At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)
“The rod and reproof give wisdom: But a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame” (Prov. 29:15).
This is not the only place in Proverbs that praises the rod of correction in the practice of child rearing. Here the word child means “lad,” or young man. This verse, and others like it, give the lie to those advocates of “gentle parenting,” who want children to grow up into the paths of righteousness—with parents only supplying a gentle nudge from time to time.
But much more is required than that. Our proverb says that a rod and reproof deliver wisdom. Wisdom, in other words, comes from the flat of the rod. But it is only going to be the case if the rod has wisdom on the other end of it also. The one wielding the rod must be wise if the one receiving the strokes is to grow in wisdom at all. Inconsistent discipline, or erratic discipline, or petulant discipline, is not going to impart wisdom. This is because wisdom is not going from the wood to the boy, but rather from the man to the boy.
Two other things must be mentioned. The first is that children are not to be thought of as naturally good. What happens when a child is left to his own devices? Where will a child wind up if he is left to himself? The answer here is plain—it will be something that humiliates his mother.
We can see that wisdom can be imparted, or not, by the behavior of the parents. We know this for two reasons. The first is that the verse commands parents to impart wisdom by this means. If God tells us to do something like this, it must be possible to do. That’s the first thing. The second is the mother’s humiliation. Parents are shamed by the bad behavior of their children because their behavior had something to do with it.