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On Dating and Relationships

Christ Church on February 10, 2022

Collegiate Reformed Fellowship is the campus ministry of Christ Church and Trinity Reformed Church in Moscow, Idaho. Our goal is to teach and exhort young men and women to serve, to witness, to stand fast, and to mature in their Christian Faith. We desire to see students get established in a godly lifestyle and a trajectory toward maturity. We also desire to proclaim the Christian worldview to the university population and the surrounding communities. CRF is not an independent ministry. All our activities are supplemental to the teaching and shepherding ministry of CC & TRC. Students involved with CRF are regularly reminded that the most important student ministry takes place at Lord’s Day worship.

Wisdom for Kings and Queens

Christ Church on February 3, 2022

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Am I Ready for Marriage?

Christ Church on February 3, 2022

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Fear the Lord & Love Your Kids

Christ Church on January 30, 2022

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INTRODUCTION

God has made the world such that wisdom and understanding (and therefore power and influence) are to increase over the course of generations under His blessing. But when cultures rebel, God gives them over to a kind of drunken stupor, and this is where dark ages come from.

God’s blessing is on those who fear Him, and the center of all human rebellion is a refusal to fear the Lord. But we must be mindful of the fact that there is always a temptation among religious types to try to manufacture the fear of the Lord, which only prolongs the judgment. So our central task in parenting is to fear the Lord, and raise our children in the fear of the Lord so that God’s blessing may be upon them, and upon our children’s children.

THE TEXT

“Wherefore the Lord said, forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honor me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men…” (Is. 29:13-29)

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Just before our text, we are told that God’s people are drunk with a spirit of illiteracy (29:9-12). This is because God’s people are drawing near to Him with words but not in their hearts, and the only kind of fear they have of the Lord is the kind that is taught by the precepts of men (29:13). Therefore, God has determined to do this marvelous work of striking them drunk, such that even their wisest men will be incompetent (29:14). And even though they squirm and pontificate, all of it will be used by God the Potter to turn everything upside down (Is. 29:15-17). He will cause the deaf to hear and the blind to see; He will lift up the humble and poor and put down the scorners and plotters (29:18-21). God’s people will not be ashamed, and when they see how God saves their own children, they will fear God rightly and fools will learn understanding (29:22-24).

COVENANT SUCCESSION & THE FEAR OF THE LORD

The particular thing this text zeros in on is a contrast between a faux fear of the Lord, the kind that is manufactured by men, and the real fear of the Lord, the kind that only the Lord can give (compare 29:13 and 29:23). This authentic fear of the Lord is taught through the earth-shaking, sovereign works of the Lord (23:14-21), but it is manifest particularly in the marvelous gift of believing children (29:23).

This sets up the goal of the increasing momentum of covenant succession: your job is to fear the Lord so that you might teach your children (Dt. 4:10, 5:29, 6:2), and this text says that the gift of believing children increases a right fear of the Lord (Is. 29:23). The goal is for this to snowball, to pick up steam, to turn into an avalanche of God’s blessing. This is not something that we can manufacture, and that is why the central thing is the fear of the Lord.

What is the fear of the Lord? Abraham did not withhold his only son from the Lord because he feared the Lord (Gen. 22:12). The midwives feared the Lord and disobeyed the king of Egypt and saved the Hebrew baby boys alive (Ex. 1:17). The fear of the Lord sings praises and glorifies God (Ps. 22:23). The fear of the Lord is to hate evil, pride, arrogance, and a perverse mouth (Prov. 8:13). The fear of the Lord is conscientious, joyful, believing obedience to God no matter what (Dt. 31:12).

SOME SCATTERSHOT PRINCIPLES

There are a number of temptations that face a community like ours where God has been in the process of blessing our families over generations. One of them is to take that blessing for granted, another is for new believers or new folks joining us to latch on to certain external forms without understanding or embracing the substance. Both of these temptations are variations on thinking that the fear of the Lord can be taught by the precept of men (Is. 29:13). But none of us should want that kind of cheap knock off. So, what we want to do is fear the Lord honestly and apply these principles, without getting wound tight about the exact method. “The fear of man is a snare, but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord will be safe” (Prov. 29:25).

Christian parenting is like the rest of your Christian life: it proceeds from faith in the promises of God. So what are those promises? “And they shall be my people, and I will be their God: And I will give them one heart, and one way, that they may fear me forever, for the good of them, and of their children after them: And I will make an everlasting covenant with them, that I will not turn away from them, to do them good; but I will put my fear in their hearts, that they shall not depart from me” (Jer. 32:38-40, cf. Is. 59:21, Ez. 37:24-26). And faith in the promises means being calm and confident and no panicking.
This faith in the promises goes together with the joy of the Lord: “Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him. For He knows our frame; he remembereth that we are dust… But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear Him, and His righteousness unto children’s children” (Ps. 103: 13-14, 17). This mercy is not begrudging: God rejoices over His people (Is. 62:5, Zeph. 3:17). Our joy is fundamentally in God’s covenant mercy. Christian parenting is sharing this kindness and joy with our children.
The central command that God gives children is to obey their parents, and the central command that God gives parents is to teach their children to obey them (Dt. 6, Eph. 6). Obedience is right away, all the way, and cheerfully. This is the task of discipleship, and discipleship consists of both positive and negative discipline. Think of obedience like a skill, and parenting like coaching. Good coaches teach and practice a lot, before the game. Practice obedience regularly. Negative discipline must be used when a child refuses to obey. The rod of correction is love (Prov. 13:24, Heb. 12:6). And some children need lots of love. Remember also that we become like our friends (Prov. 13:20). Seek out godly covenant community.

CONCLUSION: THE WORK OF HIS HANDS

“Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain that build it… Children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is His reward (Ps. 127:1). Believing children are a gift from the Lord, the work of His hands (Is. 29:23). And it is a gift that God loves to give. So ask Him for it.

“Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thy house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord” (Ps. 128:3-4). Fear the Lord, believe His promises, rejoice in His goodness, and love your kids and grandkids.

Reforming the Family

Christ Church on November 21, 2021

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INTRODUCTION

We understand that there is no such thing as a healthy Christian community without a large number of healthy Christian families. Just as you cannot have a good omelet without good eggs, so also it is impossible to have a cheerful town, or church, or community, when all the households are just little oases of misery.

THE TEXT

“Trust in the Lord, and do good; So shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the Lord; And he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; Trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: Fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: Fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. For evildoers shall be cut off: But those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth” (Psalm 37:3–9).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

At the beginning of our passage, we are told (simply) to trust God and to do good (v. 3). The consequence of this is that you will dwell in the land and you will be nourished (v. 3). When you delight in the Lord, your desires are thereby calibrated (v. 4). Not only are they calibrated, but they are also granted. This is why Augustine could say something like “love God and do as you please.” The future is a big unknown, and God is the only one who holds it in the palm of His hand. That is why we must commit our plans to Him (v. 5), and He will bring it to pass. He is the one who will make your righteousness and your judgment shine like the midday sun (v. 6). Rest in the Lord, and rest in His timeline (v. 7). The wicked can seem like they are getting ahead because of how they cut corners, pursuing a “quick growth” prosperity. Don’t get worked up about it (v. 8). This is because God will cut off the evildoers, and those who wait upon the Lord will be the ones who inherit the earth (v. 9).

CONFESSION IN THE FAMILY

When we tolerate or nurture unconfessed sin in our lives, this makes it impossible for us to delight in the Lord. When we are disobedient, God’s hand is on us for chastisement (Heb. 12:11; Ps. 32:4), and God does know how to spank. But if we walk in the light as He is the light, we have fellowship with one another (1 John 1:7). And in order to clear the way so that we can walk in the light, it is necessary for us to confess the ways we have walked in accord with darkness (1 John 1:8-10).

This is an illustration I use in my premarital counseling, and because I am not tired of using it, I am going to bring it in here. Imagine two houses, side by side. Five kids in each one, husbands work at the same company, they attend the same church, the wives are good friends, and they drive the same kind of van. The only difference you can see between the two homes is that one is immaculate and the other one is blitzed. But this difference is not created by how many breakfast bowls are used, or how many t-shirts are put on in the morning, or how many shoes are put on in the morning. That is all the same. The difference lies in when things are cleaned, picked up, and put away. That is where the difference is.

Now far too many conservative Christian evangelical households are (spiritually speaking) something like the closets at the crazy cat lady’s house.

COVENANT IN THE FAMILY

We live in the midst of covenant realities, and covenants are larger than the sum of their parts. Covenant realities are realities, which is another way of saying that your family is a thing in the world. It is not simply a “living arrangement.”

We as Christians are members of the new covenant, of course, as the prophet Jeremiah predicted (Jer. 31: 33ff). The Church is a covenant reality. But we are a covenant reality all the way down. Marriages are what they are by covenant. The faithless wife in Proverbs was faithless because she forgot the covenant of her God (Prov. 2:17). The faithless husbands in Malachi were faithless because they had dealt treacherously with the wives of their covenant (Mal. 2:14).

What is needed in many households is an understood structure for your obedience. Your family’s last name is a thing, a covenantal thing, an entity. And because it is an institution created by God, He is the one who writes the by-laws. He is the one who assigns the various offices, and He is one who gives us our respective duties.

FRUITFUL HONOR

Do you want to dwell in the land? Do you want to inherit the earth (Ps. 37:11)? What is the first commandment with a promise then? “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth” (Eph. 6:1–3). This required honor takes two forms. The first is the obedience that children should render to their parents. The second is the financial support that grown children must render to their parents: “But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free. And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother; Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye” (Mark 7:11–13).

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO CALL SOMETHING CHRISTIAN?

Christ is the Second Person of the Trinity, and is therefore omnipresent. He is everywhere present. But He is not present everywhere covenantally. And so what do we mean when we say something—like our household—is Christian? We should mean that Christ is present, and present covenantally.

“Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord” (Acts 3:19).

Is your home a Christian one? Have times of refreshing arrived there from the presence of the Lord?