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Fear the Lord & Love Your Kids

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INTRODUCTION

God has made the world such that wisdom and understanding (and therefore power and influence) are to increase over the course of generations under His blessing. But when cultures rebel, God gives them over to a kind of drunken stupor, and this is where dark ages come from.

God’s blessing is on those who fear Him, and the center of all human rebellion is a refusal to fear the Lord. But we must be mindful of the fact that there is always a temptation among religious types to try to manufacture the fear of the Lord, which only prolongs the judgment. So our central task in parenting is to fear the Lord, and raise our children in the fear of the Lord so that God’s blessing may be upon them, and upon our children’s children.

THE TEXT

“Wherefore the Lord said, forasmuch as this people draw near me with their mouth, and with their lips do honor me, but have removed their heart far from me, and their fear toward me is taught by the precept of men…” (Is. 29:13-29)

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Just before our text, we are told that God’s people are drunk with a spirit of illiteracy (29:9-12). This is because God’s people are drawing near to Him with words but not in their hearts, and the only kind of fear they have of the Lord is the kind that is taught by the precepts of men (29:13). Therefore, God has determined to do this marvelous work of striking them drunk, such that even their wisest men will be incompetent (29:14). And even though they squirm and pontificate, all of it will be used by God the Potter to turn everything upside down (Is. 29:15-17). He will cause the deaf to hear and the blind to see; He will lift up the humble and poor and put down the scorners and plotters (29:18-21). God’s people will not be ashamed, and when they see how God saves their own children, they will fear God rightly and fools will learn understanding (29:22-24).

COVENANT SUCCESSION & THE FEAR OF THE LORD

The particular thing this text zeros in on is a contrast between a faux fear of the Lord, the kind that is manufactured by men, and the real fear of the Lord, the kind that only the Lord can give (compare 29:13 and 29:23). This authentic fear of the Lord is taught through the earth-shaking, sovereign works of the Lord (23:14-21), but it is manifest particularly in the marvelous gift of believing children (29:23).

This sets up the goal of the increasing momentum of covenant succession: your job is to fear the Lord so that you might teach your children (Dt. 4:10, 5:29, 6:2), and this text says that the gift of believing children increases a right fear of the Lord (Is. 29:23). The goal is for this to snowball, to pick up steam, to turn into an avalanche of God’s blessing. This is not something that we can manufacture, and that is why the central thing is the fear of the Lord.

What is the fear of the Lord? Abraham did not withhold his only son from the Lord because he feared the Lord (Gen. 22:12). The midwives feared the Lord and disobeyed the king of Egypt and saved the Hebrew baby boys alive (Ex. 1:17). The fear of the Lord sings praises and glorifies God (Ps. 22:23). The fear of the Lord is to hate evil, pride, arrogance, and a perverse mouth (Prov. 8:13). The fear of the Lord is conscientious, joyful, believing obedience to God no matter what (Dt. 31:12).

SOME SCATTERSHOT PRINCIPLES

There are a number of temptations that face a community like ours where God has been in the process of blessing our families over generations. One of them is to take that blessing for granted, another is for new believers or new folks joining us to latch on to certain external forms without understanding or embracing the substance. Both of these temptations are variations on thinking that the fear of the Lord can be taught by the precept of men (Is. 29:13). But none of us should want that kind of cheap knock off. So, what we want to do is fear the Lord honestly and apply these principles, without getting wound tight about the exact method. “The fear of man is a snare, but whoso putteth his trust in the Lord will be safe” (Prov. 29:25).

  1. Christian parenting is like the rest of your Christian life: it proceeds from faith in the promises of God. So what are those promises? “And they shall be my people, and I will be their God: And I will give them one heart, and one way, that they may fear me forever, for the good of them, and of their children after them: And I will make an everlasting covenant with them, that I will not turn away from them, to do them good; but I will put my fear in their hearts, that they shall not depart from me” (Jer. 32:38-40, cf. Is. 59:21, Ez. 37:24-26). And faith in the promises means being calm and confident and no panicking.
  2. This faith in the promises goes together with the joy of the Lord: “Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him. For He knows our frame; he remembereth that we are dust… But the mercy of the Lord is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear Him, and His righteousness unto children’s children” (Ps. 103: 13-14, 17). This mercy is not begrudging: God rejoices over His people (Is. 62:5, Zeph. 3:17). Our joy is fundamentally in God’s covenant mercy. Christian parenting is sharing this kindness and joy with our children.
  3. The central command that God gives children is to obey their parents, and the central command that God gives parents is to teach their children to obey them (Dt. 6, Eph. 6). Obedience is right away, all the way, and cheerfully. This is the task of discipleship, and discipleship consists of both positive and negative discipline. Think of obedience like a skill, and parenting like coaching. Good coaches teach and practice a lot, before the game. Practice obedience regularly. Negative discipline must be used when a child refuses to obey. The rod of correction is love (Prov. 13:24, Heb. 12:6). And some children need lots of love. Remember also that we become like our friends (Prov. 13:20). Seek out godly covenant community.

CONCLUSION: THE WORK OF HIS HANDS

“Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain that build it… Children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the womb is His reward (Ps. 127:1). Believing children are a gift from the Lord, the work of His hands (Is. 29:23). And it is a gift that God loves to give. So ask Him for it.

“Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thy house: thy children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord” (Ps. 128:3-4). Fear the Lord, believe His promises, rejoice in His goodness, and love your kids and grandkids.

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Inescapable Fear

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INTRODUCTION

This message on Inescapable Fear could just as easily been entitled as Freedom from Fear. And, without any contradiction, it could also be entitled The Christian Grace of Fear. But all this will take some unpacking.

THE TEXT

 “And I say unto you my friends, be not afraid of them that kill the body, and after that have no more that they can do. But I will forewarn you whom ye shall fear: Fear him, which after he hath killed hath power to cast into hell; yea, I say unto you, Fear him. Are not five sparrows sold for two farthings, and not one of them is forgotten before God? But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows” (Luke 12: 4-7; cf. Matt. 10:28-31).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Notice how Jesus addresses His disciples here—He calls them His friends (v. 4). His next words are instructions to them to not be afraid of those whose maximum power is that of physical death (v. 4). He then turns to the subject of the one that they should fear—the one who has complete, full, and final authority over hell. Christ emphasizes that they should fear Him—He says it three times in one verse. Fear Him (v. 5). God remembers even the sparrows, sold so cheaply in the market (v. 6). This means that the hairs of your head are all numbered (v. 7). Do not fear, therefore, because you are worth more than many sparrows (v. 7).

FEAR NOT, FEAR, FEAR NOT

Here is the pattern. We are not to fear men. All they can do is kill us. We are to fear God—He is the one who can throw people into hell. But God loves us and cherishes us, and He cares deeply for us. We should therefore not fear the providences of God concerning us. Still less should we fear the pains of hell. “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment.  He that feareth is not made perfect in love” (1 John 4: 18). We do not fear hell; we defy it. We do not fear hell because we fear the one who can put us there. Because we fear Him, we know that He does not want to do this to us—we are worth more than many sparrows. When He sends His angels, they almost always say, “Fear not.”

Now this is why we have spoken about inescapable fear. If we fear man, we do not fear God. If we fear God, we will not fear man. But we will fear someone. The question, therefore, is not whether we will fear, but rather whom we will fear. This is just another form of “not whether, but which.” 

HEALTHY FEAR

 One of the central reasons why modern Christians are so timid is because we have not cultivated a healthy fear of God. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge (Prov. 1:7). This is foundational. And notice how fear of God is described in the New Testament as a glorious and wonderful thing. Forgive me as I belabor the point.

  1. “And they departed quickly from the sepulchre with fear and great joy; and did run to bring his disciples word” (Matt 28:8).
  2. “And his mercy is on them that fear him from generation to generation” (Luke 1:50).
  3. “And they were all amazed, and they glorified God, and were filled with fear, saying, We have seen strange things to day” (Luke 5:26; 7:16).
  4. “Then had the churches rest throughout all Judaea and Galilee and Samaria, and were edified; and walking in the fear of the Lord, and in the comfort of the Holy Ghost, were multiplied” (Acts 9:31).
  5. “Having therefore these promises, dearly beloved, let us cleanse ourselves from all filthiness of the flesh and spirit, perfecting holiness in the fear of God” (2 Cor. 7:1).
  6. “Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure” (Phil. 2:12-13).
  7. “Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God” (Eph 5:21).
  8. “Wherefore we receiving a kingdom which cannot be moved, let us have grace, whereby we may serve God acceptably with reverence and godly fear: For our God is a consuming fire” (Heb. 12:28-29).

There are many other passages like this—this is a point that could be multiplied many times over.

BRING THIS TOGETHER

 In our fear of God, we begin to know; fear and great joy mingle in knowledge of the resurrection; fear receives mercy; fear renders awe and glory; walking in fear means walking in comfort; fear advances personal holiness; fear works out salvation; fear enables us in cultivating the spirit of mutual submission and humility; fear animates appropriate worship. Fear of God is therefore a Christian’s glory.

PROFOUND AND ALL-PERVASIVE FEAR

Because of this profound and all-pervasive fear, we do not fear anything. “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind” (2 Tim 1:7). “For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption” (Rom. 8:15). “And deliver them who through fear of death were all their lifetime subject to bondage” (Heb. 2:15).

TO PRESS THE POINT 

This means that if you are troubled with anxieties and fears, then you need to name the problem accurately. The problem is that you do not fear as you ought, and the vacuum has been filled by phantoms. Now I am not talking about normal physiological reactions—shaking when you just escaped from a car wreck, or you have a close call with a grizzly bear.

I am talking about the ongoing fears that cripple your Christian life and your relationships with others. What do I mean? I am referring to fear of slippery roads, loss of reputation, the cancer you might get twenty years out, dying young, marital unhappiness in the future, or any other kind of “what about? or “what if?” followed by some unpleasantness that you cooked up. The fear of God liberates. The fear of the creature paralyzes—because to guard effectively against whatever it is, you have to be omnipotent. And you are not.

WE MAY BOLDLY SAY…

The fear of God is the foundation of all true contentment. All things work together for good to those who love God and are the called according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28). And when we are content, free from grasping and covetousness, what may we then say? God will never ditch us. We are His people.

“Let your conversation be without covetousness; and be content with such things as ye have: for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee. So that we may boldly say, The Lord is my helper, and I will not fear what man shall do unto me” (Heb. 13:5-6).

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Reforming the Family

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INTRODUCTION

We understand that there is no such thing as a healthy Christian community without a large number of healthy Christian families. Just as you cannot have a good omelet without good eggs, so also it is impossible to have a cheerful town, or church, or community, when all the households are just little oases of misery.

THE TEXT

“Trust in the Lord, and do good; So shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed. Delight thyself also in the Lord; And he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; Trust also in him; and he shall bring it to pass. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: Fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. Cease from anger, and forsake wrath: Fret not thyself in any wise to do evil. For evildoers shall be cut off: But those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth” (Psalm 37:3–9).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

At the beginning of our passage, we are told (simply) to trust God and to do good (v. 3). The consequence of this is that you will dwell in the land and you will be nourished (v. 3). When you delight in the Lord, your desires are thereby calibrated (v. 4). Not only are they calibrated, but they are also granted. This is why Augustine could say something like “love God and do as you please.” The future is a big unknown, and God is the only one who holds it in the palm of His hand. That is why we must commit our plans to Him (v. 5), and He will bring it to pass. He is the one who will make your righteousness and your judgment shine like the midday sun (v. 6). Rest in the Lord, and rest in His timeline (v. 7). The wicked can seem like they are getting ahead because of how they cut corners, pursuing a “quick growth” prosperity. Don’t get worked up about it (v. 8). This is because God will cut off the evildoers, and those who wait upon the Lord will be the ones who inherit the earth (v. 9).

CONFESSION IN THE FAMILY

When we tolerate or nurture unconfessed sin in our lives, this makes it impossible for us to delight in the Lord. When we are disobedient, God’s hand is on us for chastisement (Heb. 12:11; Ps. 32:4), and God does know how to spank. But if we walk in the light as He is the light, we have fellowship with one another (1 John 1:7). And in order to clear the way so that we can walk in the light, it is necessary for us to confess the ways we have walked in accord with darkness (1 John 1:8-10).

This is an illustration I use in my premarital counseling, and because I am not tired of using it, I am going to bring it in here. Imagine two houses, side by side. Five kids in each one, husbands work at the same company, they attend the same church, the wives are good friends, and they drive the same kind of van. The only difference you can see between the two homes is that one is immaculate and the other one is blitzed. But this difference is not created by how many breakfast bowls are used, or how many t-shirts are put on in the morning, or how many shoes are put on in the morning. That is all the same. The difference lies in when things are cleaned, picked up, and put away. That is where the difference is.

Now far too many conservative Christian evangelical households are (spiritually speaking) something like the closets at the crazy cat lady’s house.

COVENANT IN THE FAMILY

We live in the midst of covenant realities, and covenants are larger than the sum of their parts. Covenant realities are realities, which is another way of saying that your family is a thing in the world. It is not simply a “living arrangement.”

We as Christians are members of the new covenant, of course, as the prophet Jeremiah predicted (Jer. 31: 33ff). The Church is a covenant reality. But we are a covenant reality all the way down. Marriages are what they are by covenant. The faithless wife in Proverbs was faithless because she forgot the covenant of her God (Prov. 2:17). The faithless husbands in Malachi were faithless because they had dealt treacherously with the wives of their covenant (Mal. 2:14).

What is needed in many households is an understood structure for your obedience. Your family’s last name is a thing, a covenantal thing, an entity. And because it is an institution created by God, He is the one who writes the by-laws. He is the one who assigns the various offices, and He is one who gives us our respective duties.

FRUITFUL HONOR

Do you want to dwell in the land? Do you want to inherit the earth (Ps. 37:11)? What is the first commandment with a promise then? “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth” (Eph. 6:1–3). This required honor takes two forms. The first is the obedience that children should render to their parents. The second is the financial support that grown children must render to their parents: “But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free. And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother; Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye” (Mark 7:11–13).

WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO CALL SOMETHING CHRISTIAN?

Christ is the Second Person of the Trinity, and is therefore omnipresent. He is everywhere present. But He is not present everywhere covenantally. And so what do we mean when we say something—like our household—is Christian? We should mean that Christ is present, and present covenantally.

“Repent ye therefore, and be converted, that your sins may be blotted out, when the times of refreshing shall come from the presence of the Lord” (Acts 3:19).

Is your home a Christian one? Have times of refreshing arrived there from the presence of the Lord?

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Sing Because He is There

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INTRODUCTION

Living as we do in insane times, we need to be reminded regularly of what we’re supposed to be doing. Otherwise, it is easy to get distracted by the next kamikaze clown car that pulls into town. We have said, and we will not get tired of saying, that our central duty is to worship the Lord, centrally here in corporate worship, but the point is for that gladness and thanksgiving to pour out into our homes and work. And it’s fitting that we take time periodically to make a point of that, as we do in our country for Thanksgiving. So this is a message about celebrating Thanksgiving in the presence of our enemies, Thanksgiving for insane times. Psalm 98 gives us glorious words to sing, to meditate on, to believe, and to live.

THE TEXT

“O sing unto the LORD a new song; for he hath done marvelous things: his right hand, and his holy arm, hath gotten him the victory…” (Ps. 98).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

This song calls out to everyone and everything to sing to the Lord a new song because God has done wonderful things right out in the open for everyone to see: the pagans and the house of Israel and all the ends of the earth have seen it (98:1-3). Not only should all the people sing, but all the earth should rejoice loudly, with strings and horns, because the Lord is King (98:4-6). Let the sea churn with loud praise and everyone on the sea and on the coastlands, and let the rivers clap their hands and the whole congregation of mountains should shout at the same time (98:7-8). All of this is “before the Lord” because He is there, and therefore He is judging the whole world in perfect justice (98:9).

A NEW SONG

While it is certainly fitting to write and compose new songs for praise, like Israel did on the banks of the Red Sea (Ex. 15) or when Mary did at the approaching birth of Jesus (Lk. 1), the fundamental point is that our gratitude and praise need to be new. Our hearts need to be new. This psalm is gloriously generic: “for wonders He has done.” Perhaps the psalmist is thinking of the Exodus or maybe other victories in battle or deliverances, or perhaps even creation itself. While this psalm does anticipate new acts of salvation, the emphasis is on new praise, new gratitude because God is there. A constant search for novelty often leads people away from Christ who is the same yesterday, today, and forever (Heb. 13:8). God’s mercies are new every morning not because God changes in the slightest but precisely because He doesn’t. New hearts sing new songs of thanksgiving because they see what’s right in front of them.

A PUBLIC SALVATION

As we have noted, this psalm doesn’t give any one particular historic moment for this call of praise, but do not miss the fact that this is a psalm of praise for past salvation in hope of ongoing and future salvation. “… his right hand, and his holy arm hath gotten him the victory. The Lord has made known his salvation…all ends of earth have seen the salvation of our God…” (Ps. 98:1-3). But then, having called everyone and everything to celebrate that, the final verse says, “Before the Lord; for he cometh to judge the earth: with righteousness shall he judge the world, and the people with equity” (98:9). This is a song of praise not for a moment where there are no dark clouds in the sky. This is a psalm of praise for when God’s people need justice and vindication. Why should we sing this new song of praise? Because God has acted in the past to judge and save (98:1-3) Because He is King (98:6), and He is there (98:9) and He comes to judge the world (98:9). This is not merely the justice of the end of the world (although it includes that). The kind of salvation this psalm is celebrating and anticipating is the kind He has done before, the kind that is “openly shown” and “all the ends of the earth have seen.”

THE RIVERS DO CLAP

While we know that all of creation groans in eager expectation, waiting for the redemption of mankind (Rom. 8:19-23), nevertheless, all of creation has always and will always still declare the glory of God (Ps. 19:1-2). While it will one day be completely free of the curse of sin, the sea roars right now in praise of the King. The rivers clap their hands together now because Jesus is King. The mountains do shout joyfully in allegiance to their Maker. In other words, we call on the whole creation to sing with us right now, but they are singing already and the Bible says that in general, it’s people who need to catch up. Creation is telling the glory of God every day, and it’s people who tend to miss it, ignore it, or willfully suppress it (cf. Rom. 1:18-20). Thus, the existence of the glory and majesty and beauty and order of creation proclaims to us and the whole world that God is King: He is present and at work judging the world now.

CONCLUSION

If Israel could sing this song having creation, the patriarchs, the exodus, the judges, and some of the kings and prophets, how much more do we have reason to sing? We have all of that, plus the rest of the Old Testament, and the fulfillment of all those promises in Jesus: His birth, life, miracles, His teaching, His courage and compassion, His love unto death, His public trial, beatings, mockings, and crucifixion, His resurrection from the dead, ascension into Heaven, and the pouring out of His Spirit. We have the ministries and testimonies of the apostles, the early church fathers, the martyrs, the evangelists and missionaries for over two thousand years: His forgiving, saving, delivering, comforting, blessing – the wonders He has done.

What do you do when the world has gone mad? What do you do when it is dark? You smile and you sing before the Lord. That means you know He’s there. He’s present. And if He is here, then He sees and He is judging until everything is right. The central way you know this is because He sent His only Son into the world: that was the greatest victory, the greatest salvation, His full righteousness in the sight of all the nations. He remembered His mercy and truth at that point in history as the most public display that He will never forget His mercy and truth to His people. He came in person so that we (and the whole world) might know that this is His world.

So sing. No really: you have to sing. I don’t care if you can’t carry tune in a bucket full of holes. Neither can the mountains. Make a joyful noise. Men, sing. Sing in your homes. Sing around your table. Practice. Learn. Keep trying.

God’s goodness towers over the current darkness. Do not be distracted. Keep your eyes fixed on the King. And make a point to celebrate His towering goodness this week. Let your tables be filled with good things and laughter and singing before the Lord. He is King, and He comes.

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Real Forgiveness

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INTRODUCTION

Everyone knows that the Christian faith revolves around the forgiveness of sins. But because there is a gospel logic involved in it that eludes every form of carnal reasoning, we have to be careful to understand what is actually involved. What is real forgiveness?

THE TEXT

“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you” (Eph. 4:31–32).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

There are two ways of conducting life together. One of them is the enemy of life together, and the other is the true friend of life together. One drives us apart and the other knits us together.

The first is the way is the way of keeping score, with the intention of winning. It is the way of bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, slander and malice (v. 31). This all sounds pretty bad, but we have to remember that all these plug-uglies travel under an alias. They call themselves righteousness, and have a deep commitment to being right. This approach makes koinonia community impossible.

The alternative is kindness and tenderheartedness. And the way that kindness and tenderheartedness “live out” is by forgiving one another, and doing so in exactly the same way that God has forgiven us for the sake of Jesus Christ (v. 32).

WHAT FORGIVENESS IS NOT

We often feel like we are asking God for His forgiveness when what we are really doing is asking Him to accept our excuses. And because we know that we are to forgive as we were forgiven, as per our text, we often seek to forgive others by agreeing beforehand to accept their excuses, when possible. But (unlike ourselves) they had better have a good one.

Our problem is that, when living together with other sinners, we frequently run smack into what can only be called inexcusable. And because it is inexcusable, our scheme with the excuses cannot work.

Forgiveness deals with sin. And sin, by its very nature, is inexcusable. But what is inexcusable is not (thank the Lord) unforgivable.

PARDON ME AND FORGIVE ME

If you accidentally back into someone during fellowship hour, and make them spill their coffee, you naturally say pardon me, or please excuse me. By this you mean to say that you did what you did to them in a way that was entirely unintentional. They respond accordingly—don’t mention it. No problem. The accident was an accident, and it was therefore excusable.

But suppose you looked across the fellowship hall, and there saw your enemy, as pleased with himself as a conceited Pharisee could be, and so you lowered your shoulder and ran straight into him, knocking him clean over. Under such circumstances, the only reason you would say “pardon me” would be if you had decided to taunt him after bowling him over. In this case, your behavior is inexcusable.

That doesn’t mean that nothing can be done about it. The inexcusable is not the same kind of thing as the unforgivable.

A MIXED BAG

But there is another category. What if we don’t have something that is purely wicked or purely accidental? Suppose it is a mixed bag.

Yes, you snapped at the kids, but it was at the end of two days of migraine headache. Yes, you said some things to your wife that were rude and thoughtless, but she was the one who started the argument, and would not let it go, not even after you had asked her to. You had asked her three times. Yes, you sent an email to your boss that you regret sending, but it was 2 in the morning, and the beer you had made you careless.

There are extenuating circumstances, in other words. But we should all remember two things about this. The first is that we will tend to stretch our legitimate excuse part to cover over our sin part. But the only thing that can actually cover sin is the blood of Jesus Christ. When apologizing, we lead with the excuse. “Bob, sorry about yesterday. I had a long day, and I didn’t really mean what I said.” And Bob often responds in kind (because he wants to play the same game when he needs to). “Oh, well, because you didn’t mean it, forget about it.” In other words, because the “you” who said those things was not the real you, he can let it go.

The second problem is that we want our excuses to be way stretchier than our neighbor’s excuses. But as C.S. Lewis pointed out one time, the chances are excellent that our neighbor’s excuses are way better than we tend to believe. And it is also true that our excuses are way lamer than we think they are. When we handicap the competition between us and our fellow Christians, we are not nearly as objective as we think we are. 

A VARIATION OF THE GOLDEN RULE

The basic Christian response is to forgive as we have been forgiven. In our text, the apostle Paul is simply repeating what the Lord taught us when He taught us to pray. Every time we pray the Lord’s Prayer, we ask Him to forgive us as we forgive others. The way many Christians live, the room actually ought to become much quieter when we get to that part.

“Lord, please doubt the sincerity of my repentance the way I doubt his. Lord, dismiss my excuses with a wave of your hand the way I dismiss his excuses. Lord, keep a hidden tally so that if I sin in this area again, You can bring everything up again, and throw it in my face, the way I do with him. Amen.”

The Golden Rule teaches us that we should do for others what we wish they would do for us. This is in the same spirit, but there is a higher level of danger in it. Here we are asking God to treat us the way we treat our brother. If I give my brother an orange, he might give me an apple. But if I give my brother a stone when he asked for bread, and then I ask God to treat me in the same way, I may find out the stone is one that will crush me. God can give me a much bigger stone than my brother ever could.

BY GRACE ALONE

But how is this consistent with salvation by grace alone? “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses” (Matt. 6:14–15). If you refuse to forgive your brother, you are not failing to earn your salvation. If you refuse to forgive your brother, you are revealing to the world that you have no understanding of what salvation by grace through faith actually is. Remember that Christ is all.

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