Christian Living Archives - Page 55 of 61

Parenting Young People 2

Joe Harby on January 30, 2011

Introduction

The hardest thing to maintain in this unbalanced world is balance. We react, we pull away, we lurch, and we tumble. We do this in many ways. And, having heard the exhortation that we should teach our children to love the standard and, if they don’t, to lower the standard, what temptation will confront us? The temptation will be to think that laziness and apathy are grace, and that defensiveness when confronted is zeal for the law of God. But loving God with all your mind, soul, heart and strength is a love with balance.

The Text

“Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord” (Eph. 6:1-4).

Summary of the Text

Here are some of the basics of Christian living within the family. We begin with the duty of obedience (v. 1). When children are young and living at home, honor entails obedience, necessarily. When children are grown and out on their own, the duty of honor remains, but it is rendered differently (Mark 7:10-13). This is obedience rendered by children in the Lord (v. 1). The word for obedience could be rendered literally as listen-under—or, as we might put it, listen up. This attentiveness to what parents say is described here by Paul as a form of honor, and he goes on to describe how much of a blessing it will be to the children who learn how to behave in this way (v. 2). This commandment, to honor parents, is the first commandment with a promise. The promise from God Himself is that things will go well for you throughout your long life on the earth (v. 3). And then fathers are presented with an alternative—one thing is prohibited and another is enjoined. Fathers are told not to exasperate their children to the point of wrath or anger (v. 4), and instead are told to bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (v. 4). Note that they are not told to provoke their children to wrath with the nurture and admonition of the Lord —one excludes the other.

Stop Experimenting on Children

In construction work, one of the good things about a concrete pour is that, no matter what, a couple hours later, you’re all done. This is also one of the really bad things about it. You don’t want to start out with a long foundation wall and wind up with a patio.

Kids are a concrete pour. The time they will spend in your home goes past a lot faster than you thought it would. Fathers are tasked with the responsibility of bringing them up in the Lord, which means that fathers are tasked with the responsibility of working in harmony with the nature of the child. It is of course debated what that nature is actually like, and so how are parents to deal with this?

Too many Christian parents are like that old joke about the Harvard man. “You can always tell a Harvard man, but you can’t tell him much.” Because we have successfully established the principle that parents have true authority in the home, many foolish parents have concluded that this means that anything they may happen to think about child-rearing, or education, or training, or courtship standards, is therefore automatically blessed of God. But fathers are told not to provoke their children because, in this fallen world, this is a very easy thing to do. This is a very easy thing for Christian fathers to do. If it had not been an easy temptation for Ephesian fathers, Paul could have saved his advice for somebody who really needed it. Paul does not make the mistake of thinking that authority makes folly impossible—he cautions against authoritative folly.

The hallmark of whether or not a father is experimenting on his kids, as opposed to bringing them up in obedience, is how open he is to the idea of someone else actually measuring what he is doing. How open is he to true accountability? “Not that we dare to classify or compare ourselves with some of those who are commending themselves. But when they measure themselves by one another and compare themselves with one another, they are without understanding” (2 Cor. 10:12). Note that phrase “without understanding.” How can you tell if parents have undertaken their solemn responsibilities as parents with a demeanor of humble confidence? “Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: and let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head” (Ps. 141:5).

A Road and A Way

The Christian faith is a road, sure enough. But it is also a way. This means that how we walk is as important as where we walk. If someone has questions about what you are doing, it does not answer the concern to point at the road. It does not answer to bring out your books and web sites that argue for this particular kind of asphalt. That’s as may be, but there is something else going on.

How do you conjugate the verb firm? Do you say I am firm, you are stubborn, he is pig-headed? If you do this easily, then you have wandered from the way, whatever road you are on.

Another way of measuring this is by whether or not you require obedience of your children for their sake or not. If you don’t require it, that is selfish. If you demand it for your own reasons, that is selfish. If you require it as a gift to them, then you are modeling the same kind of obedience you are asking for.

And God is Our Father

There is no way for any parent to hear these words without conviction. And conviction is good. But always remember there is a hard-riding guilt that is from the enemy of our souls, and not from the Holy Spirit. Remember that as God is teaching us not to provoke others with impossible standards, He models this for us. He is not provoking us with impossible standards either. Our Father in Heaven requires nothing in this that He does not do Himself. He is the Father of all grace. The one thing to remember about this grace is that He—because He is a loving Father—requires us to freely extend what we have freely received (Matt. 10:8; Col. 3:13).

Joy to the World

Joe Harby on December 19, 2010

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Introduction

In this world, joy is a bedrock sort of thing—and not the froth at the top of a wave. Joy is deep satisfaction in the will of God, and this must be coupled with a recognition of the reality that God’s will is everywhere and in everything. There is no place where we may go and be allowed to murmur or despair in that place because God’s will is somehow “not there.” In the carol we sing about joy to the world, we are dealing with the reality of sins and sorrows that grow, of thorns that infest the ground, and nations that need to have the glories of His righteousness proved. That proof will be found in our faith.

The Text

“Wherein ye greatly rejoice, though now for a season, if need be, ye are in heaviness through manifold temptations: That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ: Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory: Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls” (1 Pet. 1:6-9).

Summary of the Text

The apostle Peter is exhorting believers who are facing significant trials. We still live in a world filled with trouble, and so what he says to them will apply to us also. When confronted with the weight of manifold temptations, our response should be that of “greatly” rejoicing (v. 6). When we are tried, our faith is tried (v. 7). Our faith is tried because God is a goldsmith. When the goldsmith plunges gold into the fire, it is not because he hates the gold, but because he loves the gold enough to want to purify it of its dross (v. 7). When the goldsmith beats the gold, it is not because he has contempt for the gold. He has a crown in mind. This analogy applies more to your faith than to gold (which ultimately perishes), and the goal is to have a faith that praises, honors, and glories at the coming of Jesus Christ (v. 7). You have not seen Him, Peter says, but you love Him (v. 8). You have not seen Him, but you nonetheless believe, and you rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory (v. 8). You are striving to obtain the end of your faith (which is constantly being purified by troubles), and that final purpose is the salvation of your souls (v. 9).

The Problem

Christmas should not be treated by us as the “denial season.” One of the reasons why so many families have so many tangles and scenes during the “holidays” is that everybody expects sentimentalism to fix everything magically. But Christmas is not a “trouble-free” season. We want the scrooges and grinches in our lives to be transformed by gentle snowfall, silver bells, beautifully arranged evergreens, hot cider, and carols being sung in the middle distance. But what happens when you gather together with a bunch of other sinners, and all of them have artificially inflated expectations? What could go wrong? When confronted with the message of sentimentalism, we really do need somebody who will say, “Bah, humbug.”

Joy Unspeakable

Peter is not referring to someone living in the back of a cave, having mystic fits. That is not what is meant by “joy unspeakable.” It is not “cloud of unknowing,” or an orgy of pseudo-enlightenment in the back of your eyeballs. These words are written to believers in the midst of persecution and trial. Pain concentrates the mind. Pain tethers you to this world, and the rope is a stout one. But at the same time, the grace of God enables you to look along the pain, to look down the entire length of the trial, and to see the purpose and point of it all. For the unbelieving observer off to the side, watching you, there is no explanation that can make sense of it.

This is how God works. It is His way. “And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:7). The peace of God is an invisible shield, one which others cannot see. This is why it passes their understanding. They see that your hearts and minds are protected, but they cannot see how.

Note that your hearts and minds are not the shield, and they are not set up to protect the peace of God. The peace of God is no frail thing, needing your help to keep it from being smashed. The peace of God is an impenetrable helmet, and your contentment is your head. It protects you, not the other way around.

Faith like Refined Gold

Faith can do this, even though it may do it imperfectly. Gold is gold, even with dross in it. The first round purifies the faith, so that you can see and understand the process. That faith thus purified is prepared for the next round— even if the fire is more intense, or the difficulties more severe. The point is not to avoid the process.

Joy to the World

So the message of Christmas is not a delusional message. We are not pretending that we live in a world that is not struggling under a curse. The doctor who applies medicine to a wound is not pretending the wound is non-existent. The craftsman who repairs a smashed piece of expensive furniture is not denying the damage. His presence presupposes the damage. The refiner’s fire does not exclude the reality of dross—it is excluding the dross in another way. The Incarnation is God’s opening salvo in His war on our sins. The presence of sin should no more be astonishing than the presence of Nazis fighting back at Normandy.

View the world with the eye of a Christian realism. The turning of seasons makes no one better. The gentle fall of snow removes no sin. The hanging of decorations only makes a living room full of sin sadder. As Jesus once put it, “Ye fools and blind: for whether is greater, the gold, or the temple that sanctifieth the gold? (Matt. 23:17). Which is more important, the hat or the cattle? The foam or the beer? The gift or the altar? The gold paper stamp on the Christmas card or the gold coin of your faith?

If our hearts are decorated with the refined gold of a true faith, we may therefore decorate everything else. If they are not, then what’s the point? Joy is fundamentally realistic—which is why unbelief thinks of it as insane.

Gratitude and its Alternative

Joe Harby on November 28, 2010

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Introduction

This Lord’s Day is the first after our Thanksgiving holiday, and is also the first Sunday in Advent. Because we want to stand against what might be called morbid penitentialism, we want this season to be suffused with a glad anticipation. The only conviction we want to awaken would be a spirit of penitence for things we should be repentant for at any time of year. At the same time, if you hear His voice today, do not harden your hearts.

The Text

“Wherefore he saith, Awake thou that sleepest, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall give thee light” (Eph. 5:14).

Background to the Text

For many evangelicals the parable of the wise and foolish virgins, and wedding preparedness, is related to the doctrine of the Second Coming. But some of you may have noticed that in our Cantus, this seems to be an image that is often used in the context of Advent. For example, consider Behold the Bridegroom Cometh (p. 218), How Lovely Shines the Morning Star (pp. 220-223), and Wake, Awake for Night is Flying (pp. 228-229). Why do we do this? Why think about the Wedding Feast of the Lamb during our preparations for Christmas? The reason is that wisdom can be described as having the end in mind at the very beginning. When Mary was holding Jesus as a baby in her arms, she was told about the crucifixion (Luke 2:35). When she was pregnant and visiting Elizabeth, she exulted in the end of the matter, in the fact that the mighty would in fact be pulled out of their seats (Luke 1:52). She anticipated the end at the beginning. And this is what we want to do in the course of Advent. We know the whole story, and we should live and act as those who know the whole story.

Summary of the Text

The text is an invitation to the unbeliever, closed up in sleep of his sins, to wake up. When he wakes up it is from a condition of spiritual death, and the light of Christ will shine upon him. In the surrounding verses, we have a description of the nature of that death, as well as a series of exhortations to Christians on how to relate to it. Christians are told first that fornication and other forms of uncleanness should not even be named among them (v. 3). He then says that they should not be crude in their joking either (v. 4), but instead they should give thanks. That kind of unclean living is not a trifle; those who live that way will not inherit the kingdom of Christ and of God (vv. 5-6). Christians are then told not to be “partakers” with them (v. 7), just as they will be told not to have fellowship with those works (v. 11). That this partaking has to do with speech is clear (v. 12). Believers used to be that way (vv. 8–10), and should not long for the old ways. That is darkness, and they are now in the light. We are supposed to reprove such works (v. 11), and the reproof is supposed to consist of the light that we shine (v. 13). So this is how unbelievers have the light of Christ shine on them—through us (vv. 13-14). Because of the evil of the surrounding darkness, we should be careful to walk carefully, as those who are wise (v. 15). Time is limited, the days are evil, and so the time should be wisely used (v. 16). We should be wise enough to understand what the Lord’s will is (v. 17). We should not drink to excess, even at Christmas parties, but instead be filled by the Spirit’s work (v. 18). We can tell this has happened because of how we speak (v. 19), and the speaking of psalms, hymns and spiritual songs is the way that we give thanks for all things to God in the name of Jesus (v. 20).

This, Not That

It is really interesting to note how Paul reasons here. For another example of it, Paul says that a thief should quit stealing, and should work with his hands instead (Eph. 4:28). This tells us that Paul thinks that this is a basic alternative.

Hard work drives out dishonesty with property and dishonesty with property drives out hard work.

Here he says that our language should not be characterized by coarse jesting, but instead by thanksgiving (v. 4). Gravitation toward dirty jokes, foul movies, crude entertainment, and so forth is a principal indicator of an ungrateful and discontented soul. Further, a soul that is overflowing with thanksgiving in the way described in this passage (vv. 4, 20) will naturally recoil from filth. If your nose works, no one has to “make a rule” requiring you stop smelling putrid things. And if you consistently gravitate toward putrid things, this means that your sense of smell is shot. What must you do instead? You must give yourself to the giving of thanks. And if this is something you cannot do, then wake up, oh, sleeper, and Christ will shine on you. If thanksgiving arrives, then crudity is gone.

Evangelistic Confusion

More than a few Christians think that in order to be effective evangelistically, they have to minimize differences between themselves and the unbelievers. They have to fit in, they have to share entertainment standards, they have to go along to show that they don’t think “they are better than other folks.” But the end of this strategy is that you are telling an unbeliever to wake up because the room you are asleep in is just as dark as his.

Sing the Story

In Romans 1, Paul tells us that the unbelieving man hates two things above everything else. He does not want to honor God as God, and he does not want to give Him thanks. Our task, in this dark and sinful generation, should therefore be to honor God as God as much as we can, and to thank Him as much as we can.

And so here is the glorious thing. During the Christmas season, because of our Christian heritage (which the secularists are busy trying to eradicate and outlaw, see above), we still have an open invitation to honor God as God, and to give Him thanks. We can shine the light of the whole story. The sovereign God who arranged for the birth of Jesus at Bethlehem is obviously in control of everything—stars, wicked kings, pagan astrologers, shepherds, and all the rest of history. Tell the story. And He is also the one who did this for us men, and for our salvation. With thanksgiving, sing the story.

Psalm 59: Deception and War

Joe Harby on November 14, 2010

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Introduction

Here is yet another psalm from yet another time when David was in trouble. The inscription says that it was the incident in which Saul’s daughter, Michal, helped David to escape when Saul’s men were watching their house.

The Text

To the chief Musician, Altaschith, Michtam of David; when Saul sent, and they watched the house to kill him. “Deliver me from mine enemies, O my God: defend me from them that rise up against me . . .” (Ps. 59:1-17)

Background to the Text

Let’s begin by reading the account of this incident in 1 Sam. 19:8-17. We can tell something of the generally low spiritual condition in that time by the availability of a teraphim, a household idol that Michal could use. Samuel had rebuked Saul four chapters earlier, and used this word to do it—stubbornness is “as iniquity and teraphim” (1 Sam. 15:23). Rachel had stolen the teraphim of her father in Gen. 31, a smaller one, that she could hide under a saddle. This one that Michal used was apparently much larger, the size of a man. The thing to note here is that David was delivered by the Lord, and he was delivered by means of his wife’s cunning and trickery. She helps David escape by means of a trick, and protects herself from her father’s anger by means of a lie.

Summary of the Text

In vv. 1-7, he prays, setting forth his woes. In vv. 8-10, he declares his confidence in the Lord. In the remainder of the psalm, he renews his petitions, singing with joy as he does so (vv. 11-17). Saul had been stirred up by an evil spirit “from the Lord,” and yet David was still able to cry out to God for deliverance (v. 1). Those seeking him were intent on murder, they were bloody men (v. 2). They were waiting for him (v. 3), and not because he had done anything wrong. They are industrious in their evil (v. 4). He asks God to withhold mercy from the wicked, as they are being wicked (v. 5). For the first time, David compares his enemies to prowling scavenger dogs (v. 6). Their mouths spill out violence (v. 7). But David knows that they are going to be laughed at (v. 8). “Saul’s daughter put an idol in the bed, and then used goat hair . . .” God would defend David (v. 9). God would let David see his enemies thwarted (v. 10). David then asks God to prolong the existence of his enemies, so that God’s people would not get too much out of spiritual shape (v. 11). David asks that their lying and deceitful ways would result in them being taken in their pride (v. 12). Consume their lying works (v. 13). Let them prowl, and growl, unsatisfied (vv. 14-15). David escaped by night; he would sing in the morning (v. 16). He will sing to the God of all mercy (v. 17).

Envy is a Form of 20/20 Blindness

In the historical background to this psalm, we learn that David was a faithful warrior, fighting Saul’s battles, and that God had given him success. He was then used as a musician to play in a way that might comfort Saul. But Saul was tormented, and tried to pin David to the wall with a javelin.

Noise Like a Dog

We are accustomed to think of dogs in the way we use them as domestic pets. We have very little experience with dogs of the ancient near East, dogs that were vicious scavengers, hunting in packs within the city limits—a very dangerous form of garbage disposal. David compares the stake out team outside his house to such dogs, and he does so twice. The first mention is in v. 6—they make a noise like a dog, and go around the city. The second is in v. 14, with the detail added that they should resent it if they are not satisfied, if they do not get what they want (v. 15).

Life is Not a Game

In football, everything is as level as you can make it. If one team is not allowed to clip, the other team is not allowed to do so. If one team has four plays to make a first down, the other team doesn’t get six attempts. From this, too many Christians have concluded that if the Pharisees don’t get to call Jesus demon-possessed, then we shouldn’t be able to call the man living among the tombs demon-possessed. But in warfare, and in life, there is a little matter called the truth. And there is also an important question about whether or not there is a condition of war. Deception is in war what killing is in war.

Deception and War

Saul sinned by believing lies about David. The wicked men who sought David’s life in this incident were characterized by their lies (v. 12). So how was it God’s deliverance that enabled David to get away by means of deception and trickery?

In a state of peace, lying is a great evil. The lake of fire is reserved for liars (Rev. 21:8). We are told not to lie to one another (Col. 3:9). We are commanded not to bear false witness against our neighbor (Ex. 20:16). But in this fallen world, some people so behave (by their lies) as to forfeit their right to the truth.

In a condition of war, deception is not the kind of lying we just noted. It is not a sin to paint your tank to look like a bush when it is in fact not a bush. But you are deceiving the enemy pilots . . . The Hebrew midwives lied to Pharaoh, and so God greatly blessed them (Ex. 1:17-19). Rahab hid the spies, sent them out another way than she said she did, and James tells us that this deception was what vindicated her faith as true and living faith (Jas. 2:25). In her case, faith without such a deception would have been dead. David pretended to be mad when he was not (1 Sam. 21:15). God told Joshua to deceive the soldiers of Ai with a fake retreat (Josh. 8:1-2). We could make a very long list if we wished. We want to be righteous, not over-scrupulous.

The issue is God’s law. Those who won’t deceive when God’s law requires it are likely to be the same ones who will lie when His law forbids it.

Psalm 54: According To His Truth

Joe Harby on September 26, 2010

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Introduction

The background to this psalm is found in 1 Samuel 23, and it is a testimony to David’s faithfulness to God in the midst of much unfaithfulness to him. David had delivered Keilah from the Philistines, but the Lord told David that they would turn him over to Saul. He then went to the wilderness of Kiph, but the Kiphim went to Saul the tyrant and promised to turn David over to him. Saul, true to form, felt like he’s the one who needed compassion (1 Sam. 23:21). The one exception to all this treachery was Jonathan. In this background chapter, he makes a wonderful covenant with David—Saul, the tyrant, fathered one of the noblest sons in all of Scripture (1 Sam. 23:16). But when most men are treacherous, and when many men are flakes, God remains God.

The Text

“To the chief Musician on Neginoth, Maschil, A Psalm of David, when the Ziphims came and said to Saul, Doth not David hide himself with us?

Save me, O God, by thy name, and judge me by thy strength. Hear my prayer, O God; give ear to the words of my mouth. For strangers are risen up against me, and oppressors seek after my soul: they have not set God before them. Selah. Behold, God is mine helper: the Lord is with them that uphold my soul. He shall reward evil unto mine enemies: cut them off in thy truth. I will freely sacrifice unto thee: I will praise thy name, O LORD; for it is good. For he hath delivered me out of all trouble: and mine eye hath seen his desire upon mine enemies” (Ps. 54:1-7).

Summary of the Text

When the Kiphim volunteered to turn David over to Saul, David cries out to God, asking for salvation by the name of God (v. 1), and he requests that he be judged by the strength of God (v. 1). He then urges God to listen (v. 2). David says that his problem is two-fold—strangers have volunteered to take up the conflict with David (v. 3), and oppressors are trying to get him (v. 3). The Ziphim are the strangers, who should have had no problem with David, and the oppressors are Saul and his forces. Both are motivated by a functional atheism—they have not set God before them (v. 3). We then find a selah—Spurgeon says that David is out of breath with indignation. David then says that God is with him; the Lord is also with those who encourage David (v. 4), which would have to include Jonathan. David knows the shape that this help will take—God will reward evil to David’s enemies, and will cut them off in His truth (v. 5). David knows this will happen, and he promises to pay his sacrificial vows when it does (v. 6). He will praise God’s name (v. 6), the name by which he was saved (v. 1). David claims his deliverance by faith (v. 7), and he foresees his God-given victory over his enemies (v. 7).

More on Atheism

We considered the realities of functional atheism in the previous psalm, but we see that same kind of atheism at work here. David says that strangers have risen up, and oppressors have pursued, because “they have not set God before them.” But what does Saul say when the Ziphim come to him? He puts a pious varnish over it. “And Saul said, Blessed be ye of the LORD; for ye have compassion on me” (1 Sam. 23:21). Saul pronounces this blessing in the name of Yahweh, the covenant God of Israel.

We have noted this characteristic of Saul before—trying to murder others while expecting everybody to feel sorry for him. But this kind of thing is often a function of retroactive justification. If one man wrongs another, he is frequently not of a mind to say to himself, “Yes, I did a vile thing without any good reason.” The human heart is a self-justification factory, manufacturing reasons by the quarter ton.

Most of those reasons are of a very poor quality indeed, and have a very tenuous relationship to any kind of orderly chronology. So one man wrongs another, and then goes hunting around in the past (anything earlier than his sin) for retroactively perceived grievances, things that were perfectly fine with him at the time. This is the way the world works, but it must not be the way that you work.

Judgment Is Real

Now David is not being petty or vindictive. As with the imprecatory psalms, the whole point is to turn a grotesque situation over to God, who is the one who sees all things perfectly. We can know the main outlines, but we still turn it over to God. While the bulk of this psalm is David asking to receive help, in one place he makes a direct statement about what God will do to those who are persecuting him. So it is not turned over to God in a spirit of agnosticism; the situation is turned over to God with particular requests attached. David here says that God will “reward evil” to David’s enemies. David has a particular request that God “cut them off.” He wants God to do this in God’s truth, and according to God’s judgments, but he nonetheless wants God to do it. Someone has ably defined a liberal as someone who won’t take up his own side in a fight. If that is the case, the spirit of liberalism is pervasive in the modern church—even including ostensibly conservative churches.

The Troublesome Issue of Works

God will not not judge the world in the aggregate. He will not judge by the gross ton. His judgments will involve glasses of cold water that some people gave and other people didn’t (Mark 9:41). His judgments will include every idle word that some people spoke and some people didn’t (Matt. 12:36). God will render to every man according to his deeds (Rom. 2:6). The apostle Paul also says of false teachers that their “end shall be according to their works” (2 Cor. 11:15). He also asked that Alexander be rewarded “according to his works” (2 Tim. 4:14). “And if ye call on the Father, who without respect of persons judgeth according to every man’s work, pass the time of your sojourning here in fear” (1 Pet. 1:17).

Now in line with all the Reformation, we hold that the dividing line between the sheep and goats is a line drawn by the electing good pleasure of God, and is not according to works. But once the Lord’s infinite wisdom has drawn that line, the punishments and the rewards that are apportioned to the reprobate and the elect respectively most certainly are in line with how we have lived our lives. The scriptural testimony to this reality is abundant. And so it is crucial that we turn to Christ, knowing that His mercies endure forever.