraid of being exposed, and we are frequently driven by avoidance of shame. But the Bible speaks to this situation, and the gospel is good news and good courage for this.

The Texts

Shame first enters the world in the Garden of Eden in the sin of our first parents: “And the eyes of them both were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together, and made themselves aprons… And [Adam] said, I heard thy voice in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked; and I hid myself” (Gen. 3:7, 10). Shame is the feeling or fact of exposure – the visceral, frequently physical sense of disgrace, defilement, dishonor, humiliation, or embarrassment. If guilt is the objective fact of wrong doing, shame is the subjective feeling and the public exposure of that fact. When Aaron led Israel to worship the golden calf, they did so naked to their great shame (Ex. 32:25). Shame is something that covers people like a garment or covers their face (Job 8:22, Ps. 35:26, 44:15, 69:7, 83:16). It’s a spoiled reputation, a despised status, blot, filth, a mark of folly that is seemingly impossible to remove. Think of Joseph not wanting to put Mary to open shame, supposing she had sinned to become pregnant with Jesus (Mt. 1:19). Shame is the private and public humiliation of being wrong, the removal of respect and glory (1 Cor. 11:6). And yet our texts say that we are to look unto Jesus, who for the joy set before Him, endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God (Heb. 12:2). He endured such contradictions against Himself, that we are to remain resolute and confident (Heb. 12:3). We are to establish our hearts with grace, going to Jesus outside the gate, bearing His reproach (Heb. 13:9, 12-13).

The Grace of Shame

In the first instance, if we are to rightly despise the shame, we must welcome a certain sort of shame. How does Paul say that we are to establish our hearts with grace? Not by diverse and strange doctrines and not by eating meat (Heb. 13:9). What does he mean? He means that you cannot establish your hearts by doing respectable religious things – he’s talking specifically about priests and Jews trying to trick grace out of the sacrificial altar in Jerusalem after Jesus has come. Of course, at one time that altar did point to Jesus, our sacrifice for sin, but those sacrifices could never actually take away sin, and now that Jesus has come, turning back to the Old Covenant was worse than useless.

But the temptation here varies through the ages: it’s the temptation to respectability, various and strange and new doctrines and fads. The Jews had a nice building, formal sacrificial liturgies, and an inner circle inside the camp, inside the gate. The carcasses of the sacrificial animals were burned outside the camp (Heb. 13:11), and so that is where they also crucified Jesus, outside the gate (Heb. 13:12). And that is where God’s grace is found, outside the gate, where Jesus was nailed to a tree, hung up naked for all to see, mocked and jeered, until our sins were paid for, until God’s justice was completely finished. In the beginning, God killed animals and covered Adam and Eve’s shame, and in the fullness of time, God laid the wrath of His justice on His own Son and covered all of our shame forever. It is the grace of shame to cause us to know our sin, to know our nakedness, to drive us to the cross of Jesus, despising the shame of owning our sin.

I remember years ago when I was teaching, I called a parent to report something about their student. In the course of the conversation, I was not completely truthful, and when I hung up the phone, I knew immediately that I had lied and needed to put it right. I called back a second time, and proceeded to apologize for a good half of my lie. Upon hanging up a second time, I was thoroughly ashamed and embarrassed as I proceeded to call the parent for a third to finally tell the entire truth – and I’ve never done that again! Shame drives us to deal with our sin, but shame also teaches us to hate sin, to stay far away from sin. This is the graceof shame.

True and False Shame

But in a fallen world, rebellious sinners who refuse to repent of their sin must do something with their shame, and so they embrace it. They call evil good and good evil, and they glory in their shame (Is. 5:20, Phil. 3:19). They rejoice in their shame; they are shameless and proud of their shame. “Who leave the paths of uprightness to walk in the ways of darkness; who rejoice to do evil, and delight in the frowardness of the wicked” (Prov. 2:13-14). They are “raging waves of the sea, foaming out their own shame, wandering stars, to whom is reserved the blackness of darkness forever” (Jude 1:13). “For the time past of our life may suffice us to have wrought the will of the Gentiles, when we walked in lasciviousness, lusts, excess of wine, revellings, banquetings, and abominable idolatries: Wherein they think it strange that ye run not with them to the same excess of riot, speaking evil of you” (1 Pet. 4:3-4).

The logical end game of refusing the message of true shame for sin is a complete reversal or inversion of glory and shame, calling good evil and evil good, to the point that you are evil for not joining in with them in their evil, for not rejoicing with them in evil. And the goal is to make you ashamed. The goal is to make you feel bad about confronting their sin, for not endorsing it. And so this is also what it means to “bear His reproach” outside the camp (Heb. 13:13). They falsely accused Jesus. They said He was a blasphemer and rabble-rouser and traitor. They condemned Him, crucified Him, speaking evil of Him. They sought to shame Him, and therefore they will seek to shame all who would follow Him (Jn. 15:18-19, 1 Jn. 3:13). This is what Peter and John faced when they were beaten and rebuked: “they departed from the council, rejoicing that they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name. And daily in the temple, and in every house, they ceased not to teach and preach Jesus Christ” (Acts 5:41-42).

Conclusions

The first application is the straightforward invitation to have your shame covered by Jesus. And you must be entirely covered. When Jesus came to wash the feet of Peter, Peter was apparently embarrassed, ashamed to have the Lord wash his feet, but Jesus said to him: “If I do not wash you, you have no part with me” (Jn. 13:8). And Peter immediately got the point and asked for the full bath. The same is true for our shame. Unless Jesus covers you, you have no part with Him. Jesus has white robes for everyone who comes to Him, but you must come (Rev. 3:18). This invitation is for all sinners and all sin, but it is particularly for the sins and filth that you think cannot be covered: the shame of sexual sin, the shame of abortion, the shame of divorce, the shame of wayward children, the shame of being fired from your job. He even covers the shame of things that are not necessarily our fault — not being married, not having children, not accomplishing the great things you said/thought you would. Take it to Jesus, He’s waiting outside the camp.

The second application is that whatever Jesus has covered with His blood and righteousness is utterly blameless, and you must not give a wit for the accusations of the Devil or the shame-weaponizing of the world (Col. 2:14-15, Heb. 2:14-15). When Peter and John rejoiced to suffer shame for the name of Jesus, they did not cease to preach and teach Jesus Christ. So too, when you are privileged to suffer shame for the name of Jesus, do not cease to walk with Jesus. Do not slow down. Do not hesitate. If you have been forgiven, then learn to teach transgressors the ways of God, so that sinners will be converted (Ps. 51:13). “And ye shall eat in plenty, and be satisfied, and praise the name of the LORD your God, that hath dealt wondrously with you: and my people shall never be ashamed. And ye shall know that I am in the midst of Israel, and that I am the LORD your God, and none else: and my people shall never be ashamed” (Joel 2:26-27).

Do not grow weary, lay aside every weight, and fix your eyes on Jesus, who despised the shame for you.

Grace Agenda 2019

April 5-6th | Moscow, ID

Click here for more information.

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