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Marriage Seminar Q&A – Part 1

Christ Church on February 9, 2021

Sons & Daughters

Christ Church on January 24, 2021

INTRODUCTION

Sons & daughters, hang with me here, are different. If you hand a girl a nerf gun, she’ll wrap it in a blanket and put it to bed. If you hand a doll to a boy, somehow he’ll turn it into a gun. As fathers and mothers, you are called to raise your sons and daughters in the fear and admonition of the Lord. But while the Lord admonishes certain things to all people––male or female––He admonishes certain things for boys who are to become men, and girls who are to become women.

THE TEXT

I will sing a new song unto thee, O God: upon a psaltery and an instrument of ten strings will I sing praises unto thee. It is he that giveth salvation unto kings: who delivereth David his servant from the hurtful sword. Rid me, and deliver me from the hand of strange children, whose mouth speaketh vanity, and their right hand is a right hand of falsehood: That our sons may be as plants grown up in their youth; that our daughters may be as corner stones, polished after the similitude of a palace: That our garners may be full, affording all manner of store: that our sheep may bring forth thousands and ten thousands in our streets: That our oxen may be strong to labour; that there be no breaking in, nor going out; that there be no complaining in our streets. Happy is that people, that is in such a case: yea, happy is that people, whose God is the LORD” (Psalm 144:9-15).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

=The first half of this Psalm deals with David at war (vs1-8), and the second half deals with David at peace. But underneath it all is God’s favor, and thus His strengthening blessing. God strengthened David’s hands (v1) to war against “strange children (v7).” But it is also God who establishes the peace and prosperity of a kingdom.

After blessing God for granting him might and victory in battle, David sings a new song of praise (v9). Salvation is from God (v10), and so he requests continued deliverance from “the hand of strange children” (v11).

This deliverance is requested so that peace might be enjoyed by the nation. This peace is presented in terms of familial prosperity. God’s favor in conflict brought strength for battle against enemies, but God’s favor in peace looks like happy households.

The olive plants around the table (Ps. 128:3) are intended to grow into masculine strength and feminine glory respectively. By God’s favor in deliverance, Israel’s sons might grow up into sequoias, and their daughters might be the family’s hidden ornaments family together like polished cornerstones (v12). Garners are filled, the table is laden, the flocks are fertile, the oxen are hardy, and there are no “mostly peaceful protests” (vs13-14). This is true happiness, but it is only because God is their Lord (v15).

SONS OF COURAGE

Children are a blessing from the Lord, but not an automatic blessing. After all, “A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him (Pro 17:25).” The greatest folly which a son can disappoint his parents with is a lack of courage. Boys are to be raised to die. They need to learn to be ready to die in battle protecting their treasured wives, daughters, and mothers; or else to die in backbreaking provision for the household.

Sons need straight lines. Go take that hill. Go conquer that enemy. Go obtain that treasure. Go rescue that damsel.Sons are to be raised to be men who can rule kingdoms, take dominion, and build wealth. To do this, they must first learn to take dominion of their appetites.

DAUGHTERS OF CHASTITY

While sons need straight lines, daughters need circles. Circles of safety. Circles of companionship. Circles of security. Circles of industry.

In Titus 2:4-5, we are told how older women are to instruct young women, “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Whereas sons are raised up to die, daughters are raised up to give life. She gives life by following the Apostle’s instructions to be “into husband, and into children.” This chastity is to recognize that her privilege is that of bearing life, bringing life, and sustaining life. The home which she keeps is the incubator of life, and she does all this in order that God’s Word be honored.

Daughters are to be raised to be queens of nations, industrious in their creativity, and give nurture and refreshment. To do this, they must first learn to take dominion of their emotions.

FATHERS, MOTHERS, SONS, AND DAUGHTERS

Your father points, your mother encircles. Children need direction and they need nurture. Sons which never grow up into sturdy oaks are the result of some combination of a pampering mother and an ambivalent father. Daughters which don’t become finely crafter palace ornaments are the result of fathers who aren’t affectionate towards them, and mothers riddled with envy and rivalry.

Mothers, you must not raise your sons to be safe. You are a mother, not a smother. You must raise your daughters to be loving wives, and loving mothers, and thus you must model this in your own marriage and parenting.

Fathers, you must not raise your sons to be self-indulgent. You are teaching them to be warrior-poets, not black-holes. Teach them to make, not take. You must raise your daughters to know and understand that they are rare treasures, which you prize highly.

A HAPPY PEOPLE

We talk of our rights for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. We will not be a happy people merely by economic prosperity. Better is a crumb in peace than a feast with contention. However, a happy home is a blessing indeed, a prosperous home is a blessing indeed, a nation at peace is a blessing indeed. But the closing lines of this Psalm are not either or; rather it is intended to draw out how much more happy a people is who enjoy the electing grace of God upon them.

Happy is the people who are in such a case, but that happiness is exponentially heightened when the bedrock underneath, the waves washing overtop, the air all around is God’s favor. This favor is not found anywhere other than in His beloved Son. God will not look with favor on a people who are not in Christ. So turn to Christ, both you, the wife of your youth, your sons, your daughters, reckon yourselves in Christ, and enjoy the favor of God. God who forgives your sins. God who grants everlasting life. God who also gives sons like oak, daughters like beautifully carved palatial adornments, garners full of the fruit of hard work, and city streets empty of complaining.

Fathers & Mothers

Christ Church on January 17, 2021

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INTRODUCTION

The US Congress recently introduced the rules for their new legislative session. They struck gendered familial terminology (i.e. father, mother, son, daughter, etc.) from the House’s rules for legislators. The recent events of our nation reveal our void of fathers and mothers. This is just one more effort by the godless to further erode the biblical structure for families.

THE TEXTS

“For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, Of whom the whole family in heaven and earth is named” (Eph. 3:14-15).

“But Jerusalem which is above is free, which is the mother of us all” (Gal. 4:26).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXTS

When we think about Fatherhood and Motherhood we need to sweep out the clutter. These roles are not optional add-ons which you can discuss with the dealership. They aren’t social constructs which support the oppression of victims. They aren’t the evolutionary development of our species ability to babble some sounds and then linking them with our immediate ancestors. They aren’t interchangeable parts of machinery.

Your father and mother are earthly shadows of cosmic realities. God is your Father, the Church is your Mother. That is the evident in these two texts from the pen of Paul.

In Ephesians 3:14-15, Paul bends his knee to God the Father; every family derives its name from God’s Fatherhood. You don’t have family without fatherhood, and you don’t have any of it without God the Father and Creator. In Greek, you can’t say family (patria) without saying father (patera). In other words, God’s Fatherhood fills the world and fills our earthly families as the inescapable reality. In Him we live and move and have our being.

Furthermore, God has taken a bride for His Son, our Lord Jesus, and she is our Mother. Paul, while making the case that we are delivered from the bondage to sin which the mosaic Law revealed, he uses the imagery of Hagar and Sarah. Two mothers: one a slave, one a free-woman. Which one is your mother? Mother Kirk is a fertile mother, because she is marked by grace and thus life springs from her; whereas Hagar (the bond-woman/Sinai), brings bondage and death (Gal. 4:26).

CHILDREN OF PROMISE

Children who grow up without parents or with unmarried parents are faced with a deck of statistics stacked against them. With few exceptions, their lifetime income is significantly lower; their education level will not go as high; their likelihood of being abused and then abusing in turn shoots through the roof; their prospects are bleak by almost every metric. Children were not intended to exist in a covenantal void. Scripture is concerned with bastard children, which is why it placed heavy penalties on rape, pre-marital sex, and adultery (Cf. Lev. 18), as well as provision for the care of fatherless children (Deu. 16:11, Ps. 68:5).

So, if you are a father or mother, you must not think of your duty as being in a separate container from your marriage vows, and the consummation of those vows. You are a husband and a wife first. The potency of this covenantal love produces children. Your children are children of a promise, even as believers the whole family are children of the Promise.

COVENANT DUTY OF FATHERS AND MOTHERS

So Fathers are first husbands which are called to be faithful to their promise of loving and cherishing. Mothers are first wives which are called to faithfully fulfill their vow to submit and obey.

A father which exhibits for his children that he doesn’t beam with delight over their mother (Is. 62:5), isn’t attentive to her (1 Pt. 3:7), doesn’t shower her with love (1 Ti. 5:8) will teach them to railroad her (Pro. 10:1). Husbands love their wives practically by full bank accounts, full cupboards, full closets, and full wombs.

Mothers which run down their husband in front of the kids (2 Sam. 16-23), swerving the opposite direction he is leading (Eph. 5:22), or criticizing his leadership at every turn (Pro 21:19) is teaching her children to be lawless rebels. Wives respect their husbands by bearing his name, and being his glory; she demonstrates this respect practically by not being an indecipherable code to get into, but by being ready for him and responding to him in all spheres of their relations (sexually, directionally, financially).

Lazy, inattentive husbands and bitter, nagging wives are teaching the children more than just how to be unpleasant humans. A sin-riddled marriage is presenting a false Gospel, and marred understanding of God the Father, Christ the Son, and His Bride.

It’s vital that we see that Fathers and Mothers are cosmic categories. Husbands show their children how Christ laid down his life for the church. Wives show their children what joyful obedience to Christ should be. Not only are you teaching them about Fatherhood and Motherhood, but also the glorious Gospel of sacrificial love, responded to in joyful response.

COVERED IN SAWDUST & FLOUR

These covenantal duties are not pie-in-the-sky intangibles. Rather, these spiritual duties are earthy, and are covered in sawdust and flour.

In Scripture, fathers name; a fathers’ word carry great weight. Fathers provide and protect. Fathers represent God to their families and their families to God. Father’s correct and teach. Fathers sacrifice and intercede. Fathers rule and lead. Fathers head their home.

Mothers respond to this headship by being fruitful. Indeed without the Father, she cannot bear fruit. As the one who bears and nurtures new humans she is to be held in high honor. They are to be fountains of the sort of wisdom which might be worn proudly around the neck of their offspring (Pr. 1:8-9). They are to be industrious, and laugh at all the troubles which are around the bend (Pro. 31:25). Mothers give glorified life and nourishment that is provided by the Father.

ADOPTED AS JOINT-HEIRS WITH CHRIST

In Reformed theology we generally emphasize justification and sanctification. We blast through the mega-phone that you are not saved by your works of righteousness, you are justified in God’s sight only because of Christ’s righteousness and death in your place. We exhort each other to holiness and growth in sanctification because God has set us apart to be a holy people. But we must not gloss over the fact that one of the terms which is frequently included in NT descriptions of salvation is adoption (Gal 4:4-7).

>God the Father, by the redeeming work of His Son, has delivered you from bondage to the law of sin and death. This isn’t like one cruel slave-master defeating another cruel slave-master, and your just caught in the crossfire. Rather, Paul tells us that you are no more a servant, but a son. In other words, you now have a share in the inheritance which belongs to Christ Jesus: resurrection life, everlasting joy, unending glory. You have been adopted as sons. Your Father in Heaven has given to Mother Kirk the Bread of Life and the Wine of Relief, and she has spread a table for the nourishment of her children. The children of grace and glory.

Great David’s Greater Son

Christ Church on December 6, 2020

INTRODUCTION

The season of Advent is often painted in the dark hues of solemnity. Advent is a season of waiting, hoping, longing. But this longing, as our fellow saints of the Old Testament demonstrate, need not have too much starch in the collar. The expectation of Israel was jovial, and thus gilded with glistening gold and silver, clothed in royal red and priestly white, vigorously dancing.

THE TEXT

“LORD, remember David, and all his afflictions: How he sware unto the LORD, and vowed unto the mighty God of Jacob; Surely I will not come into the tabernacle of my house, nor go up into my bed; I will not give sleep to mine eyes, or slumber to mine eyelids, Until I find out a place for the LORD, an habitation for the mighty God of Jacob…” (Ps. 132:1–18).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

This not a Psalm of David; rather it is a Psalm about David. As one of the Psalms of Ascent, it would have been sung by pilgrims going up to Jerusalem for their holy feasts. The first stanza of the Psalm is a petition for the Lord to remember David and all his afflictions, but more specifically his restless desire to build a house for the Lord and the ark (vv.1-5).

The second stanza is a meditation on the worshippers and the sanctuary being made ready for joyful worship at the Lord’s footstool (vv6-9). We then come to the hub around which this Psalm turns. The worshippers petition God––for David’s sake––to not turn away the face of the anointed (the Messiah/Christ). The Lord’s response is that He will by no means turn away from what He swore to David: “Of the fruit of thy body will I set upon thy throne.” David’s children, in light of this promise, are called to keep that covenant, and evermore shall David have an heir (vv10-12, Cf. 2 Sam. 7:12, 2 Chr. 6:10).

The reason for this arrangement is that God has chosen Zion as His resting place (in answer to their request of vs 8). Because God rests in their midst, blessings abound: bread for the poor, garments for the priests, boisterous songs from the lips of the saints, a fruitful King––from David’s line––Whose lamp won’t be extinguished, Whose enemies will be brought to shame, and Whose crown will never tarnish (vv13-18).

GABRIEL’S WORD TO MARY

When the angel Gabriel is sent to Mary that she would bear the Messiah, it is framed in terms of God’s promise to David which we find in poetical form in this Psalm. Gabriel comes to a virgin, espoused to a man named Joseph who was of the house of David (Lk. 1:27). The angel informs Mary that she had found favor with God (Lk. 1:30), she would conceive and bring forth a son who would be named Jesus (Lk. 1:31); this son would be great, and what the Lord swore to David in Psalm 132 would be fulfilled in Mary’s son (Lk. 1:32). Her son would eternally reign over the house of Jacob, and would rule over a never-ending kingdom (Lk. 1:33).

In short, the tidings which Gabriel brought were royal tidings. To put it another way, the prayers of godly saints––epitomized by the poetic words of Psalm 132––for God to restore Israel by fulfilling His oath to raise up from David’s line a king to David’s throne were being answered by the Son of God becoming a Son of David.

CHRIST CAME TO BE KING

Israel is not right except a Son of David is sitting on the throne. As Trufflehunter the Badger would tell you, any other arrangement is how you get a hundred years of Narnian winter, presided over by White Witches.

King David was a remarkable king particularly for his zeal for the worship of God. He longed to restore the Ark of Covenant to Zion. He danced like a fool when it finally was brought to its resting place. His life’s goal, which he vowed to perform, was to build a house for the Lord, a house in which true worship of the Living God might be done.

David swore to build a house for the Lord, and then the Lord swore to put a son of David on the throne. So when the Advent of the promised Christ is given, we should not be at all taken aback when the language is that of a King. Christ came to be a King over Israel, and the scope of Israel’s borders were now global. As that wonderful line from the carol puts it, he was “born a child and yet a King.” The story of the Old Testament was God calling the patriarchs, then Moses, then David to build a house for God. The Patriarchs were a house of people. Moses erected a tent to be a dwelling place for God’s presence amidst His people. David made preparation for God’s temple to be a house of praise, and his son Solomon executed that task of building a glorious temple for the God who filled heaven and earth.

With the coming of Christ, the Son and rightful heir had come to inherit the household. So the coming of the Christ child is not quaint. It is not a squishy message of how sweet and innocent babies are. It is not a cutesy story of human brotherhood. It is a flag planted on this world, claiming it all for the rightful King. The true king has returned, and winter meets its death.

FROM AFFLICTION TO CORONATION

So note the progression of this Psalm. David in affliction to great David’s greater Son’s coronation. A coronation which spills over, like a plate of Christmas cookies, with blessings. A kingdom, ruled by an eternal King. A horn which buds. A King Whose enemies are defeated.

This is why Advent is not a moment for dour pseudo-piety. These weeks leading up to Christmas morning are days of longing. Longing for a King. Yearning for the worship of Jehovah to fill the earth. Making a ruckus so that the whole world, which rightly belongs to Christ, might hear and heed and come into the household of God.

Our awaiting the Lord’s coming is marked by hope. And true, evangelical hope is certitude. It isn’t a nickel in the fountain, not a make-a-wish, not a wing and prayer. Our longing for deliverance is to be marked by joyful worship.The reason we rejoice is that God has sworn to David, and in Christ that promise of God’s kingdom come to earth commenced its fulfillment. Now, after living and dying and rising, Christ is seated on the Father’s right hand; and, as Gabriel promised Mary: of His kingdom there shall be no end. The King has come to set things right. After all, He wears both priestly garments and royal robes. Your sins are forgiven, your enemies defeated.

But Christ too, like a true son of David, came first in affliction and humility. Like David, who was zealous for true worship of Jehovah, Christ was zealous for the house of God and by Him we now offer acceptable worship to the Living God. But Christ’s earthly humiliation, which began at Bethlehem, is now exaltation. The horn of David blossoms in the house of God (Cf. Lk. 1:68-69).

The Sure Incarnation

Christ Church on November 29, 2020

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INTRODUCTION

This Psalm has three layers to it. The first is the one on the surface. David recounts a deliverance from one of his many trials, and his response of praise. The second layer is that David’s sufferings reflect the common plight of Israel as whole. Her history of exiles and returns, persecutions and deliverances, separation from and the reunion with Jehovah lie just beneath the surface of David’s story. But as we go deeper we see that David’s story, which is Israel’s story, is really the Messiah’s story.

THE TEXT

I waited patiently for the LORD; and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. And he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto our God: many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the LORD… (Psalm 40).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

In the midst of his distress, David waited for the Lord, crying out to Him; God heard his plea and brought him out of the pit (vv1-2). This deliverance springs forth into songs of thanksgiving, and fortifies his faith in God, rather than trust in man (vv3-4). This song of praise rehearses God’s marvelous works, which are innumerable (v5); and this gratitude for past mercies is the bedrock for present faith, which understands the true nature of sacrifice and offerings: obedience. The call to obedient service is pictured by the bond-servant’s ear being pierced (v6, Cf. Ex. 21:6).

Now, though he is king of Israel, David comes to the command of the Lord as a bond-servant would obey the master’s will with joyful delight (v7; Cf. Deut. 17:18-19). As king, he is steward of God’s law, and will preach righteousness in the congregation, without skipping a part (vv9-10).

Having presented himself in grateful service to the Lord, and obeyed the Lord’s command, he asks of the Lord a two-fold request: withhold not tender-mercy and let God’s lovingkindness and truth continually preserve him (v11). The reason for this request is “innumerable evils” (echoing God’s innumerable marvelous works in verse 5) surround him, and his iniquities abound to the point of despair (v12). Thus, he makes a plea for deliverance from all evils inward and outward (v13).

The prayer goes on to request the undoing of his enemies; that shame and desolation would come upon them (v14-15). While those who seek God as their salvation shall be vindicated, and thus their love breaks forth in song: “The Lord be magnified (v16).” The concluding verse highlights David’s humility, and his boasting in the truth that God thinks about him; the end of the psalm echos its beginning: waiting patiently for the Lord (v1) while petitioning God to not tarry (v17).

OBEDIENCE IS TRUE SACRIFICE

This psalm draws a contrast between David’s response to God’s law with Saul’s famous very pious disobedience. In 1 Samuel 15:22-23, we’re told of how Saul’s kingdom came to be doomed; this is how it came to be that David was anointed as king of Israel (1 Sam. 16:13).

The nub is that obedience to God’s Word was more important than vainglorious exhibitions of spirituality. Saul made sacrifices to seem very spiritual; but he disobeyed the primary task he’d been assigned. The Psalm reiterates this, that sacrifices aren’t what please the Lord in the first instance. Obedience, from the heart, is His delight. So as king, David knows that deliverance is of the Lord for those who delight in His law and obey it by glad trust in God’s will.

MESSIAH IN OUR MIDST

In Hebrews 10, we find a large portion of this Psalm (vv6-8), cited. We don’t typically think of Hebrews as being a book for Christmas messages, but the underlying doctrine of Christmas is God sending the Messiah in the flesh. This is the point made in Hebrews. Christ coming in a human body was a set aside the sacrificial system, because His body was offered that we might be sanctified once for all (Heb. 10:10).

David anticipates that when Messiah came, He would do so in a human body. At first blush, however, Psalm 40 and its citation in Hebrews 10 seem at odds with each other. The hebrew refers to having His ear pierced (or dug open) as a bond-servant (Ps. 40:6); but Hebrews (10:5) cites the LXX, which renders it, “a body hast thou prepared for me.” What are we to make of this? As with most of these seeming contradictions, we don’t need to make them enemies, because they are friends. As a servant, Christ obeyed by taking to Himself a body. Further, He came when told, obeyed by becoming the fulfillment of the entire sacrificial system.

NOT A DISEMBODIED INCARNATION

The doctrine of the incarnation is not an insignificant one. Man, left to his own imagination, tries to grab hold of all the stuff, or tries to escape stuff. At Christmastime, we celebrate the Incarnate Lord. God made flesh. The Logos manifest unto us. Heaven come to earth.

Earth is to be redeemed. Creation is to be saved, not discarded. Our bodies are planted like seeds, only to spring forth at the resurrection into everlasting glory. The pagans sought to escape from the material world through their vain imaginations. Still others sought to hold onto the world.

One is too thick. The other too thin. What we teach is that Christ came, in the flesh, to redeem creation, and thus ultimately to resurrect the whole thing into greater glory.

The practical application of this is do not shy away from all the gifts…and fudge…and wrapping every imaginable food in bacon…and more fudge. Recognize that all these gifts and blessings are shadows of the blessings which they will become in the resurrection.

FEET ON A ROCK

Christ, our Messiah, came to set your feet on a rock. He came, as the bond-servant king so that you might no longer be facedown in the mud of your sin, but stand erect and bold, fearless before the face of man and face to face––without any shame––with God Himself.

This cannot happen without God coming in the flesh, proclaiming in the midst of the congregation the righteousness of God. He came into our midst, as was foretold. And this is the ground of our salvation. This is the only place to find firm footing for faith. The Son of God became a son of man so that He could die in place of sinful man, and that you might also be risen with Him to a glorified earth. An earth which will be “more real” than this one. So celebrate with the stuff––here in the shadowlands––knowing that in Christ it shall all be made more itself at the resurrection.