Introduction
We are a nation of bastards. A bastard is an illegitimate son, a son born out of wedlock, a son without a covenant father, and thereby at some level, abandoned and rejected by his father. This has been enacted by mass fornication, adultery, divorce, and in its most violent form, abortion. Even in the church where there is often far more cohesion, there is still sometimes great tension and distance in our families, where there ought to be delight.
This fatherlessness and generational static have their root cause in our alienation from our Heavenly Father. You cannot reject God the Father Almighty and end up in any kind of happy place. If there is tension between fathers and children, it is because we are not in full fellowship with the Father. Every good and perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of Lights, in whom there is no variation or shadow of turning (Js. 1:17), including the gift of delighting in your family.
The Text: “And Jesus, when He was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and lo, the heavens were opened unto Him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon Him: and lo a voice from heaven, saying, this is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (Mt. 3:16-17).
Summary of the Text
The Father shows up directly in the gospels just a couple of times, and both times He says almost the same thing. The first is at Christ’s baptism: “this is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (Mt. 3:17, Mk. 1:11, Lk. 3:22). The second is the transfiguration: “This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (Mt. 17:5). What we learn in the gospel directly from God the Father is that He is well pleased with His beloved Son.
Restored to the Father
Eph. 3:14-15 says, “For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, of whom every family in heaven and earth is named.” This means that families exist because God is Triune: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. All human fatherhood gets its meaning and purpose from God the Father. And when the Father shows up, the central thing He wants the whole world to know is that He is well pleased with His beloved Son.
Many men did not have fathers or else their fathers were absent or harsh, and this is why God sent His only Son into the world: “And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to the fathers, lest I come and strike the earth with a curse” (Mal. 4:6, cf. Lk. 1:17). Generational dysfunction and animosity are burdens, and when sin is not dealt with, it is a great curse. But Christ came to bear the curse of sin and heal the generations. He does this by taking away our guilt and shame, but He restores families fundamentally by restoring us to God the Father. “For He [Christ] is our peace… For through Him [Christ] we both have access by one Spirit unto the Father” (Eph. 2:18). That Spirit is the same Spirit that came upon Jesus in His baptism, the same Spirit that caused the Father to proclaim, “this is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased” (Gal. 4:6).
Delighting in Your People
Our delight in our people is grounded in the delight of God in His people in His Son. “The LORD thy God in the midst of thee is mighty; he will save, he will rejoice over thee with joy; he will rest in his love, he will joy over thee with singing” (Zeph. 3:17). This is not God rejoicing over a perfect people; this is God rejoicing over a people He is saving. This is not a blind love; it is faithful love. It is a delight in what is and what will be.
This is the bedrock of Christian family life: we are The Delighted-In and so we are Delight-Full. Our Father is well-pleased with us. He rejoices over us with singing. It is His holy, infinite delight in us that is to spill over into our homes. This infinite joy is plenty for every Christian, but he who finds a wife finds a good thing and has obtained favor from the Lord (Prov. 18:22). Children are the inheritance of the Lord; they are His great blessing and reward (Ps. 127:3-5, Ps. 128). Christ is the pool into which the pleasures of God pour infinitely (Ps. 16:11), and if you are in Christ, that pleasure pours out of you.
Delighting in Creation
This delight is not only directly in your people. God has also created a universe that expresses His delight, and it was created for the enjoyment of God and His people. Delight is a gift, but shared delight multiplies the gift and binds us together. This was part of God’s point in His reply to Job’s great complaints: God points Job to His favorite parts of the universe and invites Job to join Him in ruling the weather patterns, riding constellations, caring for ravens and goats and unicorns, and playing with dragons (Job 38ff).
Our Father delights in His work and creation, and therefore, this delight in work and creation should mark Christian families: work, hobbies, sports, games, camping, fishing…
Applications
The center of this delight is a bloody cross where all our sin was nailed and crushed. This is not a humanistic optimism or a stiff upper lip. This is gospel grace. Sin paid for. Debts forgiven. Adopted by the Father. As you have been forgiven, so forgive. Confess, forgive, walk in the light. No backlogs. No bitterness. No hidden sin.
This is also central to discipline and correction. Christian discipline restores joy, which means it must be your baseline. Is your discipline and correction doing that? Parents, your job is to make sure that it actually yields peace and joy (Heb. 12:11).
A Christian family should be marked by playful delight: joyful work, chores, wrestling, tickling, jokes, laughter, singing, dancing, adventures, and games. And in the midst of it all, many, many words of praise, delight, gratitude, and love. Why? Because this is the way of your Father.