Christ Church

Empathy and the Clowns (Biblical Child Discipline in an Age of Therapeutic Goo #3)

Grace Sensing on

INTRODUCTION

Many Christian parents are aware of the fact that the outside world is hostile to our faith, and as a consequence is hostile to the approach we must take in bringing our children up in that faith. We are usually aware of the fact of the hostility, but we are frequently unaware of the root of that hostility. What it is that is necessitating such a radical clash? Why is it that everything seems to have come unstuck?

THE TEXT

“Therefore be imitators of God as dear children” (Ephesians 5:1, NKJV). 

“Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth them that fear him. For he knoweth our frame; He remembereth that we are dust” (Psalm 103:13–14). 

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

One of the central ways that children learn is through imitation. This is natural and is built into the very fabric of the created order. Because God has adopted us as His children, we have been brought into the family and household of God (John 1:13; Eph. 2:19). In our first text (Eph. 5:1), we are told to imitate God as His dearly beloved children. Now we know that, in the very nature of the case, we can never duplicate what God is and does. But we are nevertheless commanded to imitate it. Our imitation of Him should naturally carry over into how we care for our own children. He has children, and we should imitate Him in how He treats them. 

Our second text provides us with one point where such imitation will be most fruitful (Ps. 103:13-14). A good father pities his children, and God is just like this also. He too pities His children, showing tender care to those who fear Him. He knows and understands our frame. He is fully aware of our frailty. He remembers that we are but dust. And in just the same way, good and godly parents are sympathetically aware of their children’s frame. Godly parents have sympathy. 

SYMPATHY & EMPATHY

So I used the word sympathy just now, and we must begin distinguishing it from the therapeutic uses of empathy. The word sympathy is of ancient use, and it means to “feel together with.” We have a sympathetic high priest in the Lord Jesus, for example. “For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with the feeling [sympatheo] of our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). And we as Christians are commanded to be sympathetic: “Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion [sympathes] one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous” (1 Peter 3:8). 

But the word empathy is of relatively recent coinage, and it is used in two ways. One is the man-in-the-street approach, which simply uses empathy as a synonym for sympathy. That’s okay, no bones were broken, and we shouldn’t freak out about it. 

However the other use of empathy is the use that is currently destroying Western Civilization, and is filled with toxic hatred of all that is good. As you are bringing your children up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, this is the central threat that your children will face. This is what you must protect them from. It is the central danger.

This is empathy as it is being employed by the therapeutic professionals, and their use has worked its way into our laws, our customs, our HR departments, the media, and our courts. Empathy demands that we feel with others without making any judgments about them or their behavior whatever. Their feelings are to be considered paramount, and no questions asked. And if you do not provide this unconditional empathy, on demand, it must be because you are a hater. 

Here is how we may distinguish the two concepts. If a man is drowning in the river, and as he floats by, you throw him a rope, while remaining firmly on the bank yourself, that’s sympathy. If a man is drowning in the river, and as he floats by, you take a header in alongside him so that you might drown together with him, that’s empathy. The difference lies in this—with sympathy, there is an objective solution outside of, and independent of, the person’s feelings. With empathy, those feelings are the only reality that may be considered.  

WHAT THE TRUE DANGER IS

For the sake of clarity, let us call this sort of toxic empathy untethered empathy. But this raises a question. The pathos, the feeling that the person has, is untethered from what? The answer comes at us forcefully, and with the hard and bitter logic of the outer darkness. Feelings, in this understanding, are untethered from absolutely everything else.

This therapeutic heresy, which has insisted on this radical emotional autonomy, has resulted in absolutely incoherent phrases like “my truth.” The demand to untether this way has been a demand, in effect, to “make reality optional.” And it was not long after that when the focus of that coercion shifted and became “make such denials of reality mandatory.” This is the foundation that the pronoun madness rests upon. This is the cornerstone of all the transgender confusion. Take this disordered empathy away, and clown world disappears. Remove the fuel and the fire goes out.  

GRACIOUS TETHERING

What clown world in its lusts is seeking to detach us from—the fixed nature of absolutes—we as believers must be doggedly intent on embracing. “I cling to Your testimonies; O Lord, do not put me to shame!” (Psalm 119:31). The key word there is cling. All the things the worldlings are jettisoning, we must tether ourselves to. And what is that? Perhaps the word tether is too weak. How about weld?

God is the immutable one. God is a rock and His works are perfect (Dt. 32:4). “Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and cometh down from the Father of lights, with whom is no variableness, neither shadow of turning” (James 1:17). Second, His Word reflects the constancy of His character. “The grass withereth, the flower fadeth: But the word of our God shall stand for ever” (Isaiah 40:8). And third, the objective world reflects the character of God as well. “You who laid the foundations of the earth, so that it should not be moved forever” (Psalm 104:5). God created nature such that it has a nature. 

And this is why your child’s feelings must be taught to obey God, to obey His Word, and to obey His world. This is why we must obey our chromosomes. This is why we must disobey the pronoun madness.

If you are distraught in the course of bringing up children in this bedlam, and you have come to see empathy as a ravening monster, which it is, take heart. Your rescuer, your savior, your deliverer from this monster is sympathy. “For we have not an high priest which cannot be touched with [sympathy for] our infirmities; but was in all points tempted like as we are, yet without sin” (Hebrews 4:15). Always remember you have Christ.

Read Full Article

Biblical Child Discipline in an Age of Therapeutic Goo #2

Grace Sensing on

INTRODUCTION

In order to work through a series of messages on parenting, it is necessary to pay some attention to the parents. The parents are the ones doing the work, and the quality of the participle (parenting) is going to be dependent on the quality of the source. If the parent is foolish, so will the parenting be. If the parent is dictatorial, so will the parenting be. If the parent is wise, so will the parenting be. So rather than turning immediately to the interactions between parent and child, it is necessary to look first at the relationship between parent and God. 

THE TEXT

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith” (Rom. 12:1–3). 

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Every Christian, regardless of their station, needs to present their bodies (and whatever their bodies do) as a living sacrifice to God. Your bed is an altar, your car is an altar, your chair at the dinner table is an altar, and from that place, all day long, you present your body and whatever your body is doing as a sacrifice to God (v. 1). This would include speaking to your children, and disciplining them. What you do here needs to be acceptable to God, and a reasonable act of worship. We are created as conforming creatures, and so it is not a matter of whether we will conform to a pattern, but rather which pattern we will conform to. Paul says here that it is not to be the pattern assigned by the world (v. 2), but rather that we be transformed through the renewal of the mind, conforming to the entire goodness of the will of God (v. 2). And then we come to the place where we see how it all plays out. It plays out in what we think of ourselves. Do not think of yourself more highly than you should (v. 3), but rather to think of yourselves in a God-given and sensible (sophroneo) way (v. 3).

THREE KINDS OF PARENTS

Parents are assigned the rule of their children. Children are instructed, for example, to obey their parents (Eph. 6:1). They are told that they must honor their parents (Eph. 6:2). They are told that their responsibilities to their parents do change over time, but some sort of responsibility is always there (Mark 7:10-11). We can see if we put all this together that parents are assigned the rule of their children as they grow. This being the case, we can divide parents into the three broad categories of rulers that we find in Scripture. 

A ruler can be foolish and indulgent (Prov. 25:5). A ruler can be foolish and dictatorial (Ecc. 4:13). And a ruler can be wise and prudent (Prov. 20:26). Bringing this down into the micro-kingdom of the home, parents can be indulgent, parents can be tyrannical, and parents can be authoritative. In the nature of the case, the wise parents will be humble, and therefore not that sure about how wise they are being. The dictatorial parent thinks he is simply being firm, and the indulgent parent thinks she is simply being kind. But no one should think of themselves more highly than they should. 

And remember our propensity to guard against the sin we are least likely to fall into. The indulgent parent is all on his guard against tyranny, and the tyrannical father is being very careful to not be too soft. Remember this observation from Screwtape: “The game is to have them all running about with fire extinguishers when there is a flood, and all crowding to that side of the boat which is already nearly gunwale under.”

WHY NOT ASK?

At this point it is easy to throw up your hands in mock despair, and lament the fact that this is so hard to figure out. But perhaps the problem is not that it is too hard to figure out, but rather that we are too hard to want to figure it out. Lewis again:

“It is no good passing this over with some vague, general · admission such as ‘Of course, I know I have my faults.’ It is important to realize that there is some really fatal flaw in you: something which gives the others just that same feeling of despair which their flaws give you . . . But why, you ask, don’t the others tell me? Believe me, they have tried to tell you over and over again, and you just couldn’t ‘take it’ . . . And even the faults you do know you don’t know fully. You say, ‘I admit I lost my temper last night’; but the others know that you’re always doing it, that you are a bad-tempered person” (The Trouble With X). 

Why not ask? First, ask God to reveal where you actually are on this map. Are you indulgent? Are you harsh? Are you kind and wise? “Search me, O God, and know my heart: Try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting” (Psalm 139:23–24). And then, having humbled yourself this way, ask one further thing from God. Ask Him to speak to through your family and friends. Then go to them and tell them to please be straight with you. If they are critical, you promise not to get angry or to go weird on them. “Would you describe me as an indulgent parent, a harsh parent, or a wise and kind parent?” Do not do this with one person and then go put their opinion in the bank. Ask 5 to 10 people, and see if you start to notice a pattern. 

LOVE IS

As you evaluate the “parenting” that is going on in your home, do not attempt to tinker with the fruit. All the attention should be given to the tree.

“Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit.” (Matthew 7:17–18). 

And if the examination brings you to a point of humiliation and regret, take it as God’s kindness to you. “Let the righteous smite me; it shall be a kindness: And let him reprove me; it shall be an excellent oil, which shall not break my head” (Psalm 141:5). Do not despair, and do not drop your name into that glorious passage in 1 Cor. 13, in order to overwhelm yourself with a sense of your sinfulness. No . . . put Christ’s name in there, and use that passage to look to Him. 

“Christ suffereth long, and is kind; Christ envieth not; Christ vaunteth not Himself, is not puffed up, doth not behave Himself unseemly, seeketh not His own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil; rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth; beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things” (1 Corinthians 13:4–7). 

Read Full Article

Reformational Family (What is “Reformed” Anyway? #5) (King’s Cross)

Grace Sensing on

INTRODUCTION

We live in a world that says you can be anything you want, anything at all – the more bizarre and perverse the better, just don’t be an ordinary, faithful man who marries an ordinary faithful woman, and have a pile of happy, ordinary kids and love and serve the Lord together. Anything but that. And the mischievous Tom Sawyer inside you should grin and say, “Well, now I’m going to normal even harder.”

A significant part of the Protestant Reformation was a recovering of the Bible’s teaching concerning the goodness and power of marriage, children, and family. Celibacy had come to be seen as the “higher calling,” and the duties and responsibilities of family as therefore lower and menial. The devil has always sought to lure people away from the glory of marriage and family precisely because when God’s blessing is upon it, it is such potent goodness. 

The Text: “And the Lord God said, It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a help meet for him…” (Gen. 2:18-25)

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

In a striking contrast to all the “good” that God has made/seen before, God says it is “not good” for man to be alone (Gen. 2:18). This is not merely a statement about bachelors, it is also a statement about the goodness of family and community. The process of naming the animals was educational: Adam was naming their attributes and learning about how God made the world, concluding in part that other creatures had mates, which he lacked (Gen. 2:19-20). So God put Adam in a coma, removed a rib, and constructed the woman from the rib and brought her to Adam (Gen. 2:21-22). Using a Hebrew superlative, Adam spoke the first recorded poem, calling her the best version of his flesh and bones (Gen. 2:23). He also names the woman “eeshah” which is related to the word for “fire,” suggesting glory, and he simultaneously renames himself “eesh,” a glorified-man. For this reason, a man leaves his father and mother and becomes one flesh with his wife, and this union has no shame (Gen. 2:24-25). 

NUCLEAR MARRIAGE

It is perilously easy to take some ordinary things for granted. But one of the ways God tries to get our attention is through death penalties. Modern Christians are sometimes tempted to be embarrassed of the death penalties in Scripture for rebellious sons, adultery, or homosexuality, but even Jesus cited the death penalty for a certain high-handed dishonor of parents (Mk. 7). If you met the CEO of a nuclear power plant, and he told you they just “wing it,” you would be understandably concerned. If your neighbors announced one day that they bought some uranium and plutonium off the internet and they were going to be doing some experiments in their basement, you would be very concerned. And it should not give you any pause, when they ask why you care so much about what consenting adults do in the privacy of their own home. 

We are living in the nuclear fallout of the sexual revolution. Skyrocketing crime, mass incarceration, substance abuse, suicide, sexual abuse, and 65 million dead babies and counting is our Chernobyl. It is not whether there will be death penalties. The only question is who will be executed. We have not actually repudiated capital punishment; we have simply reassigned it to the most innocent. While the death penalty is only mandatory for murder, other crimes do approach that harm to the image of God and therefore allow for death as a possible maximum sentence. And many of those crimes center on the destruction of marriage and family because that is where people are being made: immortal souls, images of God, that will live forever. 

REFORMED MARRIAGE

A reformed view of marriage understands the gift of marriage to be a great “good,” not an accommodation to human sin or weakness (Gen. 1-2). Sin certainly adds many difficulties, but marriage, sexual intimacy, and the fruitfulness of children were gifts given before the Fall. A reformed view of marriage also affirms the creational good of the original structure of marriage: the woman was made from the man and for the man, and she is therefore, the glory of man (1 Cor. 11:1-12). Closely related is the sacrificial leadership of the husband and the respectful submission of the wife to her own husband (cf. Eph. 5:22-25). All of this is bound by a covenant, enacted by public vows and sealed with sexual union, recognized by God and blessed by Him (Gen. 1:28, Mal. 2:14). This is why a man must love his wife as his own body. God really does make the two into one covenant body, and therefore what a husband/father does impacts everything. The covenant is a multiplier for good or evil. While each member certainly is responsible before God individually, the head is also responsible for the whole body. 

APPLICATIONS

One of the “doctrines of devils” is “forbidding to marry” (1 Tim. 4:3). And sometimes this happens through a kind of hardening that simply rejects the natural use of men/women (Rom. 1:26-27). Therefore, beware of celibacy movements. Nevertheless, encourage singles in chastity and faithfulness even as they bear this hardship. Related, generally aim for earlier marriage, but don’t overshoot. Just because early 20s is good, doesn’t mean that 17 is better. It is not buying into worldly feminism to want your sons and daughters actually prepared for marriage. 

To the married: do not deprive one another sexually (1 Cor. 7:3). There are relatively few warnings about Satan’s attacks, but regular intimacy is one way to guard against them (1 Cor. 7:5). The marriage bed is honorable and undefiled (Heb. 13:4). The Song of Songs is in the Bible.

Children are reinforcements (Ps. 127). Welcome and celebrate children. But a man with five kids and a wife who has had three miscarriages in a row is not necessarily becoming worldly to decide (humanly speaking) to be done having kids. But this is a private decision. So mind your own business, and husbands love your wives as you consider your resources (Lk. 14:31).

Every covenant brings with it blessings and curses. The central thing that God blesses is faith, but this faith is alive and it obeys. And therefore the instructions to family members are not arbitrary. Husbands love and lead like Christ. Wives respect and obey in the Lord. Parents teach and discipline. Children obey. The stakes are very high, but the blessings are very rich. 

Read Full Article

How to Be a Christian Kid #2

Christ Church on

INTRODUCTION

As we examine the Scriptures on this topic, we find that the central duty that Christian offspring have is the duty of honor. This honor has different manifestations depending on the time of life, but there is always honor at the center. And this means, in its turn, that learning how to be a Christian kid means learning how to honor. 

THE TEXT

“Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Exodus 20:12). 

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

Our text is the fifth commandment, first given to the Israelites at Mount Sinai in Arabia (Ex. 20:12). The commandment is repeated again in the second giving of the law, near the end of the forty years in the wilderness. In this second giving of the fifth commandment, the language is a little more expansive. “Honour thy father and thy mother, as the Lord thy God hath commanded thee; that thy days may be prolonged, and that it may go well with thee, in the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee” (Deuteronomy 5:16). This version refers back to Sinai, and it promises a good quality of life, not just a long life. 

When Paul quotes this commandment in Ephesians 6, he is referring to the form of it in Deuteronomy because he includes “that it may go well with thee.” He calls it the first commandment with a promise. As came out in discussion with one of you, the word for first is protos. This can mean first in a sequence, but it cannot be the meaning here—the second and third commandments also contain promises. The word protos can also mean chief, or preeminent, or best, or principal. In Luke 15:12, the robe that is brought out for the returning prodigal is the best robe, and the word used is protos. And so this fifth commandment is the chief commandment with a promise. It is the key to many of God’s intended covenant blessings for us.  

TWO STAGES OF HONOR

Scripture requires that children honor their parents, and this is a commandment that does not diminish in force as you grow older. The honor is rendered differently according to your time of life, but it does not 

When you are a dependent child, your honor is demonstrated fundamentally through obedience (Eph. 6:1). The word for obey means to heed, or to listen. So Paul says, “children, obey,” and the reason they are to obey follows in the very next verse, which is Paul’s reference to the fifth commandment. More on this in a moment. 

When you are grown up, what then? How do grown children show honor to their parents? They are to do it through practical financial support.

“For Moses said, Honour thy father and thy mother; and, Whoso curseth father or mother, let him die the death: But ye say, If a man shall say to his father or mother, It is Corban, that is to say, a gift, by whatsoever thou mightest be profited by me; he shall be free. And ye suffer him no more to do ought for his father or his mother; Making the word of God of none effect through your tradition, which ye have delivered: and many such like things do ye” (Mark 7:10–13). 

So when children are little, living at home, and mom and dad are paying the bills, the appropriate response is simply obedience. And after children are grown and independent, they are not independent of the obligation to honor, which they render by means of practical support. This is a design feature. It is how things are supposed to be.

WHAT THIS OBEDIENCE LOOKS LIKE

So if you are dependent on your parents, you are to honor them through obedience. And remember that the commandment includes your mother. Sons, you are to obey your mothers. “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother” (Proverbs 1:8; 6:20). This is the one part of your life where the patriarchy does not apply.

There are three elements to this that I would point out. 

The first is that you are to do what you are told. “But what think ye? A certain man had two sons; and he came to the first, and said, Son, go work to day in my vineyard. He answered and said, I will not: but afterward he repented, and went. And he came to the second, and said likewise. And he answered and said, I go, sir: and went not. Whether of them twain did the will of his father? They say unto him, The first. Jesus saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That the publicans and the harlots go into the kingdom of God before you” (Matthew 21:28–31). 

 The second is that you are to accept the discipline they apply to you. “Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?” (Hebrews 12:9). 

The third is that you are to learn how to work hard. A lazy son is one who brings shame to his parents, and it your task to bring honor to them, not shame.  “He that gathereth in summer is a wise son: But he that sleepeth in harvest is a son that causeth shame” (Proverbs 10:5). “He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, Is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach” (Proverbs 19:26).

If you do these three things as a child, you will be in a good position to do what you are called to do as an adult child. 

DOUBLE PORTION

Scripture teaches that the oldest son, even if he is the son of a less-favored wife, is to receive a double portion of the inheritance. This was because he had the primary responsibility for caring for his parents as they aged. “But he shall acknowledge the son of the hated for the firstborn, by giving him a double portion of all that he hath: for he is the beginning of his strength; the right of the firstborn is his” (Deuteronomy 21:17).

But this is a cycle. Parents lay up for children, so that the children have the wherewithal to care for them . . . and then some. “Behold, the third time I am ready to come to you; and I will not be burdensome to you: for I seek not yours, but you: for the children ought not to lay up for the parents, but the parents for the children” (2 Corinthians 12:14). A righteous man should receive from his parents and be willing to care for them, and also to leave an inheritance for his grandchildren. “A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children’s children: And the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the just” (Proverbs 13:22). 

But life is messy, and there are times when the oldest son is unable or unwilling to do what he is called to do. What then? The rest of the family is still involved. “If any man or woman that believeth have widows, let them relieve them, and let not the church be charged; that it may relieve them that are widows indeed” (1 Timothy 5:16).

“But if any widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show piety at home and to repay their parents; for this is good and acceptable before God” (1 Timothy 5:4, NKJV). 

“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever” (1 Timothy 5:8, NKJV). 

THE GOD WHO BLESSES THROUGH CHRIST

When confronted with our responsibility to treat this commandment as the chief commandment with a promise, if we try to shy away from it all as somehow “unrealistic,” we need to confront our own unbelief. This is the chief commandment with a promise, and so our reluctance is unbelief in Christ. “For all the promises of God in him are yea, and in him Amen, unto the glory of God by us.” (2 Corinthians 1:20). If all the promises are amen in Him, then how not the chief of the promises?

Read Full Article

How to Be a Christian Kid #1

Christ Church on

INTRODUCTION

“Growing up Christian” is a process that revolves around a relationship between people. In most cases, you have the parents on the one hand, and you have the child or the children on the other. And, as the Scriptures plainly teach, growing up Christian is a cooperative effort. It is something that the parents are actively engaged in doing, but it is also something that calls for godly and intelligent responses from the child. And so it is that we are going to spend a few Sundays on how to be a Christian kid. 

THE TEXT

“Even a child is known by his doings, whether his work be pure, and whether it be right” (Proverbs 20:11). 

SUMMARY OF THE TEXT

We will begin with the obvious meaning of this passage, which is that even children are to be considered moral agents. While we do need to make some adjustments for age, a fact recognized by Scripture in the use of that word even—“even a child”—the fact remains that young children live in a moral universe. There is an up and a down. There is a right and a wrong. There is purity and impurity. Even a child is known by his actions. His actions can be pure or impure, and his actions can be right or wrong. And this being the case, at bottom, there can be love for God and His ways, or a distaste for Him and His ways. Even a child is attracted or repelled.

THE FIRST DISTINCTION

If we are going to talk about being a Christian kid, as we are, the very first thing to do is define what that means. What do we mean by Christian? We are dealing with two senses of the word here.

The first sense has to do with the fact that, like it or not, you are part of the visible church. You are baptized. And when you were baptized, it was in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. You are in the church. You are a member of the covenant. That is the first sense. You are a Christian in the same way that you are not a Muslim, and not a Buddhist. You are being brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord (Eph. 6:4). But to put it crudely, you are a Christian here because someone brought you here, and you didn’t really have a choice. And when you were baptized, right here, we all stood up and said, “and you, still, know nothing of it.” Nobody asked your permission.

And this brings to our minds what Corrie ten Boom once said, which was that “a mouse born in a biscuit box isn’t a biscuit.” This has a good point to it, and it is one we should always remember, but it is still a tad simplistic. A traitor born in America isn’t an American . . . ah, but he is. That’s what makes him a traitor. A husband who cheats on his wife isn’t a husband . . . ah, but he is. That’s what makes him unfaithful. 

So the second sense of the word has to do with whether your heart is right before God. Are your loyalties in the right place? It was possible, for example, to be a Jew in the sense of not being a Buddhist, and yet still to not be a true Jew. A true Jew was one who was one inwardly, who had been circumcised in the heart, by the Spirit (Rom. 2:28-29).

Now, since everybody we are talking about (in this message) is in the covenant, in the visible church, how are we supposed to tell the difference? So, just to be clear, as a Christian kid, you are not required to have a convulsive religious experience, in which you hear all the angels singing, and your mother cannot even approach your bedroom because it is suffused with a numinous and golden glow. And if that ever did happen, she would probably pound on the door and say, “Honey, stop it! We’re Reformed.”  

EVEN A CHILD

So when we are evaluating the actions of a child, we should make sure to use the biblical weights and measures. And when you are evaluating your own actions, as a child, you should be doing the same thing. Don’t measure with the wrong yardstick.  

If someone is truly converted to God, this shows up in their thinking and actions. We do not produce such fruit in order to become the fruit tree, but if we have been transformed into a fruit tree, then there is going to be fruit. Make sure you get this in the right order. First the tree, then the fruit, and then the fruit inspection. This being the case, what should you be looking for? The problem with morbid self-examination is not that people check their own hearts (2 Cor. 13:5). That by itself is a good thing to do. The problem with morbid self-examination is that it uses standards of evaluation that are entirely made up—e.g. “I must not be a true Christian because I was tempted to sin once.”

LOYALTY AT THE CENTER

So let me ask you a few questions in three basic areas. 

The first is this. Do you love Jesus Christ? Are you loyal to Him? “Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory” (1 Peter 1:8). In short, what do you make of Jesus Christ? What do you think of Him? His name is on you—what do you make of that? Is that what you want?

The second has to do with your attitude toward Scripture. Are you hungry to hear about the things of God? “As newborn babes, desire the sincere milk of the word, that ye may grow thereby” (1 Peter 2:2). When you were born physically, you were born hungry. That is a good sign of life—a desire for food. When the people were first converted at Pentecost, they devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching (Acts 2:42).

And last, do you love and honor your folks? This is a command from God, and it is a command with a promise. “Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;) That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth” (Ephesians 6:1–3). Notice that he says more than that you should simply do this. He says you are to do it “in the Lord.” We will have more to say about this passage in the remaining messages.

You are a Christian kid. You are part of this body. Moreover, you are an essential part of this body. It is our desire to have all of you, as part of this body, to be a healthy part of it, and not a neglected or diseased part of it. And as part of the body, it all goes back to your relationship to the Head, who is Christ.

Read Full Article