Grace & Peace: Proverbs 25:20

At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

“As an earring of gold, and an ornament of fine gold, so is a wise reprover upon an obedient ear” (Proverbs 25:12).

The way this proverb begins, it makes us think of a very different one. “As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion” (Proverbs 11:22). This would be a study in contrasts—a piece of fine jewelry that clashes with the swinish reality it adorns. The beauty of the woman is the jewelry, and the lack of discretion is the pig.

But this proverb is one that represents true adornment. It does not try to be the woman’s beauty, or to hide the woman’s spiritual ugliness. What jewelry does is augment, supplement, highlight what is already there. But in order for it to do that, the reality must already be there.

In this case, when a person is receptive to admonition, that is called an “obedient ear.” The end result of what happens here is that such a person is adorned as a consequence of what happens. But notice that it is not just any old reprover. This is a wise reprover.

A wise reprover is like a talented jeweler, who knew how to set the stone. He was a cunning man, who knew how to shape the gold, fashioning it into something that would make a beautiful woman far more beautiful. So in the parable, receptivity to correction is compared to a natural beauty. The man who brings admonition in all wisdom is a talented jeweler, who knows how to avoid doing too much, and how to keep from being ineffectual by doing too little.

And notice also that to be the recipient of a wise reproof is nothing to be ashamed of. Wear it with your head held high.

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

“Go not forth hastily to strive, lest thou know not what to do in the end thereof, when thy neighbour hath put thee to shame” (Proverbs 25:8).

“Do not go hastily to court; For what will you do in the end, when your neighbor has put you to shame?” (Proverbs 25:8, NKJV).

We might summarize this proverb right at the beginning by saying that we “shouldn’t start what we can’t finish.”

The key word here is “hastily.” Just as a king should not go to war without counting his troops (Luke 14:31), or a builder of towers should take a third look at the budget (Luke 14:28), so in the same way an aspiring litigant should take a long, hard look at his case.

The only people who almost always profit in such circumstances would be the lawyers. This is one reason why court cases don’t easily end, as the joke goes, because lawyers bill by the hour, and not by the outcome.

So this proverb is urging is to avoid the legal system equivalent of road rage. In the heat of the moment, when the “offense,” whatever it is, has just been committed, a man’s anger can make absolutely everything seem open and shut. When he tells his family and friends about it, they concur, and because they have not remembered Proverbs 18:17, they urge him on.

The thing that we are being encouraged to avoid is the shame and embarrassment when your neighbor pulls out the contract that you forgot that you had signed and, as it turns out, he did not forget that you had signed.

With all this said and acknowledged, we need to remember that there is a difference between “hastily” and “suddenly.” A hasty move is impulsive. A man who has been careful to think things through beforehand might, when the occasion is right, move suddenly and decisively. But that is not at all like the lurch of the imprudent man.

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

“Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.” (Proverbs 19:18).

While There is Hope

There are two basic truths about child rearing that we glean from this proverb. The first is that time is a real issue, and the second is that the response of the child might create a temptation to forget that time is a real issue.

One of the things I came to realize when I was building my house was a fundamental reality about pouring concrete. This was true whether you were talking about a foundation, or a sidewalk, or a patio, or steps. The good thing about working with concrete is that, no matter what, two hours later you are all done. The concrete sets, and that means that it must be worked before it sets. This proverb tells us that there is a way in which children are like this. Work with your son while you have time. While there is hope. While the sun is still up and the concrete is still wet.

The way that you work the child/concrete is by means of chastening. That is one of the central things you do with the time that you have.

The second thing we learn from this proverb is that a child is concrete that can talk back, argue, cry, or wail. This is concrete that does not like to be worked. The child has negative opinions about being worked. Parents should not be surprised when a child is being noisy about it.

The message of Scripture here is plain. Do not be deterred. Do not lighten up because the concrete prefers a rough texture and would rather not be that smooth.

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

“The lot causeth contentions to cease, and parteth between the mighty” (Proverbs 18:18).

“Casting lots causes contentions to cease, and keeps the mighty apart” (Proverbs 18:18, NKJV).

When a dispute has arisen, and it looks intractable, and that means that major conflict appears to be inevitable, then perhaps that is a time when someone should suggest that they just flip for it.

This obviously would not work for some controversies, but I think we might be surprised at how many times it could work. There are controversies where neither side is all that eager for the conflict, but they like the look of “backing down” even less. They don’t want the dispute, but they don’t want to look weak either. Perhaps they have friends who are looking at them with a judgmental eye. Perhaps the wife thinks he ought to be more assertive. He doesn’t want to seem like a pushover.

What the proposal to “flip for it” does is provide a face-saving way around the conflict. As the proverb puts it, this is a good way to make contentions cease.

Not only is this the case, but it would not just work on ten-year-old boys. The proverb tells us that this is a technique that can keep the mighty apart. Now I understand that we might not want our diplomats at major peace talks to go out into the hallway to do the rock paper scissors thing, especially when there is a genuine matter of principle involved. We never want to flip on whether or not to do a righteous thing or not.

But how many times has an opportunity for resolution been squandered because we were unwilling to try something that Scripture says could work. When there needs to be conflict, then let there be conflict. But there are times when there doesn’t need to be conflict, and perhaps we should be a little more willing to pull out a quarter.

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