Christ Church

A Marriage Tune Up (King’s Cross)

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INTRODUCTION

As we begin a new year, it’s worth reviewing some of the most basic assignments we have in our marriages. The central paradigm is the gospel, and the central duties are love and respect. But as with many of these things that we hear often, it is incredibly important that we determine by God’s grace not to be merely hearers of the Word but doers.

The Text: “Wives submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and He is the Savior of the Body…” (Eph. 5:22-33).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

The Bible teaches that marriage is one of the central pictures of the gospel (Eph. 5:23-25, 32), and therefore generally speaking, the state of marriage in a land will tell you a lot about the state of the gospel in that land. This gospel is embodied by a wife submitting to her own husband as to the Lord Jesus (Eph. 5:22), and each husband taking responsibility for his wife just as Christ does as the head of the church (Eph. 5:23). This means that a wife is to obey her husband as the church obeys Christ in everything (Eph. 5:24). And husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church, laying down his life for her efficaciously, making her pure and holy (Eph. 5:25-27). This love is exemplified in the way a man cares for his own body, nourishing and cherishing, again, just as the Lord does the Church (Eph. 5:28-30). A man leaves his father and mother to become one flesh with his wife, and this is all a great mystery that proclaims Christ and the church (Eph. 5:31-32). Therefore, a man must love his wife, and a wife must reverence her husband (Eph. 5:33).

HUSBANDS LOVE

The command is for husbands to love because men need to be reminded to do this and because it is what a wife particularly needs. A man more naturally tends to respect, but that is not the particular command given. Christ is the model of this love, and what the Bible particularly points out is the duty of taking responsibility for her as her head and sacrificing for her good (Eph. 5:23, 25-27). This requires you to understand the difference between responsibility and guilt: you may not be personally guilty for some sin of your wife, but you are responsible for all of it, just as you may not be guilty for some injuries in your body but you are responsible (Eph. 5:28).

This love also requires thoughtfulness about your wife’s needs. You are not to love her aimlessly. You are to love like Christ, which is to say efficaciously. You are to give yourself for her to make her more holy and pure (Eph. 5:25-26). And you are to do this in order to present her to yourself more glorious and lovely, just like Jesus does (Eph. 5:27). Loving your wife well doesn’t mean doing whatever she wants; it means doing whatever it takes to make her a better woman.

WIVES RESPECT

The command is for wives to respect because women need to be reminded to do this and because it is what a man particularly needs. Women tend to more naturally love, and while that is certainly good (Tit. 2:4), the particular command is for wives to respect (Eph. 5:33). And this is also word for single ladies: your standard for a man needs to be not whether you do or could love him; your standard needs to be: do you respect him?

What is respect? Respect is honor, looking up to, thinking highly of, including the kind of trust that willingly submits to and obeys (Eph. 5:22, 24). Just as we live in a world that despises fathers; we live in a world that despises true husbands. And unfortunately many Christian women feel free to dishonor their husbands openly, making fun of them, talking them down, complaining about them, or simply being difficult for them, and it is often all dismissed with the hand-waving excuse, “but I love him.” However, the example a woman is given is the obedience of the church to Christ. How would you have the Christian Church submit to Christ? Then show the world in your submissive respect for your husband.

FELLOWSHIP MULTIPLIED

This love and respect is designed by God to result in a glorious unity and fellowship. But sin has twisted every son and daughter of Adam, and the curse has particularly attacked marriage, creating tension and hurt where there was none before (Gen. 3:16). This is why the only way for a marriage to have true Christian fellowship is by the blood of the Lamb: “If we walk in the light as He is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus Christ cleanses us from all unrighteousness” (1 Jn. 1:7). If this is true of Christian fellowship in general, it is most certainly true of Christian marriage in particular. But the thing to underline here is that marriage fellowship is one of the primary contributors to all fellowship. What you are sharing with one another is either true Christian fellowship (koinonia) (1 Cor. 10:16, 1 Jn. 1:3) or else it is some kind of Satanic, pharisaical cancer. You are one with your spouse, and when you come here, you are sharing that with one another (1 Cor. 11).

CONCLUSIONS

Never forget that these instructions come as part of the great “therefore” of Ephesians 4:1. We love because He loved us first. We work because we are His workmanship (Eph. 2:10). Which is to say that all of this is only possible by God’s grace. But grace is not something vague, like a Christian version of “luck” or “good vibes” or random windfalls. Grace is the personal favor and blessing of God in Jesus Christ. It begins with His personal forgiveness, but it also includes the wisdom and power to obey all of His commands: we stand in His grace (Rom. 5:1-2).

There are particular strengths and glories that men and women bring to the world, and they take shape as men take responsibility and love their wives and as women submit to their husbands and respect them. Harmony is not the result of everyone singing the same music. Harmony happens when each part sings the part assigned to them.

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Biblical Imitation: Looking Into the Mirror and Not Forgetting What You Look Like (Troy)

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But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as by the Spirit of the Lord.  2 Corinthians 3:18

First, imitation serves as an example of God’s design in how he made the world.  He is the master craftsman, and his world is built to run on a certain mix of fuel.  Inputs drive outputs, and imitation links these together.  In this sense, imitation is inescapable.  It’s not if, but who?  Second, the principle of imitation is intricately linked to how we live our lives and how we raise our kids.  Finally, Scripture show us to how we can take this principle of God’s design and push it into the corners of our daily lives.  The fact that we are starting a new year, adds the spice of considering how we can work our understanding of imitation into real change in our lives versus vain resolutions.  

GOD’S DESIGN – IMITATION

Proverbs 22:24-25, “Make no friendship with an angry man, And with a furious man do not go, Lest you learn his ways and set a snare for your soul.”

IMITATION COMMANDS: DO’S AND DON’TS

3 John 1:11, “Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God.”

IMITATION – PUTTING THIS INTO PRACTICE

Hebrews 13:7, Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith.

Test for what you are reading or watching  (social media)

Philippians 4:8, Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.  

PRAYER IN LIGHT OF IMITATING CHRIST

With Christ — Mark 3:14

Like Christ — 2 Corinthian 3:18

For Christ — 2 Corinthians 5:14-15

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The Authority of Gratitude

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INTRODUCTION

As we have all enjoyed the blessings of a Thanksgiving holiday just a few days ago, I thought it appropriate to spend some time on a little understood aspect of gratitude or thanksgiving. We of course understand how pleasant gratitude is. In addition, we readily grasp the duty of expressing our thanksgiving to God. We grasp that gratitude is something that is critical in keeping our faith renewing and constantly growing. The spiritual food we partake of every Lord’s Day is called the Eucharist, from the Greek word for giving thanks, which is eucharisto. But what I want to focus on this morning is what might be called the authority of gratitude. 

THE TEXT

“Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as lights in the world; Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain” (Philippians 2:14–16). 

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

The opposite of thanksgiving is grumbling or complaining. The carping, critical voice is one that repeatedly came under the judgment of God in Scripture, and being under the heavy hand of God is the opposite of entering into an authoritative position. Paul here instructs believers to do everything without complaining (v. 14) The result of this is that it will not be possible to assign blame or fault to such a one—“blameless and harmless” (v. 15). It is fitting that there be no blame or rebuke because we are the sons of God, and we are to contrast sharply against the backdrop of a crooked and perverse generation. It is as though they are the pitch black sky, and we are the stars arrayed across that sky. Such non-complaining Christians are privileged to hold forth the word of life, and this is a cause of great rejoicing for Paul. His race was not run in vain, and his work was not conducted in vain (v. 16). 

WITHOUT COMPLAINING

Paul requires that we do everything without complaining or grumbling. That word everything encompasses quite a lot, realize. No complaints about the weather, or the food, or the traffic, or the husband, or the wife, or the children, or the economy, or the administration, or the tool that just broke. 

Now there is a tightrope to walk here. This is a very imperfect world, and many things in it require correction. Many professions are correcting professions, and they are lawful professions—coaches, teachers, copyeditors, judges, policemen, reformers, guitar instructors, driving instructors, pastors, parents, and so on. Now with so much correction being required, what we to do with this requirement to do everything without complaining or grumbling? We are to enter into the task of helping others without exuding the sense that we are personally aggrieved. Those in positions of authority over others must banish from their lives all traces of self interest. 

“Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted” (Galatians 6:1). 

THREE MARKERS OF AUTHORITY

In this short passage, Paul gives us three phrases that we can tie into the gift of authority. Those phrases are sons of God, lights in the world, and holding forth the word of life.

Sons of God: There is authority involved in becoming a son of God. “But as many as received him, to them gave he power [authority, exousia] to become the sons of God, even to them that believe on his name” (John 1:12). There is authority in putting to death the sins of the flesh. “For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God.” (Romans 8:14). And there is an authority that is building to a crescendo. “Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:2). 

Lights in the world: Shining as lights in the world is something that the world knows how to link back to the Father in heaven. “Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid. Neither do men light a candle, and put it under a bushel, but on a candlestick; and it giveth light unto all that are in the house. Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 5:14–16). 

Holding forth the word of life: A messenger or a sent one always brings with him the authority of the sender. “How beautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace; That bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; That saith unto Zion, thy God reigneth!” (Isaiah 52:7). 

When our lives are characterized by gratitude, and we are freed from the whining spirit that affects us so easily, what does this do? It proclaims that we are living out the message that we are holding in our hands. It means that we shine like an array of stars against a very dark night. It means that we are the adopted sons of God, and that when the world comes into its rights, we will be manifested as the sons of God. And all of this, taken together, means that authority will come to you naturally. It is not something you will need to raise your voice in order to get. In fact, just the opposite.

Gratitude is one of the basic foundation stones of all true authority.  

THE THANKFUL CHRIST

In this, as in everything else, our task is to look to Christ. We look to Him first as our Savior, and then, having received the gift of a full and complete salvation, we look to Him as our example. If you look to Him as your example first, there will be nothing for you there but despair. You can’t jump that high. 

“For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps” (1 Peter 2:21).

We look to His suffering first. And then, after that, we follow in His steps. And what does Christ do after His great triumph. He praises God in the midst of the congregation (Ps. 22:22, 25). He sees the travail of His soul, and is satisfied (Is. 53:11). He did what He did because of the joy set before Him (Heb. 12:2). And He, with the most gratitude, has been granted all authority (Matt. 28:18-20). 

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Holidays & Militant Contentment (King’s Cross)

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INTRODUCTION

Holidays are challenging times for many reasons: routines are off, people in our houses, being in other peoples’ houses, challenging people, missing loved ones, or the things that aren’t right or good, and simmering beneath it all, you’re a corrupt sinner. Sometimes another contributing factor is the contrast of really good things and really hard things at the same time in different ways that tempts us to discontent, anxiety, frustrations, bitterness, or despair. But Christ gives the strong gifts of contentment, peace, and joy as He teaches you to rest in Your Father. 

The Text: “Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you…” (Phil. 4:9-13).

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

The overarching exhortation is to stand fast in the Lord and to have peace both in our hearts and minds and as well as with one another (Phil. 4:1-2, 7), and this continues with the exhortation to follow Paul’s apostolic example, with the promise that God’s peace will accompany that imitation (Phil. 4:9). Paul follows his own counsel to rejoice in the Lord, specifically for the recent gift he has received from the Philippians, knowing that it was something they were eager to do but hadn’t had the opportunity until then (Phil. 4:10). Paul clarifies that he wasn’t in a bad way without their gift since he had learned to be content in every circumstance (Phil. 4:11). He had learned to be poor and rich, full and hungry, abound and suffer need because He had the power to fulfill all of his duty through the strength of Christ (Phil. 4:12-13). 

GODLY IMITATION

We noted last week that prayer with thanksgiving is a crucial part of dealing with anxiety (Phil. 4:6), as well as making lists of all the true, just, pure, and lovely things (Phil. 4:8). But you should add to this arsenal following the examples of other faithful Christians, beginning with Christ Himself: “For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps” (1 Pet. 2:21, Mt. 16:24). But one of the ways we do that is by following those who are following Him well: “Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ” (1Cor. 11:1). We follow Paul and all of the apostle well as we study the New Testament in particular. But the New Testament also points us to the example of the Old Testament: “Now all these things happened unto them for ensamples: and they are written for our admonition, upon whom the ends of the world are come” (1 Cor. 10:11, Heb. 11). We are also instructed to imitate faithful pastors and elders (Heb. 13:7). We do not trust in men, but if we trust in God, we can see His Spirit at work in His people, and there is great encouragement as we all pull in the same direction toward Christ (like in athletics). 

MILITANT CONTENTMENT

Part of the example we need to follow is Paul’s contentment. Notice that he is extremely grateful for the gift he’s received from the Philippians, but he hastens to add that he wasn’t desperate for it. This is a hard line to walk: presenting requests and rejoicing greatly in their fulfillment but also complete surrender to the will of God because He knows best – rejoicing in the Lord always, even when He says no or not yet. This is only possible through deep faith in the goodness of God our Father. Jesus reveals this to us most clearly: Our heavenly Father feeds the birds, and we are more important than birds (Mt. 6:26). Our heavenly Father clothes the grass, and we are more valuable than grass (Mt. 6:30). Our Father knows all of our needs (Mt. 6:32), He is a more faithful Father than any earthly father (Mt. 7:11), and no good thing does He withhold from His people (Ps. 84:11). He who gave His own Son, will give us everything we need (Rom. 8:32). This means that when God says “no” or “not yet” it is better for us and better for the Kingdom (cf. Mt. 6:33). This is why Jesus prayed in His greatest agony, “not my will, by Thy will be done” (Mt. 26:39). And by submitting to the Father, Jesus crushed sin, death, and the devil and saved the world (1 Pet. 2:23-25). This is not apathy; this is militant contentment. Contentment makes us faithful servants and grants us maximum mobility for our King. 

THE STRENGTH OF CHRIST

While this Christian calendar verse about “doing all things through Christ” is often misquoted and misapplied (as though it applies to absolutely anything you want to do), it is a gloriously comforting verse. It means that Christ gives the strength we need to do whatever He requires. He gives us the strength to resist temptation, and He always makes a way of escape (1 Cor. 10:13). He gives us the strength to obey: God works in us both the will and the power to please Him (Phil. 2:13). Christ Himself is our mighty armor in enduring suffering (1 Pet. 4:1). And what is it exactly that we arm ourselves with? The justice of God and the resurrection of Jesus Christ (Eph. 1:19-20, cf. 1 Pet. 2:23).

APPLICATIONS

Wise imitation vs. slavish imitation: We are seeking to cultivate a community of “like-mindedness” that isn’t woodenly rigid, inflexible, or disproportionate. We want to major on the majors and minor on the minors, extending true liberty without being naïve (Rom. 14, Gal. 2). Christian like-mindedness is truly a gift from the God of patience and consolation (Rom. 15:5). It comes from the consolations of Christ and the fellowship of the Spirit (Phil. 2:1), and it consists of having the same love, one soul/spirit, and one mind (Phil. 2:2). How can we tell the difference? “The fear of man is a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe.” (Prov. 29:25). Surround yourself with faithful witnesses, but keep your eyes fixed on Jesus (Heb. 12:1-2). 

Meditate on Heaven: You know the old saying about the fellow who was so heavenly minded, he was no earthly good, but I think that cautionary tale is almost entirely misguided and false. To be truly heavenly minded is to maximize your earthly good. The problem isn’t with people thinking about Heaven, the problem is with people mistaking their idols and idolatrous delusions for Heaven. But the true Heaven, where Jesus is seated at the Father’s right hand is what arms us for faithfulness here. “Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth. For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God… Mortify therefore your members…” (Col. 3:1-5). 

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Anxiety & Thanksgiving (King’s Cross)

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INTRODUCTION

We live in a world full of anxiety and stress. And far too often, Christians default to unbelieving assumptions, diagnosing their problems as circumstances, environment, diet, or chemicals. While sometimes material changes can help, God’s Word says our central need is Christ. In Him is a peace that passes all understanding, a peace that is a fortress for our hearts and minds. 

The Text: “Rejoice in the Lord always: and again I say, Rejoice. Let your moderation be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand. Be careful for nothing…” (Phil. 4:

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

As Paul brings this letter in for a landing, he exhorts the Philippians to stand fast in the Lord and to be likeminded (Phil. 4:1-2), which leads to a series of four commands and a promise, with a final exhortation for doing so. The first command is a doubled: rejoice in the Lord always, and again, rejoice (Phil. 4:4). Obedience to that command goes a long way toward making your gentleness obvious to everyone around you (including your kids), which is the next command, but the foundation of that gentleness is the presence of the Lord: the Lord is near (Phil. 4:5). The third command is to be anxious for nothing (Phil. 4:6), which is greatly assisted by obeying the fourth command: to bring your requests to God with thanksgiving (Phil. 4:6). Obedience to all of these commands brings with it the promise that the peace of God will be an impenetrable castle around your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus (Phil. 4:7). And Christians practice that joy and peace by meditating on all the true, lovely, and virtuous things (Phil. 4:8).

LAW & GOSPEL

Before talking about these commands in particular, we need to talk about what we should think about biblical commands in general first. There are two fundamentally different approaches to God’s law and commands. One approach says that if you obey God’s law, you can achieve righteousness, and be accepted by God. The other approach says that you cannot obey the law perfectly, and therefore you can only be accepted by God through Christ’s perfect obedience for you (Phil. 3:9, Gal. 3:10-13). The Bible says that the second understanding is correct: even if you obeyed most of the law but disobeyed at one point, you have broken the whole law (Js. 2:10). This is because breaking God’s law is personal defiance of the living God, and the same God who said not to steal, also said not to commit sexual immorality and not to lie (Js. 2:11). 

So those who insist on trying to keep the law to achieve their own righteousness will be condemned by the law, but those who trust in Jesus Christ, are released from the demands of the law and accepted by God (Rom. 8:1). Christ is accepted in their place both as perfectly righteous and obedient and as the One who receives the penalty that we deserved for our disobedience (Rom. 8:2-3). And those who trust in Christ for all of this also receive His Holy Spirit who begins to work in us the power and desire to obey (Rom. 8:4-5). These two paths are called “works righteousness” and the “righteousness of faith.” Works righteousness is a treadmill of despair, but the righteousness of faith is God’s escalator carrying you to glory. 

REJOICE IN THE LORD ALWAYS

It’s important to begin with those two paths because if you are on the “works righteousness” treadmill, “rejoicing always” will seem like an impossible task. Then add “let your gentleness be known to all men” and “be anxious for nothing,” and it’s like somebody keeps dropping bricks into your backpack and pretty soon you might be ready to let something else be known to all men. Nobody rejoices always, much less is anyone ever gentle to everyone or never anxious about anything. These commands, like all the commands in Scripture, can only be received in one of two ways: either as raw law (“do this and live or fail and die”) or else as the righteousness received by faith alone (“Christ has done this for me, and His Spirit will work this in me”). One is a “got to,” and the other is a “get to.” One is the burden of a continual threat and a whip; the other is the grateful response to incredibly good news. The demand of the law condemns every infraction, but the righteousness of faith is first of all the announcement, “there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1). And what is the believing response to that verdict from God the Judge? Amazing grace, how sweet the sound! Hallelujah, what a Savior! What’s the response? Rejoicing. Rejoicing in the Lord always. And when that saving God is near, God’s kindness and gentleness cannot help but be known to all men. All anxiety fades away.   

PRAYER WITH THANKSGIVING

Being accepted by God for the sake of Christ is the foundation of an anxiety-free life. But God gives two additional tools here for fighting anxiety: thanksgiving and petition. The first step is thanksgiving. We are to make our petitions known to God with thanksgiving (Phi. 4:6). Sometimes prayers are just worrying in front of God, but thanksgiving is the God-ordained package we are to deliver our petitions in. Gratitude is what prepares us to actually present our requests. So whatever the trouble, whatever the worry, begin by thanking God for it. The same God who sent His only Son for you has allowed this trouble, this challenge in your life for your good. So thank Him. And then having honestly thanked God for the hardship, ask Him to take it, ask Him to deliver you, ask Him to change it. Present your request. 

Christians are not people who do not notice problems or dangers. Christians are people who know what to do with all of those cares: “Humble yourselves therefore under the mighty hand of God, that he may exalt you in due time: casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you” (1 Pet. 5:6-7). In a strange irony, anxious people are actually being supremely arrogant. Anxious people insist on carrying their own burdens and refuse to cast them on the Lord. But your hand is not mighty enough; that’s why you’re so stressed out. That’s why your gentleness is not known to all men. But God’s hand is mighty; He can handle your cares and He cares for you like no one else. And the promise is that when you pray like this, God’s peace that passes all understanding will stand guard at your heart and mind in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:7).

CONCLUSION: MAKE A LIST

The final exhortation is to make a list, to count, to log all the true things, all the honest things, all the just, pure, lovely, praiseworthy, and virtuous things. This is biblical therapy, if you like. How do you break bad habits of worry, or bad habits of any disobedient thoughts? Make a list of what to think about: beautiful things, true things, just things, praiseworthy things: the air in your lungs, refreshing water, sunrises and sunsets, chocolate, Psalms, good jokes, forgiveness.

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