Christ Church

The Covenant Home #6: Common Sins of the Household

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INTRODUCTION:

In a message on “common sins” in the household, it would be easy to focus on those common sins which everyone knows and acknowledges to be sins—complaining, fighting, etc. But the point this morning is to take a step or two back, and address some of the problems which set up the temptations for the garden-variety sins. Sins that we know to be sins are not as dangerous as sins that we believe to be virtues.

THE TEXT:

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet Before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord: And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, And the heart of the children to their fathers, Lest I come and smite the earth with a curse” (Mal. 4:5–6).

THE CONCERN:

The New Testament teaches us that this prophecy was fulfilled in Christ. John the Baptist came before the Lord came, and the point of his ministry (remember, a ministry of preparation) was to turn the hearts of fathers and children toward one another. Note also the alternative, which is a curse upon the earth. When fathers and mothers are honored, when things are spiritually healthy in the home, the result is blessing in the land. When fathers are harsh with their children, or when mothers are, the results are devastating. When the family breaks down, everything breaks down.

But simply having “traditional family values” in theory does not prevent such breakdowns. In recent years, some of the great moral failures have come from the traditionalist camp. The population of our church is such that thoughtful and biblical consideration of these sorts of temptations is an urgent necessity. How we educate and rear our children is a matter of central concern to us—we are dealing with hundreds of souls. This means that some plain dealing is pastorally necessary, whatever the issue— e.g. whether we are talking about homeschooling or about day schools like Logos, we have to think biblically.

COMMON ROOTS OF PARENTAL SINS:

We often deal with sins only when they bear fruit at the branch’s extremities. A lot of spiritual energy could be spared if we were willing to consider some of the root problems. Spiritual Neglect—those who do not know the condition of their own souls are in no position to shepherd the souls of others. “Now the ones that fell among thorns are those who, when they have heard, go out and are choked with cares, riches, and pleasures of life, and bring no fruit to maturity” (Luke 8:14). Parents, take care that you do not neglect the state of your own soul. How is it with you and God? Busyness is not holiness.

Defensive Isolationism—“Wives, submit . . . Husbands, love . . . Children, obey . . . Fathers, do not provoke…” (Col. 3:18-21). The point here is not the content of Paul’s exhortations, but rather to note that they are given in the context of the church. We live in community; we are not a club of isolated individuals. This means that we are involved in one another’s lives, which in turn means that we are involved with one another’s children. We all takes vows at the baptisms here, which means something important. It is not a ceremonial ritual.

Many parents falsely assume that they know their children better than anyone else in the church. It would be more accurate to say that parents could know their children better if they studied the Word, and their children, with biblical wisdom. If they did, then they would know that “faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Prov. 27:6 ). And the way it shakes out is that most parents know their children better in many areas, and complete strangers know them better in others.

Ignorant Isolationism—Just as sin seeks out the darkness (John 3:19), so sin, on the same principle, seeks lack of accountability. But Paul is blunt in his application of this principle. “For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves. But they, measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise” (2 Cor. 10:12). This is sadly a common problem among those who homeschool. Consequently, when problems arise, they are not often identified until it is too late to do anything about it.

Presumption—far from neglecting community, this is a sin which relies entirely on “community.” “All we have to do,” it is thought, “is enroll our children in Logos, attend church, make sure that we hang around enough, and everything will turn out all right.” No, it won’t. When parents do not exercise a godly and wise oversight of their children, bad things regularly and routinely happen, regardless of the community in which the children live, and regardless of the school they attend. The best school in the world is no substitute for godly parents.

Chasing after fads—“that we should no longer be children, tossed to and fro and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the trickery of men, in the cunning craftiness of deceitful plotting, but, speaking the truth in love, may grow up in all things into Him who is the head—Christ” (Eph. 4:14-15). These fads we may divide into two categories— those which fit this description from Ephesians exactly, and are necessarily destructive in their effects. All anti-biblical legalisms would fit into this category.

But we must also include those things which could be fruitful and constructive if approached with wisdom—courtship, homeschooling, and the rest of it. But stampedes never bring wisdom. Bad things implemented stupidly do a lot of damage. Good things implemented stupidly do even more damage. Reformation is never brought about by plugging some formula. This includes educational formulae. It includes childrearing

formulae.

When you imitate the wise, you grow from the inside. When you copy the wise, nothing much happens. You wind up copying the wrong things entirely. Instead of imitating a godly father’s patience, you wind up copying what kind of minivan he bought.

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State of the Church 2015

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Introduction

One of the things that characterizes the writings of the apostle Paul is his regular practice of giving thanks to God for the saints of various churches he was writing to. Not only does he thank God for them, but he insists on telling them that he thanks God for them.

The Text

“Cease not to give thanks for you, making mention of you in my prayers;” (Eph. 1:16). “We give thanks to God and the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, praying always for you” (Col. 1:3). Also see 1 Thess. 1:2, 3:9, and 2 Thess. 2:13.

Summary of the Text

God gives us gifts in one another, and through one another. We are the body of Christ to one another. The recognition that God is behind all of it is central. When Paul gives thanks, he gives thanks to God. All the good works that we do for one another are repurposed gifts, redirected gifts. God first gives, and then as a consequence of this, we are able to give. But we can only give biblically if we ourselves are a gift. When we give, we are imitating God who always gives Himself in the gift. So this is why we render a two-fold thanks. When we say thank you, we say thank you first to God, and secondly to the instrument in God’s hand. We do good works because we are God’s workmanship (Eph. 2:10)—we render gratitude and glory to Him, but this in no way takes away from the gratitude we render to our fellow servants. Rather, it recognizes the true source of all good gifts. No true Christian wants to be an autonomous gift; we should all want to be the gift of one to another.

Gratitude by Name

The apostle is also not shy about naming names. There are many places where we know only two things about someone—his or her name, and the fact that the apostle Paul was grateful for him or her. From Epaphroditus to Junias, we know that Paul was grateful to individuals by name. We also know that his gratitude did not always result in giving us that name. “And I intreat thee also, true yokefellow, help those women which laboured with me in the gospel, with Clement also, and with other my fellowlabourers, whose names are in the book of life” (Phil. 4:3).

Giving Thanks for You

And so, in what ways has this congregation been a cause for gratitude?

This congregation has been a “family-integrated church” for many years, and you were doing it before it was “a thing.” Our service is an hour and a half long, and we all worship together—from the seniors down to the littles. So we are grateful

to God for you, and for all the hard work that goes into keeping some sort of moral order in your row. Don’t be discouraged—we are coming up to the time of harvest. A child born when we first went to weekly communion is around fourteen now. Another fourteen years and he will have a four-year-old on his lap, explaining the wine and the bread to him.

Community is as community does. You are an extraordinary congregation of helping hands—whether we are talking about unloading moving vans, or preparing meals for families in need, or giving to those who are less fortunate. When help has been needed, the wordoutpouring would be a good way to describe what frequently happens.

We want to believe what the Bible teaches us to believe, and we want to behave the way the Bible says to behave. In the providence of God, this means that we often find ourselves off the beaten path. You have been taught some “odd” things, and I am grateful that you have been such good sports about it. God is God, and grace is grace. Everything else follows, and the earth will be as full of the knowledge of the Lord as the waters cover the sea.

You are musically adventurous. We are very grateful to God for the music He has given us to sing, but for you old-timers, we have occasion to be even more grateful to God for the music we used to sing. We have a lot to do, and a long way to go, but we are very grateful for what we get to sing on the way.

You are committed, in a way that few North American congregations are, to providing our covenant children with a thoroughly Christian education. Learning to think like a Christian is not something that can be managed with one message on Sundays only. Our task is to learn how to love the Lord our God with all our heart, all our soul, all our mind, and all our strength. This is our task every hour of every day.

Hard to Satisfy

God is a perfect Father. The humblest effort to please Him does in fact please Him. He is very easy to please. At the same time, He is perfect, and therefore very hard to satisfy. Easy to please, hard to satisfy. He will not be satisfied until the work of His Spirit in us is final and complete. “Whom we preach, warning every man, and teaching every man in all wisdom; that we may present every man perfect in Christ Jesus: Whereunto I also labour, striving according to his working, which worketh in me mightily” (Col. 1:28–29).

We sometimes make the mistake of thinking that any expression of gratitude will make the one we are praising think that they have nothing else to do, that they have arrived. Since we don’t want that to happen, we withhold our gratitude because we don’t want anything going to anybody’s head. On the other hand, going the other way is thought of as discouraging. What we need is to know that we are already accepted in Christ, completely and finally. We are accepted in the Beloved, which means that there is no condemnation. We are set free to grow, without a gun to our heads. Grace is the only soil in which a true Christian can grow.

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Worship of the Saints: Why We Worship the Way We Do

Joe Harby on

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Introduction

The apostle Paul wanted to sing in the Spirit, but wanted to sing with the mind also (1 Cor. 14:15). In a similar way, we come here week after week to worship God in the Spirit of God. But it is important for us to understand what we are doing, and why we are doing it. Otherwise we will drift into a mindless routine—which is quite different from a Spirit- led routine.

The Text

And this I say, lest any man should beguile you with enticing words. For though I be absent in the flesh, yet am I with you in the spirit, joying and beholding your order, and the stedfastness of your faith in Christ. As ye have therefore received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk ye in him: Rooted and built up in him, and stablished in the faith, as ye have been taught, abounding therein with thanksgiving (Col. 2:4-7).

Overview of the Text

In verse 4, Paul warns against the seductive power of a certain kind of religious approach, the kind that always fails to approach Christ. Even though Paul was not present with the Colossians (v. 5), he was with them in spirit. He rejoiced as he beheld their order (taxis), and the rock solid nature of their faith in Jesus Christ. The word taxis is a military term, and should be understood as a kind of regimentation. But note that this order was both disciplined and alive. It was not the order of a row of gravestones, but rather the order of a military troop, arms at the ready. It was more than such order that pleased Paul, but it was certainly not less. Paul then urged the Colossians to walk in Christ Jesus in just the same way they had received Him (v. 6), which was of course by grace through faith. As they did so, they would be rooted and built up in the Christian faith, in just the way they had been taught. The overflow of this, when it is happening, is abundance of gratitude. As with all things of this nature, we measure whether or not it is happening by the fruit. That said, why do we do what we do?

The Structure of Our Worship

Consider first the broad outline of our worship service. We find five basic elements there:

Call to Worship—we invoke the name of God, and enter His gates with adoration and worship

Confession of Sin—we wipe our feet at the door

Consecration—we offer ourselves up to God as living sacrifices

Communion—we sit down for table fellowship with our God

Commissioning—we are sent out into the world.

The first and last elements “bookend” the service. The first invites us in from the world to assemble before the Lord to worship Him. The last sends us out into the world in order to function as ambassadors of Christ and of His gospel. The center three elements follow a basic biblical pattern of sacrifice. In the worship of the Older Covenant, God commonly required three kinds of sacrifices together. When they were offered together, they came in this order. First was the guilt offering (confession of sin: Lev. 17), then the ascension or burnt offering (consecration: Lev. 16:24-25), and then the peace offering (communion: Dt. 12:17-19). We see this overall pattern in Lev. 9 and 2 Chron. 29:20-36. Our name for worship that deliberately follows this basic pattern is called covenant renewal worship.

Filling It In

We find in various places of Scripture that certain particular practices are called for in New Covenant worship. One of the things we do therefore is look at the nature of that practice and decide where it would best fit within this structure. For example, the Bible requires the public reading of Scripture in worship (1 Tim. 4:13). So where do we put it? It seems to fit best under Consecration. The Bible commands us to sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs (Eph. 5:19). Where do we place the different kinds of songs? We are commanded to have preaching (1 Tim. 4:2). Where does it go? In doing this, we are seeking to be obedient while arranging our worship intelligently.

Posture and Demeanor

A very common temptation among the Reformed is to over-engineer the intellectual aspects of our faith. Reason and systematics have their place, but not every place. Reformed people need to be reminded that they have bodies, and that these too are involved in worship. This is why we lift up holy hands in the Gloria Patri (1 Tim. 2:8), and why we will kneel in confession as soon as it becomes logistically possible (Ps. 95:6). We stand in order to show deep respect for God’s Word (Neh. 8:5). Our overall demeanor is to be solemnity mixed with gladness. “I was glad when they said unto me, let us go into the house of the Lord” (Ps. 122:1).

Conversation Between God and His People

Worship is a time of meeting. During this time, God speaks to the people through His ordained representatives (as in the Scripture reading, assurance of pardon, or the sermon.) During this time, the people also speak to God, either through their appointed representatives (as in the prayers of petition), or all together with one voice (as with a hymn or psalm, or the creed). We should therefore learn how to think of the worship service as a large conversation, with a direction and theme, and not as a disparate collection of random spiritual artifacts, crammed into a shoebox. In the Call to Worship: God says, “Come, meet with Me.” We say, “First, let us praise Your majesty.” Having done so, God warns us through the Exhortation not to approach Him with unclean hearts. We respond by Confession. God responds by declaring that we have Assurance of Pardon. This is a conversation in which you all are called to actively participate. As you do, you are following the most important conversation in the world, which is between God and His people.

Worship is War

One other thing. And last, we return to the passage in Colossians. The order we are cultivating here is not the order of porcelain figurines in a china hutch, neatly arranged on a shelf. The order we are pursuing is alive and disciplined, the order of a well-trained military unit. And why? Because every Lord’s Day we go into battle. But as God’s people we fight on earth from the high ground of heaven.

We ascend into the heavenlies in our worship and meet with our God there (Heb. 12:22). But this heavenly worship is not something that has fearfully run away from the enemy on earth. Rather, as the book of Revelation shows in great detail, the worship of the saints in heaven accomplishes God’s judgments on earth. The twenty-four elders worship God in heaven (Rev. 4:10), and the seven seals are opened in heaven (Rev. 5:5). But this does not leave the earth untouched or unaffected.

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Mechanics of Fatherhood (Father Hunger 8)

Joe Harby on

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Introduction

In this series, we have been emphasizing the gospel of free forgiveness, and we have also noted that God is the kind of Father we want to become. This means that perfect love casts out fear—we are liberated by the blood of Christ to a life of imitation. Always remember that being precedes doing, and that what we are called to believe (really believe) is the foundation of what we are called to do. A Christian pulpit must always proclaim Jesus, but also always remember that Jesus has hands and feet. Not only that, but they are pierced hands and feet, sacrificial hands and feet. We are called to imitate Him. In that spirit then, as we come now to the conclusion . . .

The Texts

“And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:4).

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged” (Col. 3:21).

Summary of the Text

Putting these two texts together, we see two basic realities. The first is that fathers are called to not provoke their children to anger because that would result in the children being discouraged in their Christian walk. Christian fathers can have that effect. The second is that fathers are to provide a life of nurture and admonition, which consists of a full and robust Christian upbringing.

Twenty-One Words for Fathers

As we consider 21 principles for fathers to remember, you will see that we have touched on some of them already. But here they all are in one place. These are the mechanics of fatherhood . . .

  1. Love Jesus Christ, and express that love by worshiping His Father in the power of the Spirit, and do this as a gathered family on the Lord’s Day. Worship is a big deal. God honors those who honor Him (1 Sam. 2:30).
  2. Love your children by loving their mother. Love their mother by loving her children. This is the central way the gospel will be proclaimed in your home (Eph. 5:25).
  3. Teach them to love the standard, which is not the same thing as merely requiring them to conform to the standard (for a time). This is a function of heart loyalty (Prov. 23:26), and you teach them to love the standard (and to be loyal to you) by loving the standard yourself (and being loyal to them).
  4. Your garden of yes should have a tree of no in it, and not the other way around (Gen. 2:16). God is not a skinflint, and you should not paint Him as being one. In Christ, all the promises are yes and amen (2 Cor. 1:20). Resemble the God you serve.
  5. Give them the Torah, not the Talmud (Matt. 22:40). The law of God is simple to understand, and can be easily summarized. If your house rules are convoluted and Byzantine, then you have a problem. I well remember my father’s summary of what was expected of us—“no disobedience, no lying, and no disrespecting your mother.” See? Life is good.
  6. Acknowledge your children all need to be converted (Eph. 2:3), but do not do this with unequal weights and measures. If you apply impossible standards to your children, you are causing them to stumble. Beware of millstones as you bring them to Christ (Matt. 18:6).
  7. Listen to them. They are people. It is possible to converse with them (Prov. 18:13).
  8. Their food, shelter, and clothing take precedence over your toys (Ex. 21:10).
  9. Remember their frame (Ps. 103:14). Don’t skip naps, keep them up until 11:30, withhold a real dinner, and then paddle them for falling apart. Someone should paddle you for pulling them apart.
  10. Eat together and not just as refueling measure. This is how families become companions. The liberality that results in table fellowship is a big deal in Scripture (Prov. 11:25), so why withhold it from your family? If half your meals are eaten over the sink, then take stock of your situation.
  11. Respect your sons and love your daughters (Eph. 5: 33, 25). They are different, and those differences should be honored. This obviously does not mean you don’t have to love your sons or respect your daughters, but it does tell you which way to lean.
  12. Tell stories together. Listen to stories together. The gospel is a story (1 Cor. 15:3ff), and we come to know one another truly as we come to know the genre. By telling stories you come to realize that you are in one.
  13. Provide your children with a Christian education (Eph. 6:4). And it must be a true education, filled with life and laughter. The classroom is not a cauldron (Dt. 14:21).
  14. You should want a home full of Scripture, a home full of joy, a home full of music (Eph. 5:19; Col. 3:16). Godly child-rearing is Spirit-filled, and it cannot be Spirit-filled without becoming a musical.
  15. Give your children quantity time, and don’t try to sub in the guilt salve of so-called “quality time” (Dt. 6:4-9).
  16. Discipline should be a gift, not a grabbing. If you are retaliating against your children, then the whole thing isself-serving (Gal. 6:1).
  17. Discipline should be judicious, and not an occasion for you to jump to conclusions (Prov. 18:17). Sometimes kids can invite the injustice, and they bear the weight of it if they do, but fathers should fight to maintain justice in the home. Playing favorites with your children, incidentally, invites such injustice.
  18. The pain of discipline should be acute, not chronic. The Bible says that discipline should be painful (Heb. 12:11), but not the pain of a dull ache week after week. Heartache is not discipline.
  19. The point of discipline is restored fellowship (Heb. 12:11), not retribution. There is a difference between discipline and punishment. Discipline is correction, and can cease when correction is accomplished. You don’t make all your children spend the same amount of time in the tub for the sake of “equality.”
  20. Divided discipline is dangerous. Father and mother are in this together. Scripture requires them to be honored together (Ex. 20:12), and so they should work together. Don’t allow your children to apply the tactic of “divide and conquer.”
  21. Prepare them for independence (Gen. 2:24). Do not make the mistake of indulging sin when it is little and cute, and then trying to crack down on it later, when things start to look more serious.

And again, remember that Jesus is always the point.

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