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Child Rearing and Checking Accounts (Biblical Child Discipline in an Age of Therapeutic Goo #7)


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INTRODUCTION

As with all checking accounts, it is important make deposits in the checking account of parental authority before attempting to write checks out of that account with an authoritative flourish in the signature. Like all checking accounts, there needs to be money in there. It is not reasonable to argue that you can’t be out of money because you still have some checks left.  

THE TEXT

“Train up a child in the way he should go: And when he is old, he will not depart from it” (Proverbs 22:6). 

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

There is debate over whether this verse is given to us as a general proverb, or as hard-and-fast promise to parents that if children are brought up right they will never stray, or if the verse is talking about finding the right vocation for your child, and not talking about spiritual condition at all. 

It is not my purpose to settle that question, at least when it comes to this passage. The truth I want us to take from this passage, whatever it is talking about, is the general truth that it is easier to bend the sapling than it is to bend the full-grown oak. And when you bend the sapling, the results of what you have done are lasting results. 

Whatever the course you set for the child, that course will remain with him. Child discipline matters, in other words. What you do with your growing family is not a random roll of the dice. 

STANDING ON THE PROMISES

Allowing for various interpretations of Proverbs 22:6 does not mean that we are backing away from what we have previously taught about how Christian parents are invited to trust the Lord for the salvation of their kids. This is just a quick reminder—and for those who want to do a deep dive, there is the book Standing on the Promises. The first thing is that none of this is by works. We believe the promises of grace by faith alone, and this of course results in parental works. It is not driven by parental works. Christian parents are to teach their children to honor their parents (Eph. 6), and this is a command with a promise attached to it. Christian elders are supposed to imitated by the saints (Heb. 13:7, 17), and it is possible (and required) for Christian leaders to manage their homes in such a way as that their children are not lost or reprobate (1 Tim. 3:4-5; Tit. 1:6).

“Know therefore that the Lord thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations” (Deuteronomy 7:9). 

THREE BASIC PRINCIPLES

A garden of yes: Remember the pattern that God established in the garden. He gave our first parents a world full of yes, and with one prohibited tree in the whole world. There was only one no in the garden of yes. Too many Christian parents function with a garden of no, and the occasional and very intermittent yes in the middle of all the negativity. 

With this, you are establishing a place of joy, peace and fellowship. When the fellowship is broken (as it is by sin), children who are accustomed to the harmony of ordinary life are eager to get back into fellowship. But if ordinary time is a time of dull chronic pain, punctuated by the occasional dramatic “scene,” causing acute pain, then this is not what you want. Your highest parental priority should be your defense of a climate of fellowship—which is only possible in and through Christ.   

Ascent to maturity: if you are applying the principle of our text, you bend the sapling when it is a sapling, and you don’t try to bend a trunk that is a foot in diameter. To change the illustration, you put training wheels on your child’s first bike. You don’t put training wheels on their mountain bike because “now they might really get hurt.”

Too many parents are indulgent when sin is little and sometimes even cute. But this is the time when you should be establishing your authority, storing that authority up when you will be needing to “write checks” on it. Do not indulge your little ones, and then panic when they move into secondary school with a decade of “little or no discipline” under their belt. Now they can wreck a car and kill somebody. Now they can get into dank porn. Now they can get pregnant, or get someone pregnant. Now they can seriously damage their prospects for life, and so the temptation is to rush in and put training wheels on their mountain bike.  

Child Rearing by Grace: We are saved by grace through faith, and not of works lest anyone should boast (Eph. 2:8-9). But while we are not saved by good works, we are most certainly saved to good works. This is the meaning of the next verse. “For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10).

Trusting God for your kids is not a matter of “pedaling harder.” Compare it to the promises of God concerning answered prayer. We are given a number of astonishing promises. But we know they are not vending machine promises, if for no other reason than the Lord’s prayer for deliverance in Gethsemane (Matt. 26:39). At the same time, the promises must mean something. “And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive” (Matt. 21:22). “If ye abide in me, and my words abide in you, ye shall ask what ye will, and it shall be done unto you” (John 15:7). This is a place where we are invited to step into a place of trust, and when God enables us to do so, we can look to Him expectantly. It is same with your children.  

CHRIST ALL THE WAY THROUGH

The very best thing you can do for your children in the Lord is to be an “all-in” Christian. How does He call us to live? And remember that everything He demands from us, He is willing to pour Himself out in order to provide us with it. He writes those promissory notes in His own blood, remember. The second best thing you can do for your children in the Lord is to be an “all-in” husband, or an “all-in” wife. These are the good works you are called to. These are the good works that invite you into the way of peace.

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Joyful Covenant Children (KC)

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INTRODUCTION

As we look around the room each Lord’s Day, we can see that many of us are in the thick of it when it comes to raising children. This is not simply an optical illusion; back in January, we ran a report and discovered that 37% of our congregation is under the age of 11, and nearly half are under the age of 18. Therefore, it is good to keep returning to the important topic of childrearing from time to time, for as the Apostle Paul wrote, it is no trouble for him to repeat himself, and it is good for you (Phil. 3:1). 

THE TEXT

Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.”

4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord (Ephesians 6:1–4 NKJV). 

CHILDREN, OBEY YOUR PARENTS IN THE LORD (V. 1)

Note that the Apostle Paul writes directly to the children—he expects their active participation in hearing his words read aloud in the congregation. He also writes that their obedience is done “in the Lord.” Children of believing parents are members of God’s covenant community, united to Christ. 

THAT IT MAY BE WELL WITH YOU (VV. 2–3)

God’s commandments are for our good. They are not arbitrary but rather are set in place so that we may thrive in the world He has created. Children should know that God has promised great blessings to those who obey their parents. And parents should never forget the purpose or end of all our discipline and training—that our children would genuinely love and have great joy in the Lord all the days of their lives. 

FATHERS, DO NOT PROVOKE YOUR CHILDREN (V. 4)

Just as children have a duty to obey their parents, parents—especially fathers—have a duty to help them obey and keep them from resentment or bitterness. As the Apostle Paul writes to the Colossians, “Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged” (3:21). 

This means that fathers should not be overly strict, harsh, stern, or overbearing. You must remember their frames. But this is not the only way to provoke your children. Passive fathers, who exercise very little discipline (or inconsistent discipline) frustrate children as well. This approach likewise creates homes that are filled with anxiety and unhappiness. 

CONCLUSION

We want our congregation to be filled with families with children who are both obedient and full of genuine joy. But the only way to accomplish this great goal is for children and parents to do their part. 

Children, you are to obey your parents in all things, and as you do so, know that you are pleasing God, and He promises it is for your good. 

Parents, you must do the hard work of cultivating your children’s lives and faith. You must endeavor to know them individually and prune them with great tenderness. You should see to it that they are planted in healthy soil, full of happiness and joy. And all of this must be done in faith, trusting the Lord. It is only then that we can expect to reap a great harvest, from generation to generation.

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Compassion and Its Counterfeits

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THE TEXT

12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. (Colossians 3:12-14)

6 “If your brother, the son of your mother, or your son or your daughter or the wife you embrace or your friend who is as your own soul entices you secretly, saying, ‘Let us go and serve other gods,’ which neither you nor your fathers have known, 7 some of the gods of the peoples who are around you, whether near you or far off from you, from the one end of the earth to the other, 8 you shall not yield to him or listen to him, nor shall your eye pity him, nor shall you spare him, nor shall you conceal him. 9 But you shall kill him. Your hand shall be first against him to put him to death, and afterward the hand of all the people. (Deuteronomy 13:6-9)

INTRODUCTION

These two passages display the complexity of the biblical witness on compassion. In the first, we are to clothe ourselves in compassion (literally: bowels of mercy), which leads us to bear with each other and forgive each other as love binds us all together. Elsewhere Paul “yearns for the Philippians with the affection of Christ” (Phil. 1:8). Affection and sympathy are bonding agents (Phil. 2:1), enabling us to be single-minded and in full accord. The Lord, who is compassionate and merciful, is our ultimate model for compassion, and he has given us the fathers and mothers as images of his compassion (Isa 49:15; 1 Kings 3; Psalm 103).

In the second, we are forbidden to show pity or compassion on those who would entice us to idolatry. Similar commands are given with respect to first degree murder and lying in court (Deuteronomy 7:16, 19:13, and 19:21). In such cases, God is adamant that “your eye shall not pity them.” And again, in doing so, we are to follow God as our model, who executes his judgment without pity or compassion (Jer. 13:14; Lam. 2:17; Ezek. 5:11; 7:4, 9; 8:18).

So how should we make sense of this?

DEFINING COMPASSION AND ITS VICES

The virtue of compassion (or sympathy) is habitual inclination to share the suffering and pain of the hurting which moves us to relieve their suffering and pursue their ultimate good. As Lewis writes, “Pity is meant to be a spur that drives joy to help misery.” The biblical imperative is to weep with those who weep, to clothe ourselves with “bowels of mercy,” to relieve suffering because, like Christ, we are “moved with compassion.”

Virtues go wrong through defect or excess; a defect of compassion is apathy, a callous refusal to identify with and share the pain and suffering of others. On the other hand, (untethered) empathy is an excess of compassion, when our identification and sharing of the emotions of others overwhelms our minds and sweeps us off our feet. Empathy loses sight of the ultimate good, both for ourselves and for the hurting.

And this is precisely our challenge. As Chesterton put it, “The modern world is full of the old Christian virtues gone mad. The virtues have gone mad because they have been isolated from each other and are wandering alone. Thus some scientists care for truth; and their truth is pitiless. Thus some humanitarians only care for pity; and their pity (I am sorry to say) is often untruthful.”

THE PASSION OF PITY

We live in a sentimental age, one that is drowning in a sea of feelings. And thus we are more susceptible to the manipulation of empathy. C.S. Lewis helps us to see ways that empathy or pity goes wrong. In The Great Divorce, Lewis describes the problems with the Passion of Pity. In the final interaction between Sarah Smith and her husband Frank, Sarah describes Frank’s besetting sin, the sin that he must turn away from if he is to be saved.

[Stop] using pity, other people’s pity, in the wrong way. We have all done it a bit on earth, you know. Pity was meant to be a spur that drives joy to help misery. But it can be used the wrong way round. It can be used for a kind of blackmailing. Those who choose misery can hold joy up to ransom, by pity.

You see, I know now. Even as a child you did it. Instead of saying you were sorry, you went and sulked in the attic . . . because you knew that sooner or later one of your sisters would say, “I can’t bear to think of him sitting up there alone, crying.” You used their pity to blackmail them, and they gave in in the end. And afterwards, when we were married . . . oh, it doesn’t matter, if only you will stop it. (131–132)

The passion of pity (or the sin of empathy) makes us vulnerable to emotional blackmail.

Emotional blackmail happens when a person equates his or her emotional pain with another person’s failure to love. They aren’t the same. A person may love well and the beloved still feel hurt. They may then use their felt pain to blackmail the lover into admitting guilt he or she does not have. Emotional blackmail says, “If I feel hurt by you, you are guilty.” There is no defense. The hurt person has become God. His emotion has become judge and jury. Truth does not matter. All that matters is the sovereign suffering of the aggrieved. (Piper)

Empathy, because it is myopic, can lead to great cruelty. “Even a good emotion, pity, if not controlled by charity and justice, leads through anger to cruelty. Most atrocities are stimulated by accounts of the enemy’s atrocities; and pity for the oppressed classes, when separated from the moral law as a whole, leads by a very natural process to the unremitting brutalities of a reign of terror” (Lewis). 

THE ANTIDOTE

So how should we live? First, we must repent of the Sulks. We must refuse to wield our afflictions (especially our minor afflictions) as tools of manipulation. It’s easy to magnify our inconveniences in order to elicit sympathy from those who love us, to make martyrs out of ourselves and send our loved ones on a guilt trip. The Sulks are not only a danger for children.

Second, we must refuse to wield the suffering of others in the same manner. Compassion is a great good, a spur to joy to help those who are suffering. But the line between spurring joy to help misery and using the misery of others to steer the merciful is not always easy to see. In their empathetic zeal, advocates can often overthrow other virtues, such as honesty and justice, in their zeal to help the hurting.

Third, we must be aware of the link between feminism and toxic empathy. By God’s design, women are the more empathetic sex. It’s why women are the glue that holds communities together. Crucially, however, what is a blessing in one place is a curse in another. The same impulse that leads a woman to move toward the hurting with comfort becomes a major liability when it comes to guarding the doctrine and worship of the church. Like in Deuteronomy, there are times–usually involving grave error or gross sin–when God forbids empathy and pity. It’s one reason why the empathetic sex is ill-suited to the ministerial office.

Fourth, refuse to concede what cannot be conceded. Don’t embrace the lie. Biblical compassion reserves the right not to blaspheme. This is especially true in an age of gay “weddings” and other celebrations of wickedness. Be willing to be labeled “heartless” as you seek the ultimate good of other people by refusing to join them in the Lie (even under pressure from other soft-hearted Christians). 

Finally, we must labor to be faithfully compassionate, weeping with those who weep, considering both their immediate feelings and their ultimate good. In compassion, we meet people in suffering and say, “This is hard. I know you feel that way. I’m with you in this, and I have hope.”

At the same time, we refuse to be totally immersed in the feelings of another. We refuse to allow other people to steer our emotional vehicles. We resist attempts to subordinate truth to the feelings and sensitivities of the most reactive and immature members of a community. We move deliberately deliberately and intentionally into the pain of others while clinging to Jesus for dear life. 

As Christians, we must have deep feeling for the hurting, the broken, and the suffering. We are, after all, called to clothe ourselves with “bowels of mercies.” But our feelings, and our sharing in the feelings of others, must be tethered to Truth, to Reality, to Christ. God help us. 

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Discipline as Genuine Love (Biblical Child Discipline in an Age of Therapeutic Goo #5)


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INTRODUCTION

In our message last Lord’s Day, we defined what we mean by the word discipline. Our subject this week is “discipline as genuine love,” and so it is important to begin with a definition of love. What does it mean to love God, and what does it mean to love our neighbor? These are the two great commandments, and so we should know what they summon us to.

To love someone is to treat someone lawfully from the heart. To love God is to do what He calls us to do, and to do it from the heart. Nowhere does Scripture identify love with our emotional “feels,” that approach being an error that is currently destroying millions. At the same time, we are called to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength (Dt. 6:4-9; Mark 12:30), and this would certainly include our “feels.” But this simply means that our emotions must be obedient, along with the rest of our being. But obeying commands is not the same thing as issuing commands. 

So loving God means doing what He says to do, from the heart. “If ye love me, keep my commandments” (John 14:15). And His commandments include bringing up our children in the nurture and admonition, applying physical correction when necessary, and providing loving instruction all the time. 

THE TEXT

“He that spareth his rod hateth his son: But he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes” (Proverbs 13:24). 

“And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, my son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth, and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth. If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live? 10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure; but he for our profit, that we might be partakers of his holiness” (Hebrews 12:5–10). 

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Words like love and hate are to be defined by the Scriptures, and not by our emotional frame of mind. There are sentiments that we would call kind, or loving, or tender, but which are toxic by the standard of the Word. A man might mix up a batch of cyanide or arsenic, and it does not much matter how much emotional sugar was put into the recipe.

And so Proverbs defines hatred of a son—a form of disowning a son—as withholding the rod. But when we think of all the people who withhold this form of correction, what is it that motivates them? Is it what we normally call “hate?” No, it would be what we would normally call sentimentalism or, in its true colors, hatred.

The Hebrews passage teaches us something similar. One of our assurances of our adoption as sons is the fact that God chastens us. He doesn’t spank the neighbor kids, but rather His own (vv. 5-6). We should endure chastening, knowing it to be a mark of sonship (v. 7). If you don’t receive this kind of correction, then that is a sign that you are a bastard, and no legitimate heir (v. 8). If we revere our earthly fathers who do this, then how much more should we do the same with the Father of spirits (v. 9)? Our earthly fathers did it with temporal goals in view, but God has our holiness in mind (v. 10). Notice that while the goals may differ, the process of discipline is the same. 

THE COLD CONCRETE OF COVENANT

The illustration here is aimed at the relationship between parents and children, but it actually applies to all your relationships. But settle it in your minds first with regard to your marriage, and the children God has blessed you with. 

You build your household the same way you build a house. Go down into your basement and look at the concrete walls. They are hard, cold, straight, and gray. There is no warmth to them at all. And because there is no warmth there, it is possible to have warmth elsewhere. Now go upstairs and look at the living room—pillows on the sofa, curtains, soft carpet, pictures on the wall. The surroundings there are truly pleasant. But the only reason anything is pleasant is because the concrete is where the concrete is, and the living room stuff is in the living room. Roll up the carpet, gather the cushions, throw on the sofa, and try to erect a stud wall on it. It will be the wobbliest thing in the world, and this explains why your family interactions are so full of so much unedifying drama. 

THE GREATEST ACT OF LOVE

What was the greatest act of love ever rendered by a human being? The answer to that question has to be the love that Christ showed for us when He laid down His life as a sacrifice for sin—doing this when we were still in rebellion, still in our sins. “But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8). This was the greatest act of love ever, and it is the template for measuring every other act of love (Eph. 5:25) .

And yet, Christ didn’t feel like it. “Then saith he unto them, My soul is exceeding sorrowful, even unto death: tarry ye here, and watch with me” (Matthew 26:38). And on the basis of what He felt, He prayed earnestly in the Garden of Gethsemene—asking His Father three times if the cup could pass from Him. “And he left them, and went away again, and prayed the third time, saying the same words” (Matthew 26:44). And so He obeyed the will of His Father, from the heart, and He did so for the joy that was set before Him. The joy was not behind Him, pushing, but there before Him, beckoning—the way a field of grain beckons a farmer doing the hard work of plowing the field months before (Heb. 12:11).

“Behold, what manner of love the Father hath bestowed upon us, that we should be called the sons of God: therefore the world knoweth us not, because it knew him not” (1 John 3:1). 

The love we experience in our salvation is a triune love. God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son (John 3:16). Everything the Son sees the Father doing, He also does, love included. “As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love” (John 15:9). And the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Spirit (Rom. 5:5). The persons of the Godhead always work together in harmonious unity. 

So there was love in the assignment of the mission, there was love in the execution of the mission, and love in the application of the mission. It began with love, and it ends with love, but there was agony in the middle. Our Savior was no sentimentalist, and neither should you be.

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The Nature of True Discipline (Biblical Child Discipline in an Age of Therapeutic Goo #4)

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INTRODUCTION

The title of this series of messages refers to child discipline. We have come to the point where we need to define that word discipline. What do we mean by it? The English word is descended from the Latin disciplina, which refers to a course of instruction, learning, or knowledge. Discipline is necessarily teleological, meaning that it is directed toward a particular end, that end being graduation, or completion, or maturity. The discipline is both positive and negative. The positive would include being given the harder work of fourth grade, not as punishment, but rather as a reward for having done so well in third grade. The negative aspect would be getting held back from recess for having squirreled around too much during class. But both the negative and positive are aiming at the same goal. The positive inculcates, and the negative corrects. It is important not to confound discipline and punishment. Punishment simply has justice in view, while discipline has correction in view.  

THE TEXT

“Because sentence against an evil work is not executed speedily, therefore the heart of the sons of men is fully set in them to do evil” (Ecclesiastes 8:11).

“And beside this, giving all diligence, add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity. For if these things be in you, and abound, they make you that ye shall neither be barren nor unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ” (2 Pet. 1:5–8; cf. Rom. 5:3-5).  

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Our two texts are related to the two aspects of discipline, negative and positive. This text from Ecclesiastes has the duties of the civil magistrate in view, but the principles involved in it are directly applicable to the management of the home. There are three principles. The sentence must be consistent, in that this verse is true all the time, and should be remember all the time. Second, it needs to be effective (it is a sentence). And last, it needs to be prompt—no delays or postponements. Without this approach, life in the home will tend to slide toward moral disorder. 

Peter describes growth in virtue, which is the point of all godly child rearing. Now Christian virtue has to be grounded on the bedrock of grace, meaning that virtue is no substitute for gospel. Jesus died and rose for the wretched, and virtue is a downstream effect of sanctification. But with that said, you start with faith, and supplement it with virtue (2 Pet. 1:5), and the next layer puts knowledge on top of that virtue (v. 5). When the knowledge has dried, add temperance (v. 6). The next two coats are patience and godliness (v. 6). But this is not the end of it. Put brotherly kindness on top of the godliness, and love on top of that (v. 7). 

THAT WORD TELEOLOGY

I used the word teleology a moment ago. This simply means that there is a point to the whole thing. It is directed toward a certain outcome. When we are not thinking like Christians, we are tempted to treat any suffering we encounter as being pointless. “How could there be a point when we don’t understand the point?”

The point is maturity, that being a maturity in Christ. We are exhorted to be mature in our understanding (1 Cor. 14:20). But we are living in the midst of a full-scale revolt against maturity, with the result that we have sought to infantilize an entire generation. We have in a great measure succeeded, and we see signs of this kind of arrested development everywhere. 

So the contrast between a Christian community bringing up boys and girls in the nurture and admonition of the Lord and the outside world should not be understood simply as one wanting to have “good little boys and girls” while the other group allows them to be naughty. The situation is not static. Everyone, like it or not, is growing up into something. You are either growing up into Christ, or you are growing up into Gollum—diseased, malicious, and infantile. 

A FATAL SUBSTITUTION

People do not just abandon the obvious good of maturity all at one go. Such a folly must be accomplished in stages. The early American ethos used to emphasize character—honesty (Prov. 20:10), a work ethic (Prov. 26:16), competence (Prov. 22:29). But by gradual stages, we have come to substitute personality instead of character—and we have various ways of talking about how we despise the results: all hat and no cattle, all foam and no beer, all sizzle and no steak. 

But in the last generation or so, we have managed to make the whole thing far worse. It used to be that the personality-monger, all teeth and handshakes, and a glossy prospectus, would at least do her thing to you in person. But now she can be an Instagram “influencer” run through three different filters, and with her real life as hollow as a jug.

Character is built in the difficulties. Character grows when you are out in the rain, picking up rocks. Personality grows (or thinks it does) when it is being flattered, stroked, cajoled, and otherwise lied to. So if you are not preparing your children to identify and fight all those lies that the world is dedicated to telling, you are simply preparing one more tasty morsel for the world to devour and digest. If you want your daughters to grow up to be mothers in Israel, then you should not be content when they are acting like they have just enough squirrel brains to download the next Taylor Swift song. If you want your sons to grow up to be valiant in battle, you had better not coddle them when they complain to mom about how math hurts their feelings.  

Adulthood is when you become what you have been becoming all along.     

BY WHAT STANDARD?

The task set before every Christian is to grow up into Christ. Christ is the standard. He is the standard for men and women, and for every boy and every girl. This is the path we must run; this is the only curriculum. Our covenant children are in second grade, and their parents are in junior high. The grandparents are in high school, and have started to think about graduation. But this is a school where all the upper grades are called to help out the lower grades. 

“That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ” (Ephesians 4:14–15). 

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