At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour’s house; Lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee.

Proverbs 25:17

One of the things that friends do is wreck their friendships. This is not what is intended, but that doesn’t keep it from happening.

This proverb says that it happens by means of wearing out your welcome. It is always a good idea to leave while everybody is still having fun. If you have overstayed your welcome, and then finally say something like “well, I guess we ought to think about going, and your host is immediately standing right by the door, holding your coat and hat, then this should be your indication that you have done a Prov. 25:17 blooper.

Always leave when people are sorry to see you go. And this is because the alternative is staying until they are exasperated by the shape of your head. If you believe that your hosts would be happy to have you stay until 9 pm, then you should make a point of being done by 8:45. Every five minutes before 9 is the equivalent of ten minutes, and every five minutes after 9 is the equivalent of half an hour.

Once you have overstayed your welcome, and your host notices it, he goes through two stages. The first is that he grows weary. And when he grows weary of you it becomes easy to find fault—first with this particular tedious situation, but then the exasperation can grow and expand, with the end result is that he hates you. Once the fault finding begins, it can be difficult to stop.

The sin here is that of taking a friendship for granted. You start to believe that because you “are friends” you are somehow entitled to take presumptive advantage of him. And that is way to lose friends. We sometimes think that when we have close friends, they are supposed to cover our little discourtesies. And even though they might do so, the discourtesy of taking advantage this way can grow to the point where it is hard to overlook. 

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and without walls.

Proverbs 25:28

Temptations are invaders. They come at the small city of your life, and seek to overthrow it, reducing it to shambles. Someone with self-control (one of the fruits of the Spirit) is someone with a militia or company that is capable of defending intact walls. Someone without that fruit is someone whose walls are broken down, and who has dispirited soldiers retreating through the rubble.

Without self-control, without self-government, the necessary result is that someone or something else is going to seize the power of government. Either you rule over your own city, and keep the walls intact, or you let the walls go, and someone else will rule.

Why would someone let their walls deteriorate? Well, budgets reflect priorities, and some people do not want to spend all that much money on defense spending. They would rather that it go to beer, or concerts, or something that tickles the nerve endings.

Building the city walls requires undergoing hardship, and that of course is . . . hard. But when the orc hordes come pouring through the walls, that also introduces a certain measure of hardship. And unlike the first kind of hardship that you worked hard to evade, this second kind of hardship is hard all the way through, and all the way down.

And this is why self-control should be considered a militant virtue. It builds the city walls. Think of your need for self-control as one of the Israelites following the lead of Nehemiah. You want to be working with a sword in one hand and a trowel in the other.

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

Children’s children are the crown of old men; And the glory of children are their fathers.

Proverbs 17:6

The crown of old men is a good bit downstream, while the crown and glory of children is immediately upstream. The crown of old men is the future, while the glory of children is the past.

Notice also that these terms—crown and glory—have to do with honor, and the right kind of pride. There is a sort of pride that goes before destruction, and it is the kind of pride that is swathed in a haughty spirit. But there is another kind of pride or pleasure, and it is exhibited here in this proverb. We also saw the ultimate expression of this kind of thing at the baptism of Jesus, where the Father said, “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well-pleased.”

Ignorant fathers might want to say that they would take pleasure in their children and grandchildren if they would only be a bit more like Jesus. But perhaps it is because somebody else doesn’t want to be more like the Father.

This proverb is talking about family lines in a fallen world, and is talking about what it looks like when they are functioning properly. Children should think the world of their dad, and dads should live his life in such a way as to not interfere with that most natural impulse. Children want to be proud of their parents, particularly their fathers. And old men want to wear the crown of their grandchildren.

When and where this is not happening, it is because something else (something bad) has happened. That something else probably has something to do with the acids of modern life, eating away at the relationships that God has set to function in this way. Something is wrong, in other words.

The solution is to find a church community that understands the proper role and position of the family, and honors it, not as a rival, but as a constituent part of the congregation. And teaches from the Scriptures accordingly.

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

The hoary head is a crown of glory, If it be found in the way of righteousness.

Proverbs 16:31

In this fallen world, there is no such thing as automatic holiness. Salvation is a process that begins in time, and it grows to maturity over time. But time is only a part of the process.

The Scriptures here describe a gray head as a crown of glory, but there is a very important qualifier added. Provided . . . That proviso is that the gray head must be found in the way of righteousness. Righteousness over an extended period of time is glorious, and the more time there is, the better it is. But if that is missing, then something else happens.

Everyone ages at the same rate of speed, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Time is one precious resource that everyone has the same amount of—but some use it to destroy themselves, while others, by following the path of righteousness, forge themselves a crown of glory.

Wisdom is fruit, and fruit can be good and wholesome, or fruit can go bad. When it ripens, it ripens over time. When it goes rotten, it goes rotten over time.

When the godly age, they must deal with what all the elderly have to deal with—aches, pains, afflictions, and more (Ecc. 12). But they should never forget that God describes their faithfulness, even in this time of diminished ability, as a season of glory. Time does not erase God’s faithfulness, and it does not abrogate our ability to pray to Him on the basis of His promises.

“The days of our years are threescore years and ten; And if by reason of strength they be fourscore years, Yet is their strength labour and sorrow; For it is soon cut off, and we fly away . . . And let the beauty of the Lord our God be upon us: And establish thou the work of our hands upon us; Yea, the work of our hands establish thou it” (Psalm 90:10, 17).

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At thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore (Ps. 16: 11)

The Lord hath made all things for himself: Yea, even the wicked for the day of evil.

Proverbs 16:4

We do live in clownworld times, and it is precisely during such times that we need a regular bracing dose of what might be called yellow cake Calvinism.

Of course, we thank the Lord for all the good things He bestows on us. We are not ungrateful for the pleasant things. When the lines fall for us in pleasant places, we thank the Lord (Ps. 16:6). When He grants us life and breath and good things, and we are supposed to be grateful (Acts 17:25). He gives wine to gladden the heart of man, and this is entirely a good thing (Ps. 104:15).

But what are Christians supposed to do in times of disintegration? What should our response be when all the wheels are apparently coming off? We need to remind ourselves that when things are apparently out of our control, this does not at all mean that God is losing His grip. And the worse things get, the more we need to be reminded. If disaster befalls a city, has not the Lord done it (Amos 3:6).

And this is the truth that this proverb reminds us of. The Lord did not just make some things for Himself. He made all things for Himself. God is determined to obtain glory from absolutely everything, even from the impudence of Pharaoh. God has made all things for Himself, even the wicked for the day of evil.

So as we find ourselves surrounded by days of evil, incompetence, spiritual stupidity, insolence, pride, malice, and hatred of God’s people, we should know that God has made all things for Himself—even this, and especially this.

When the kings of the earth appeared to have things all going their way, and they had the Christ arrested, within their power, and they could do absolutely anything they wanted to Him, they decided to put Him to death. And by doing that, they brought the reign of Satan down into shambles, and unwittingly arranged for your salvation and mine. If God can do something that marvelous with a deed as wicked as that, do you really think He is going to be stumped by our particular carnival of folly?

God’s people need simply to wait patiently, in order to see what the Lord is up to. Because He is up to something.

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